Chapter 35
thirty-five
. . .
Bex
“Bestie,” Luke says in my ear. “Please don’t tell me you’re the type of girl who gets a boyfriend and then drops all her friends.”
A laugh squeaks past my lips. “Well, I’ve never had a boyfriend before, so I can’t promise you that.”
He lets out an affronted noise. “Never? I’ve had girlfriends. I’ve dated plenty of women. And this is me we’re talking about. You’re a fucking catch, babe.”
“Shut up.” My face heats as I badge myself through the practice facility’s security barrier.
Paul, my favorite security guard, waves at me. He’s reading a thick paperback, one I saw Nick reading last week. Guess he’s part of their book club, too.
Once I’m safely out of his hearing range, I turn back to my phone call with Luke.
“Guys don’t really want to date me, at least not for more than one night. When you look like me—”
At that, he scoffs.
“Shush. I wasn’t interested in being rejected. And I was always so focused on school. I never put effort into it. Nobody was worth it.”
“But Mitchell is.”
My stomach flutters when I think of my green-eyed hockey player.
The effortless ways he shows me he cares.
The way I’ve never had to doubt his intentions, not once.
The way he woke me up with a kiss to my forehead, made me come twice, then cooked me breakfast before heading to the rink for morning skate.
“Yeah, he is.”
“Then I’m happy for you, babe,” he says. “But we’re going to have to work on this. He doesn’t get to steal you away from me. We’ll compare schedules and make this work.”
“Aww, Lukey. Did you miss me?” I tease.
He laughs. “Yeah, Bex, I did. And I’m not afraid to say it. Unlike some people.”
“Ouch. Shots fired.”
“I kind of feel bad,” he continues.
“For what? Why?”
“All this time, he thought you and I were together. I can’t imagine how shitty that must have made him feel. I never should have said that thing on vacation. We never should have pretended to be together and rubbed his nose in it.”
“Probably not, but no matter how we got here, we’re here now,” I point out. “I wasn’t in a place back then to hear him out. Hell, I barely am now. But at least we’re finally together and happy.”
“That’s all I want,” Luke says. “For you to be happy.”
“I want that for you, too. How is Tampa?”
“It’s…” His heavy exhale conveys plenty. “I really liked Austin. And I really liked Winnipeg before that. I’m not liking Tampa the same way yet. But that’s a yet. There’s still a chance it will turn around.”
“You dating?”
“Meh.”
“Is that a yes or a no?”
He chuckles. “I’ve hooked up a few times, but I’m not seeing any one person more than that,” he says. “It’s like you said. I don’t want to put the effort in.”
“How’s the loneliness thing going?”
“Still the same.”
“Well, don’t look for a woman to magically fix that for you,” I caution. “True happiness comes from within. Trust me on that.”
“Are you doing better?”
“Better, but still not fixed. I don’t think there’s a miracle cure. It’s taking ten steps forward and five steps back.”
“Any forward progress is progress,” he murmurs.
“Exactly. And I’m putting in the work. I have a therapy appointment tonight, actually. But being in a relationship doesn’t fix me or change me. I wouldn’t have been open to one if I hadn’t done the work to get to where I am now. And there’s still plenty more work to do.”
“I’m happy for you,” Luke says, his voice soft. Vulnerable. “We all need a little more happiness in our lives.”
“Do you think…”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think we’ll stay friends?”
Warmth spreads through me as he laughs in my ear. “Like you can get rid of me. Seriously, babe. The audacity.”
“Hey, Lukey?”
“Yeah, Bexy?”
“I’m glad we’re friends.”
He lets out a heavy exhalation. “Me too.”
“Don’t…” I swallow my hesitation. “Don’t let me go, okay? If you think I’m pulling away or forgetting about you, don’t let me.”
“You couldn’t even if you tried.”
As I finally reach my office, I swipe the security badge to unlock the door, and I stop short.
Because sitting on my desk is a bouquet so enormous it takes up nearly the entire tabletop. It’s a gorgeous arrangement of sunflowers and baby’s breath, with some greenery to fill it out.
A card pokes through the blooms, and I pluck it from the plastic holder.
Bex Marie, the note says in a clear, typed font. Very glad to be doing this thing with you. Have a great day today. XO, Nick.
My heart flutters, and I press my hand to my chest.
“What’s wrong?” Luke asks.
“What?”
“You made a noise.”
I giggle. “My boyfriend did a cute thing.”
He pretends to gag. “Gross.”
“Oh, shut up.” Affectionately, I roll my eyes, fingering the soft petals. This time, I hear the audible aww I let out.
A knock raps on my open door, and I look up to see Vanessa, dressed in her usual uniform of an oversized sweater, skinny jeans, and combat boots.
“Staff meeting in ten,” she says.
“Be right there,” I call out, and she nods. “Luke, I’ve got to run. I’ll talk to you later?”
“Definitely,” he says. “Take care, babe.”
We hang up, and I pick up my notebook and a pen.
“So what’s with the flowers?” Vanessa asks as I fall into step beside her. “Did he fuck up already?”
I raise my eyebrows. “Why do you think he fucked up?”
“Because when Sven was a royal idiot, he sent an entire bakery’s worth of pastries to the office.” She sighs, a goofy, smitten look on her face. “He still sends them, even when we aren’t fighting. Just thinking of you pastries.”
“Well, these are thinking of you flowers,” I counter. “He was being sweet and thoughtful.”
Vanessa stops in her tracks, then turns to me in the middle of the hallway.
“Bex.” Her serious expression makes me pause.
“Yes?”
“I’m so happy you’ve found someone who appreciates you the way they should.” She flings her arms around me, crushing me in a hug. “For years, I’ve seen the way you let yourself be treated. Disregarded. And I’m glad you’ve found someone who doesn’t let you do that anymore.”
I let out an affronted noise. “I didn’t—”
“You did,” she says over me. “He’s good for you. I wish you both all the best.”
All the fight seeps out of me, and I hug my longtime friend back. Her smaller, muscular body reminds me of our days on the lacrosse field, celebrating after winning a game. Of times gone by, both good and bad.
With all the changes in our lives, some things are constants. Our friendship has endured—will endure.
“Thanks, Van,” I murmur.
“Come on,” she says, stepping back and slinging her arm over my shoulder. “We’ve got a meeting to get to.”