Epilogue
Bex
one week later
“Hot stuff coming through!” Luke shouts as he bustles through the apartment to the balcony, a Dutch oven in his oven mitt–covered hands.
“You’re not that hot,” Audrey retorts.
Seb, holding their ten-month-old daughter, cringes. “Please don’t ever mention my brother’s hotness.”
Luke smirks as he sets the casserole dish on the table. Wyatt and Elsy are chatting with Nick inside, as far away from the elements as possible. It’s barely cold. A light chill, at most.
Strictly speaking, May is still a little early to be dining on the patio, but considering the Henry brothers bring out the worst in each other, and Wyatt and Nick only encourage them, it made more sense to have this family reunion dinner in the building. Not to mention Cora’s early bedtime.
The Henry brothers have been playing against each other for years. This is the first time they’re meeting in the playoffs, though.
Wyatt’s team didn’t even make the postseason, so once he finished with the formalities of closing down the year, they came up to Boston, staying in my apartment. The lease is up next month, and I won’t be renewing it. Most of my time is spent at Nick’s place.
We get to enjoy Wyatt and Elsy for three weeks, or for the rest of the playoffs, before they jet off to Thailand or Bali. Some romantic getaway far from here. It’s nice having them nearby. We can get together for coffee or brunch, have a family dinner, and hang out and enjoy being together.
Elsy has come with me, Vanessa, and Ceci to book club, and the group all gathered for drinks last week. I can almost imagine what it’ll be like when they’re here for real. I’m not ready for Wyatt’s career to end, but I am looking forward to having them here with us.
Family are the people you choose to keep in your lives, not because you have to, but because you want to. This is mine. Messy, unconventional, chaotic, and fun.
Luke slings his arm around my shoulder, tugging me into his side. “How are you doing, babe?”
“I’m good.” I curl into him, stealing his warmth. His familiar scent is comforting.
But there’s no attraction there. Nothing illicit. Just comfort.
He squeezes my waist. “No regrets?”
I’m finishing out the postseason, but once the team is done, so am I. My job, that is. Even though I’ll still consult with the Grizzlies, and my lab is in their practice facility, I will miss traveling with the team. Traveling with Nick.
But if we’re going to be living together, it will help to get some space every now and again. I’ll miss him like crazy. It just means our reunions will be so much sweeter.
“None.” I pat his chest. “How about you?”
“Unfortunately, I’ve got many,” he jokes.
There’s an undercurrent of truth to his words, though.
Tampa may be in the postseason, but Luke’s game is struggling.
Has been struggling. For so long, his points production has been a source of pride, and now it’s a yoke around his shoulders, dragging him down.
And the more down he gets, the less he can score.
It’s a never-ending battle against his own mind, and nobody can change his course except him.
I open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
“You’re not going to get me into therapy,” Luke says. “I’m a big boy. I can handle myself.”
With a sigh, I give in. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. And until Luke crumbles under the weight of the pressure he’s carrying, until he finally burns out, there’s nothing anyone can do to make him change.
He has to want to change.
It’s the same thing Nick’s said about his father. Fred has to want to change, and there’s been no indication that’s actually the case. He’s not opposed to reopening contact one day down the line, but for his own sake, he has to protect himself first.
I haven’t talked to my mom since the day I muted her. She hasn’t messaged or called, and I haven’t, either. It’s nice not being on tenterhooks all the time, waiting for Mount St. Helen to erupt.
Her voice still rings in my ear. I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to fully get rid of it. But with a lot of therapy, it’s helping quiet it. Make it easier to challenge the thoughts. Easier to reframe and poke holes in the fallacies.
I glance back into the apartment. Nick and Elsy are whispering in the corner, and I wait for the jealousy to hit, but… there is none.
Luke and I have the same sort of friendship as Nick and Elsy. It would be hypocritical of me to complain or object. We love each other, we support each other unconditionally, and everyone respects our relationships’ boundaries.
My brother crosses the room to get to us, and I grin at him. We’ve grown closer than ever since he and Elsy got together. We’re finally friends.
I have my big brother back. The guy who looked out for me all my childhood, the one who supported me when nobody else cared.
“You ready for tomorrow?” Wyatt asks Luke.
“I was born ready,” my bestie replies with a smug smirk.
“Okay, sure,” I laugh.
Luke pokes me in the side, and I giggle, twitching away from him.
Wyatt looks between us, then back at Nick, who’s still chatting with Elsy and now Audrey. My fiancé’s attention isn’t on them, though; he’s watching me, a faint smile on his face.
“You two are good?” my brother asks, and I know he isn’t talking about me and Luke.
Things are getting better between him and Wyatt. When my brother came for another road trip, the three of us went to dinner again, and they almost smiled at each other!
It helped that I bribed Nick with a blowjob, and Wyatt with chocolate cake. And magically, they were able to put aside their differences and get along for two hours!
And eventually, they’ll be working together. They’ve agreed to do a podcast. Now it’s a matter of figuring out logistics. Do they wait until they’re both done playing, or start now?
“We’re really good. Better than ever.”
“Good.” Wyatt reaches out and squeezes my upper arm, his hand landing right below Luke’s slung across my shoulder.
The engagement ring on my finger still feels foreign. I keep forgetting I’m wearing it, and I keep banging it into things. But whenever I take it off—to shower or do the dishes—I feel naked without it.
It’s a piece of me now. Just like Nick’s permanently wedged himself into my heart, his ring on my finger is a tangible reminder of his devotion to me.
Never, not once, have I doubted the depths of his feelings.
Never, not once, have I felt like I’m not a priority.
I know hockey will always come first; he’s contracted to play.
But he’s always quick to reassure me I’m his priority.
Not just with words, although he verbalizes it plenty.
No, he shows me. Every single day, he reminds me my happiness is important to him.
Whether it’s fresh flowers delivered to my office, or a perfectly doctored cup of cold brew, or a single square of raw cookie dough delivered to me in bed for a postcoital snack, Nick proves to me that my wants and needs are important to him, too.
I’m still working on reciprocating. I’ve never had a real relationship before, and it’s taken some practice to realize I have to accommodate someone else in my life. Sometimes I forget it’s not all about me anymore; I have to consider his thoughts and feelings, too.
And it seems so ridiculous that I’d struggle with this concept, especially when he takes to it so readily, but I’ve been single and independent for so long, it’s taken a lot of work to lean on someone else.
To open up. To allow myself to depend on someone, and trust them to take care of me when I fall.
Because I will fall. I’ll stumble and misstep; we all do. It’s how we pick up the pieces and move on that’s the hallmark of growth.
“How’s the baby making going?” Luke asks Wyatt.
My brother grimaces. “Let’s not talk about that.”
“Why? B knows you’ve had sex.” He snickers. “Are we supposed to pretend we’re not all adults here?”
“It’s not going well,” Wyatt says, voice hushed. He glances back at Elsy, still deep in conversation with Audrey. “It’s just bad news after bad news, and it’s really starting to weigh on her. Hell, it’s weighing on me.”
“Wy…”
He shakes his head. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m dealing with it.”
Luke clucks his tongue. “Should we not talk about it?”
“Don’t isolate,” I add. “We’re here for you. We love you—both of you. Family is whatever you want it to be.”
“I want a kid. We want a kid,” Wyatt says. “It’s still early. We just started trying. I know we could have a while to go. But fuck, losing that heartbeat was devastating.”
Tears spring to my eyes, and I sniff, swiping at my eyes. I want this for him. I want it for them so badly, I physically ache with it.
Thunderous footsteps pound on the carpeted apartment, and Nick throws open the sliding screen door in a murderous rage. It slams against the side of the balcony with a clang, and I wince.
“What the fuck did you say?” he snarls at my brother.
Wyatt blinks a few times, lifting his hands into the air like he’s held at gunpoint. “I didn’t do anything!”
“You made her cry.” He snatches me out of Luke’s arms and into the safety of his, and his rich and woodsy cologne fills my nose. “What did they say to you? Which one do I need to punch? I can take them both. Just say the word.”
I huff out a breath of laughter. “They didn’t say anything. It was sympathy tears, not upset tears.”
“You’re okay?” he checks.
Burying my face in his neck, I breathe him in. His pulse thunders beneath my cheek.
“I’m okay. Just a little down.”
Nick pulls back enough to gaze into my eyes, as if searching for honesty. I’ve never lied to him. I wouldn’t start now.
“It’ll be okay,” he murmurs, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “It’ll all work out the way it’s supposed to.”
“I hope so.”
We’re interrupted by Seb carrying an enormous serving dish of pasta to the table, followed by Elsy with a giant vat of sauce, Audrey holding the baby. My heart pangs for my sister-in-law. My best friend. I want the world for her.
Elsy sets down the sauce and I squeeze around the small balcony to wrap her in a hug.
“Oof!” she huffs as I throw my arms around her. “What’s this for?”
“I really love you,” I whisper. “I’m so glad to have you in my life.”
Her face softens. “Me too, boo.”
Audrey settles Cora into a high chair, and the rest of us shuffle around to find our seats. Luke ends up next to his niece, and Nick maneuvers us until he’s sitting on my other side, Wyatt and Elsy across from me, and our hosts Seb and Audrey at either end.
Luke puts a few noodles on the baby’s plate, and she giggles, slapping her tray so hard the pasta strands slide around.
Nick serves me before taking food for himself, and I hide my smile when I notice Wyatt doing the same for Elsy.
And with a bolt of clarity, I realize this is it. This is the family I’ve always wanted. Sure, the percentage of hockey players is higher than anticipated.
But if there’s one thing I’ve never doubted, it’s their unconditional love for this group. For us. For me.
My fiancé. My brother. My best friend. And my bestie.
We’re a family. It doesn’t matter how unconventional it looks. We get to pick and choose who we keep in our lives, and I’ve chosen them. More importantly, they’ve chosen me.
We’ve all chosen each other.
And as I look around the table, the genuine smiles and laughter and teasing taunts, I realize there’s no other place I’d rather be.
Nick turns to me, a question on his face. “Your food okay?”
“Everything’s great.” I set my hand on his leg, needing his closeness. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”
“Dinner?”
“No. This. Our life together.”
“Me too, Bex Marie.” Nick ducks his head to kiss me quick.
The noise at the table swells again—laughter, overlapping conversations, the clink of silverware—but this moment feels suspended, just for us.
This life isn’t perfect. None of us are.
But it’s ours.
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.