CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Tanner was flying high as he piled out of the rideshare in front of O’Neill’s Pub. Connor and Jesse had arranged it all of course, wanting to be sure no one drove.
Drinks would be flowing tonight.
Tanner hated that he couldn’t go straight to Leif, but he had to show up for Luke’s celebration or there would be a lot of questions he didn’t want to answer.
Sure, he had a totally deserved reputation for having a lot of hookups, but no one would believe that he’d skipped a huge team party just to get his dick wet.
And, well, he couldn’t exactly tell them that it was so much more than that going on with Leif.
And there was no way Tanner could tell them how much he cared about Leif. Not when in a few weeks they could be facing each other in the second round.
This was the first season in a long time that the Harriers had a decent shot at making a long run. Last year, they’d been in bad shape with injuries and sickness. This year, they were all doing pretty good—at least by pro hockey standards—and they had a great roster.
Tanner could feel it in his gut. This was the year. This was their chance.
And he knew it would fuck stuff up if they found out about him and Leif. They’d question his loyalties. His ability to put personal feelings aside and focus on the game. And what if it got out somehow and Leif’s team found out? That would be even worse.
Tanner could handle whatever the Harriers threw at him. They were good dudes. They might not like the idea of him dating a guy on a rival team but they’d come around. But the Rockets? It sure didn’t sound like it.
And maybe Leif had Nicky Calhoun and Ian Salter, but that wasn’t enough. Not when the rest of the team finding out Leif was dating him would fuck everything up for Leif.
Because your GM could build a great roster—and the Rockets didn’t even really have that—but it didn’t mean shit if the guys didn’t respect each other. If they weren’t pulling together. A locker room had to be tight. Tighter than any personal differences.
A team with a bunch of homophobes finding out that their top line center and alternate captain was dating a rival? No fucking way. It would crack the locker room into two camps. Especially because they didn’t have the kind of captain that Boston did.
Nicky Calhoun might be a decent guy, but he was no Connor O’Shea.
And sure, Tanner wanted to win but he wanted to do it on the ice. Do it the right way. He wasn’t about to fuck over Leif to do it.
“Are you coming?” Jesse asked with a smirk. “Or are you just gonna stand here on the sidewalk and stare at the door all night?”
Tanner laughed and shook his head, telling the stupid little hamster inside to shut up and let him be. He was gonna party with the boys for a bit and then go across town to see Leif.
He was going to tell him he loved him, then get his brains fucked out. Or the other way around. It didn’t really matter. As long as it was him and Leif and they were together … yeah, that was the important part.
So he grinned and took Jesse’s offered hand and dragged him into the pub, shouting. “Let’s do this thaaaaaaaaaaaaang!”
The place was decked out with lights and streamers and balloons in Harriers colors and giant pictures of Crawford’s face, because Jesse was the party king. And Crawford would fucking hate every last bit of it.
Which, honestly, made it even more perfect as far as Tanner was concerned.
“Hey, where is the party boy?” Tanner asked a few minutes later, glancing around as he waited at the bar with Jesse so they could get shots.
The tunes were bumping on the jukebox, and Jesse was already shimmying a little, clearly ready to dance.
Jesse laughed. “I don’t know. Probably fucking Sebastian’s brains out. Or vice versa. Don’t want to assume anything there.”
Tanner laughed and moved forward as Graham and Thad grabbed drinks and stepped away. “I mean, normally I’d say ‘hell yeah, get it, boys!’ but they better get their asses here.”
“Why. You in a hurry?”
Tanner’s gaze snapped to Jesse’s and he felt a weird trickle of fear run down his spine. Jesse noticed fucking everything. It was almost spooky and it made Tanner want to knock on wood or throw salt over his shoulder to ward off the goalie magic.
Jesse didn’t know about him and Leif, right?
But Jesse was looking at him steadily, dimples on display, just happy to be there.
“Nope,” Tanner said cheerfully and reached for a shot, passing one to Jesse before he took one for himself.
“To Crawford!” he yelled and a cheer erupted from the crowd.
Tanner was three shots in by the time the man of the hour finally arrived.
He looked pretty relaxed and Sebastian kept shooting him these little happy grins so yeah, they’d definitely stopped somewhere to fuck. Knowing Crawford, probably his house or Sebastian’s place or whatever.
Because there was no way in fuck Crawford would do it in a car. Especially not his fancy-ass classic car. Honestly, the thing just seemed janky and loud to Tanner but whatever. Crawford loved it and there was no way in hell he was letting jizz get anywhere near it.
Tanner wasn’t sure about a lot but he was sure of that.
Another round of shots went down easily, and Tanner danced with Jesse, spinning him around like a top just because it was fun.
Tanner was flushed and sweaty by the time he stopped, and he went to the bar to get some water. He was standing around talking to Crawford, who had Sebastian tucked close to his side, when Jesse—who had wandered over a few minutes ago—laughed suddenly, interrupting the conversation.
“Hey! Sebastian, did you ever noticed that you and Tanner kinda look alike?”
Sebastian squinted at Tanner. “I mean, I guess? We’ve both got dark curly hair and dark-ish eyes. Sort of the same body type, I suppose, although he’s in way better shape than I am.”
Tanner lifted up the front of his shirt to show off his abs and stuck his tongue out. “Yeah, I’m way hotter. Sorry, Sebastian.”
Sebastian shrugged, clearly not upset about it.
Tanner grinned. He liked him. He was a good match for Crawford.
“I dunno,” Jesse said with a big wink. “Seems to me like Crawford has a type in both kinds of D-partners.”
Sebastian snorted.
Tanner’s gaze met Crawford’s and they made faces at each other.
“Eww,” Tanner said with a shudder. “Gross.”
Jesse cackled.
Crawford pulled Sebastian closer. “Yeah, I’m gonna stick with the guy who’s an actual adult, thanks.”
“Hey!” Tanner protested, a little offended. “I’m an adult!”
Everyone around them made noises like they disagreed.
“You are a child,” Graham said with a laugh. “Your driver’s license might say you’re twenty-six, but you have the maturity of a toddler.”
Tanner made a sputtering noise and turned. “You all suck. I’m gonna go drink with people who are nice to me.”
It was busy at the bar again, so he pulled out his phone, wincing when he saw the time. Shit, he should have left already. He typed out a hasty text to Leif, telling him he’d be on his way in a few, but jumped when Sebastian appeared at his elbow.
“Sooo I have to ask,” Sebastian said. “Are you and Rasmussen …”
Tanner quickly shut off his phone and blinked at him. “Are we what?”
“Fucking?”
Tanner’s neck and face went hot. “Umm …” Fuck! Sebastian was the last person he’d expected to figure it out.
“Okayyy … that’s a yes.” Sebastian laughed. “Got it.”
Tanner glanced around the pub. “Shit, don’t tell Luke. He’ll fucking kill me.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” Sebastian winked.
“Thanks. I mean, it’s sort of been a thing since, um, Juniors, honestly.”
Sebastian lifted his eyebrows. “Really? The whole time?”
“No! God no. Just here and there. I gave Leif a blowjob when we were, like … sixteen and then we didn’t screw again until the summer skills camp last year in Evanston. And then we kinda hooked up at the North Atlantic Tournament.”
“Ohh,” Sebastian said. “But you hate him, right?”
Tanner made a face because he already hated the words that were about to come out of his mouth. “Ugh, totally. He’s a stuck-up prick who gets on my nerves. But he’s hot, you know?”
“I do know all about that,” Sebastian said.
“Yeah, but the thing with me and Leif, it’s not like you guys.” Tanner shrugged. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
It only meant everything to Tanner.
“Didn’t mean anything for Luke and me either. Until it did.”
Tanner shuddered. “Trust me, there’s no way in hell I’m falling in love with that ice princess.”
But his heart said otherwise.
“Mmm,” Sebastian gave him a look. “Well, good luck with that.”
Unfortunately, despite Tanner’s best efforts, he got dragged into dancing again.
He’d finished his water, gone to pee, and was ready to head out the door when Jesse grabbed his hand. “Dude, it’s our song!”
“Our song?” Tanner said blankly. He listened to the music. “Oh! Our song!”
He and Jesse had hooked up for the first time at an AHL All-Star weekend and had been friends ever since. They’d met at a bar and danced together, and this was the song that had been playing then.
Tanner let himself be dragged onto the dance floor, so happy he could burst.
He was gonna see Leif soon and he was dancing with his friends, and everything was so fucking good!
It wasn’t long before the songs switched to something new and he tried to edge his way through the crowd but then Jesse and Kady were dancing up to him, bumping butts while Connor and Mandy and Jake and Lauren watched.
Oh, he fucking loved this team so much! They were so fucking queer and poly and …
He caught a glimpse of Declan O’Shea in the crowd, smiling at them all and it made it even better. There Declan was in a picture on the wall, hoisting the Cup all those years ago and now it was Tanner and Jesse and Connor’s turn to do it.
Tanner threw himself back into dancing. Just one more song and he’d go to Leif and he was laughing as someone pressed another shot into his hand and loved everyone right now. Every single fucking one of them!
When the song was over, he pushed through the crowd and ran straight into Erik Wyatt—who looked like he’d seen a ghost.