Chapter 1 #3
Love, family, and connection—those were the only things that had ever truly mattered to him.
He enjoyed playing baseball. He was good at it, or at least he had been.
The only reason he was upset about his career coming to an end was that he had nothing to show for it.
Most of the other guys his age in the league had families, wives, and kids.
Their server walked past him, and Niko motioned to her. Her eyes lit up with recognition when she saw him. “Hi.”
He quickly scanned down to her name tag. “Hi Keily, I’m Niko—”
“I know who you are,” she interrupted him.
“Oh okay, well can you do me a favor? I’d like to get that table’s tab.” Niko tilted his head to the corner as inconspicuously as possible.
She looked over her shoulder.
“The older couple in the corner,” he clarified. She nodded and turned back to him. “Whatever they’re having, but please don’t tell them it’s me taking care of it.”
“That’s so sweet for their anniversary,” she commented, as if he knew that it was.
“Is it their anniversary?” Niko asked.
“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “Yes, I thought that’s why you…”
“No, they just…reminded me of…” Niko didn’t know how to say they reminded him of what he wanted to have in the future without sounding creepy. “…someone. My grandparents.”
“Aww,” the server placed her hand to her chest. “That’s so sweet.
Well, it’s their sixtieth wedding anniversary.
Their grandkids saved up and are sending them to Hawaii, first class.
They wanted to go for their honeymoon, but he got drafted and had to go to basic training.
Then life happened, and they’ve never gone. ”
“Did they order champagne?” Niko asked.
“They did.” She nodded. “Two glasses of Korbel.”
He knew why she was telling him that, because that was the most inexpensive champagne. “Give them a bottle of Dom Perignon.”
“They were also eyeing the lobster medallions and brie tarts, but they went with the cheese board and stuffed mushrooms.”
“Order it all, and throw in some desserts. Seriously, if they want the entire menu, give it to them.”
Keily grinned. “Will do.”
She put the revised order in, and Niko turned and faced the large mirror behind the bar so he could witness their reactions to the champagne being delivered without being obvious.
As Keily approached the table, the gentleman’s face was filled with confusion. He lifted his hand, refusing the champagne, clearly letting her know there’d been a mistake.
Despite Keily’s back facing Niko, he guessed she was conveying his message that their tab had been picked up by someone. Both the man and woman appeared truly flabbergasted. They scanned the room of about twenty people scattered in roughly eight groupings.
The man asked Keily something, but the server shook her head, most likely refusing to reveal Niko’s identity.
As Keily was popping the champagne and pouring the glasses, a runner came out from the kitchen with their lobster medallions, brie tarts, stuffed mushrooms, and cheese board.
The woman gasped and covered her mouth. The man appeared uneasy and continued to look around the room.
Once Keily and the food runner returned to their duties, leaving the couple alone, the woman leaned across the table and cupped the man’s cheeks in her hands, forcing him to look at her.
Niko couldn’t hear what she was saying, but the smile on her face gave him a warm, soothing, comforting, yet firm and resolute feeling.
After a few seconds of a stare-off, the man sighed, pulled her palm from his cheek, then kissed her knuckles before the couple went on to enjoy the meal thoroughly, laughing and talking nonstop.
Sixty years married, and Niko could tell that they were best friends. That was all he ever wanted. A wife. A family. A best friend who he was madly in love with and wanted to rip her clothes off every time he saw her, to grow old beside, raise kids, and then spoil the hell out of grandbabies.
Did his behavior reflect his deepest desire?
No. In fact, his behavior did everything to sabotage any chance of that ever happening.
He chose to spend time with women who he knew he would never have any sort of a future with.
His only serious relationship to date was the textbook definition of a toxic cycle.
He and Gianna would get together and be amazing for three to six months, then one of them would light a match and burn the shit down, every single time. Neither was innocent, they both did wrong. She was the only woman he’d ever cared about.
Besides G, everyone else was just a distraction to fill lonely nights.
He never connected with people on an emotional level.
How could he? You’d have to invest time and be vulnerable and real with someone.
That didn’t happen when you bounced from one city to the next, hopping in a different bed in each one.
Logically, he knew that. He just didn’t know why it was happening or how to stop it.
But if there was ever a time to figure it the fuck out, now was it.
For the next five weeks, he would be in Hope Falls, where his baby sister now lived, and his twin brother, AJ, had rented an Airbnb until after the new year. It was the first time since they were teenagers that the siblings would be together for more than a weekend.
This couldn’t have come at a better time.
Part of why he’d been so fucked in the head was how disconnected he’d felt.
Maybe it was because Niko was born a twin, but ever since college, ever since he’d stopped living with his family, he’d felt so un-anchored.
Untethered. Not himself. His team was amazing.
They were like his brothers, but family was family. It was different.
During the next five weeks, Niko planned on getting real with himself, reconnecting with his family, and maybe, just maybe, figuring out how he could become a man worth the love he’d always wanted but knew he never deserved.