Chapter 3
Niko’s fingers opened and then closed as he flexed them around the steering wheel. His plane had been delayed for five hours at LAX for weather, which was probably for the best. He’d taken a nap and felt much better after waking up.
He’d had to get changed for the wedding in the air, because as soon as he landed at RNO, he’d barely had time to grab his rental and head straight to Hope Falls. He couldn’t be late for Yaya’s wedding. He was walking her down the aisle.
Niko pulled up to his brother’s Airbnb. He’d made quite a few trips to Hope Falls lately.
His sister got married about a month ago.
A couple months before that was his mom’s wedding, and today is his grandma’s.
Thankfully, AJ had no plans on getting married anytime soon.
As far as Niko knew, his brother AJ hadn’t even had a serious relationship in his life yet.
Once AJ settled down, Niko would really feel like shit.
Not that he wasn’t happy for his family, he was.
It was just that he was… he didn’t even know what he was or who he was. He just needed to feel connected again.
Thankfully, he had five weeks. Five weeks of living with his brother.
Five weeks of hanging out with his sister, who was married to Liam, who they’d grown up with.
Niko had always thought of him as an older brother, now he legally held the title.
Five weeks to hang out with Yaya and eat her home cooking.
Yaya used to have books Niko would read called “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” That’s what he felt like the next five weeks were going to be: the real-life version of “Chicken Soup for His Soul.”
Niko parked and grabbed his bags from the back of the SUV. When he walked up onto the porch, he entered the code AJ had texted him and walked inside.
Before he’d even shut the door, his brother appeared from the hallway. When he saw Niko, AJ’s face dropped in obvious disappointment.
“Hey,” Niko greeted him, surprised by the emotion he was seeing broadcast on his twin’s face. He was always so hard to read, so mysterious, an enigma. But not now. He could feel the hurt and heartache radiating off of him.
“We have to go.” AJ spoke in a clipped tone, clearly attempting to mask his pain.
“Holy shit!” Niko’s eyes widened. “Who is she?”
AJ ignored his brother’s question. He stepped over the bags he’d dropped, then waited for Niko to follow him outside before closing the door.
Niko stared at the back of his brother’s head.
“I have never seen you—no scratch that—anyone look so disappointed to see me before,” Niko teased AJ as he locked the deadbolt.
His brother walked past him to the driveway, where Niko’s rental was parked behind AJ’s SUV.
“You thought I was a woman. Who is it? Is it the neighbor? Liam’s baby sister?
The one who had a panic attack about her house? ”
“Poppy,” AJ’s voice sounded raw, pained, tortured.
Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.
“It is her.” A slow smile spread across Niko’s face before he shook his head. “Damn, bro. How bad did you fuck up?”
He was half-joking. AJ would never fuck up. He was perfect.
“You blocked me in. You have to drive.”
Niko hit the fob, and they both climbed into the blacked-out Lincoln Navigator.
He started the ignition and slowly backed out of the driveway.
As he did, he saw that AJ looked like he wanted to throw up.
His brother was seriously hurting, and despite Niko liking to fuck around, he wasn’t actually a dick, contrary to popular belief.
Had AJ really messed up? If he had, it wasn’t on purpose.
AJ being on the spectrum meant he didn’t relate to people the same way other people did.
Maybe he’d inadvertently done something.
“I was just fucking around, you know that. Whatever it is, we can fix it. You can fix it.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.” If there was one category Niko knew better than his genius brother, it was women. He was sure that he could fix whatever the problem was.
“No, you don’t.”
“You are the best man I know. You would never do anything to hurt someone intentionally. Whatever she’s upset about, I’m sure once you explain yourse—”
“She’s pregnant,” AJ blurted out.
Niko turned to AJ, thinking that it had to be some kind of prank or bad joke. When he saw the anguish in his eyes, he knew it was not. Fuck.
He turned his attention back to the road and clarified, “And it’s yours?”
“Yes,” AJ confirmed.
“What are you going to do?” Niko questioned.
“What do you mean?” His brother sounded genuinely confused by Niko’s question.
“I mean, is she keeping it? Are you going to be involved?”
“Yes, and I want to be.”
“What does that mean?” Niko asked.
“No one knows I’m the father.”
Niko turned to AJ, hoping that he heard him wrong. “You don’t want her to tell people you’re the baby daddy? That’s fucked up.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But no one knows?” he clarified.
“No. No one knows.”
“Did you just find out?”
“No.”
“When did you find out?”
“The night I took Poppy to the emergency room.”
Niko did a double take at him as all the air whooshed from his lungs. He felt like his brother had just socked him in his stomach. “You mean after Liam and Frankie’s wedding?”
“Yes.”
His chest felt tight, and it was making it difficult for him to breathe. This was his twin brother, who found out a girl was pregnant and didn’t even give a shit enough to tell him?
“So when we all went to look at her house the next day, you knew?”
“Yes.”
“You knew you were going to be a dad, and you didn’t tell me?” He had to hear himself say the exact set of circumstances to know that was what his brother had done.
“Poppy has pre-existing conditions. She’d been told her chances of getting pregnant were less than one percent, and it makes her pregnancy high risk. She didn’t want anyone to know in case the worst happened.”
Niko just tried to breathe. He took in the information he’d just been given. As butt hurt as he was, the only thing that actually mattered was that the baby and Poppy were going to be okay. It wasn’t about him or his feelings.
"But she’s okay?” Niko asked. “The baby is okay?”
“Yes. We heard the heartbeat at the twelve-week checkup.”
The heartbeat. His brother was going to have a baby. “Does anyone else know? Frankie? Yaya? Mom?”
He nodded. “She told everyone on Thanksgiving, but she didn’t say who the father was.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
“You didn’t ask her?”
“No.”
“Why not?” Niko repeated, trying to mask the frustration in his voice. Getting information from AJ was worse than pulling teeth, which had to do with his brain chemistry and nothing to do with him, but still it was hard to deal with, especially for someone with a short fuse.
“She didn’t get to tell everyone the way she’d planned.
Her mom asked her loudly at dinner because she wouldn’t take a drink, and everyone overheard.
It was awkward. I was going to ask her on the way home, but her mom had been drinking so she drove her home instead of riding with me.
Every day since, someone has been at her house, so I haven’t had a chance to speak to her alone. She’s been different. Distant.”
“Are you sure it’s her who’s been distant? Maybe she doesn’t know how you feel? Have you told her? Have you talked about it?”
As they pulled to a four way stop, AJ picked up his phone and handed it to his brother. Niko saw it was AJ and Poppy’s text thread.
Niko scrolled through all the messages that AJ had sent her. All the articles, spreadsheets, cribs, strollers, bassinets, etc., then handed the device back.
“Okay, well, that definitely shows that you want to be supportive, but have you actually talked about it?”
“No.”
Niko was trying to come up with the right advice to give his brother when AJ asked him, “Why is Gianna here?”
“What?” Niko turned his head to AJ. “She’s not.”
“Yes. She is.” AJ pointed to the woman heading into Brewed Awakenings Coffee Shop, her back now to them.
As if she sensed their gaze at that exact moment, the auburn-haired woman glanced over her shoulder, giving them a full view of her face, which was perfectly spotlighted by a ray of sunshine as if God himself was her lighting tech.
“What the fuck?” Niko cursed.
“Is she here for you?” AJ asked.
Niko and Gianna had been on and off again since their freshman year of college. They’d spent a good decade in a toxic cycle, but since turning twenty-eight, he hadn’t entertained it. He’d spent the past four years engaging in even more self-sabotaging behavior, if you could believe that.
“Fuck no. She’s probably just here on vacation.
” Niko shook his head, dismissing his ex’s sudden appearance in their grandparent’s hometown as they drove past the local coffee shop and turned the subject back to AJ’s situation.
“I know that you two crazy kids didn’t really date, but did you guys talk about wanting kids before you knocked her up? ”
“Yes.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her I never wanted to have children.”
“You did?” Niko cringed at his brother’s bluntness.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t.”
“Fuck me,” Niko whispered under his breath as he ran his hands through his hair. “Has that changed?”
“No,” AJ stated calmly.
Niko pulled over to the side of the road and turned to his brother. “So you don’t want to be involved in the baby’s life?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So you do want to be involved in the baby’s life?”
“Yes.”
“But you just said you don’t want kids.”
“I don’t.”
These were the times Niko wanted to scream in frustration, yet his brother was the picture of calm.
This is one of those times. “AJ, if I’m confused, and I’m your brother who has known you your entire life—literally, we were conceived at the same exact time—I can’t imagine how this poor woman who has only known you a few months must feel.
” Niko shook his head and spoke slowly, emphasizing each word. “Do you know what you want?”
“Yes,” AJ responded quickly and firmly.
“Then tell her. Tell her what you want for your life, for her life, and for the baby’s life. And do it today. Do not make that girl have to go to bed one more night questioning what is going on in your head.”
AJ nodded, and Niko pulled away from the curb.
Niko let go of the steering wheel for two seconds, lifted his hands in frustration as he asked the universe at large, “And what the fuck is Gianna doing here?!”