Chapter Thirty-Eight Ella
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Ella
We’ve finally made it to Daytona, Florida, and today is the first day of competitions.
The salty ocean breeze tickles my face as I stand on the balcony of my hotel room, watching the waves crash against the shore.
It’s hard to believe that all our hard work and focus has come down to these next few days.
Ten months of training with Whitland’s team has led me here. It’s an odd feeling—accomplishment, pride, but also a grating uncertainty.
Things are still off between Hudson and me.
We’ve been spending less alone time together, cooling our connection for the time being.
Since I found that letter, it’s like there’s this invisible wall we’ve put up between us.
The sort of tension that refuses to dissolve no matter how many pep talks I give myself.
It’s frustrating, though. We agreed to be open with each other, to not hold back our feelings, and then the first chance he gets, Hudson hides something so monumental. He kept me in the dark about his future, about something that would change everything for us. I’m angry. Really angry.
I’ve tried to explain away the hurt. To remind myself that he’s used to making decisions alone, and that hiding the letter isn’t as significant as it seemed in the moment.
That he doesn’t require my input or opinion on his future in the first place, though it might have been nice for him to seek it.
Though I’ve been wanting—hoping for—us to stop pretending that we could ever just let go.
And sure, it would have been nice for him to truly consider Oxford for both of our sakes.
If it wasn’t a viable option, if it wasn’t on his mind, then he wouldn’t have applied in the first place.
He wanted it. I wanted it, though I never would’ve pressured him to do it just for me.
A knock on the door interrupts my thoughts.
It must be Gabi, back from breakfast without her room key.
I swing the door open with a half-smile, ready to tease her about her forgetfulness.
Instead, I’m met with the sight of two familiar faces.
Molly and Olivia stand there, their grins wide, eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Surprise!” they shout in unison, pulling me into a group hug before I can even fully process their arrival. Laughter fills the room, a comforting echo of home that I’ve missed more than I realized.
“What are you two doing here?!” I manage to ask, my voice muffled against Olivia’s shoulder.
“How could we miss this moment? We’re so unbelievably proud of you,” Molly says, standing back slightly but keeping an arm looped around me. “And it’s Daytona , Ella.”
“When did you get here?”
“Late last night,” she tells me. “But we wanted to make sure you got your beauty rest, and we’ll be here for a couple of days after the competition ends.”
We finally break apart. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away quickly. “You didn’t have to travel all this way just for me.”
“Are you kidding?” Olivia scoffs, nudging my arm playfully. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world. Plus, we need some sunshine after the awful winter we’ve had.”
I laugh. “Well, you’ve picked the perfect place.”
Molly’s expression shifts slightly, enthusiasm dimming. “We were a bit surprised, though, to, um, to have found a certain someone lingering in the lobby?”
My brow crinkles. “Who do you mean?”
“Did you invite Jamie here?” she asks.
My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. “ Jamie? ” I echo. “Of course I didn’t invite him. We—we haven’t spoken in months. Not since before Christmas.”
Her eyes narrow with suspicion. “Well, he’s here. We saw the prick just now as we were checking in.”
I gulp. “You’re kidding.”
Olivia shakes her head. “Unfortunately not. He’s down there, all dark blond hair and that smirk we love to hate. You didn’t know anything about this?”
“Absolutely not,” I insist, and a wave of dizziness hits me all at once.
There’s another knock on the door. The three of us exchange glances, and my heart hammers in my chest. Olivia shrinks back, muttering something about déjà vu, while Molly squares her shoulders, preparing for confrontation.
I swing the door open, and there he stands—Jamie, with that infuriatingly familiar grin plastered across his face. His hair falls messily over his forehead, and the sight of him here makes me a little sick.
“Ella,” he says, stepping forward as if to hug me. “Surprise.”
I step back instinctively, blocking him with an arm. “I don’t even want to know what you think you’re doing here.”
His smile falters, his eyes clouding with the hint of hurt. “Can’t a guy come and support his ex-girlfriend at one of the biggest competitions of her life?”
I fold my arms across my chest, trying to hide the shaking in my hands. “Not when that guy is you.”
He chuckles, though there’s a nervous edge to it. “I didn’t come here to cause trouble. I came because … well, I just couldn’t imagine not being here for you. After everything.”
Molly, protective as ever, steps forward. “I think it’s time for you to leave, don’t you? Ella doesn’t need any distractions right now.”
Jamie looks at her, a flicker of defiance in his eyes. “I’m not here to distract her. I just want to talk.”
I sigh and glance at my friends. “Guys, it’s okay. I can handle this. Just give us a few minutes?”
Olivia bites her lip, clearly hesitating, but Molly finally nods. “We’ll be downstairs at the bar. Shout if you need us, alright?”
They reluctantly make their way out of the room, shooting warning glances at Jamie as they pass. The door clicks shut behind them, leaving an uncomfortable silence hanging between Jamie and me.
I take a deep breath and nod toward the small table near the window. “You’ve got ten minutes. Then I want you gone.”
He saunters over and sits down at one of the two chairs, leaning back with an air of casual confidence that makes my skin crawl. I remain standing, arms still crossed.
“Ella, you have every reason to hate me. I’ve made mistakes, but …” He pauses, his gaze locking onto me with an intensity that makes it hard to look away. “I never stopped caring about you.”
“You flew all the way to Florida for this same old speech?”
His eyes flicker with frustration. “No, I flew here because I realized losing you was the biggest mistake of my life. I know I can’t undo the past, but I want to make things right.”
I laugh, a sharp, bitter sound that surprises even me. “That’s not happening.”
“I’ve kept all our original summer plans,” he says, pressing on with his speech as if he hasn’t heard me. “Booked us new reservations, even. I thought—well, I hoped—we could still go on our travels. Together.”
His eyes plead with me, but I can see through the desperation. Jamie has always been good at grand gestures that mean nothing. He’s the kind of man who would buy you a present just to say he did, with no care for what you truly wanted.
“Jamie, listen to me, it’s over. Forever.
No matter how many times you say you miss me.
No matter how many times you show up somewhere unannounced and uninvited, it will always be over.
All I can tell you now is that I truly wish you the best. I hope, someday, you get everything you ever wanted, and that it will be enough for you. ”
His face falls, and for a moment I glimpse the boy I fell in love with—vulnerable and somewhat lost. But, I remind myself, that boy is long gone, replaced by a man I no longer want to know.
“Els …” His voice cracks, and I almost feel sorry for him. Almost, but not quite.
“Please just go,” I say. “There’s nothing for you here.”
He rises slowly, his shoulders slumped. “If that’s what you really want,” he mutters, walking towards the door. He hesitates at the threshold, looking back as if hoping I’ll change my mind. I don’t.
The door clicks shut, and so does that chapter of my life with Jamie—forever. What a weight lifted off my shoulders. No more lingering ties, no more what-ifs. Just freedom.
Our time slot for partner stunts is only an hour away, and Hudson is nowhere to be found.
I haven’t seen him since we arrived. We had a team meeting, he checked into his room with Malik, and then he disappeared for the rest of the night.
The other pairs are already gathering in the prep area, stretching, and going over last-minute routines.
My nerves are frayed, not just from the impending performance but also from the emotional whiplash of the last week.
I scan the crowd, my eyes darting from one familiar face to another, but Hudson’s dark hair and steady presence are noticeably absent. Claire catches my eye, her fierce gaze softening momentarily. She strides over to me, curls bouncing with each step.
“Hey,” she says, casual and cool.
I force a smile. “Hey, Claire.”
“Looking for Fox?” she asks, her tone surprisingly gentle.
“Yeah, have you seen him?”
She shakes her head. “Not since earlier this morning. I saw him at breakfast with Malik. But don’t worry. He’ll show. He’s not the type to bail last minute, especially not on you.”
“Thank you,” I say, appreciating her support. Claire and I haven’t always seen eye to eye, but at this moment it’s like a silent truce has been called.
“And listen, I want you to know that I don’t … well, hate you or anything. In fact, I respect you. I think you’re an incredible cheerleader. You have a natural, raw talent, and it kind of pisses me off.”
Laughter bursts out of me. “Sorry?”
She shrugs. “I assumed you were a bit overprivileged and under-skilled. A know-it-all from across the pond. But you’re good. Admittedly, it’s difficult to go from being the best to being merely one of the best.”
“Wow, I—uh, I’m not even sure what to say to that.”
“No need to say anything,” she says. “Just wanted you to know. Good luck out there today.”
“Thanks, Claire. Good luck to you and Evan.”
She gives me a firm nod before walking away. I blow out a heated breath and turn my attention back to the crowd, hoping Hudson will materialize out of thin air. Minutes tick by as I pace the edge of the prep area. Just as I’m about to expel my breakfast, a familiar voice calls out behind me.
“ Ella. ”
I spin around and there’s Hudson, standing along the edge with a conflicted look in his eyes. To say I’m relieved would be an understatement. I’m overwhelmed, flooded with all sorts of confusing emotions.
Even from a distance, I can see the tension in his posture, the clenched jaw, and the slight twitch in his fingers. He slowly approaches, the crowd fading into the background.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he says, but his eyes betray him. “We’re on in thirty. We can talk after.”
I tug on his hand. “Just tell me.”
“I saw your ex this morning. He had some choice words for me. A lot to say about you, about us. He certainly doesn’t think I’m good enough for you, that’s for damn sure.”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” I cover my face, wincing as I peer out at him from between the gaps in my fingers. “I assumed he would’ve left already.”
“So, you saw him too, then?”
“Well, yes, but—”
“I’m begging you to save this conversation until after we perform. If you break my heart right now, I’m not gonna be able to go out there. Let me just have this, alright?”
“I can promise you that I’m not—”
“Please, Ella?” He’s almost pleading now, and it slices through me like a blade.
I nod, swallowing hard. “Alright. We’ll talk after.”
He searches my eyes before turning away, his fingers lingering on mine.
Five minutes of silence pass before we step out onto the mat together, with Luke as our spotter.
The lights blaze down on us, and the roar of the crowd fills my ears.
Hudson’s hand tightens around mine briefly before he lets go, and we take our starting positions.
The music starts, and all I can do is breathe and move.
We work through the routine, muscle memory taking over, pushing all extraneous thoughts aside.
Hudson’s grips are perfect, his catches steady, and for those few precious minutes we move as one—coordinated and unstoppable.
My body responds to his every cue, and all the tension and confusion from the last week melt away.
We launch into the final stunt, a front one and a half to cupie that we’ve nailed a hundred times over. We land it, not a single bobble. Five flawless stunts, four clean transitions, and we’ve done it. It’s not the best we’ve ever performed together, but it was one hell of a routine.
I dismount, and then I jump into Hudson’s arms, legs wrapping around his waist as he spins me. The most perfect feeling in the world.
His face breaks into a genuine smile, the kind that reaches his eyes, making them sparkle under the harsh Florida sun. It’s the smile I fell for months ago, and seeing it now, with all our uncertainties set aside, makes my stomach do somersaults.
“You did it,” he whispers in my ear before setting me down.
“ We did it,” I correct.
We leave the stage, and I barely have time to catch my breath before the team rushes towards us, engulfing us in a whirlwind of hugs and shouts.
Ash claps me on the back, his smile wide. “You two were amazing! That last cupie? Perfection!”
“You think?”
“I probably could have done it better,” he teases. “But you guys held your own.”
I laugh and playfully shove him. “Oh, I don’t doubt it.”
Hudson turns to me, his smile fading just slightly as reality crashes back in.
We have a lot to talk about, but this isn’t the time or place, and we both know it.
His fingers brush against the small of my back, a brief reassurance before he steps away.
Then he’s gone, swallowed up by the rest of the squad.
I stand there for a moment, feeling the loss of his presence keenly, but then Molly and Olivia are beside me, their arms around my shoulders, pulling me back into the present.
“Oh my God, Ella! You were incredible!” Molly gushes. “I can’t believe how much you’ve improved this year. The Sirens won’t know what to do with you.”
I give a hollow laugh. “That’s right.”
The truth is, I haven’t even thought about the Sirens once. My old squad, my former teammates, they’re the least of my concerns. But my future with Hudson? That’s an unfinished sentence I desperately need to complete.