Chapter 34 #2
She clung to me through it, her arms wrapped around my shoulders, legs around my hips, gasping and moaning and whispering words of praise.
Afterward, I collapsed onto her, exhausted and shaking as I buried my head in her neck and just breathed her in.
She scratched her nails down my back, and I shivered, wrapping my arms around her and rolling us sideways so I didn’t crush her, still buried deep, my dick twitching with aftershocks of the orgasm.
“You know the most annoying part of all of this?” she said, like she was picking up the thread of a conversation we’d been having.
I nuzzled my nose against that spot behind her ear. “No, what?”
“If you’d been less of a dick, we could have been doing this the entire time instead.”
My shoulders shook. Leave it to Stella to make me laugh right after making me come so hard I saw God.
■ ■ ■
Somehow, we found the strength to get back in the shower together. The urge to immediately fall into a deep, dreamless sleep after what we’d just done was strong, but we were both covered in sweat and each other’s cum, and the thought of waking up gross and sticky was enough to convince us.
“You did so good,” Stella said, lifting the washcloth to my back while I stood beneath the water.
I grinned. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you knew how many times I almost blew inside you before you told me I could.”
She slapped my ass, hard enough that it would probably leave a mark, and there went my dick again, starting to stir back to life. I hung my head, staring down at it like, Really? What are you planning to do? There is nothing left in the tank, bro.
Stella had milked me dry. Like, my head was light, legs were weak, I was so dehydrated I felt hungover.
She poked my ass next, one fingernail digging right into the meat of a cheek before she suddenly pulled back. Her hand flattened over it. Squeezed.
“Flex,” she said, and I did as I was asked. “Yup. I want to bite it.”
“An ass man, huh?”
“Confirmed.” She gave me another squeeze. “Fuck, Tyler. I want to bite it and then tattoo my teeth marks onto you.”
My dick jerked at the thought. “Yes.”
Her forehead hit my back, and her voice came out breathy. “Are you sure?”
“God yes. I’ll be hard the whole time you do it.”
She made a pained sound. “Don’t turn me on. I can’t come again. Three times can’t be good with a head wound, and I’m pretty sure a fourth might kill me.”
Oh, so she had come again when I had.
“Also,” she said, palming both my ass cheeks and spreading them slightly. “I feel like we need to lay down more ground rules. First question: What are your thoughts on pegging?”
I chuckled and turned around, and the sight of her staring up at me with that wicked grin, even while visibly exhausted and injured punched into my heart. I hauled her into my arms, careful with her like I should have been this entire time. “Shit, Stella.”
“Is that a no to pegging, or a yes?” she muttered into my wet chest. “This reaction is confusing.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes?”
“No, I mean, did I just hurt you? Fuck, why am I always so goddamn selfish?”
She yanked backward. “Hey, stop.”
The look on her face brooked no argument, so I held my tongue.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Yes, banged up, absolutely dead on my feet, but you and I both needed that, Tyler, and I was in control the entire time. If I didn’t think I could handle it, I would have stopped us.”
I eyed her, unsure.
She grabbed my face and pulled me down to her level. “Did you hear me, yes or no?”
“Yes.”
She didn’t let me go, but her grip softened. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “No. I thought you’d died, and it made me realize that I’ve spent my entire life focused on the wrong thing, believing that if I finally got revenge for what happened to me and my mom, it would fix me.” I put a hand on my chest. “Fix whatever is broken inside here.”
Her expression fell. “You’re not broken.”
It was my turn to pull out of her hold. “I am. And I know that words aren’t enough to make up for everything, but I am so fucking sorry, Stella. I want you to know, out of all the horrible shit I’ve done and had planned to do, treating you the way I did was the worst. My rock bottom.”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. You’ve been different since I regained consciousness. Borderline tolerable.”
I shook my head. “Why are you here with me?”
“Um, you kidnapped me, pyscho? Did you hit your head, too?” She grinned. “Or did I sex you stupid?”
“You absolutely did, but I mean, why haven’t you called the cops and told them where we are?”
“Because I don’t think you should go to jail. I think you should go to therapy.”
“My best friend has been saying that for years,” I admitted.
“You should listen to him. You have a lot of anger, and before you get mad, I’m not saying it’s not justified, but, like, holy shit, what you learned today is beyond fucked up, and I think it will take a professional to help you unpack it all.”
I dragged a hand over my face. “You probably have a point.” In my head, I relived that whole ugly scene with my aunt. “What if Jenny was lying?”
“You’re the expert on body language. Do you think she was?”
I sighed. “No.”
“Richard might still have been an asshole. My dad has always said to listen to both sides of a story because the truth is usually somewhere in the middle. What if Richard was scared and did push your mother away when she told him she was pregnant? And then once she was gone, he came to his senses and tried to track her down, but by then it was too late, and the trust was broken?”
“We’ll never know,” I said. “Because my mother is dead, so I can never ask her why she lied to me.”
Stella wrapped her arms around my waist. “I’m so sorry. She must have thought she was doing the right thing.”
“And yet, what was it you and Jenny both said? That I turned out even worse than the people she was trying to protect me from?”
Stella squeezed me tighter. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You weren’t wrong. I’ve been a bastard since the day the county coroner handed me Mom’s ashes.”
She didn’t bother arguing with me. We both knew I was right.
“I’m still sorry,” she said.
“You really shouldn’t be, Stella,” I told her.
“Because you were right. I was planning to use those employees to bring Richard down. Among other people I spoke to whenever your back was turned. I was going to blackmail them just like I did you, have them dig up all the dirt they could find, or plant it if there was none. And then I was going to really lean on them, force them to help me dismantle the company one brick at a time.”
“How did you know they’d even go along with it?” Stella asked.
“Because of what I told you in the tunnels. Their secrets are dark enough that I was betting they’d do anything to keep them hidden. That if it was between jail and following my orders, they’d choose me every time. Especially because I didn’t plan to ask too much of any one person.”
“Death by a thousand paper cuts,” Stella said in perfect understanding.
“Yes. At first, your parents were included in that plan, but after all our time spent together, and with them, I changed my mind. And I’m not telling you this to soften you toward me; they still would have gotten caught in the crossfire, probably lost a ton of money.
But Richard was going to bear the brunt of the blame, and I wasn’t going to stop until he lost everything.
Not just financially. I wanted him as alone, destitute, and helpless as my mother had been. ”
Stella was quiet for a long time, but I took heart in the fact that she was still hugging me.
“You’re not going to do any of that now,” she said.
“No, I swear. And I know I’ve already said it, but I am so fucking sorry,” I told her, dropping a kiss on top of her head.
“I think what matters more than anything is how you move forward,” she said. “My debt is obviously forgiven.”
“Well, hang on now.”
She pinched my side. “And any other innocent people you targeted are cleared, too.”
“Oh, I wasn’t lying when I told you most of my clients either deserve to have me as a problem or can pay what they owe.
But, yeah, I’m done. The cops will be looking for my alter ego, so I need to lie low for a little while, which will hopefully give me time to sort out my shit and make amends for all the wrong I’ve done. ”
“But what about the wrong everyone else has done?” she said. “I would still love for Maddie and Feddy and all the other assholes I know to finally pay for their crimes.”
I shrugged. “Easy. I get my hacker best friend to anonymously leak everything I’ve learned about them to the press.
This city is already furious with the wealthy for hiding Bradley Bluhm for so long.
They’re hungry for more blood, and because of that, it’ll be impossible for people to sweep things under the rug or pay their way out of it this time. ”
“Devious. Let me know what I can do to help.”
“You still want to help?”
“Of course I do. But doing it your way feels a little too easy for me. We should find a way to make them suffer more.”
I pulled back to look down at her. “Who are you?”
She laughed, a small, evil little sound. “Stella, if you’re behaving. Ma’am, if you’re not.”
My dick twitched between us, giving away how much I liked that idea. “But I’m an asshole. Probably will be even after therapy. I’m moody, and I fucking hate most people.”
“So? Most people suck, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about me, but I’m not exactly the most pleasant person to be around.”
“Oh, come on, Sunshine,” I teased. “Now who’s underestimating themselves?”
“Tyler, I swear to God.”
“Sorry. I meant Snack Bitch.”
She growled, teeth parting like she was getting ready to bite me.
“I meant ma’am!” I amended.
“Oh, no.” Her eyes widened as she looked up at me. “That’s going to backfire.”
I grinned. “Like it when I call you ma’am, huh?”
She nodded. “Almost as much as the sound of you begging for it.”
I sobered. “So . . . that’s it? You’re just going to . . . forgive me?”
Her mouth dropped open on a big, loud laugh that echoed through the bathroom.
“Absolutely not. You are going to have to fucking grovel. And prove to me that you’re going to make some changes.
I’m not asking you to turn into a completely different person, but you can be so mean when you’re in a bad mood, and I refuse to put up with that ever again. ”
“You won’t have to,” I told her. “I promise. I’ll find someone to speak to. Maybe use my best friend’s therapist. God knows that woman can keep secrets.”
“And I’m not, like, saying we’re together or anything,” she continued. “I just . . . want to see if there’s anything here.”
“There is,” I said. “At least for me. I’ve been gone for you since that first kiss and was just trying to fight it.”
“I knew it,” she said, shaking her head. “You got hard every time we fought, didn’t you?”
I leaned down and nipped her shoulder. “Every fucking time.”
We got out of the shower when the water started to cool, slipping into bed naked because we were low on clothes.
“See you in an hour,” I said, setting an alarm.
“You aren’t really going to wake me up, are you?”
“You have a concussion.”
“A minor one. My head doesn’t even hurt that much anymore, and the hospital said we didn’t have to do this.”
“I’m not taking any chances,” I told her, turning her back to me and pulling her close beneath the covers.
“No,” she said, voice stern. “Bad, Tyler.”
I chuckled. “You being my dom doesn’t apply to your health and welfare.”
She grumbled but snuggled in, not bothering to fight me because she probably knew it was smart to be cautious.
I reached back to turn off the light, and with the blackout curtains blocking the setting sun, it felt like Stella and I were in our own little world.
“Why did you actually want to come here if you were so sure you were right?” she asked.
“You really are so much smarter than you look.”
She elbowed me.
I sighed. “Because a small part of me was second-guessing myself after meeting Richard. He . . . wasn’t what I was expecting.
I’ve hated him for so long that I’d built him up to be this monster in my head.
And then to meet him and have him act like a normal guy?
I think it drove me off the deep end. Every time we were around him, I paid attention, and I didn’t see any tells that he was lying about the things he said or putting on a front or hiding the fact that he was a secret sociopath. ”
I rested my head behind Stella’s on her pillow, dropping my voice.
“It’s why I was such a dick to you whenever he was in attendance.
Partly why I manipulated you into going back inside the night of the company party.
I had to see him one last time, had to look him in the face and silently laugh at him while I made introductions to the employees I planned to blackmail.
After that night, I was even more determined to take Richard down because I couldn’t be wrong about him.
I’d spent too long planning for it, too long working toward it, and I was so close to finally achieving my goal that I had to see it through to the end.
I was desperate because the small chance I might be wrong was too terrifying to face. ”
I pulled Stella closer, insanely grateful that she was alive and mostly okay. Even if this was the only time I ever got to hold her, it would be enough, just to know she was living and breathing in the same world that I was.
“I’m sorry for everything that’s happened,” I said. “Especially last night and today. I was crazed, and I didn’t snap out of it until Jenny hit you and I thought I might have gotten you killed. No wonder you hate me.”
“I hated you so hard,” she said, and my attention snagged on the past tense of that statement.
“Don’t you still?”
“Maybe a little. But I like you a little, too.”
“I don’t deserve another chance.”
“Neither did I,” she said. “Seven years ago. And yet my parents gave me one. Blake did. Runa. That accident was my life-changing moment, my chance to become someone different, someone better, someone new. Maybe this is that moment for you. You had a horrible childhood full of betrayal and loss and people turning their backs on you. Maybe you just need someone to be there when you need it most. Someone to give you a chance. It’s up to you what you do with it. ”
I dropped a kiss of thanks on the top of her head, because I didn’t want to make her any promises until she could trust me to keep them.
Instead, I promised myself that I wouldn’t squander this opportunity.
That I would do what it took to become a man worthy of Stella, but more importantly, worthy of me.
I’d spent my whole life living for other people, focused on how they’d wronged or crossed me.
It was time to start living for myself.