Chapter 4 Selene #2
“It’s incredible. You smell that in the air?
That’s all the excess testosterone,” Bailey jumped in, and we all laughed.
She was so into the tall, powerful athletes.
They left me cold, however, and not because I couldn’t appreciate a well-formed man, but because my mind was still stuck on someone who could have put them all to shame.
Neil had the kind of physique that was made to be admired, all the muscles perfectly proportioned on his six-three frame.
He was simply perfect.
“Hey, it’s Charlie’s Angels.” Ivan approached us with a red cup in one hand and his arms spread wide in a welcoming gesture.
Janel rolled her eyes as he snaked an arm around her shoulder and pulled her against his chest. “Sister, I must thank you properly for bringing these two treasures to my party,” he told her, glancing first at Bailey and then at me.
He looked me from top to bottom before inching closer with a cheeky grin that made a dimple appear on his right cheek.
“Captain,” I greeted him with a mock salute, and he cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Selene Anderson, what brings you to our humble celebration?” he asked drily.
“You sound like a doofus,” I scoffed, and he burst into laughter, immediately transforming back into his normal, low-key self. The same guy who gave me class recommendations and never missed a chance to mess up my bangs.
“Make yourself at home. If anyone gives you shit, let me know,” he finished hurriedly as some six-foot-plus maniac hooked an arm around him and dragged him over to the bar.
I tucked my hands into my coat pocket as my friends and I moved through the room.
I didn’t know most of the players, but I did recognize a lot of the students who were there.
“You want to get a drink?” Janel asked, pointing at the bar, and we followed her lead.
“Have you seen Tyler around anywhere?” Bailey whispered into my ear.
I automatically glanced around, searching for the guy’s distinctive head of curls. Tyler was a good-looking guy, but I’d never liked him. He struck me as conceited and self-absorbed. The few times I’d ever actually heard him open his mouth, it was exclusively to brag about his sexual performance.
It was just one of the many reasons I wasn’t into the trifling little boys who surrounded me at school.
I was attracted to strong, self-assured men.
Men who took what they wanted without worrying about getting approval from other people.
The kind of man who proved his manhood with his actions and didn’t need words.
Every time Neil and I were together, I felt like a child again, too inexperienced to fight with an unmanageable and devilishly complicated person. A girl, whose lack of experience was not enough to heal her inner wounds.
Deep down, I knew that Neil needed a stronger woman than me. Someone who could stand up to him and face down the beast that lived within him.
And whenever that awareness resurfaced, anguish shook my body.
“You’re thinking too much,” Janel said, handing me a strawberry vodka cocktail. I let out a little gasp; I’d just been staring blankly at the bar with no idea what was going on around me.
“Are you still thinking about Alyssa and what she told you?” Bailey added, taking small sips from her own cocktail.
“No. I’m fine,” I reassured them, sniffing the contents of my cup. I didn’t really like alcohol, but I wasn’t the teetotaler I used to be either. I decided I could probably use a distraction; maybe a drink would be a good place to start.
“Having fun?” Ivan appeared behind us not even five minutes after he’d been dragged away. His cheeks were a little flushed, and his green eyes looked brighter than I remembered.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t athletes supposed to avoid getting drunk?” I asked skeptically.
“I’m not drunk,” he said with the look of a wayward child who’d just heard something insulting.
“Of course, you’re not. And how many fingers am I holding up?” Bailey raised four fingers, and Ivan narrowed his eyes at her.
“Four. And knock it off, I’m perfectly sober,” he insisted before looking back at me with a strange sort of half-smile on his face.
“A couple friends of mine would like to meet you.” He jerked his chin back the way he’d come, and I leaned slightly to get a better look.
They were two of his basketball teammates.
Tall, strapping, and wearing sickly matching grins.
“Ivan… No, I’m not interested.” I shook my head and set my drink down on the bar. All of a sudden, I didn’t feel like drinking anymore.
“Oh, come on. I’ll be right there with you.
You know, it’s kind of an honor for us to have you here.
My friends noticed you back in freshman year, and this is the perfect opportunity for them to finally talk to you.
” He took my elbow gently, coaxing me to go along with him while my own friends watched, saying nothing.
I wove through the crowd with Ivan at my back until I made it to the couch where the two players in question had sat down next to some girls.
“Here she is. Fellas, meet Selene,” Ivan announced, his hand still resting on my arm.
I discreetly pulled away from his touch and registered the gazes of the two other players, which were gliding along my body.
They looked first at my chest before dipping down to my thighs highlighted by my tight skirt.
It was on the shorter side, but not so short that it should be provoking perverted thoughts in anyone who looked at me.
“Damn…you’re even prettier than I remembered,” one of the two guys noted. He was blond with deep hazel eyes. He looked wholesome enough, but I was very familiar with the reputation that athletes had on campus. “I mean, nice to meet you. I’m Cameron,” he added, with a little wave.
Then it was his friend’s turn.
“I’m Alexander, but you can call me Alex.
” The other boy had black hair and jet-black eyes to match.
I smiled politely at the two of them, and Ivan gestured for me to sit down with them all.
Instead of taking a spot next to one of the boys, however, I chose to perch on the armrest, away from everyone.
Ivan chuckled and flopped down next to me, passing a hand through his dark hair.
“So, Captain, have you told Selene about the kind of games we like to play here?” Cameron asked, giving Ivan an inscrutable look.
My forehead creased as I turned to look at the three girls who were also lounging around.
Each one of them was dressed to impress, and they looked at ease amongst the athletes.
They all watched me, however, like I was some new challenger they needed to chase out of their territory.
“Cam, what the fuck are you talking about?” Ivan answered, suddenly sounding annoyed.
“Doesn’t she know about how we entertain ourselves here at the Delta Psi house?” Alex continued, turning his attention to Ivan, who had begun to sprawl out comfortably on the sofa next to me.
“She’s my sister’s friend, you dick,” he snapped irritably, and it sounded like a warning.
“So?” Alex shot back.
“We were talking about power hour,” Cameron cut in, nudging Alex with his elbow. He was pretty transparent; no one believed they’d actually been referencing some banal drinking game.
“I’m familiar with power hour, but I don’t really drink.
Plus, that kind of thing is idiotic. Grow up,” I said in a burst of annoyance before standing up and preparing to walk away.
A smug chorus of “oooohs” came from behind me, but I ignored them.
That was exactly why I couldn’t stand student athletes.
They all thought their minor celebrity was enough to get any girl, and maybe that was true for a large part of the student body, but it wasn’t for me.
“Jackasses,” I muttered to myself as I moved through the throng of people.
I was well aware that they’d actually been trying to allude to some sex game, and I was happy Ivan had shut them down on my behalf, but I still felt extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing.
It was embarrassing even thinking about sharing that kind of intimacy with someone else.
How did Neil do it with all his women? I’d never be able to understand it. The way I was with him was unique, and even though I lost all my inhibitions with him, I couldn’t imagine letting someone else touch me like that.
I looked around for my friends and found Bailey flirting with Tyler beside one of the large picture windows, so I decided to concentrate on finding Janel, but she appeared to have vanished into thin air.
What the hell? Did she ditch me?
I snorted as I thought about what to do next.
There were too many people in the room and not enough air.
So I made my way outside and sat down on a wooden swing on the porch.
I huddled into my coat and tried to ignore the stares from the boys outside who looked at me like I was fresh meat to be devoured.
I heaved a sigh as I began absently tracing a shape on my thigh with one finger. A shell with a pearl inside.
“Every time you feel alone, draw a pearl inside a shell,” Neil had told me in one of the loveliest moments we’d shared. He’d drawn that same thing on my hip with a marker just after he’d allowed himself to climax inside me, unprotected. The first time he’d done that with anyone.
I bit my lip at the profane memories that ran through my mind: his sculpted body, the satiny amber skin that could make anyone dream of running their tongue all over it, and his stifled masculine moans—the ones I would have recognized anywhere.
And, most of all, his touch that can make me tremble from my fingertips to my toes…right down to my bones.
My Disaster wasn’t the kind of man to be easily forgotten. Even at a distance, he could knock me for a loop, could make me think the wickedest thoughts despite how erratic he was, despite the terrible things he could do.