Chapter 8 Selene #4
Eight o’clock came, and I was still in my underwear, lying on the sofa and staring up at the ceiling.
I hadn’t gotten dressed or put on any makeup. That jackass might have been making fun of me, pretending we were going out when we weren’t, so I had no intention of dressing up and becoming his punch line.
I wasn’t going to get all glammed up for him just to be ghosted.
“Damn it all to hell. Go out alone with those Krew degenerates!” I spit, knowing that he couldn’t have heard me, but I needed to ease some of the weight pressing down on my chest, and yelling at an imaginary Neil seemed to do the trick.
I sighed and rolled over into the fetal position. I was cold. I didn’t know how to turn on the heater or where to find blankets. I didn’t want to just steal them off the bed.
Despair welled up, and I heaved a defeated sigh.
Then my phone, which I had left on the glass coffee table, vibrated with a text alert.
It was from Neil. I’ll be there at nine o’clock.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Bite me, asshole, I tapped out furiously.
It wasn’t like me to be crude, but he deserved it.
Fairies must not swear, he answered after a couple of seconds.
“…must not?” I read, only getting more annoyed.
There he was—the insufferable tyrant.
He needed to take charge and not just in bed. Even in his daily life, he issued orders and demanded that everyone (me included) obey him.
You swear all the time, I wrote back irritably.
You don’t need to do what I do. Again, his answer came back almost immediately. I considered what he’d written: He didn’t want me to be like him; he wanted me to remain uncontaminated by his world. So why didn’t he just stay away from me?
I’m not ready. I don’t want to go out with your precious friends. I dug my heels in like a child.
Too bad for you. That means I get to fuck you…any way I want, he replied quickly.
I paled as I read the message. “Any way I want” meant just like all the other times: wild, overpowering, and passionate.
But I couldn’t let him get his hands on me again, not after he’d disappeared for hours without a word and not when my body was still sore from what had happened at my house.
Fine. We’ll go out, I wrote back in resignation.
I’d pick a night out over whatever crazy sex he was already planning in his warped head.
Then I remembered right before he left, when he’d told me to get rid of the boots and dress like a woman.
Okay, I’d oblige him.
I stalked into the room, more determined than ever, and pulled my two prettiest dresses out of my bag.
One was blue, knee-length, and quite simple; the other was flaming red and sexy as hell.
Of course I opted for the second one, determined that I was going to show him I too knew how to be attractive to men.
I wasn’t perfect, but people liked me. I’d had my share of admirers in the past, and some pretty cute ones, too.
Plus, although Mother Nature had been stingy with my breasts, she’d made up for it with my butt. So I was going to flaunt it.
I slipped the dress on with a cheeky little smile, careful not to wrinkle it, and then zipped it up in back…not without some difficulty. Then I went over to the room’s mirror to take a look at myself.
It was a long-sleeved dress, short and tight with a sensual boat neck. It wrapped perfectly around my delicate curves, and just as I’d expected, it really highlighted my backside.
Maybe it was a wee bit shorter than what I’d usually wear, but the occasion called for it.
“You wanted me to ditch the good girl? Well, here you go,” I told the invisible Neil with a surprising amount of decisiveness.
But my evil scheme was not yet complete.
I arranged my hair over my shoulders before applying my makeup.
I was usually the quintessential soap-and-water girl, but that night I coated my eyelashes with mascara and applied ruby red lipstick, a big departure from my usual pink gloss.
It made my blue eyes sparkle and my lips look more sensuous.
My face looked completely different; I even looked more mature.
Then it was just the finishing touches that remained. I pulled on a pair of sheer thigh-highs, followed by my pair of black high heels.
I slipped into them and wobbled slightly, taking a moment to get used to my new elevated height. Then I glanced in the mirror one more time to assess my completed work.
I was pleased with the result: I looked seductive yet elegant.
“Alright, Selene. You’re a woman.” Confident in myself, I went back into the living room to get my phone and check the time—it was almost nine.
I perched on the couch, one leg crossed over the other, and waited for my Disaster to come back.
Exacting as he was, I had no doubt that he would be right on time, and I liked the idea of seeing the shocked look on his face when he walked in and saw the new Selene.
I drummed my fingers nervously on the couch’s arm and waited.
My heart was beating like a wild thing in my chest, but I tried to ignore it.
Nerves weren’t going to derail my plans.
Then, right at nine o’clock, the lock clicked, and my whole body went on alert.
Neil came into the apartment wearing a black winter coat and a white sweater that popped against his amber skin, and I forgot how to breathe.
I held my breath as my heart pounded out of control.
Calm… I had to stay calm.
Neil approached me with his typical proud posture, a severe expression on his face. His soft forelock fell over his forehead, and his beard looked shorter than when he’d left. I knew he’d neatened it up for me, and he looked like a god.
He was overwhelmingly beautiful; you couldn’t find an aesthetic flaw on him, no matter how many character flaws he might have had.
Without so much as a hello or a single friendly word, he stopped just short of me and regarded me.
I stood up to give him a better view, proud as the tigress he sometimes compared me to.
From the little flares I saw in his golden eyes, I could tell he was neither pleased nor excited about my clothing.
In fact, he looked almost frantic, and my confidence slipped away in a most cowardly fashion.
I swallowed hard, and my legs began to tremble.
Neil continued to check me out, looking at me from top to bottom, wrinkling his brow. He looked irritated and ill-humored.
“You wanted a woman, right? And now you don’t like it?” I spoke first, my voice slashing derisively through the air even though I was still trembling. Neil didn’t move a muscle. He just stood there, studying me, refusing to give me a clue as to what he was thinking. Why didn’t he say anything?
I would have rather had him yell at me, to tell me he hated it; anything but that nerve-racking silence.
“Well?” I insisted, growing angry.
“You look like an enchanting fairy who somehow wound up wearing a slut’s dress,” he answered cynically.
I sucked in a breath and blushed violently, instantly uncomfortable.
Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to cry. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction, no matter how much his words had hurt me.
“But…” he continued as I stared resentfully at him.
If he’d been any closer to me, I would have slapped him.
“If your intent was to look hot, then yes, you’ve succeeded.
” He scrutinized me once again, and this time, I saw lust and excitement in his eyes along with the desire not to succumb to me, all of those feelings in conflict with one another.
“Is this you trying to fix things? Maybe with a compliment? It’s not going so hot if it is.” I shot him a glare full of ire, and he gave me a little half-smile in return.
“I’m just telling you the truth, Babygirl,” he said nonchalantly.
“Don’t call me that,” I warned.
“Why not? Are you mad?” He provoked me with a smile, well aware that I was enraged.
I hated it when he thought his charm was enough to pacify me or when he talked to me in that oh-so-delighted tone, smug over having hurt me.
Was it another one of his kinks, needing to treat women with such condescension?
Was this too about Kimberly? I feared that it was.
Neil was a man who, since his early childhood, had been inculcated with a very negative, distorted view of women as a whole.
“What are you trying to prove? Why did you even ask me to come to New York?” I demanded, disappointed.
Maybe this was all just a game for Neil.
I now knew about the trauma he’d experienced, but that didn’t excuse the constant disrespect he showed me.
Yes, I had promised to accept him and not to judge him, but I couldn’t allow him to keep treating me like a doormat.
“You’ll understand why tomorrow, not tonight,” he answered, growing gloomy and impenetrable again.
“And we’ll see if you want to stick with that being with me and accepting me thing…
” he went on, and suddenly the thought occurred to me that maybe he was going to try to drag me into one of his little performances, like on Halloween when he cooked up that insane game with Jennifer to intimidate me and get me to leave town.
“You’re nuts. I’m going to stay in a hotel.” I grabbed my coat and put it on again, moving toward the door. Before I got there, however, Neil took me by the wrist and pulled me to him.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he told me, his eyes boring into mine.
And there he went, imposing himself again, like he felt real fear at the prospect of someone not doing what he’d ordered them to do. Maybe Neil had that strange habit of always refusing to bend to anyone else’s will because he’d been forced to do too much of that when he was little?
Though I wanted to yell and rage at him, logic told me that there was a why behind his every attitude and that all of it, without fail, came back to the babysitter.
“Oh yeah? And who made that decision?” I pressed, breathing in his good smell of shower gel mixed with aftershave. It was a very nice smell, but I wasn’t going to let it lead me astray.