Chapter 20 Selene
“Neil had never known the sweet smell of a rose
because all he had gotten, his whole life long,
were the painful punctures of the thorns.”
Selene
It was May third.
Neil’s birthday. And that wasn’t the only thing that made the day special…
I thought back on how all of this had started, purely by chance. I would never have believed back then that Neil and I could come this far together.
For the past few months, we had decided to put our problems on pause and had simply spent time together, getting to really know each other. And now, after supporting each other through all the fears and worries, we were here together on Neil’s graduation day.
Who would have guessed?
My hands were shaking with suppressed joy for Neil. He was achieving such an important goal, and he, more than anyone else, deserved this moment. He deserved to have this, to feel accomplished and satisfied and proud of himself.
“He’s nervous…” Logan whispered into my ear. Never for a moment did my eyes leave Neil’s powerful body. He was wearing an elegant gray suit for the first time since I’d known him and a graduation robe over it.
He was simply beautiful.
His hair was neatly arranged, except for that eternally unruly piece over his forehead, and his beard was cut short and tight. His profile was perfect, and his lips were red because he kept nibbling them nervously.
I shifted in my seat. I’d worn a black pencil skirt with a seductive slit up one thigh and a white blouse that tied in a bow around the collar. My feet ached in my Louboutins, and my heart was racing in my chest.
The rector had already yielded the floor to the big cultural figure who’d been invited to do the commencement address.
Next, they began announcing names, and with Neil’s came his list of honors.
Logan, the rest of the family, and I immediately leaped to our feet to give him the standing ovation he deserved.
Tears poured down my cheeks, though I had promised myself I wouldn’t cry.
The emotions were just too powerful; I couldn’t hold them back.
Logan gave me a tight hug; Chloe and Mia clung to each other. It was a magical moment for all of us.
This boy…
This boy whose childhood had been destroyed by human cruelty, who had spent so much time nursing his wounds alone in the corner of his room.
This boy who had been set apart from everyone else because he was considered so dangerous.
This damaged boy with the broken heart…
He’d done it.
He had become an accomplished man.
A great man, whom I loved.
The only man I loved.
I wiped away my tears with the backs of my hands just in time for another wave of emotion to get me right in the heart at the cap throw.
I smiled up into a sky punctuated by so many spots of black, which then rained back down like confetti.
The air was festive, and the love I felt for Neil was so overpowering that it made me lightheaded.
I pulled away from Logan then and went to find him, seeking him out like oxygen.
I quickly picked him out from the crowd of people.
He was laughing with some fellow students, sans robe.
And when he turned the full power of that golden gaze on me, I wavered a little on my high heels.
Immediately, he quit paying attention to the other people, abandoned whatever conversation he’d been having, and came to me with that confident stride and that agile body, which was only enhanced by the suit.
I nearly swooned when he wrapped his arm around my waist and gave me a sensual kiss.
“Congratulations, Mr. Future Architect. And it’s your birthday today, too.
You’re all grown up now,” I said cheerfully, coaxing a small smile from him.
I smoothed the lapels of his suit, gathering my courage before telling him, “I’m proud of you.
I couldn’t be prouder, Neil. And you should be proud too.
” He watched every line of my face as I spoke.
He grazed a thumb along my cheek, and I pressed a worshipful kiss to the palm of his hand.
“I’m already brainstorming my present,” he whispered wickedly and kissed me again, this time just below my ear.
I flushed and watched him step back curiously so he could get a better look at me.
He examined my outfit, which I had selected to be chic and sensual but not at all vulgar, and I watched as a strange light flared in his eyes.
“You’re beautiful, Tinkerbell,” he told me for the first time.
My eyes went wide as I marveled at him, and I was very glad that I’d worn something a little more stylish for him. I wanted to be attractive and to impress him, at least on this one occasion, and maybe I had succeeded.
“I’m happy you like it—” I began before someone grabbed him by the arm, interrupting our intimate moment.
The other new graduates were all clustered together, taking pictures, laughing, and chatting.
Neil would never agree to have his picture taken, but he deserved to celebrate like anyone else, so I gave him his space.
But I immediately regretted that when I spotted some girls congratulating him a little too effusively with lingering cheek kisses.
“Looking a little green there, Selene.”
I startled when Logan, accompanied by Chloe, came over and elbowed me in the ribs.
“They’re giving him such fuck-me eyes,” I said in a burst of outrage. I rarely employed that kind of language, but I just couldn’t stand to watch some little blond sexily bat her eyelashes at Neil, desperate for his attention.
“Maybe. But you’re the only one he fucks,” Logan answered.
I turned automatically to look at him. I didn’t care if it made me look insecure, seeking assurance from him like that.
I was insecure when it came to whether Neil truly desired me exclusively.
“You’re the one he wants, Selene. He can’t admit that to you, but he does have feelings in his own way.
” Logan turned back to watch Neil some more, his eyes shining with admiration and affection.
“Shall we go, then? I’ve planned a party for Neil.
” Mia joined us looking every bit as composed and elegant as always with Matt by her side.
I blanched as I thought back on the argument I’d overheard between her and Dr. Keller.
I watched her warily as she rubbed my father’s back.
I wondered if he knew about the connection between his partner and the psychiatrist.
Meanwhile, Neil had returned and stood beside me. He slid his arm around my waist right there in front of our parents with zero shame.
I turned red in visible discomfort.
I knew that my father would never approve of our relationship, and I could feel his dark eyes on me, burning with resentment.
“Sorry for leaving you on your own,” Neil whispered in a voice so warm it gave me chills. He smirked at me, taking note of my reaction.
“Congratulations,” my father said to him.
He stared first at the intimate way we touched each other before his eyes moved up to Neil’s face.
He proffered his hand seriously, grimly.
Neil went rigid; I could feel his fingers digging harder into my side.
I held my breath, but, fortunately, he simply reciprocated the gesture after a moment’s hesitation, giving my father’s hand a firm squeeze.
“Thank you,” he said coolly, his voice firm and composed. Mia looked admiringly at her son, though it seemed to me that there was also some guilt in her eyes.
“I’m proud of you.” She moved closer to him until she could drop a kiss on his cheek.
Neil tensed up but did not otherwise react.
He permitted the gesture, trying hard to accept it.
He wasn’t used to receiving that kind of affection, and he still saw it as a danger.
In truth, he considered all human contact damaging.
He sometimes struggled even with me, though I tried to be understanding and patient.
I wanted to show him that the world didn’t just contain monsters and child-eating witches but also good and worthy people.
How could I blame him for feeling as he did? Neil had never known the sweet smell of a rose because all he had gotten, his whole life long, were the painful punctures of the thorns.
* * *
An hour later we were back at Matt and Mia’s home.
The enormous living room was already all set up.
In the middle was a long table covered in an array of dishes accompanied by crystal glasses and silver cutlery.
Everything was done in shades of ivory and cream to add a touch of refinement to the ambiance.
No bright colors, no balloons or streamers. That wouldn’t have been to Neil’s taste anyway.
Mia had designed it all to the hilt.
Anna moved amongst the crowd of friends and colleagues as they stood around sipping champagne and nibbling on appetizers with the bored, superior attitude typical of high society.
I quickly gave up on making conversation with anyone and just watched Neil stand next to his mother and hoped he’d turn his attention to me.
I was pathetic… I often felt like I was living in Neil’s shadow, unable to reach him.