Chapter 29 Neil #3
How often had I seen that body naked?
I knew her by heart, every inch, and yet I stared at her nipples beneath the snow-white fabric like I’d never encountered tits before.
She was perfect.
A priceless pearl, luminous and lovingly shaped as any sculpture.
“You’re a work of art,” I blurted out. It wasn’t the first time I’d thought something like that, but it was the first time I’d said it aloud to her. My compliments to her were usually confined to the occasional “you’re so pretty” or “beautiful.” Nothing more.
But there was no adjective that was truly worthy of her and her perfection.
“Not true,” she said, taking on an embarrassed stance. Her cheeks were as red as two cherries, and she pressed her legs together shyly.
I loved this about her, when she would get all awkward and shy. I loved everything about her.
“It’s the truest thing I’ve ever thought or said, Tinkerbell,” I whispered, getting lost again in the warm, depthless ocean of her eyes. I felt cradled there, like a child. Like I could peel away all of my weapons, all my defenses, and simply allow myself to be what I was.
A man who had been thoroughly contaminated by a woman.
I never told her that I loved her, and she had quit expecting it from me. She knew how those cursed words hurt me and how I refused to soil our pure, singular, honest relationship with them.
Besides, I had other ways of communicating my feelings to her.
“Well, thank you, Mr. Keller. I’m flattered.” She moved a few steps closer to me, still looking embarrassed. As usual, I took the initiative and grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against me.
Her perfect body molded itself immediately to mine.
I grabbed her ass, giving it a rough grope. She jumped, putting her hands on my shoulders.
“I want to fuck you, Babygirl.” I kissed her neck, breathing in her smell. “Right now. Can’t wait any more.”
I kissed her hungrily—a powerful, rough, carnal kiss.
I whispered to her that she was my everything.
That she and our daughter were my world.
I whispered that my soul was hers and there was no reason for a shell to exist without a pearl to protect.
And now, I had two precious pearls to keep safe.
I guided her to the leather couch I kept in my office.
Not for clients, as I led people to believe, but for exactly this kind of fuck session with my woman.
I laid her out beneath me, continuing to devour her mouth as I positioned myself between her thighs.
I spread them wide until I could access that special spot, my heaven.
It was a funny thing, a devil like me spending so much time trying to get into heaven.
I squeezed one of her breasts and pinched her nipple, swallowing her gasps. My hands touched her everywhere, down her stomach and further to her mons before pulling her panties aside.
When I stroked her between her legs, I found her sweetly wet and ready for me.
“How many times today have you thought about me doing this to you?” I pushed my fingers ungently into her and there she was, her flesh slick and boiling.
She arched beneath me and shifted her pelvis to accommodate my movements.
She looked deep into my eyes, mouth opened, to let out those moans that were music to ears.
She hooked her legs around one another against my ass and clawed my back, still covered by my shirt.
“Always. I always want you. I think about you all the time,” she murmured breathlessly.
I wanted to hear that from her every day.
I loved hearing how often she thought of me, how much she cared about me, and how deeply she desired me, how it was just the same for her as it had been that first day we met.
I loved to hear that she couldn’t live without me because I couldn’t live without her either.
“That’s how it is for me, too. I’m constantly thinking about you two when I’m not with you. You are my life,” I admitted. Selene had always had the key to the dark, hidden treasure chest that contained my heart.
“And you’re ours,” she answered between moans as I tore off her panties. I had no problem letting her go home without them. She was going home when I did anyway. And I would surely fuck her again when we got there.
I undid my leather belt, undid the button on my pants, and lowered my zipper before letting her take over.
She didn’t strip me, she just wrapped her hand around my erection, and I groaned as she began to firmly stroke it.
I kissed her, licking and nibbling greedily like I was drawing sustenance from her lips.
Then, with a harsh jerk of my hips, I was inside her.
My version of romance merged with her purity, her nobility, her ocean, and her love.
That fucking word again. Perhaps, in the end, I’d fallen victim to it myself.
I squeezed my eyes shut and reveled in the hot sensation of invading her, of becoming a man who, despite the past that still clung to him, was living a better future.
I shivered because it was always a little surreal to me to realize that I really had been lucky enough to find my Neverland.
She really existed, and she was right there with me.
Her eyes locked on mine, her hands clasping my tense biceps as I moved urgently against her. She gasped, and I gave her a harder thrust until she let out a high-pitched cry that she muffled against the bend of my neck. I pounded deeply into her, impulsive and implacable.
I felt a visceral need to lose myself in her.
To get outside myself.
To push beyond my boundaries.
Once, she had looked to me like another line I couldn’t cross, but instead she turned out to be my horizon.
“You’re the horizon,” I admitted to her as I set off on a relentless race for the pleasure I’d been craving for hours, minutes, and interminable seconds.
“Love…” she whispered, peppering my throat with kisses.
I pulled the cups of her bra down and sucked her stiff nipples.
Selene sucked in a breath and locked eyes with me again because she never wanted me to merely touch her body—she wanted me to touch her heart, her soul, everything.
She took urgent possession of my mouth as she writhed like a goddess beneath me.
Her sweet taste washed over me, awakening every inch of me.
It was overwhelming…so powerful it hurt.
“I belong…inside you…” I continued to mutter dazedly.
Selene always said that sex was when I confided my true thoughts in her.
She said it was the time when I was most comfortable talking, perhaps because I was never entirely clearheaded.
I was not fully conscious of my thoughts, so I opened myself up, lowered my walls, and allowed my emotions to speak.
She must have been thinking the same thing because she smiled at me, and that’s when time stopped.
The world ceased around us because she was so vast, so infinite that it was terrifying.
What kind of fairy magic was this?
Selene grazed her nose against mine then bit into my lower lip and sucked it with a groan of delight.
I thrust into her more eagerly, more roughly.
I felt her shudder beneath me, and I knew that she was close. I clutched the sofa’s armrest on either side of her head, trying to hold on to my composure. My fingertips turned white where they gripped the leather, and my muscles flexed underneath the shirt I longed to rip off along with my pants.
Her nails dug into my back as she arched into my powerful, violent thrusts.
Our ragged breathing bounced off the office walls, and our scents mingled to create a new one that was an aphrodisiac all on its own.
“You belong inside me…” she whispered, her eyes shut tight before giving herself over to a devastating orgasm that had her screaming aloud.
Then, she smiled up at me, her lower lip bloody from where I’d bitten it a little too hard without even realizing it. I licked it gently to ease the pain—a silent apology. I let my head fall into the hollow of her throat and its coconut smell.
She gripped my hair in her hands, and at the same moment, I exploded as well.
Inside her, in my home, my refuge. In the place where I belonged.
Because I too had found my place in the world after traveling for so long down a path of pain.
The Boy who locked himself in his room to get away from the monster was a persistent memory, but it hurt less.
The memory lived inside me but was locked away in a drawer with the rest of my past.
My present was right here with Selene and our daughter.
“Fuck,” I collapsed on top of her, breathless. Our bodies were still locked together, sweaty, exhausted, and still humming with adrenaline. My shirt stuck to my back, my half-undone pants pulling against my thighs. My ass was exposed, and that was exactly where Babygirl’s hands came to rest.
“You like grabbing my ass, huh? You’ve become a little freak,” I teased her. She blushed, but her blue eyes shone with tiredness.
She was exhausted.
Not just because of the demanding amount of sex I required to ease my mental conditions, but also because of everything else she had to deal with: the pregnancy, all the changes, the new rhythms of our lives, and a daily routine that now revolved around Nicole.
“You were perfect, like always. Sometimes I wonder if I can really be enough for you.” She sighed, giving me a sorrowful look. She rubbed my back gently, smiling a little half-smile that hinted at much deeper emotions.
“I wonder the same thing. Sometimes, I ask myself what I possibly could have done to deserve someone like you,” I said honestly. It was inconceivable that she was the one who felt herself inferior to me. She had no idea how attractive she was to men, nor how much other women envied her.
“You won’t cheat on me, right? You’ll stay with me? You won’t abandon Nicole and me?”
And there it was: the paranoia. About a secretary, a blond coworker, women I’d had in the past, and women who worked with me or even just near me.
It hadn’t been easy for her to stick by me these last ten years of our relationship.
We’d been through a number of dark periods, had full-on crises, and I had pulled a lot of shit.