10. Old School Country #3
“My granny and mom taught me some stuff growing up. I also watched a lot of baking shows and tutorials and taught myself some tricks. Mom worked a lot once I was older, and my sperm don—sorry, my father was out of the picture, so I had to help out a lot with my little sister when she had to work late nights.” Grabbing my sweet tea, I took a hefty sip to hopefully hide the redness in my face.
I seriously needed to stop referring to him as a sperm donor who didn't know my childhood baggage.
I coped with dark humor, but I knew not everyone loved it.
“How old were you?” Spencer asked after another bite of food.
“I was fourteen when he left, fresh into high school, and my sister was only two at the time.”
“That must have been really hard for you. Not only going through the changes a fourteen-year-old does, but also going into high school, plus your family changing so drastically and becoming a fill-in parent for your sister too.”
“Oh no, that’s okay, we had some help from my grandparents too, so it wasn’t all totally awful, but they were still older and couldn’t do much, ya know? I know my mom did all she could for us so we could have a good life, though.”
“That doesn’t mean it was any less hard for you, Allie.
” I squirmed under his assessing gaze. Talking about myself with new people was hard.
To me, everything was just what it was. It was the past, it sucked, but I’m here now and well-adjusted…
enough. That was what the therapy was for anyway.
Pretty sure the fact that I needed said therapy negated the previous statement, but I digress.
“I really appreciate you saying that. The only person who knows much about me is Emma. Besides her, I’ve never really made friends well.
Growing up, I was bullied a lot and found it hard to trust most people, and so because of that, I built walls to protect myself.
However, it kinda turned me into a bitch sometimes because well, I just don’t like most people if I’m being honest.” I shrugged, reaching for another piece of garlic bread because it was the truth, and I didn’t want to hide that.
He deserved to know who I truly was, and if I was too much for him, then he could go find less because I wasn’t going to change for anyone.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to guess what’s going to come out of your mouth,” his laugh was so smooth and washed over me, easing my nerves a fraction more, “but no, I understand what you’re saying.
I surrounded myself with a lot of people I thought were my friends growing up, because it was better than being alone with my thoughts.
Now though? I couldn’t tell you the last time I talked to most of them.
Carson and Jacob have been the only two who haven’t walked away and have been there through all the tough shit.
Friends like that can be hard to find, that's for sure. And don’t worry, sweetheart, you having a fire in ya isn’t going to scare me away.
” He reached across the table and squeezed my hand, making the last of the nerves drift off into the recess of my mind.
“So do you think you see kids in your future?” Was the next question I blurted out for some godforsaken reason.
The question caught Spencer slightly off guard, and he accidentally spat some of his drink out and began coughing.
“Shit, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I asked that right now. Here, take my napkin.” I shoved the fabric toward him and prayed the ground would open up a chasm and swallow me whole. After wiping his face and the small splatter on the table, he took a sip of his tea and cleared his throat.
“I’m not sure, honestly. Part of me has thought about maybe having one or two, but the other part also likes being able to do whatever I want when I want, ya know? What about you?” I relaxed a hair as he spoke and weighed my words before speaking.
“Well, that was kind of the reason I wanted to ask. I personally feel it's best to lay it all out there as soon as possible because I know that kids can be a make-or-break for some people.” I took a deep breath. “I had always wanted to be a mom ever since I was little. I was obsessed with my baby dolls and playing house. I had always thought maybe I would have a little girl and get those cute matching outfits and big bows for her that had her name or initials embroidered on them. I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was sixteen and was told that the odds of me having children on my own were very slim, not impossible, but slim, and I more than likely would have to go the medical intervention route if I wanted them. Which is extremely expensive, and at this point in my life, I’ve accepted that being a mom may not be in the cards for me, and that’s totally okay.
I like having midday naps and sleeping in.
” I bit off another chunk of bread as I let all I said hang in the air.
We were friends for now, but I think we both knew we wanted more from this.
What that “more” was, I wasn’t sure yet, but I wanted to get the hard conversations over with first.
“I was never absolutely certain I did want them anyway, and if I didn’t have them, that doesn’t make my life any less fulfilled. Besides, you already have your baby Dolly, and she’s a handful, I can tell.”
“Gah, she is. I love her, though. She came into my life at such a low time, and she saved me.” She was currently curled up next to us on the floor, her tail thump, thump, thumping against the floor as she heard her name.
“Well, I’m glad you have her.”
The rest of dinner went by smoothly as we chatted a little more about our jobs and life.
He told me how he had won a scholarship to the University of Knoxville and went for IT, and how he had completely cut off his family by that point.
I could tell by the sadness in his voice that this was a touchy subject, so I didn’t ask for more.
He’d tell me when he was ready. My heart ached for him, knowing that at some of the biggest moments in his life, the people who should have supported and been there for him had hurt him so much that he no longer felt like they could be in his life.
After we finished eating, Spencer helped me clean up the table and do the dishes while I put away the leftovers. I pulled the freezer drawer open and took out the carton of Cookies and Cream ice cream I had left.
“Want some? I have some whipped cream, sprinkles, and cherries too, if you want to add that.”
“Cookies and Cream is a classic.” He licked his lips excitedly and clapped his hands. It was honestly adorable.
I grabbed the rest of the items and then two bowls and spoons out for us.
I scooped the ice cream into both bowls and slid his over so he could add toppings.
Grabbing the can of whipped cream, I shook it up and added some to mine before I added cherries.
A little bit got on my finger, so I lifted it to my mouth and licked it off while I offered the can to Spencer.
He tracked every movement and stood so still I didn’t think he was breathing.
After a second, he shook his head, took the can from me, and finished making his sundae.
We sat at the island next to each other while we ate.
We were sitting on the barstools, facing each other, so my legs rested on his chair while his legs sat on the outside of mine and brushed up against them.
“This has been a lot of fun tonight. I’m glad you were able to come over,” I said before I took another bite of my ice cream.
“I am too. I’ve had a good time.” He rubbed his palms against my thighs, making me shiver and causing goosebumps to pop up.
Seriously, a single touch? That’s all it took, and my mind started to think very dirty things.
I shoveled another bite into my mouth to distract myself and hopefully chill out.
After we finished, I added the bowls to the sink of dishes I’d worry about later. Scanning over the bar, making sure nothing was left on the island area, Spencer walked up behind me. He wasn’t even touching me, and my body was on fire.
I turned around to face him, and he placed a hand on each side of me and leaned in.
I lifted my arms up so I could wrap my hands around his neck, and I ran my fingers through his soft curls at the nape of his neck.
He let out a soft moan and leaned in closer, rubbing his nose against my cheek and then down the side of my neck.
“God, you smell delicious, like another treat I’d like to have.
” He planted featherlight kisses all along my jaw and then down my neck again.
“I wanted to do this the other night. Kiss all this soft skin.” All I could think was that I needed more.
I don’t know what came over me, but when he reached the bottom of my neck, I arched into him and pulled his face down toward my chest.
“Fuck Allie, these tits are perfect. Look how well they fit in my hands, sweetheart,” he said as he roughly squeezed both of them and then pinched the nipple on my right one. I let out a small whimper, and he did it again. “Does that feel good? You like a little roughness, hmm?”
I nodded my head, not breaking eye contact with him.
I wasn’t really sure what I liked. Sex with Cameron had been mediocre at best, usually ended in me never getting off until later when I used a toy, and any other hookups I had were just a way to cope with what I was dealing with, a way to get out of my own head, and also ended in zero satisfaction.