To Be Seen is to Be Loved #2
Sitting before me, nestled near the window and his desk, was an oversized plush chair that I could easily lie in.
Complete with a couple of throw pillows on it, a fuzzy green blanket, and a small table on one side.
Next to it was a shorter, empty bookshelf, with one of those fancy little candle warmers on top of it, and a giant fresh bouquet of daisies in a giant mason jar next to it.
A gold empty picture frame was set to the side of the vase as well.
The tears started to spill over because I don’t think anyone had ever put this much thought into a single thing for me without me having to flat-out ask for it.
Warmth bloomed in my chest. Every small detail was catered to my likes and needs.
“Spencer, I—I don’t know what to say. This was so kind of you. It’s the perfect little setup. You didn’t have to do this. I—” My throat clogged with the overwhelming emotions that were bubbling up. I sniffled, trying to rein them in.
“Hey, it’s okay, I wanted to do this. I like having you in here with me when I play, but I still want you to be able to do your own thing too. I also ordered you this little stand thingy for your Kindle, but it didn’t come in yet.”
“You’re so kind and thoughtful. Thank you, Spencer, I love yo-it.
I love this so much.” Looks like we’ve both almost slipped now and said the L word early on.
It should scare me that we’ve both almost said it to each other so early on.
Honestly, I think most people would tell us we’re moving too quickly, but there’s a part of me that knows it’s right.
That we’re supposed to be together. Two lost souls drifting through a life full of hurt, wanting to find peace.
He cleared his throat and pushed his glasses up his nose with his pointer finger.
“I left the frame empty because I wasn't sure what picture you’d want in it, and I figured I’d let you decide that.”
“I’ll have to go through mine tonight and pick one. Seriously, thank you for this, I’m so excited! Can I sit in here and read tonight?”
“If you want, sure, yeah. Come here, you.” He pulled me into him and hugged me tightly.
His strong body kept me tethered to the present, not letting my thoughts run rampant.
He was so comforting and so steadfast. “How about I order us some food in for tonight, and we have a chill night? Sound good to you?”
“That sounds perfect. I’ve actually been starting to cramp today, and I’m worried I’m about to get my period. It’s been three months since I’ve had one because of my PCOS, and it would be my luck it shows up now.”
“That sounds awful. Is there anything you need from me?” Reaching up, I smoothed the furrow between his brows with my index finger and fixed his glasses.
“No, for now, I’m okay. I’m just hoping that if it does come, it won’t be awful. However, knowing my luck, it will be.”
Thirty minutes later, our food was dropped off, and we got set up in our little areas.
I turned the candle warmer on, started my playlist, “Turn Me On” by Nora Jones quietly filled the space, and nestled back in my chair.
The contentment I felt was an odd feeling, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.
There was no need to worry if I fucked up and what would happen.
No having to make sure everyone was taken care of before myself.
I sat back and ate, finishing the last couple of chapters of my book, while Spencer played Street Fighter with his friends.
We each did our own thing, but being in each other's presence was calming. Every now and then, he’d look over at me and smile to check in with me, and I’d do the same to him.
This was a peace I think I could welcome easily.
Close to midnight, we decided to get ready for bed.
We both had to be at the office in the morning, so I had to be up with enough time to take Dolly back home, and we decided to ride in together.
I got all my clothes neatly hung on hangers, so they didn’t get wrinkled, and went ahead and laid all my makeup out on the counter so it was ready to go.
“Feel like making time to stop for coffee in the morning?” Spencer asked as he finished brushing his teeth, and I worked on my skin care.
“Sounds good to me, we can grab some of the baked goods for breakfast. I’ll text Rachel and see if she wants anything too.”
I finished up my last step, and he came to stand in front of me, an arm on each side of me on the counter. God, his arms were a sight, all the way down to those hands that I—
“Keep undressing me with your eyes, and we won’t get any sleep tonight.”
“Hmm, I could work with that.” I tapped my finger against my lips and smirked at him.
“Oh, come here, you.” He lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and carried me to his bed, where he lay me down, his warm body on top of mine, peppering my face with kisses.
I couldn’t help the sudden burst of laughter that bubbled out of me.
He braced himself on his arms on either side of me, gazing at me with so much care.
Leaning up to kiss him, I hunched in, squeezing my eyes shut, and took in a sharp, ragged breath.
“Allie, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” The shocks kept coming, and I couldn’t catch my breath enough to answer him.
“It’s—cramps. I just—” Taking another shuddering breath in to try and pull myself together.
“I need something for pain. Do you have anything? Fuck.” I hissed out as another cramp shot through me and took my breath away.
I may go months without a period, but when it did come, it hit hard.
Being a woman was a real fucking bitch sometimes.
“Hold on, wait here.” He clambered off the bed, and I threw a weak thumbs up, because there was no way I was moving my body an inch. These cramps were hitting extra hard right now. Thank god I packed pads, in case I did fully start.
“Here, okay. I have some ibuprofen and Tylenol. Which one?”
“Ibuprofen is best for cramps. That, please.” Sitting up weakly, I took the medication from him, and he passed me my water.
I tossed them back, and another wave of cramps hit me.
“God, this fucking sucks.” Screwing my eyes shut, I tried to keep the tears back, but the pain kept sharpening and twisting like a jagged knife.
Spencer pulled me into him, holding and rocking me while he massaged my lower back the best he could.
“Shhh, it’s okay, baby girl. I’ve got you. Whatever you need, I’m here, okay?” My knuckles were white because my grip on his shirt was so tight. I tried to let his soothing tone calm me, but it didn’t help.
“I’m s-sorry. This is not fun for you, I’m sure.
” Most men hated even the mention of a period, even though it was perfectly normal.
Here I was, starting one that was three months late, and at his house, unable to move because of the excruciating pain.
“Give me a second, I’ll grab my stuff, and head home.
You don’t need to take care of me.” I willed my body to move, but it had other plans.
He brushed a few fallen strands of hair out of my face.
“Sweetheart, you have nothing to say sorry for. You can’t help the timing of your cycle.
I hate seeing you hurting. And yes, I will be taking care of you.
” I clung to him tighter—because I truly didn’t have the fight in me—and lay against him as he held me.
Eventually, the medicine started to kick in, and I could at least breathe more steadily.
Climbing back out of bed on shaky legs, I grabbed my bag and ducked into his bathroom to confirm if my suspicions were true, and sure enough, Aunt Flo paid me a visit. Another pair of underwear lost to womanhood.
“Just my fucking luck.” Grumbling to myself, I quickly changed and stuffed the clothes I was previously wearing into my bag before heading back outside. “Sorry about that,” I said as I set my bag down and climbed back into bed, while trying to secretly check if any blood leaked onto his bed.
Thank goodness it hadn’t.
“No, don't apologize. That looked absolutely horrible, and I’m so glad I’m not the owner of a uterus. Do you need anything else from me?”
“No, no, I’m okay. Had to do a quick change.
Thankfully, that ibuprofen kicked in and at least dulled the pain enough I can at least function.
Aunt Flo came back with a vengeance this month.
Petty bitch. I really want to try and get some sleep.
” My body was weak and tired, and all I wanted was to pass out.
“Of course, baby. Come here.” He pulled me close, and I lay my forehead against his chest, letting his even breathing calm me as I drifted off to sleep in his arms.
The following morning, my head was groggy and dizzy as I set up to hit snooze on my phone.
I was still cramping, and now it hurt all the way to my back.
Truly, this could not have come at a worse time since I needed to give a presentation today in front of our entire department.
Spencer stirred next to me, and I rolled over and lay my head on his chest.
“Good morning, beautiful. How’re you feeling?” He carefully rubbed my stomach and then moved to my back. I let out a little moan and leaned into him more, loving the way it felt.
“Hurting. Exhausted. A little dizzy too. I know I already said it, but this sucks. I wish I could be at home today and not at the office.”
“I know, baby, I know. Maybe see if you can leave after your meeting.” Spence placed a kiss on my nose and then a featherlight one on my lips.
“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t want to let anyone down.
Everyone from the department will be there, and this is a huge presentation going over everyone’s team stats that Celine wanted me to put together.
Plus, I’m announcing new companies we’re bringing on.
” A headache was already starting to form behind my eyes.
Great. Just lovely. This day was already starting off so well.