Chapter 7
Never say I never warned you
Cassidy was waiting for me, sitting at the bar, when my shift ended five minutes after ten. “Ready to get out of here?” she asked, slurping up the last drops of her virgin Bloody Mary through a straw.
“Yes, please. I need food other than wings and burgers and some fresh air far away from here.”
She jumped off her stool and took my hand, leading me outside. “Follow me, roomie.”
We reached Pizzazz, the Italian bistro located a few doors down from Lola’s. The sign said to seat ourselves, so we chose a small round table, sitting on red metal pub-height chairs.
“Okay, lay it all on me,” my roommate said after the server walked away, once we’d placed our food order. “You have that look. A few weeks ago, I would have said it screamed boy trouble, but since you and Jay ended things, it must be something else.”
I propped my elbows up on the small circular surface and buried my face in my hands. “What if I told you it is boy troubles, with an S, but that it’s way over your expertise, because it’s more complicated than you might think.”
Cassidy planned to do a dual degree in psychology and criminology and pursue a career as a profiler for a government agency, which I found highly interesting.
She checked the time on her watch. “I promised that you’d be in bed by midnight, so we have exactly one hour to go over your case.”
I dropped my hands and chuckled. “My case? It sounds like I’m a criminal mastermind, and you’re my counsel.”
“Exactly. I’m all ears.”
The server brought a basket of fries to our table, and I nibbled on a piece after drowning it with ketchup. “There were two boys tonight.”
“Two?” She coughed and took a sip of the water placed in front of her.
“You’re supposed to listen, remember?”
“Yeah, yeah, shutting up now.”
“Okay, so there’s this guy. Jett. He’s Jules’s older brother. Future doctor, hockey player, dark hair, dimples, a smile to die for.” I sighed. “He invited me on a date. Saturday night.”
“This Saturday?”
I bobbed my head a few times. “Yep. I’m tempted to say yes, but at the same time, I think it’s too soon, and also I’m not sure I’m ready for another relationship just yet.”
“Who says you gotta date the guy? You can have your fun, no strings attached.”
“Nope. Forget it. I would never be able to be intimate with someone without picturing more. I would be a terrible one-night-stand gal, I swear. Just thinking about it sends chills down my back—the not-so-fun kind. Hard pass.”
“But you can go on a date with him and see how it goes first, no?”
“Sure.” I sipped my water, trying to gather some courage.
“Do you remember when I told you I struggled with an eating disorder when I was younger?” She nodded.
“Well, I did, but I also… Please don’t judge me.
” I took a deep inhale, twisting the napkin in my hands.
“I relapsed last year. I had surgery, my body felt different, and I was seeing that guy, and…”
She extended her arm over the table and squeezed my hand. “And what? Mel, talk to me.”
“I put pressure on myself. The scholarship, my need to finish first at every meet, Mase… It all became too much. He was my friend, the one person I had been dreaming of calling my boyfriend since the day we met when we were kids, and I blew it all up because I got insecure. He cared for me, even told me he loved me, and I kicked him out of my life. Not my best move, and one of my biggest regrets. At the time, it sounded logical. I didn’t feel good enough to be with him and ended up breaking his heart… and mine.”
I averted my eyes, perusing the small eatery.
Dim lights, painted-black concrete floors, midnight-blue vinyl, semi-circular booths along the walls, and pub tables big enough for two in the middle, the place was small and always filled at every hour of the day.
They served the best wood-fired pizza within a fifty-mile radius, according to college gossip.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because. Mase is here. He’s studying at Crestwood University, and I bumped into him again earlier during my shift.”
She raised a brow.
“I served him and his friends the other night too.”
“Here?”
“Yes, he plays for the Phoenix. Quarterback.”
“Oh. You talked to him?”
I nodded, looking away.
“And now you are realizing there’s some unfinished business between you two, right?”
I brought my attention back to her. “Kinda. Jayden and he…they hated each other. Some high school rivalry dating back a few decades. Jay even said something about my seeking out Mase, now that we were officially over, and I could tell the thought alone hurt him. I told—”
The server placed our pizzas on the table, and the words died on my tongue as we dug in.
“Geez, this is good.” Cassidy licked her fingers. “So, so good.”
I nodded on a mouthful of tomato sauce, fresh basil, and mozzarella delicacy.
Numbers I would prefer to avoid started piling up inside my head.
One slice equaled about one ounce of mozzarella cheese.
Each ounce was about seventy calories. About two tablespoons of tomato sauce per slice, which meant about fifteen calories per slice.
If I ate three slices—because I was starving—it added up to a little over three hundred calories in total, dough included.
I put my third slice down, debating if I should eat it or not.
All the calories of everything I’d eaten since the morning added themselves to the total, but then I tried to estimate how many calories I had burned since I woke up.
There were too many numbers, and I could barely keep count.
“Let me ask you a question. Would you go back to that Mase guy if there was nothing stopping you?”
Cassidy’s question pulled me away from my spiraling thoughts.
It’d been a while since I had obsessed over calories.
I had no clue if stress was the cause right now, but I was glad she was here, making conversation and preventing me from thinking about every bite I put into my mouth.
I breathed out, relieved I could snap out of it, something I couldn’t seem to do back in high school when I relapsed.
I wiped my mouth with a napkin, taking my time to think about my answer. “No… Maybe… Huh, I don’t know… Like I said, it’s complicated. At some point, we did everything together, but it’s been a long while since. We changed. I-I changed.”
“Do you know how he feels about you?”
I glanced down and shook my head. “If I had to guess from the way he stared at me earlier, I would say his feelings are the same as they were…or at least, he doesn’t hate me even though I was terrible to him.
Imagine that. I pushed him away and started dating the guy he hated the most. I-I didn’t mean to.
It just happened one day…” I took another bite of my pizza, not caring about calories so much anymore.
“Can we change the subject now? How are things with your devil identical twin stepbrothers? Is your dad still thinking about renting that cabin for the holidays, leaving you guys stuck in the middle of nowhere for a month with no way to get out, all in the hope that you’ll get along by the time you go back home?
Cassidy gave me a dirty look. “Don’t remind me.
He said my presence was mandatory. Even my mom agreed it was a good idea to bond as a new family.
Can you imagine? They’ve been divorced for ten years, and they never got along, and now that he’s remarried, she’s Team Dad.
Anyway, the Wellington brothers don’t know how good I can be at pretending they’re invisible.
I met them only once, on our parents’ wedding day, and it was enough.
They’re just pretentious jerks. Perhaps you could get away for a week or two and join us.
At least the twins are easy on the eyes, so it won’t be terrible on that front.
We could ogle them when they get in and out of the hot tub.
” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Sounds like a plan?”
“I wish. My parents made me promise I wouldn’t miss Christmas with them. After last year’s fiasco when I ended up staying at my aunt and uncle’s for six weeks and didn’t acknowledge them when they came to visit, we need a do-over.”
She pushed her plate away. “Yeah, it’s kinda logical. Anyway, I tried. If your plans change, I’ll be happy to have you over. I have my own room with a bunk bed, so it would feel like summer camp, but with snow, hot chocolate, and cozy nights by the fireplace.”
“I like that.”
A bit later, we were strolling back to our dorm, arms linked, when we crossed paths with a group of guys on the sidewalk.
One wolf-whistled as Cassidy and I walked past them.
“Ladies,” another called after us.
“Dereck, shut the fuck off,” a voice I would recognize amongst a thousand said before a hand brushed my elbow.
Under the sleeve of my sweater, goose bumps spread over my skin.
Seconds later, Mason appeared in front of us, tenderness filling his gaze.
“Mel, don’t mind them. They’re a bunch of idiots.
Are you okay? Do you girls need a ride? I can drop you off.
It’s late, and I’m about to go home. Or I can also walk you to your dorm. ”
“Thanks, Mase, but we’re good. I walk to our dorm after ten almost every day. Night.”
Cassidy nudged my side as soon as the guys were out of earshot. “Roomie, that’s your Mase?”
I spoke through gritted teeth, my annoyance slipping through. “He’s not my Mase. Just Mason… Not mine… Never been.”
She halted her steps to face me, her arm still linked to mine. “Girl, get real, you’re in big trouble. More than you think.”
“No. I already told you, we’re nothing to each other anymore.”
“Okay, the guy I just saw had yearning painted all over his face when he stared at you. He cares, Mel. From what I just witnessed, that much was evident.”
“Can you not psychoanalyze him right now?”
Cassidy’s lips lifted into a soft smile. “Even if I wanted to, it was impossible to miss.”
“Well, I didn’t see the same thing you did.” Lie. “Maybe you’re tired and hallucinating. Did you get your eyes checked lately? Perhaps you need glasses.”
She chuckled. “I wish. And for the record, I’m not even a bit tired. You, girl, are in denial. Let’s mark tonight, because soon enough, I’ll get to say, Told you so.”
I murdered her with my eyes.
Cassidy resumed her walk, pulling at my arm. “C’mon, roomie. Never say I never warned you.”