Chapter 11
Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s just a date
“My brother told me he saw you again a few nights ago and that you guys are going on another date.” Jules pumped her fist. “I knew it. You guys are a perfect match.”
“Relax, girl. Don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s just a date.”
“No. A second date.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes. “How are things with Shawn?”
“We talked last night. Like a super long and meaningful talk.”
“So?”
“He doesn’t want us to break up, and neither do I.
He told me some disturbing stuff about his childhood, and some of it explains why commitment is a huge issue for him.
Something to do with his biological mom.
You were right. Anyway, I won’t push him to tell the world we’re dating, and he will try to do better and commit more to meet me halfway. ”
“Are you happy about it?”
“Yes. I really love him, and I can picture us going the distance. I just hope that whatever he’s dealing with, it is fixable.
” She paused. “He started seeing a shrink last week. I didn’t know.
He told me yesterday. I think he confided in Jett, and my brother recommended someone.
He’s making an effort, and just that is worth a lot in my mind, don’t you think? ”
“I do. You’re lucky. I agree that if he wants to do better by you, seeing a therapist to deal with his past is a great first step. It helped me a lot last year when I was dealing with stuff. I hope it will be beneficial for you two.”
“It will. I have a great feeling about it.”
“Is Jett still sleeping on Shawn’s couch?”
“Nope. He moved back to his own place yesterday morning. It was about time. Shawn and I need some space to work on our relationship. If my dorm had been coed, I would have let him crash there instead, but they had some guys’ bonding time, so it’s all good.”
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “I’m happy for you. How’s the support group’s project going?”
“Girl, you won’t believe it. It’s growing faster than I could have ever imagined.
We met with the chancellor, and he said we could count on him and the university to back our designated driver service initiative on and around campus, to help keep people from driving under the influence.
His grandson was killed by a drunk driver twenty-something years ago, so the cause speaks to him.
We have almost three thousand signatures so far.
We all know that even if the drinking age is twenty-one, nobody respects it, which means college campuses are our perfect audience.
Local businesses wanna partake in our pilot project, so we’ve decided to extend the service offer up to two miles around the university for now.
We’ll see how it goes, and then we’ll decide if we extend it further or keep it around campus only.
That press release you helped us write has helped tremendously.
I have six requests from local news stations for interviews, and three colleges, one in California and two in Texas, have contacted us because they are interested in implementing the service on their own campuses once the pilot project is over and we have some data to share.
Students are filling out the form online to volunteer.
In the best-case scenario, we’ll be able to start around Thanksgiving. ”
“Just in time for the holidays. Your timing couldn’t be better. Have you decided how it will work?”
“Yes.” She clasped her hands before her, practically vibrating with excitement.
“We’ll have like a headquarters, which will be a small office in the social sciences building.
It will also act as a call center. We’ll have four volunteers taking the calls and dispatching the drivers, also volunteers.
The driver teams will be made of three people—three sober people—and their shift will last four hours.
Two of them will drive the not-so-sober caller’s car to the destination, and the other will follow in one of our vehicles to pick up the volunteers once the customer has been dropped off.
I saw a documentary about a service like that in another country, and it gave me the idea. ”
I admired her contagious enthusiasm. She reminded me of Paige whenever she tried new cupcake recipes and was excited to have us taste-test them.
It felt like forever since the last time I couldn’t shut up about something that fired me up so much it was all I could think about.
Sure, I liked my life here, my friends, my classes, and my sport, but I often felt like something was missing, and I couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly.
“Brilliant. Where did you get the vehicles from?”
Jules smiled. “A local dealership is our main sponsor and is lending us four vehicles. The volunteers will be wearing either shirts, sweatshirts, or hats with their logo on them, and all our marketing material will be showcasing their brand too. They are tiny, fuel-efficient cars. Easy to drive and to park. The dealership received a batch of lime-green vehicles that won’t sell, so they are perfect for us.
I’m hoping it’s so successful that we can get more vehicles by the end of the winter semester. ”
“That’s really smart.”
“Thank you. Shawn and I even came up with a name last night. It needs approval by the committee—and the university—first to make it official, but I think it fits perfectly.”
I lifted a brow as if to say Keep going.
“Home Alive Driving Buddies. Or HADB for short. What do you think?”
“I love it. Do you think we have time to grab coffee from Hot Shot before our next class? I was hoping to talk to Cassie for a minute. Our schedules never match, so we’re barely ever in our room at the same time.”
“If we hurry, yeah. I’m desperate for an espresso anyway.”
“How was training this morning?” Donovan asked as we met at the door of the sports center.
“Good.” It took me a few weeks to get used to these early college training sessions, but now I enjoyed them because they helped me clear my head and shot me with energy for the rest of the day.
“Coach thinks I have a chance to make it onto the podium, at least in the Women’s 100-meter backstroke event at the conference meet next week. ”
“With your talent and discipline, I’m sure you will.
Seriously, you’re faster than the senior who collected the most medals last year.
I understand why they recruited you.” He circled my neck with an arm and pulled me to him for a quick side hug before letting go of me.
“Are you going to your next class right away, or do you need to stop by your room?”
“I’m meeting Cassie for breakfast in”—I looked at my watch—“ten minutes. We have so much catching up to do. See you after lunch in English class?”
“Yes. I’ll be there. Save me a spot. I might be five minutes late.”
In a weird twist of fate, Donovan and I shared many classes together this semester, which made things easier with our training schedules and study sessions.
“All right. I gotta run.” I waved at him as we parted ways in the parking lot.
I spotted Cassidy the minute I entered Eggcited, the breakfast joint on the outskirts of campus.
She gestured to me, and I edged my way through the patrons toward her table at the far back.
The little restaurant’s decor was all but trendy.
Upholstered chairs with mismatching floral patterns, maple wood tables with golden trims that seemed to be from another era, terra cotta tiled floor, yellowed cream wallpaper with pictures of chickens covered by paintings of farm animals and dairy products.
The entire place was a bit overwhelming to the eyes, but the food was good, the servings generous, and the prices reasonable for any college student.
On school days, they offered discounts on all breakfast served before nine, which meant it was always full to the brim before the first class of the day.
My friend nodded toward the steaming mug of coffee set on the table. “I took the liberty of ordering this for you.”
I removed my jacket and hung it on the free-standing coat rack to the left of our table before sitting down and curling my hands around the warm mug to bring it to my mouth, the scent of caffeine filling my nostrils. “Thank you. I’d been dreaming about coffee since I opened my eyes at five thirty.”
“I have no idea how you can swim and train so early in the morning with just a protein shake in your system.”
“It takes my stomach a few hours to wake up. I’m always starving afterward, though.”
Cassidy eyed me, chewing on her bottom lip.
“What?”
“You would tell me if the eating disorder was back or if you were struggling, right?” She studied my face. I could see the future criminologist in her when she stared at me like that.
I nodded, looking into her eyes, my gaze never faltering so she would know I was speaking the truth. “Yes. And I’m good, I swear. In fact, I’m better than I’ve been in a very long time. Don is always watching out for me too. Don’t worry, okay?”
She sipped her own coffee. “I trust you.”
“Thanks. For having my back.” It felt good to have friends who cared about me once again. I’d missed that.
She smiled at me. “Always.”
After I pushed the sleeves of my khaki knitted sweater up to my elbows, I grabbed two menus and handed her one.
“What are you having?” I asked, browsing the selections even though I always ended up choosing between the blueberry pancake stack and the veggies omelet with a side of bacon.
Since my discussion with Donovan, I hadn’t been inclined to count my calories.
“I was thinking of trying the buckwheat and eggs bowl with mushrooms and kale.”
“Oh, it’s new. I’ve never seen it before. It looks delicious. I’ll have the same, but the one with cherry tomatoes and feta.” I put the menu away just as the server neared our table to take our order.
“There’s a party at one of the fraternity houses for Halloween. I was thinking we could go.”
My smile dipped. “I’m working on Halloween night. My shift ends at eleven thirty. I’m not sure if I’ll have any energy left to go out afterward. George told me it’s usually one of the busiest nights of the year.”
“C’mon, roomie. What is college for if we don’t get out and have some fun once in a while?
It’s Halloween night. You must come to the party.
” She joined her hands in prayer. “Pleaaase.” The movement revealed the strap of her burgundy bra and the small tattoo by her collarbone as the neckline of her off-shoulder black shirt slipped to the side.
“Fine. I’ll try to make an appearance.”
“Yay. We need to talk costumes. I can put something together for you, but you gotta give me ideas. I’m pretty good at sewing clothes.”
“For real? Will you teach me?”
“Absolutely. Let’s brainstorm and come up with a clear vision of what we want by the end of next week. Deal?”
I extended my arm over the table to shake her hand. “Deal. Please, nothing too slutty, okay? I don’t wanna draw too much attention to myself at work. Booze and boob cracks don’t mix too well when your job is to serve tables at a pub filled with hormone-driven college students.”
She winced. “Yeah. Lots of perverts. I agree.”
For the next hour, we chatted about our classes, a math major named Carl, who seemed to be under Cassidy’s charm because he had been visiting her up to four times a day at Hot Shot for the last month, whenever she was working, and my next meet.
“Any run-in with your former friend, the football player?”
I almost spat out my mouthful of coffee at her question. I swallowed and dabbed my lips with a napkin. “Whoa, you almost lasted an hour before mentioning him.”
“I’m curious, that’s all.”
“Nothing since the other night. Knowing Mase, I’m sure he’ll find a million ways for us to bump into each other soon enough.
Unless he’s fancying some other girl…” The thought that he might ask someone else out twisted my stomach into knots.
I hated the idea. And yet, I was the one who’d set him free.
I had no rights over him. And no say in his dating life.
“You okay?” Cassidy asked. “You look like you’ve eaten something sour.”
I shook off the chills running through me. “All good. I was thinking about my Halloween costume.” She watched me with a knowing gaze, and I could tell she had seen right through the lie.
“It’s fine if you like him, you know. Jayden is your ex for a reason, and he has no right to decide who you’re allowed to date or not from now on.”
“I know. It’s just… There’s a lot of history between Mase and me. I’m not sure it’s a good idea to revisit it anytime soon. Anyway, Jett asked me on a second date, so that’s what I should focus on. The future. Not the past.”
“Perhaps, and I’m not saying it to upset you, revisiting the past is exactly what you need to move forward.”
I sipped my lukewarm coffee, mulling over what she’d just said. Suddenly, my date with Jett didn’t seem right. My roommate’s words mirrored Luciana’s.
“I didn’t want to mess with your head.”
I huffed. “It’s fine. Luciana, the woman leading the therapy sessions, said something similar about getting closure. I’m still debating if she’s right.”
“We can talk about it later, and I can help you decide. Sorry, but I’ve got to ditch you for my Intro to Psychology class like now.” From the pocket of her faux-leather skirt, my friend pulled out a twenty-dollar bill and set it on the table. “Just bring me the change tonight.”
I waved her off with a hand. “Sure. No worries. Go, or you’ll be late. I’ll stop by Hot Shot before my last class.”
“Perfect. I’ll make you a special order to go.”
“Awesome.”
Seconds later, she smiled at me from the sidewalk as I waited for the server to bring the check.
My phone pinged with a text notification.
Jett
Thursday night. Henri’s? I could pick you up around five forty-five.
I watched the screen, my fingers hovering over the keypad. It was just a date, not a marriage proposal. What did I have to lose? Jett and I had a great time the other night, so why was I hesitating? I typed fast before I could change my mind.
Me
Sure. We can meet there if you prefer.
Jett
Don’t be silly. I’ll text you when I’m outside your dorm. Can’t wait.
Again, I stared at my phone screen for longer than needed before I replied.
Me
Me too.
A tiny little piece of my heart fractured in my chest as I stared at his happy face emoji reply. If I were doing the right thing, then why was I feeling like a fraud right now?