Chapter 22 #2
I shook my head. “Nope. I don’t think we were ever meant to last anyway.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah. He was my shield. It wasn’t fair to him, but it’s the truth. I’m sorry I hurt you in the process. I never truly hated you. I was just too proud to let you in after you found out about my situation. I should have been the one telling you about it, instead of your finding out like you did.”
He extended his hand and intertwined our fingers. “It’s okay. We’re past that now.”
“You think?”
He grinned, the pain that had filled his eyes so far today vanishing. “I know it.”
Thirty minutes later, I finished blow-drying my hair and dressed in a pair of leggings and a butter-yellow knitted off-shoulder cardigan.
Mason had football practice in twenty minutes, and we were supposed to meet in the hallway outside the locker rooms before going our separate ways.
We had spent more time in the pool than planned, chatting without the pressure of the outside world.
I was happy with the physical therapy work we had done and was hopeful it could help him heal and get the full motion of his shoulder back.
I hoisted my duffel bag over my shoulder, ready to leave the locker room, when the lights went out. Panic dug its claws into me. Using my phone as a flashlight, I approached the door and tapped the magnetic pad with my key card. Nothing. The light that usually flashed green didn’t this time.
I yanked at the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge.
This was not funny.
All the feelings I’d experienced the night I got locked inside the staff restroom at Lola’s returned, tenfold.
Was someone following me and keeping me hostage in dark rooms for fun?
I tried my key again without success. I paced the room, praying the motion sensor would turn the lights on, but it did nothing.
The room was still plunged in darkness, with only the green emergency exit signs on the far wall casting a faint glow.
My heart thundered in my chest, and my breathing turned shallow.
I was point two seconds away from bursting through the door but held back, knowing it would trigger the alarm.
Then the emergency vehicles would arrive, and I’d have to explain myself. All complications I didn’t need.
I kicked the door, pulled at the handle once more, and tried my key card half a dozen times. I wasn’t being paranoid. I was really locked in here. Cold sweat prickled at the back of my neck.
I looked at the phone in my hand, and some of the panic ebbed away.
Why didn’t I think of calling someone sooner?
I was about to dial Mason’s number when the lights flickered back on.
I tapped my key card in one last attempt.
I held my breath, counting the seconds in my head.
The light flashed green, and I rushed out of the locker room, only to bump into Mason standing on the other side of the door.
He caught me with both hands so I wouldn’t fall on my butt in my haste.
“Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying?”
I had not even realized my cheeks were wet until he mentioned it. “I was…I was trapped. I couldn’t get out. It was dark. I freaked out.”
He drew me into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Hey, it’s okay. It was just an outage. The janitor told me they’re doing electrical work in the basement, and they must have turned the power off for a moment.
Then the whole system had to be rebooted.
I came here to check if you were all right.
I think they assumed no one was in here. You’re safe now.”
My entire body trembled against his. I must have looked so silly.
“I didn’t know you were afraid of the dark.”
I wiped my teary eyes and leaned back. “I am not. It’s just…” I breathed in to calm the tremors in my voice. “The other night, I got locked in the restroom at work. I…I have a feeling the lock wasn’t defective.”
“What do you mean?”
“My gut tells me someone messed with me on purpose.”
“Who?”
“No clue. It was the longest five minutes of my life. George changed the door and the lock just to make sure it wouldn’t happen again after I told him, but I still have a weird feeling about it.”
“Why would someone do something like that?”
“I bet they thought they were being funny. Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. I just thought for a moment it was happening again. I’m relieved to know it wasn’t.”
“Want me to ditch practice and walk you to your place?”
“Nah. You go. I’ll be all right.” I hesitated for a fraction of a second. “I am all right.”
He lifted an eyebrow, studying my face.
“Mase, I swear. Promise me you’ll take it slow at practice today, okay? Don’t overdo it. Give your shoulder a break. It needs some rest.”
“I’ll try. Thanks for helping me this morning, Shepard.”
“My pleasure. I’ll email you the exercise routine, so you have a copy.”
“Thanks. Are you sure you’re gonna be all right?”
“I swear. Now go or you’ll have to run laps for being late. We’ll catch up later.”
He bobbed his head twice and walked away. I followed his retreat with my eyes, wondering if Mason was really done with drugs or if he was saying he was just to appease me and my worries.
Just from the tension emanating from him and the way he kicked pebbles on the sidewalk, keeping his eyes down, I could tell Mason was in a piss-poor mood when he joined me at the end of my shift at Lola’s to walk me back to my dorm.
I studied his profile, trying to find hints that would tell me if he’d been using or not, but I couldn’t find any.
His eyes were clear, he wasn’t jumpy or fidgety, and he didn’t have tics. At least none I could see.
It had been a few days since that morning at the pool, and with how busy we’d both been so far this week, we hadn’t had a chance to see each other again.
“Anything you wanna talk about?” I asked, pushing my hands into my jacket pockets, the cold breeze making me shiver all over.
He locked his eyes on mine. “You.”
I pointed my thumb at my chest. “Me? What did I do?”
“Everything and nothing. I’ve been thinking about us all day, and I’m super mad at you right now.”
“If you’re mad at me, why are you even here?”
“Because even though I’m upset, I’d never let you walk home alone at this late hour.”
“Either you admit what’s bugging you now or you walk away and we talk later. My energy’s drained, and I’m not in the mood for games.”
He tugged at my sleeve and led me toward a little patch of grass away from the people filling the sidewalks.
“I’m done playing games, so at least we agree on something.”
“I have no clue what you’re talking about. Last time we were together, there was nothing left unsaid between us. Or I thought there wasn’t. What did I miss?
“Mel, I wanna be with you.” He dragged a hand across his face.
“I think I’ve made myself clear enough times as it is.
I have no idea why you still won’t be with me too.
It’s eating me alive. I feel fucking stupid for still holding on to the idea of an us.
” He looked into the distance before returning his eyes to mine.
“I’ve never given you any reason to doubt me or to think I was being dishonest with you.
I get why you’re scared and where you’re coming from, but I’m done with this game of cat and mouse where I’m the only one trying, the only one being vulnerable.
I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you and all it implies, but I won’t let you lead me on forever, Mel.
Either you wanna be with me or you don’t, but please make up your mind because I’m tired of being in limbo in this relationship. ”
“It’s not… I don’t…”
“Yes, you do. You didn’t lead Clarke on for months.
You pretty much replaced me with him in a matter of weeks.
And here I am, a year later, still committed to us, but you still won’t be honest about your feelings.
I know you know we belong together. I just wish you were brave enough to shut the voices in your head and say screw you to whatever doubts you still have and trust me to catch you when you fall. ”
“Mase.”