9. Moose
Chapter nine
Moose
W hile I sat in a plush velvet seat at one of Portland's hottest new farm-to-table restaurants, aromas of roasted garlic and seared meat swirled around me, but they couldn't hold my concentration. My thoughts were elsewhere. Finn lightly brushed his leg against mine under the table. The contact sent me right back to my apartment on Christmas night. We'd kissed— kissed —and he was still there for me.
"Earth to Moose. Everything okay?" Quinn's voice cut through my thoughts. Finn and I were out to dinner with Axel and Quinn to celebrate New Year's Eve. "You've been staring at that menu for the last five minutes like it's written in Klingon."
I blinked and did my best to concentrate on the present. "Sorry, I'm just considering my culinary destiny."
Finn snorted. "I bet that's just a fancy of saying that you're having a hard time deciding between the steak and the salmon. One thing that might help—they're both great, and we can come back for the other one later."
I grinned. "Hey, these are important life decisions. It's my last major food choice of 2024, and it could set the tone for my entire 2025." I held out a hand. "Stay with me on this one. What if I choose the wrong option, and bad food karma curses me for the next twelve months?"
Axel rolled his eyes. "All respect, but only you would insist food karma is a thing."
I chuckled. Quinn joined my side. "Hey, maybe he's got a point. One time, I ate bad gas station sushi before a game. It was a big mistake. My gut karma was off for the next several weeks."
Finn shook his head. "That wasn't karma. It's called the consequences of making a poor life choice."
They all thought I was slow in deciding on my meal. Axel had yet to get past the cocktail menu. He interrupted my big-picture discussion of life. "Speaking of questionable choices, who's with me on being brave enough to try the Lumberjacks's Folly drink? This menu says it comes with a tiny axe as a garnish."
"I'm so in." Quinn practically bounced in his seat. "Moose? Finn? You guys game for it?"
I glanced at Finn. "Why not? But I'm not leading the trek to Coach Fraser's office to explain if all three of you go down to start the New Year."
My affection for the men at the table surged as our server approached. As usual, Quinn overflowed with enthusiasm for life. Axel couldn't hide the caring nature buried beneath his gruff exterior, and Finn… he was the new center of my life. It seemed like it happened overnight, but we'd circled each other for months.
After the server took our drink orders, I cleared my throat. "Um, guys, Finn and I have something to share with you. Nobody else knows, but the two of you are kind of special. Now, don't go getting big heads, but—"
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Kill the editorial comments and out with it already. You've got that look on your face." He grinned. "Just know, tomorrow's a game day, so I can't jet to Vegas later tonight."
For a moment, I wanted to kill him. It sounded like my news wasn't news. I'd been totally transparent to Quinn since we met. Maybe that's how best friends were supposed to be.
Finn chuckled, and he reached under the table to take my hand. His touch steadied me.
Axel held out a hand and mimicked a referee dropping a puck. "Let's get this going."
"Well, you see…" I started, but then words failed me. What was the best way to say it?
Finn did his best to help it. "We, uh…" We glanced at each other.
Quinn groaned. "For the love of hockey sticks, will one of you spit this out already? I'm dying from the suspense."
"Suspense?" Axel muttered with a gleam in his eyes.
I took a deep breath and then blurted it out. "Finn and I are together. Like, dating together."
We were all silent for a beat, and then Quinn cheered so loudly that diners at nearby tables turned to see what the commotion was about. "Maybe I shouldn't say it, but it's about damn time. You two were making goo-goo eyes the first time you met. I thought I might have to lock the two of you in a supply closet at the arena to sort this out."
Axel was more mellow about it. "Congratulations, but please, keep the locker room PDA to a minimum, yeah?"
Relief washed over me. It was out there, and Finn didn't protest. That meant it was real. Quinn jumped in with questions.
"So, who made the first move? Was it romantic? Red roses and all? Did you hold hands while sipping protein shakes and kale smoothies?"
Finn laughed. "I guess most of that will be in the movie version, but real life wasn't quite so interesting. Still, there might have been a bit of mistletoe involved."
Quinn leaned forward. "Mistletoe? Oh, this I've got to hear. Spill it all, you two lovebirds."
Finn delivered a slightly embellished story while Quinn hung on every word. I exhaled while the anxiety that gripped me earlier started to fade.
While the story continued, Axel caught my eye. "You good?"
I smiled, happy for his care and concern. "Yeah, I'm good."
Axel interrupted just as Finn started to say something about hearing reindeer hooves on the roof. "I see the server on the way with those ridiculous cocktails. I think this news calls for a proper celebration."
We all held our tiny axes in one hand and the drinks in the other, clinking the glasses while making chopping movements. Quinn intoned, "To Moose and Finn, a match made in lumberjack heaven."
***
After dinner, we visited Pioneer Courthouse Square, the site of a temporary public ice rink set up for the holidays. We wanted to celebrate midnight with a friendly crowd, and it was an opportunity to get some skating in before the big moment. I instantly worried that I'd face plant on the ice, and my fingers trembled while I laced up my skates.
As I took my first steps onto the ice, I regretted every life choice I'd made that led me to the current moment. My long legs wobbled under me like I was a newborn foal. I reached out to cling to the rink's edge, hanging on for dear life.
"Come on, Moose," Quinn called out to me, gliding backward like it was as easy as walking on firm ground. "Skating is like walking, just a little slipperier."
"Easy for you to say," I growled under my breath and started to inch forward at a glacial pace. "Unfortunately, I didn't grow up on the ice."
I'd eased forward about three feet away from the rink's edge when my feet decided they wanted to go in a different direction from the rest of my body. They shot out from under me, and I windmilled my arms, fighting to remain standing. The moment before I tumbled to the ice, a firm hand caught my elbow.
"Whoa, big guy." It was Finn, and he held on to steady me. "You need a baby giraffe to teach you about balance."
"Funny," I grumbled, but I was grateful he helped. "If you think this is bad, you should have seen me knitting for the first time with these oversized fingers."
"And see how far you've come?" He gripped my elbow firmly. "Let's see if we can get you moving in the traffic without suffering another near-death experience."
He skated around to stand in front of me, taking both my hands. "Okay, now, bend your knees a bit." I followed his instructions. "That's it. Now, look at me, not the ice. It's not going anywhere. Push off gently with one foot and then the other."
Finn was a patient teacher. We slowly began to move across the ice. He skated backward while I did my best to avoid taking us both down.
"There you go." He grinned. "You're getting it."
As we began to move around the rink, I started to relax. My shoulders were less tense, and the glide of my skates made me smile. I focused on Finn's bright smile.
After we finished our second lap around the rink, he slowed us to a stop. "Ready to try it on your own?"
I gripped his hands tightly. "I… I don't know."
"You've got it. I'll be right here if you need me. I'll be close enough to catch you."
We began to move again, and he slowly released my hands. At first, I imagined I was like a tightrope walker without a net, but then I pushed off a little harder with one foot and then the other as Finn taught me. I was skating. It was still a little shaky, and I had none of the grace of my hockey-playing friends, but I managed to move forward under my own power.
"Look at you go! You'll be doing triple axels in no time." Finn continued to skate backward ahead of me.
I laughed. "Let's not jump ahead too far. I'll settle for staying vertical for the moment."
As we slowly glided around the rink, I watched a woman in a puffy jacket approach Quinn. He slowed down to meet her, and I took it as an opportunity for a breather along the edge of the rink.
"Oh, my God, are you Quinn O'Reilly?" she blurted out and nearly lost her balance when she skated to an abrupt stop.
I tensed, aware of how quickly it could all mushroom into an online celebrity sighting mess. Fortunately, Quinn had it under control.
"That's me." He reached out for her forearm to gently help steady her. "Are you out here celebrating the New Year?"
"Yes, and I'm such a big fan of the Lumberjacks. I can't believe you're here—like a real person and everything." She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. "Would it be okay if—"
Quinn smoothly blocked the phone camera before she could finish her question. "How about I help you do better than a simple selfie? What's your name?"
The interaction was fascinating, and I couldn't look away. "Amber," she breathed.
Quinn's natural charm oozed out in his voice. "Amber, would you like to join me in a top-secret New Year mission?"
She nodded eagerly and then looked to her right, suddenly noticing the rest of us.
Leaning in close, Quinn adopted a conspiratorial tone. "See, we're trying to have a fun night out, incognito, but you spotted me with sharp eyes. I appreciate serious fans who can do that, but here's the deal. If you keep our skating adventure under wraps for tonight, I'll record a personalized video greeting and post it on Insta tomorrow. You can share that with all your friends. Have we got a deal?"
"Really?" Amber's face lit up. "That would be fantastic. Cheryl's gonna be so jealous."
"Excellent." Quinn shared his social media account with Amber. "Remember, this is classified information until tomorrow. Think you can handle it, Agent Amber?"
Amber nodded. She tried to hold a serious expression, but her beaming smile broke through. "Your secret is safe with me, Mr. O'Reilly."
He reached out to shake hands. "Please, call me Quinn. Now, enjoy the rest of your skating, and a Happy New Year!"
As Amber skated off, Quinn's smooth handling of the situation blew me away. He took control of the situation without skipping a beat.
"And that, gentlemen, is how it's done." He turned to us and took a bow.
Axel rolled his eyes. "Show-off."
"Hey, I can't help it. I'm good at stuff like this. Did you see how happy she was? Being recognized can be good if it lights up their whole night."
I nodded. "Not just tonight. You made her whole year, Q."
While Quinn and Finn headed off to buy hot cocoa for the four of us, Axel gently elbowed me. "Let's take a lap. Are you good with that?"
"Yeah, I think so." My skating was still wobbly, but I was pretty sure I could stay upright. We glided along at the outside edge, silent in each other's company.
Axel finally spoke up. "So, you and the rookie, huh?"
I grinned. "Yeah, just like you and your rookie. Does it meet with your approval?"
He snorted. "Wouldn't matter if it didn't, but yeah, I'm good with it." He grabbed my elbow, and we stopped for a moment. "You look happy. Both of you do. That's what's important."
"I am happy, but I'm terrified, too."
Axel nodded. "That's love for you. It's scarier than any enforcer I've ever dealt with in a game."
I nearly stumbled when he uttered the four-letter word. "I didn't say—"
"You didn't have to. Look, I'm no genius at all this emotional crap, but here's what I do know. You can't control how other people will react to any of this. Remember that. All you can do is be true to yourself and do your best to show that man how you feel. He needs to know you're there."
We started to skate again and rounded the curve in the oval. I spotted Finn laughing at something in his conversation with Quinn.
I slowed slightly, happy to hear any wisdom Axel had to share. "But what if I screw it up?"
"Then you fuck up. None of us are perfect, but you get up, dust yourself off, apologize, and pledge to do better. That's all you can do." He glanced at me, and I saw a rare smile on his lips. "For what it's worth, though, I think the two of you stand a good chance of making it."
As we all met again, Finn skated up to my side and took my hand.
"Thanks," I whispered to Axel.
He nodded and asked his big question of the night. "Alright, who's buying the next round? I need something stronger than cocoa to deal with having to watch Moretti's skating."
We all laughed. It was an alcohol-free, family-friendly event. Axel would have to wait.
As midnight approached, we found a spot on a bench away from the bulk of the crowd. Finn slipped his arm around my waist and leaned his head on my shoulder. Anxiety bubbled just beneath the surface for me. I was one of the luckiest men on the face of the earth at the moment, but my inner demons wouldn't let me enjoy it in complete peace.
"Any resolutions for the New Year?" Finn asked as I watched his breath form puffy clouds in the cold air.
I should have considered the question for longer, but I blurted out what first came to mind: "Work harder, be better, and figure out how to deserve you."
Finn frowned and faced me. "Moose, you don't have to—"
The crowd interrupted us with the final countdown. "Ten!"
"Nine!"
Trying to address Finn's concern, I started, "I just mean—"
"Eight!"
"Seven!"
Finn shook his head. "You're already—"
"Six!"
"Five!"
The crowd's energy intensified, but I could only concentrate on Finn's stare.
"Four!"
"Three!"
I took a deep breath. "I-"
"Two!"
"One!"
"Happy New Year!"
The words didn't come. As massive cheers erupted around us, I pulled Finn close and kissed him. Confetti flew, and the crowd began to sing "Auld Lang Syne."
I focused on the lingering taste of cocoa on Finn's lips. He cupped my cheek gently.
When the kiss finally ended, his eyes shone like the brightest stars in the night sky. "Happy New Year, Moose."
"Happy New Year." I did my best to force a broad smile.
The moment should have been perfect. I'd shared a kiss with a wonderful man who promised a new beginning in my life. It was all that I wanted, but after the initial excitement faded, it became overwhelming. The new year stretched out before me, and all I could think about was how the chubby kid had to make everybody happy for them to want him around.
What if I failed at my new job? What if my best wasn't good enough for Finn? What if the media found out about our relationship, and it ruined his career? Quinn and Axel survived that, but they were much tougher than me.
"Hey," Finn's voice cut through the spiraling thoughts. "Are you still with me?"
I blinked and focused on his handsome face. "Sorry, I was just thinking about everything to come in the new year."
Finn's brow furrowed. "You know, about what you said earlier. You don't have to prove anything to me. There's no reason I'm with you other than I want to be. You've already earned it. Just be yourself. That's what I want."
He was trying hard to reassure me, and maybe it helped a little bit, but it wasn't just Finn. It was everything at once, all coming together like I could finally keep all the balls in the air while juggling. What if I dropped one?
"I know. I get it, and I just want this year to be great for both of us."
Finn took my hand again and looked me in the eye. "It will be. We'll make sure it is."