15. Moose
Chapter fifteen
Moose
I paced the length of my living room, each step a battle against the urge to retreat. The floorboards creaked beneath my feet, a Greek chorus to my anxiety. Finn sat in my favorite armchair, his presence both comforting and nerve-wracking.
"What if this ruins everything?" I blurted out, stopping to face him. "The team, my job, our careers... hell, even my knitting circle might kick me out."
Finn's eyebrows shot up. "Your knitting circle? Moose, I've met them. Half of them are wearing rainbow yarn bracelets."
I waved my hand dismissively. "That's not the point. The point is..." I trailed off, struggling to articulate the fear gnawing at my insides.
"The point is you're scared," Finn finished for me, his voice gentle. "And that's okay. I'm scared too."
I sank onto the couch, the leather cool against my palms. "You are? But you always seem so... confident about this stuff."
Finn leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Confident? I'm terrified. You think I'm not worried about how this could affect my spot on the team? Or what my family back in Minnesota will say?"
His admission caught me off guard. "I... I guess I hadn't thought about that. You always seem so sure of yourself."
A wry smile twisted Finn's lips. "Yeah, well, fake it 'til you make it, right? But the truth is, every time I step on the ice, I'm scared they'll finally realize I'm too small, too slow, not good enough."
"But that's ridiculous," I protested. "You're one of the fastest skaters I've ever seen. And your work ethic is insane."
"And you," Finn countered, "are one of the smartest, funniest, most caring people I know. But that doesn't stop you from doubting yourself, does it?"
I felt my cheeks flush. "I... no, I guess it doesn't."
Finn stood and crossed the room, sitting next to me on the couch. He took my hand in his, the fingers intertwining with mine. "Look, I can't promise this will be easy. But I can promise you won't be doing it alone."
I squeezed his hand, drawing strength from his touch. "How do you always know the right thing to say?"
He shrugged, a hint of his usual mischief returning to his eyes. "Must be all those romance novels I borrow from your secret stash."
I gasped in mock outrage. "Those are for research purposes only!"
Finn laughed, the sound easing some of the tension in my chest. "Sure they are, big guy. Sure they are."
We sat in comfortable silence for a moment, the weight of what we were about to do settling over us. Finally, I took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's talk through this. What exactly are we going to say to the team?"
Finn nodded, his expression turning serious. "Well, why don't you give it a go, and I can let you know how it sounds."
I stood, my legs unsteady beneath me. "Okay, let's do this. You be Coach Fraser, I'll be... well, me."
Finn nodded, squaring his shoulders and adopting a gruff expression that was a surprisingly good imitation of the coach. "Alright, Moretti, what's this meeting about? No more seaweed snacks. I've got a practice to run here."
I cleared my throat, willing my voice not to shake. "Coach, team, I... we... have something important to tell you."
I faltered, the words sticking in my throat. Finn dropped the Coach Fraser act, his eyes softening. "It's okay, Moose. Take your time."
I nodded, took a deep breath, and started again. "Coach, team, Finn and I have something important to share. We're in a relationship. We've been together for a few months now, and it's serious."
Finn smiled encouragingly. "That's good. Maybe add something about how it won't affect the team?"
"Right," I agreed. "We wanted to be open with you all because we value the trust and support of this team. Our relationship doesn't change our commitment to the Lumberjacks or our dedication to helping the team win."
"Perfect," Finn said. "Now, how about we address some potential concerns?"
I nodded, feeling more confident. "We understand this might come as a surprise, and you may have questions or concerns. We're open to discussing those, but we ask for your respect and support."
Finn stood, resuming his Coach Fraser impression. "And what about the media? The fans? Have you thought about how this could affect the team's image?"
I felt a flicker of panic, but pushed through it. "We have considered those aspects, Coach. We're not planning on making any grand public statements. Our focus is on being honest with our team and letting our play on the ice speak for itself."
Finn broke character, beaming at me. "That was great. You sounded really confident."
I let out a shaky laugh. "Yeah? Because my knees feel like jelly."
Finn stepped closer, placing his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, it's okay to be nervous. But you've got this. We've got this."
I nodded, drawing strength from his touch. "Okay, your turn. Let's hear what you're going to say."
Finn took a step back, centering himself. "Alright, here goes. Coach, team, as Moose said, we're in a relationship. I know this might be unexpected, the whole thing of a crossover between a player and someone in the front office, but it doesn't change who I am as a player or a teammate. I'm still the same guy who stays late after practice and gives everything on the ice."
I felt a surge of pride listening to him. "That's really good. Maybe add something about how you're not asking for special treatment?"
Finn nodded. "Good idea. How about: We're not looking for special treatment or to cause any disruption. We just want to be honest with you all and continue to be part of this team."
"Perfect," I said, feeling some of my earlier anxiety start to dissipate. "And if they ask about, you know, locker room stuff?"
Finn's face turned serious. "We address it head-on. We say something like: We understand there might be concerns about locker room dynamics. We want to assure you that we've been professional all along, and that won't change. Our relationship stays off the ice and out of the locker room."
I nodded, impressed. "Wow, you've really thought this through, huh?"
Finn shrugged, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. "Well, yeah. This is important. You're important."
His words warmed me from the inside out. I pulled him into a hug, marveling at how perfectly he fit against me despite our size difference. "You're important too, you know. So important."
His words hit me like a gentle wave, and I pulled him into a tight embrace. "We've got this," I murmured into his hair.
As we broke apart, I noticed the time on the clock. "We should get going. Don't want to be late."
I offered Finn my hand. "Ready to face the firing squad?"
He took my hand, letting me pull him to his feet. "With you? Always."
We gathered our things and headed for the door. Just before we left, I paused, my hand on the doorknob. I turned to Finn, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and determination.
"Finn?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
The smile that lit up his face was brighter than any spotlight I'd ever stood under.