Chapter 21
Carolina sat at the table with a mug of coffee cradled between her hands as she stared out the window, lost in thought. The early morning light cast a glow upon her, and Joe realized she was still very pretty. Her eyes, however, were tired and troubled.
“Mom.”
Jolted out of her thoughts, Carolina glanced up at him, her gaze filled with unusual trepidation that did nothing for his already out-of-control nerves.
“You’re up early,” Carolina said.
“Janey told me there’s something you need to talk to me about.” He watched her glance at Janey and then back at him. “Sit, honey. Can I get you some coffee?”
“No, I don’t want any damned coffee. I want someone to tell me what the hell is going on.”
Unaccustomed to such an outburst from him, both women seemed surprised.
Joe immediately regretted the harsh words but not enough to apologize. He sat next to his mother, took the mug and covered her hands with his. “Tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together the way we always have.”
“Oh, honey. I so hope you mean that.”
“I do mean it. Why wouldn’t I?”
Janey sat at the table and folded her hands in front of her.
Filled with trepidation, Joe looked from his mother to his wife and back at his mother, waiting…
“I…um, remember when Seamus told you he was resigning and—”
“Is that what you’re worried about? I told you I’d take care of it, and I will.”
“No, Joseph. Listen. Just listen. Please.”
She only called him Joseph at the most important moments. Releasing her hands, he sat back against his chair, vibrating with tension.
Carolina cleared her throat. “He… He told you he was leaving for personal reasons.”
“Yeah, so?”
She looked him right in the eye. “I’m the personal reason.”
Joe had no idea what she was talking about. “What do you mean?” He shot a glance at Janey, who was intently studying her hands on the table.
“Seamus and I…”
All at once, Joe got exactly what she meant. He stood up so quickly his chair toppled backward, making both women gasp. “What the hell are you saying?” he asked as he picked up the chair.
“Joe.” The single word from Janey and the way she said his name brought him back to earlier when he’d promised to remember what his mother had given up for him.
“What’re you saying?” he asked again, more rationally this time, though he felt anything but rational.
“Seamus and I… We have feelings for each other.”
Joe saw red as he thought of the trust he’d put in Seamus, and to think, while his back had been turned—
“Whatever you’re thinking,” Carolina said in her stern mother voice, “it’s probably unkind toward Seamus, and I won’t stand for that. He hasn’t betrayed your trust or acted less than honorably or any of the things you’re no doubt thinking. If anything, I’m the one who’s been guilty of all that.”
Janey gasped with surprise. “I don’t believe that, Carolina.”
“Well, it’s true. He was never anything other than kind and wonderful to me, and in return, I treated him as if he’d done something shameful by caring about me. That was wrong of me.”
Joe gripped the back of the chair so tightly his knuckles turned white.
After a long, uncomfortable silence, Carolina looked up at her son. “Would you please say something?”
“When did this happen?”
“Last fall. When I planned to come out here, but the boats were canceled—”
“It happened at my house?”
She never wavered when she said, “Yes, but I want you to know I didn’t see him again afterward, except for once at a party at Luke and Syd’s. I told him it couldn’t happen, because…”
“Because why?”
Her mouth twisted into an ironic little smile. “Because of you, Joe, among other things.”
“Me? What did I have to do with it?”
“Joseph… You… God, you’re everything. I knew it would upset you—the age difference, the fact that he’s your employee, the trust you’d placed in him, your ideas about me, and how I should behave.”
“I don’t have ideas about you. What does that even mean?”
“I knew you wouldn’t approve,” she said quietly.
“I…” His chest felt tight, and suddenly he had to get out of there or risk saying something he wouldn’t be able to take back. “I have to go.”
“Where?” Janey asked, alarmed.
“Somewhere. Anywhere. I have to go.”
Carolina stood. “Joe, wait.”
“No, I have to go.” He rushed through the house and out the door, taking deep breaths of the cool morning air as he climbed into his truck. The tires made spinning noises as he pulled out of the driveway and headed for town.
“We need to go after him,” Carolina said to Janey as the truck peeled out of the driveway.
“No,” Janey said, somehow remaining calm despite the storm of emotion. “We need to let him work this out in his own way.”
“Even if that means he’s looking for blood from Seamus?”
“I don’t think he’ll do that.”
Carolina raised a brow. “Did you think he’d break David’s nose?”
“No, but—”
“We need to go after him.” Carolina grabbed her keys off the counter. “Are you with me?”
Janey sighed, recognizing defeat when she saw it. “I’m with you.”
Navigating the first boat from the mainland through the morning fog, Seamus guzzled coffee and tried to stay focused on the task of staring into the murkiness while keeping a careful eye on all his navigational aids.
He’d passed another sleepless night fretting over Carolina telling Joe about them and wondering if they were making a huge mistake by telling him, or if they might be paving the way for a possible future together.
Stop. Don’t even go there until you know for sure. The idea of a future with her was so tantalizing, so delightfully overwhelming that it literally hurt to think about it, especially when it remained possible that her son’s disapproval would derail the whole thing.
He’d never been more relieved to see the breakwater to South Harbor as it emerged from the fog.
Before he left the island on the two o’clock boat, he’d check in with Carolina to see what was going on.
Otherwise, the waiting would certainly kill him.
He walked to the aft controls, backed the ferry smoothly into port and waited until the cars began driving off the boat before he locked up the control box and returned to the wheelhouse to gather his belongings and fill in the ship’s log.
After a stop in the main office to check in with the employees there, he headed across the parking lot to his office, determined to wade through the work he’d been putting off for a week now—anything to take his mind off his worries.
He was so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he was through the office door before he noticed Joe sitting behind the desk with a stormy expression on his face.
Seamus stopped short, uncertain of whether he should proceed into the office or turn and run for his life.
As appealing as the latter option was, he forced himself to stay put and face the music head-on.
“Joe.”
“Seamus.”
“What brings you into town so early?”
“What do you think?”
Filled with nervous energy, Seamus removed his Gansett Island Ferry Company ball cap and ran a hand through his hair. “I imagine you’ve had a talk with your mum.”
“Indeed I have.”
Since this was Joe’s show, Seamus withheld comment and waited on him.
“What I’d like to know is where you get off thinking it’s all right to take up with my mother.”
Seamus knew it wasn’t wise to laugh right then, but damned if he could help the chuckle that escaped from his lips.
Joe’s expression grew even stormier, if that was possible. “I fail to see what’s funny about this situation.”
“No, I bet you don’t. There’s nothing funny about it, trust me. What’s amusing is that you think I somehow had control over it.”
“Of course you had control over it! You’re a grown man, for Christ’s sake.”
“’Tis true, I am, which is why for a whole year I hid the instant attraction I felt for your mum from everyone—even her.
The day I met her…” Seamus shook his head in amazement.
He’d never forget the moment her eyes met his for the first time and the absolute certainty he’d experienced that she would somehow change his life.
“It was quite something,” was all he said to Joe.
“I don’t understand—”
Seamus tilted his head and smiled. “Don’t you?”
Joe snorted with disgust. “Don’t even try to compare this to me and Janey.”
“Why not? Didn’t you too yearn for a woman you couldn’t have?”
“Yes, but—”
“Love is love, Joe. I love your mom. I want to be with her. I want to make her happy and take care of her. How is that any different from what you feel for Janey?”
“She’s a lot older than you, for one thing.”
“Is she?” Seamus asked, feigning shock. “I had no idea!”
“Stop trying to be funny. This isn’t funny.”
“Stop acting like a little boy who’s miffed because his mum got a boyfriend behind his back.”
Joe stood and seemed to be fighting the urge to charge at Seamus. “I’m not doing that!”
“Don’t you want your mum to be happy?”
“Of course I do! But what happens a few years down the road when you decide being with an older woman isn’t working for you anymore? Or you want kids of your own? What happens then?”
“What happens a few years down the road when you decide being with Janey isn’t as great as you thought it would be?”
“That’ll never happen! I love her with everything I am. What does that have to do with what we’re talking about?”
Seamus only smiled and watched as the realization settled into Joe’s expression and his demeanor.
“You love her that much?” Joe asked in a whisper.
“I love her that much.”
They stood for a long time, hands on hips, neither of them blinking, until Joe finally looked away, eyes cast downward. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about this.”
Seamus was trying to think of what he should say to that when Carolina rushed into the office.
“Oh thank God,” she said, breathing as if she’d been running. “You didn’t hit him.” This was directed at Joe, who scowled at his mother.
“No, I didn’t hit him.” Glancing at Seamus, he added, “But I wanted to.”
Janey waddled in, red-faced and panting. “Did he hit him?”
“Not you, too,” Joe said.