Chapter 22
The party was a smashing success, Jenny decided, as she sat on Alex’s lap in a chair at the fire pit while Evan and Owen played for them.
Ned and Francine had taken Ashleigh and Thomas home for a sleepover, and Holden and Hailey were sleeping inside in a portable crib with a baby monitor attached to Maddie’s hip.
Paul and Jared had come and seemed to be having a great time, which made Jenny happy she’d invited them.
Together, they celebrated Dan and Kara’s happy news and enjoyed the retelling of her confrontation with the sister who’d hurt her so badly.
Jenny couldn’t imagine one of her beloved sisters doing such a thing to her, and it had made her smile to hear that Kara had gotten the chance to tell off her sister.
Jenny’s group of friends had reacted with surprise and pleasure to the fact that she and Alex were a couple now.
He’d behaved admirably when she talked to Jared.
There’d been no comments, scowls or other signs of the green-eyed monster, for which she was grateful.
She appreciated that he understood that was something she didn’t find attractive and was trying to change.
Paul left at eleven to go home to relieve the friend who’d stayed with his mom so he could go out for a while. Alex had offered to go, but Paul insisted he stay and enjoy the time with Jenny.
“He’s being really cool about everything,” Alex said after his brother left.
“He told me I’m good for you.”
“Did he? Well, you are. I’m glad he sees that, too.”
Jenny dropped her head onto his shoulder, loving the feel of his strong arms around her and the clean, sexy scent of him filling her senses.
As she sat on his lap in front of the fire with her closest friends surrounding her, the sky above filled with stars and Evan and Owen’s music providing a backdrop to endless conversation, Jenny realized she was truly content for the first time since Toby died.
Alex was a big part of the reason for her contentment, but so too were her wonderful friends, her lighthouse and the island where they lived together. As she looked up at the stars, she hoped Toby was looking down at her and was pleased with the life she’d made for herself.
She had the dream again that night. As always, Toby appeared in living, breathing color, so vital and alive, so handsome in a custom-made suit.
He got up from breakfast, put his cereal bowl in the dishwasher and poured coffee into a travel mug.
Then he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and returned with the bag he carried to work.
He came over to her and bent to kiss her cheek and then her lips when Jenny turned her face up to him. Looking down at her, his eyes bright with excitement, he said, “I’ve been thinking.”
Jenny held her breath as if she were a third party watching the dream unfold. She’d never gotten this far. She always woke up at the kiss.
“What about?” she asked.
“You should go off the pill now.”
Flabbergasted, she stared up at him. “We said we were going to wait a year.”
“I don’t want to wait. I want everything right now—you, us, our baby. I want it all. Will you think about it?”
Still stunned, she nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’ll think about it.”
“Good,” he said with that irrepressible smile. He knew she was powerless to say no to him when he looked at her that way. “Gotta go. Love you, honey.”
“Love you, too.”
He came back from the door. “One more kiss.”
Amused by him, Jenny hooked her arm around his neck and lost herself in the kiss, opening her mouth to the thrusts of his tongue.
And then he pulled back, looking down at her with eyes gone glassy with desire. “Mmm. I’ll need more of that later.”
“You got it. Have a good day.”
“You, too.” After one last short kiss, he was out the door. Gone. Forever.
Jenny woke up sobbing, gasping for breath as the memories flooded her, overwhelming her with the sweetness, the poignancy and the unbearable sadness. And somehow she knew, in her heart of hearts, that she wouldn’t have the dream again and felt like she’d lost him all over again.
Her sobs woke Alex. “What, baby? What’s wrong?”
She was crying so hard she couldn’t speak for a long time.
He held her in his arms, rubbing her back and whispering words of comfort that went straight to her heart.
“I had the dream again,” she said as soon as she was able. “I finally remembered what he said that morning.”
“Oh God, Jenny. Do you want to tell me? I’d understand if you didn’t…”
“I want to tell you.” She took several breaths and wiped the tears from her face before she related their last words to him. “All this time… I couldn’t remember. I knew it was something big, but I didn’t know what. And now…”
“Now you know, and it hurts almost as much as it did the first day.”
“Yes.” That he understood was an incredible gift at a time when she desperately needed it.
Her heartbroken sobs filled the room. He held her until there were no tears left, until her head throbbed and her eyes ached from crying.
“Why do you suppose I remembered that the same night you and I talked about children?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you were finally ready to hear what he said?”
“I suppose.”
“He was so lucky that you loved him as much as you did. That you continue to love him all these years later. That’s an incredible thing.”
“I’ll always love him.”
“I know, baby, and so does he. That’s why he decided to finally set you free. He wants you to be happy.”
Tears continued to roll slowly down her face. Jenny made no effort to wipe them away. “Do you really believe that?”
“I really do.”
“That means a lot to me.” She kissed his chest. “And I’m glad you’re here. It helps.”
“I’m glad, too. I’d never want you to go through anything so painful alone.” He continued to caress her back in small, soothing circles. “Do you think you can go back to sleep?”
“I don’t know.”
“Want to go for a walk or a ride on the bike or something to clear your mind?”
“If it’s okay, I think I’d rather just stay here with you.”
With his arms tight around her, he kissed her forehead. “It’s more than okay.”
On Monday evening, Jenny met her parents at the ferry and took them for pizza at Mario’s before bringing them to see her lighthouse, which they absolutely loved.
“The pictures don’t do it justice, honey,” her mother said. “It’s incredible.”
“I love it.”
“We can see why,” her dad said, taking a close look at her the way he had since her life fell apart. He was always on the lookout for cracks in her veneer. “You look wonderful. I haven’t seen you look so good in… It’s been a while.”
“Yes, it has. Come have a seat. I have stuff to tell you.” Over coffee and dessert, she told them about Alex and how excited she was to have found the same sense of connection she’d had once before.
“Oh, Jenny,” her mom said with a deep sigh as she dabbed at her eyes. “You have no idea how much we’ve hoped to hear you say that. It’s not that you haven’t done fine on your own, but you have so much love to give. And we were hoping… Well, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I think he might be the one.” As it had every time since, her belly quivered when she remembered him saying how cute their kids would be.
“Wow,” her dad said. “And this happened recently?”
“Yes, and I know what you’re going to say—”
“You know what we would’ve said once upon a time when you were too young to know your own heart. But we’d never say that now.”
“Thanks, Mom,” Jenny said softly. “I wouldn’t have gotten through this without you guys and Emma and Leah. You’ve kept me going.”
“We’ve taken our cues from you, honey. Your strength has been our strength.”
Her father nodded in agreement.
“When do we get to meet your Alex?”
“Tomorrow night at dinner.”
“We can’t wait.”
Jenny drove them to the McCarthy’s hotel a short time later and sent a text to Alex before she pulled out of the parking lot.
Coast is clear.
On my way, but I can’t stay over. Paul has an early meeting.
I’ll take what I can get.
Mmmmmm…
He was there when she got home, and she ran to him, thrilled to see him after the long day without him. She was in so deep and getting deeper all the time. He scooped her up and spun her around, kissing her hard.
“Let’s swim.”
“I’ll go change.”
“Let’s do it my way.” He put her down and turned his back to her, bending at the knees. “Hop on.”
Jenny put her hands on his shoulders, and he lifted her onto him piggyback style. As he walked them across the lawn, she kissed and nibbled his neck.
“I’m going to drop you if you keep that up.”
“You won’t drop me,” she said confidently.
“No, I won’t.”
They reached the beach, and he put her down.
Before she knew what hit her, they were on the sand, wrapped up in each other and kissing with heated desperation.
The frenzy of their embrace knocked every thought from her mind that didn’t involve the sweep of his tongue in her mouth and the press of his rigid cock against her belly.
“I thought I was going nuts waiting for you to text me,” he whispered as he kissed his way to the upper slope of her breasts, tugging her tank top down as he went. “All I have to do is think about you, and I’m hard as a fucking rock.”
Fueled by the desperation she heard in his voice, she reached down to cup him and discovered he was, in fact, hard as a rock. His groan seemed to come from the deepest part of him, making his chest rumble against hers.
“I thought you wanted to swim,” she said.
“I do, but that’s not all I want.” He started pulling at her clothes, making her laugh at his fumbling attempts to get her naked.
“Quit laughing at me and help.”
“Why? It’s fun to laugh at you.”
Working together, they stripped each other of denim and cotton and lace. When they were naked, he moved fast, hauling her over his shoulder and running for the water as she screamed with laughter.
“This is what you get for laughing at me.”
“Alex! Don’t!”
But of course he did, and when she came up for air, she blew a mouthful of water in his face.