Chapter 2
This is a fool’s errand, Elisabeth Sutter decided, the wind whipping through her hair as she stood at the bow of the ferry and watched Gansett Island come into view.
After all, nothing had changed since she’d last seen Jared.
He was still richer than God, and she still had no desire to be married to that kind of money.
Sure, money made everything easier, but sometimes it made things too easy and far too crazy for her liking.
If only she could’ve forgotten about him, the real him, the man behind the money, the man she’d fallen desperately in love with and then tried to let go of because it had seemed like the right thing to do.
How wrong she’d been. She’d known almost immediately that she’d made a terrible mistake.
The look on his face when he realized she was declining his beautiful proposal…
That look was now seared permanently into her memory bank, along with the pain she’d seen in the incredibly expressive eyes that had always gazed at her with pure love.
That she could’ve done that to him… It still made her sick to think about the pain she’d caused him, the pain she’d caused them both. If only she hadn’t been so hasty to reject him. If only she’d taken a minute to process her thoughts before reacting so negatively. If only, if only.
It had taken nearly six weeks of daily visits to his office before his personal assistant had finally buckled and told her where he was.
Elisabeth hadn’t even known about the house on Gansett Island, which more or less proved her point about why their relationship would never work long term.
Sometimes she felt as though there was more about him she didn’t know than what she did know.
And what she knew of him, she loved. That was the simple truth she’d lived with since the last time she saw him.
She loved him. After the last disastrous evening they’d spent together, she’d tried to talk herself out of loving him.
Not loving him was easier, cleaner, simpler.
Their lifestyles were as diametrically different as two lives could be.
She was low-budget, low-key, low-maintenance. He was all cash, dash and flash.
And she loved him.
Elisabeth blew out a deep breath that was swallowed by the breeze whipping her hair into knots as the ferry closed the distance between the mainland and Gansett. By now, he probably hated her and had forgotten all the reasons why he’d once wanted to marry her.
That was why she thought of this as a fool’s errand.
What good could possibly come of showing up out of the blue forty days after she’d rejected him so profoundly?
What was she thinking coming here? What did she hope to achieve?
None of the things that truly mattered had changed.
He still had more money than God, according to her, and she was still unwilling to change who she was to suit his billionaire lifestyle.
She ran a homeless shelter, for crying out loud.
How did that jibe with the life of a Wall Street tycoon who made money as effortlessly as most people breathed?
From the very start she’d found their divergent paths in life to be comical—and worrisome.
They’d joked about their differences as they’d gotten to know each other.
But the longer they were together, the more glaring the differences had become.
He hadn’t cared about any of that. He’d told her he’d give her anything and everything she wanted if only she’d marry him and vow to love him forever. She’d begun shaking her head before he’d even finished his proposal.
Elisabeth’s eyes burned with tears that couldn’t be blamed on the wind.
She feared that negative head shake would turn out to be the single greatest mistake she’d ever make in her life.
Somehow, some way, she had to tell him that.
He needed to know that she regretted it.
She wasn’t sure she was willing to change her answer, but she couldn’t let him think she didn’t love him.
That was why she’d taken four trains every day for weeks to get to his office.
His assistant, Marcy, always knew where he was.
He’d told her that the first week they met.
If ever she couldn’t get in touch with him, call Marcy, he’d said.
Marcy had standing orders to put through Elisabeth’s calls no matter what she might be interrupting.
Elisabeth had felt honored that he wanted to hear from her so badly that he didn’t care if she interrupted his work. Marcy had been far less accommodating after the “disaster,” as Elisabeth thought of that night on the rooftop when she’d ruined everything with the shake of her head.
Marcy had made her work for it, finally relenting when Elisabeth begged her to tell her where Jared was so she could attempt to fix the awful mess she’d made of things.
“If you hurt him again,” Marcy had said as she handed over the slip of paper that contained the one thing Elisabeth needed more than anything, “I’ll find you, and I’ll kill you. ”
“I understand,” Elisabeth had said, knowing she deserved nothing less than death threats from Jared’s faithful employee and friend.
“I don’t think you do,” Marcy had said. “But when you go there and you see him, you’ll get it, and you’ll know I mean it.”
Marcy’s statement indicated the breakup had been as bad for him as it’d been for her—probably worse, in fact, because he didn’t know she still loved him as much as she ever had.
He didn’t know that she regretted her actions that night more than she’d ever regretted anything.
He didn’t know that she’d give everything she had—which wasn’t much—to go back in time to rewrite the outcome of that night.
Watching the ferry dock in the picturesque port of Gansett, Elisabeth felt like she was going to be sick. The sun had dipped toward the horizon during her passage, casting a warm orangey glow over the town as people followed the cars and bikes off the boat.
“This is it,” she whispered to herself as she stepped foot onto Gansett Island for the first time.
She knew a moment of complete paralysis as she tried to figure out her next move.
And then she shook it off and made her way to the taxi line, where a friendly looking older man with a shock of white hair and bright blue eyes waved her over to his woody station wagon.
“Give ya a lift?” he asked. His eyes lit up with mirth when he smiled, and his friendliness provided some badly needed comfort.
“Yes, please.” Elisabeth handed him the slip of paper on which Marcy had written Jared’s island address.
The cabbie let out a low whistle. “Nice place.” With a courtly bow, he opened the back door for her and held it until she was settled.
Elisabeth wasn’t surprised to hear that Jared’s place was nice.
Of course it was. It was probably the nicest house on the entire island.
He wouldn’t settle for anything less than the best. That was one of his personal mottos—and one she’d often taken issue with as she taught him the fine art of bargain living in the city.
“Where ya here from?” the kindly driver asked in a charming New England accent.
“New York City.”
“Long way from home. Not much of nothin’ here compared ta there.”
How could she tell him that everything that mattered to her was here? “It’s very pretty.”
“That it tis. What brings ya ta our little island?”
“I’m coming to see a friend, and I’m hoping he’ll be glad to see me.” Now she was sharing her personal business with a perfect stranger, proof she’d gone totally around the bend.
“He’d be a fool ta not be happy ta see a pretty gal like yerself.”
Elisabeth smiled for the first time in longer than she could remember and caught his wink in the rearview mirror.
“He’s not too happy with me at the moment, so he may not be glad to see me.
” There was something about the older man, something sweet and compassionate, that had her telling him the whole sordid tale.
“Well, now,” he said, “I can see why ya think he might not be happy ta see ya after all that.”
His words deflated the tiny bit of optimism she’d carried with her on this fool’s errand.
“However, it’s quite possible he’ll be thrilled ta see ya, ’specially if yer here ta make things right with him.”
“I want to make things right, if I can. I just hope it’s not too late.”
“If he loves ya, really, really loves ya, it’s never too late.”
Just like that she was once again filled with optimism, because the one thing she was absolutely sure of was that before she’d screwed it all up, Jared James had really, really loved her.
The driver used his blinker to signal a right turn into a long driveway.
“Here ya are, honey.” Jared’s prized Porsche and several other cars were parked in front of the garage, so the cab driver stopped behind them and put his car in park.
He turned to face her and handed her a business card.
“If things don’t work out the way ya want them ta, ya call me, and I’ll come back fer ya. ”
Touched by his sweetness, Elisabeth glanced at the card. “Thank you, Ned. I’m Elisabeth, and I really appreciate you listening to my blathering.”
“Not at’all, Lisbeth. I got two girls of my own. I understand the need ta talk it out.”
“I guess you do.” Elisabeth eyed Jared’s big, beautiful contemporary home with trepidation. “Now that I’m here, I’m sort of scared of what might happen.”
“If ya don’t go in, ya’ll never know.”
“Here goes nothing,” Elisabeth said as she reached for the door handle. “Oh my goodness, I’m about to get out and I haven’t paid you!”
“Go on, doll. ’Twas my pleasure to bring ya here.”
“I wouldn’t feel right.”
“Ya’ll hurt my feelins if ya try to pay me.”
“Well, if you put it that way…”
“I insist.”
“Thank you so much—for the ride and the ear.” Elisabeth got out of the car, toting her purse and the backpack she’d brought on the outside chance that he didn’t turn her away. She’d have to find somewhere to stay if he did. The last ferry left in an hour.
While she stared at the house, Ned received a call for a ride from the dispatcher. “I’m a phone call away if ya need anything while yer here.”
“Thanks again.”
He backed out of the driveway and left with a wave as Elisabeth stood there stupidly trying to muster the courage to see this mission through to the bitter end.
She followed music to the back of the house, where she encountered a party in progress.
Actually, calling it a party would be generous.
Jared was entertaining two blonde women in bikinis in the pool.
They were playing an animated game of volleyball with an oversize beach ball.
He was laughing at something one of them said.
As she stood frozen in place, he picked up one of the women by the waist and tossed her into the deep end. She came up sputtering and swam after him, clearly seeking revenge as he howled with laughter and tried to dodge her efforts to catch him.
Elisabeth couldn’t look away from his handsome, smiling face as he dove away from the woman who sought revenge.
Clearly, he was getting along just fine without her.
She forced herself to look away, to stop staring at him like the lovesick idiot she had no right to be.
She’d come here looking for closure, and she’d gotten it.
He’d moved on. That was good. The thought of him heartbroken and decimated by her rejection was not the image of him she wanted to carry with her into the lonely future that stretched out before her.
Tears rolled down her face as she turned and walked back to the main road, clutching Ned’s card in her hand. Fumbling with her cell phone, she placed the call. Thankfully, he didn’t ask any questions and told her to wait for him by the mailbox, that he’d be back as soon as he could get there.
He didn’t express sympathy or anything else that would take her over the edge she was clinging to with her fingertips.
Tears slipped from her eyes, and she brushed them away angrily.
What right did she have to cry over him frolicking in a pool with two gorgeous blondes?
She’d made her own bed. Now she’d have to lie in it alone.