Chapter 15
Victoria called them back a few minutes later. The dark-haired nurse practitioner-midwife greeted Maddie with a hug. “You look great!”
“I’m being more careful about what I eat this time around,” Maddie said with a frown. “I was way too indulgent with Hailey and paid for it after.”
“You were gorgeous when you were pregnant with Hailey,” Mac said.
“Gorgeous and fat.”
“Not that I ever saw.”
“You have to say that. You did this to me.”
“Oh no. Not this time. This one is all on you.”
Victoria laughed at their banter. “I’m not even going to ask…”
“Suffice to say there was champagne involved,” Maddie said with a laugh.
After Maddie was weighed and provided a urine sample, Victoria handed her a gown. “You know the drill. Everything off from the waist down.”
“Oh joy,” Maddie said.
“Victoria,” Mac said, “before I forget. Do you know Lisa Chandler?”
“Sure, she comes in with her kids to see David. Haven’t seen her in a while, come to think of it. The boys must be healthy.”
“They are, but she’s got an awful cough. She told my cousin Shane she can’t afford to come to the clinic.”
“Ugh,” Victoria said. “I’ll tell David. He’ll stop by to check on her.”
“Thanks,” Mac said, relieved to know Lisa would get some help.
“I’ll be right back,” Victoria said.
“I’d be happy to help you out of your clothes,” Mac said to Maddie when they were alone.
“Stay over there. This is a no-hanky-panky zone.”
“You’re no fun.” Deciding to make his own fun, he started opening drawers in the exam room, checking things out.
Some of the items were positively draconian and made him cringe as he imagined what they might be used for.
“Holy shit, they’ve got a gross of condoms in here.
Wish I’d known that when I was sending Janey out to buy them for me. Could’ve saved me a ton of grief.”
“Mac! Knock it off. Close that drawer and don’t touch anything.”
“What? I’m just looking.”
“You’re stressing me out worrying that she’s going to come in here and catch you.”
“What’ll she do? Kick me out?”
“Mac.” She pointed to the spot right next to the exam table.
Because she was adorable and he loved her, he moved to the appointed spot. “Happy now?”
“Stay. Behave.”
“Yes, ma’am. Am I allowed to put my arms around you?”
“That and nothing else.”
“I love when you’re stern with me. It turns me on.”
“Mac! Shut up.”
He was still laughing when Victoria knocked on the door and came into the room.
“Sorry for the delay. Things are crazy as usual here today.” Always efficient, Victoria got right down to business, moving Maddie to the edge of the exam table and settling her feet in the stirrups.
“Do not look down there,” Maddie said to him. “You’re allowed to look right here and nowhere else.” She pointed to her eyes.
“Yes, dear.”
While Maddie grimaced her way through the internal exam, Mac did as he was told, even though he’d much rather be watching the goings-on below. But he knew his wife well enough by now to know when she was being dead serious.
“Don’t you know most guys don’t want to see what goes on down there when their wives are being probed?” Maddie asked.
“Very true,” Victoria said. “Most of them require smelling salts after their wives have a routine pelvic exam.”
“I’m not most men.”
Maddie grunted out a laugh. “No, you’re not. You’re a freak show.”
“Thanks, love.”
Maddie rolled her eyes at him.
The snap of latex gloves indicated the end of the invasive part of the program.
While Victoria washed her hands, she said, “As I mentioned last time, we do a quick ultrasound at eight weeks to make sure everything’s going according to plan. If we see anything that needs further examination, we send our moms to an OB on the mainland. It’s all perfectly routine, okay?”
“Yep,” Maddie replied, reaching for Mac’s hand.
Victoria covered Maddie’s lap with a sheet and raised her gown over her belly. Next came some gel stuff followed by the ultrasound wand.
Even though he’d seen this done before with Hailey, Mac was fascinated by the view that appeared on the screen. Not much more than a blob, but that blob was his kid. Mac’s heart melted at the first sight of their baby.
Victoria ran the wand around on Maddie’s belly, watching the screen intently. “Hmm,” she said.
“What?” Maddie asked.
“I’m going to have you turn onto your left side for me, if you will.”
With Mac’s assistance, Maddie shifted into the requested position.
“What’s wrong, Vic?” Maddie asked.
“Just give me a minute.” She moved the wand around while continuing to watch the screen, almost without blinking.
A tingle of anxiety went down Mac’s spine.
“Let’s try it vaginally.” They moved her to her back for the more invasive procedure that ended when Victoria removed the wand.
“Hang on just a second, Maddie,” Victoria said before she left the room.
“What’s going on?” Mac asked.
“I don’t know.”
She sounded scared, and Maddie never sounded scared. While they waited for Victoria to return, Maddie gripped his hand tightly.
After about five very long minutes, Victoria returned. When Mac saw that David was with her, his heart sank. That couldn’t be good.
“Hey, guys,” David said, his tone friendly and relaxed.
“What’s wrong?” Mac asked the man who would’ve been his brother-in-law.
David glanced at Victoria, who took a deep breath before she spoke. “I wasn’t able to find the baby’s heartbeat.”
“Oh God,” Maddie said, her eyes filling. “No.”
Victoria rested her hand on Maddie’s shoulder. “David is going to give it a try before we jump to any conclusions.”
David went through the same ritual with the gel and the wand, but the room remained stubbornly silent.
In all his life, Mac had never heard a louder silence. God, please. Please don’t let this happen.
After a thorough exam with lots of clicking on the computer screen, David removed the device from Maddie’s belly and used a paper towel to wipe up the gel.
Mac felt like he was going to be sick or pass out or something equally unpleasant while he waited to hear what David had to say.
The small room was suddenly closing in on him.
Since flaking out on Maddie, who was crying silently, wasn’t an option, he forced air into his lungs and swallowed frantically to keep from puking.
“We’d like to do a blood test to get some more information,” David said.
“Am I… Did the baby…” Maddie fumbled over her words as she continued to sob.
“We don’t know anything for certain yet.” David rested his hand on Maddie’s shoulder. “The blood work will tell us more.”
Mac had only felt this helpless one other time—the night Hailey was born during the storm.
“I’ll get that going right away,” Victoria said, scurrying from the room.
“David, please…” Mac cleared his throat. “Be straight with us. What do you think is happening?”
“I’d hate to say before we have all the information.”
“Please,” Maddie said, hiccupping. “Just tell me.”
David sighed. “I’m so sorry to say that we could be looking at a miscarriage, but we won’t know anything for certain until we run the blood work.”
Mac’s chest ached as he tried to comfort Maddie from an awkward angle. Her heartbroken sobs destroyed him.
Victoria returned and made quick work of drawing the blood.
“We’ll be as quick as we can,” David said before he and Victoria left the room.
When they were alone, Mac said, “Let me hold you, sweetheart.”
Maddie let him help her up so he could sit behind her, his arms around her.
“It’s m-my f-fault,” she said.
“Why in the world would you say such a thing? It’s not your fault. You’re a wonderful mother.”
“I-I didn’t want to be p-pregnant again. How many t-times did I say that?”
“Maddie, honey, of course you didn’t want to be pregnant again so soon after Hailey was born. But just because we didn’t plan this baby doesn’t mean we didn’t want him or her.”
“I wanted him. He’s a b-boy. I know he is. I wanted him.”
“I know, honey. I did, too.” Mac wanted to weep and wail, but more than that, he wanted to comfort her.
“No matter what happens, sweetheart, it’ll be okay.
I promise.” He would make it okay for her or die trying.
“We have each other and our two beautiful kids.” With the back of his hand, he brushed away his own tears, determined to stay strong for her.
David and Victoria returned, and their grim expressions told the story.
“I’m so sorry,” Victoria said, “but we believe the fetus is no longer viable.”
“Why, Vic? What did I do wrong?” Maddie asked.
“Nothing at all,” Victoria assured her. “Early-term miscarriage is far more common than you realize. And there’s hardly ever a satisfying reason. It just happens.”
“Here’s the deal,” David said. “We can give you some meds and send you home. You’ll have what would seem like a particularly painful and heavy period over the next few days and then it would be over. The other option is we send you to the mainland for a routine surgical procedure.”
“What would you do?” Mac asked, trying to remain calm for Maddie’s sake.
“Because of where we are, I’m concerned about the remote possibility of complications—”
“We’ll go to Providence then,” Mac said. The possibility of complications—even a remote possibility—made the decision easier. To Maddie, he said, “Is that okay?”
She nodded.
“I’ll make the call to get you a referral,” David said. “How soon can you get there?”
“We’ll go tonight.” Mac’s mind began to spin with details and things that needed to happen.
He’d call Joe to get the truck on the next ferry.
His parents could stay with Thomas and Hailey.
He needed to let Maddie’s mom and sister know what was going on.
They’d need clothes… The details gave him something to focus on besides the overwhelming, awful pain in the vicinity of his heart.
He helped Maddie up and got her dressed, going so far as to slide flip-flops onto her feet. “Can you walk, honey?”
She nodded, but he didn’t take any chances as he pocketed the referral paperwork that David handed him and put his arm around Maddie.
“If we can do anything, please call,” Victoria said tearfully as she hugged them both.