Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
GARRETT
As I walk through the woods, enjoying the quiet of pre-dawn, my wolf remains blessedly calm and agreeable. Last night with Angel, making love to her, gave us both a sense of peace we haven’t enjoyed in a very long time.
I’m not sure what reception the other women will give me, or if they’ll report what happened last night, but I’m going to risk their ire.
I want to catch Angel before breakfast, to explain why I slipped out in the middle of the night.
She’d fallen asleep in my arms, and leaving her was the last thing I wanted.
But Damien would have my hide if he found me inside the women’s cabin.
“You again?” Ellis says as she exits the women’s cabin.
“Ellis,” I greet her, civil and respectful after last night.
“Are you back because you can’t keep your dick in your pants?”
“Just escorting Angel to breakfast.”
“The cabin’s off limits to you from now on, Black. Got that? I need my sleep.”
“Won’t happen again. Not here, that is.”
“Uh, huh. Better not.” With a sideways glare, Ellis heads to the cookhouse where she works.
“Garrett, everything okay? I didn’t expect to see you here.”
I stand straighter as Angel steps outside. Fuck, but she’s gorgeous. I don’t recognize the jeans or black sweater she’s wearing but this female’s glowing brighter than the sun.
“Thought I’d take you to breakfast. Would have brought you some in bed, but after last night…” I peer past her and scent the air to see who else might be inside. “I thought it best to stay out here.”
She slips her arm through mine. “Good call. I didn’t even notice you leaving. Your exfil was way quieter than your infiltration.”
I raise my brows.
“Couldn’t resist,” she says, grinning.
“And here I thought my infiltration technique was solid.”
“Oh, all of you was quite solid last night.” Her smile wanes for a second. “The cabin felt empty without you this morning.”
“I didn’t want to leave, but getting caught here would have been bad. It’s not like I got any sleep in my own bed. Much prefer yours.”
“You mean my overly-cramped, no-support bed?”
“Overly cramped has its advantages.” I waggle my brows and she laughs. But she’s quick to hide her laugh behind a hand.
I ease her hand aside and brush my thumb over her lips, so tempted to kiss here. “Do you realize the one place we haven’t been intimate is my bed.”
“We could rectify that at some point.”
My Angel, ever cautious. I need to be careful, not push. Something’s been bothering her and I’ve been too wrapped up in my own shit to notice.
“Do you want to continue training?” I ask as I hold the cookhouse door open for her.
“Eventually. I think I need a break, to you know, figure out what I’m going to do about staying here.”
My gut tightens, and my wolf goes fully alert.
Her brows narrow. “You’re not saying anything.”
“I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing.”
“No such thing. I’d rather have honesty than platitudes.”
“That’s what I like about you, Angel. You’re not the least bit superficial.”
“After yesterday, I’d think you have more to like about me.”
“It’s a long list. Want me to read it to you?” I hand her a tray then take one. As we make our way through the line, I pile on the sausage, eggs, and toast with a cup of joe. Angel heads toward an empty table, then abruptly changes direction and finds another.
“What are you thinking about doing while on hiatus from training?”
She pushes her oatmeal around on a spoon, not eating. Once, twice, she turns her head, barely imperceivable, as if she wants to look behind her but doesn’t dare.
I look over her shoulder and find Tiberius staring in our direction.
“What’s going on? Why is Tiberius staring at us?”
“Not us. Me. He doesn’t want me here.”
“Hell, I don’t want me here, especially with Ellis serving the food. She warned me to keep my dick in my pants. Her words, not mine.”
Angel smirks, but then glances to her side again. “When you were up on stage with Damien yesterday, he came over to me and said some… things.”
My wolf’s hackles shoot straight up. I’m ready to tear the male to pieces, without even knowing the details, but that look on her face, the anxiety there keeps me from charging across the room. I can shred him with my claws later. Right now, my Angel needs me.
“What things? What exactly did he say?”
“That I kept you from rescuing the other shifters. That I don’t belong here.” Her hand shakes. When she drops the spoon, I take her hand in mine.
“He doesn’t know what he’s saying. I was the one who decided that day. Not you. Tiberius has no fucking business saying anything to you. You have every right to be here.”
“But he’s right—”
“No, you’re not going to blame yourself like I did with Marla.
Learn from my mistakes, Angel. You want to take the blame for Alex falling in the river, then fine, do that.
Figure out what happened so it never happens again, but don’t let your guilt weigh you down until you’re drowning in it.
I’m trying to say you can’t blame yourself for something you had no control over.
Do you hear what I’m saying? You had no fucking control.
The humans kidnapped you and gave you one and only one choice.
Obey or die. Tiberius doesn’t understand that because he’s never been in that situation.
Never had to beg or do the unthinkable just to survive. ”
“You talk as if you have. H-have you, Garrett?”
“Darlin’, I’ve rescued a lot of shifters over the years, some in worse shape than you. I stopped asking them how they were taken. I didn’t want them thinking they needed to explain what they did or didn’t do, or what they should have done.”
I shake my head, recalling the haunted looks all the shifters we’ve rescued carried.
“That’s the part that always gets me. Survivors second-guessing themselves.
Or blaming themselves, as if they’d just done that one thing—veered left instead of right, thrown one extra punch, jumped off a cliff…
” I take her hand in mine. “Or ignored the incredible scent of a lone female in the woods… wondering if walking away would have saved them. Would it? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s the type of thinking, the unending loop of questions without answers, that drives you mad.
There’s only one thing they should focus on, take pride in. That they survived.”
Tears fill her eyes. “It sounds so easy, logical when you say it like that.”
“Easy? Hell, no. But it’s the truth. Surviving is the only part that matters. As for Tiberius, my angel, I will make it clear to him that he’s never to come near you again, not even look in your direction.”
She chuckles as she wipes at her eyes. “You can’t threaten every male who says something mean to me.”
I tip her chin up until she meets my eyes.
“I will speak with him, but I also want you to understand the history here, so you don’t think it’s just my pack hating you because you’re an outsider.
Tiberius’s brother disappeared years ago, along with several other shifters.
We found him in the same raid that we found Tess.
Ray didn’t survive. Maybe Tiberius is jealous that you did.
Maybe he’s lashing out because he can’t accept his loss.
Or maybe he fears the same happening to him.
Whatever his reason, he has no right threatening you. ”
When she bites her lip, something I’ve only seen when she questions herself, I caress her cheek. “Gorgeous, none of what the WSSO has done is on you. That’s what I’ll make Tiberius understand. Then, if he persists, I’ll teach him manners the more traditional way.”
“He’s a guard.”
“You think I can’t defeat a guard?”
“I only meant it’s not worth fighting over.”
“Don’t ever tell me you’re not worth fighting for.” My appetite, gone, I toss my fork back onto the tray. It’s bent in half. I didn’t even realize I’d crushed it. “I’m not hungry anymore.”
“And it’s not even mushroom stew,” she says with a lightness returning to her face. “Maybe we can try some new recipes next time I drop by your cabin.”
“Visit? You’re not returning to my cabin?”
“I think I should stay in the center of the pack for a while. Give the shifters here a chance to know me better.”
“I faintly recall hearing that advice before.”
“From a shifter who kept pushing me away.”
“For all the wrong reasons. Won’t happen again.”
With her hand falling to my chest, she kisses me. “I’m not pushing you away, just looking for a way to fit in. I plan to talk to Langdon about that position he offered me. At least no one will die if I get distracted.”
I choke back my wince. She’s still blaming herself for that near-drowning. She fucking saved the boy. “What happened at the river wasn’t your fault. Sadie Lynn is understaffed. Everyone recognizes this.”
She opens her mouth then shuts it, her smile long gone.
“But if this is what you want, a new job and… space from me… I’ll shut up.”
A dainty eyebrow lifts. “No more discussion on the matter?”
I clench my jaw, then force myself to relax. “Only about Langdon. He’s easy-going enough, but he can talk your ears off, so be careful.”
“I can handle chatty guys.”
I bet she can. “Like me?”
Her fingers move down my arm. “You, Garrett, are the least chatty shifter I know. And how I handle Langon will be quite different from how I handle you.”
I hope she doesn’t look down any further, because she’s making me hard.
“Copy that, Angel,” I mutter with a tiny shake of my head. Not giving up on her… just giving her the room she needs.
Her smile returns. “See you tomorrow?”
“In a few days,” I say, hating the timing of this next mission, but it’s not like I have a choice. “I’m going out with a team tonight, east of here. If Tiberius or anyone else gives you any trouble while I’m gone, go to Damien. Or Tess.”
She hugs me, and my arms wrap around her. Letting go becomes difficult, so I hold her a minute longer than usual.
“Stay safe, and come find me when you return, shifter. Just knock first. In case Ellis is inside.”
I kiss her cheek. “For you, I’ll play by the rules. Unless you tempt me.” I wink at her. “A shifter has his limits, darlin’.”