Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
Novalee
The bike moves much slower now as we make our way back to my place. My arms are wrapped around Sylus, my head resting against his bare back as the city’s sounds blur around us.
I try to take in the neon lights, the late-night crowd, a distant hum, something outside the small world that is just Sylus and me, and the pulse of his heart against my hands.
We turn the corner to my street, and I spot Ezra sitting in the Bronco, his bike parked beside it. His head lifts when we drive by, his gaze meeting Sylus’s for a second. He looks away again, disinterest masking whatever he’s really feeling.
Sylus pulls up in front of my building, the rumble of the bike fading as he kills the engine. He swings his leg over, and I follow, my legs a little shaky as he helps me off. He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together as he walks me to the door.
The stairwell is dark and quiet, each step slightly echoing as we climb. My heart is still pounding from everything that’s happened tonight, but Sylus is steady beside me, his hand warm and reassuring. When we finally reach my apartment, I let out a breath, but before I can even grab my keys, the door swings open.
Koen stands there, his eyes locked on mine, relief flickering over his face.
“How did you get inside?” I ask, blinking at him.
“Magic.” Sylus grins beside me.
But Koen doesn’t smile. Instead, he pulls me into a hug so fierce it takes my breath away. One hand presses against the small of my back, the other cradles the back of my head, and the scent of vanilla and spices suddenly surrounds me as he murmurs into my hair, “You’re okay.”
“I’m okay,” I parrot, my voice muffled against his chest. My arms come up, wrapping around him slowly as I sink into the warmth of his embrace. He holds me for a long moment, and the tension inside me begins to ease.
I’m safe.
When Koen finally lets me go, he steps back, eyes searching my face, then he looks over my head at Sylus. They exchange a look, and I turn to see Sylus nod, a grin spreading across his face. Koen gives a slight nod back, something like approval flickering in his eyes.
Then Sylus turns me to him, his hands on my waist as he rests his forehead against mine. “Be good for Koen,” he murmurs teasingly. “But don’t forget to think about me.”
“I couldn’t, even if I wanted to,” I answer truthfully.
He laughs, the sound warm and genuine, as he gives me one last peck on the lips. “Love you, baby,” he whispers, making my heart skip a beat.
Before I can respond—before I can even fully process the words—Sylus turns to Koen, holding out his fist. Koen bumps it, a grin twitching at the corners of his lips.
“If anyone comes in here, let her handle it,” Sylus teases. “She’s got a mean right hook, and you… yeah, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”
“Fuck you, Sy,” Koen huffs. “I can handle a punch.”
“Oh, you can,” Sylus agrees, grinning wider. “But you fold like a baby when your knuckles hurt afterward.”
A laugh escapes me, and Koen shoots me a playful scowl.
“Well, good thing Ezra’s out there keeping an eye on us,” he mutters, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Now fuck off, brother.”
Sylus doesn’t move right away. Instead, he turns back to me, his fingers curling around my throat, pulling me to him—his grip not too tight, just enough to make my pulse stutter. His thumb brushes the hollow of my neck, his touch firm, possessive.
“See you soon, Sparkle.” He presses a slow, deliberate kiss to my forehead. His lips linger for a second longer than necessary like he’s branding me with it. Then, with a smirk, he releases me and steps back, turning away without another word.
I watch as he heads down the hallway, disappearing around the corner. Then Koen pulls me inside my apartment and closes the door behind him. He turns back to me and takes in my expression. “You really okay?”
“Yeah.” I nod, swallowing hard. “I think I am.”
“Liar.”
I let out a weak laugh, shaking my head. “Maybe.”
“Come on.” Koen sighs. “Let’s sit.” He glances toward the couch, but seeing my scattered clothes makes his lips twitch in amusement. “Guess it’s the bed again.”
I cringe. “It’s not made.”
Koen shrugs, stepping into the bedroom without hesitation. “I don’t care.” He sits down on the rumpled sheets, the bed dipping slightly under his weight as he looks up at me, patting the spot next to him. “Sit.”
Reluctantly, I join him, sitting close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body. He leans back slightly, one arm resting on his knee, his head tilted to look at me.
“Start from the top,” he commands. “What happened?”
“I thought I had him.” I fidget, picking at the hem of my shirt. “Not just hooked… but maybe even falling for me.”
“He is falling for you,” he states simply like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“Yeah, maybe.”
He studies me for a moment longer, then lets out a quiet breath. “What happened then?”
“He invited me back to his place. Said his mother’s out late on Tuesdays, so we’d have time alone. It felt… like the perfect opportunity.”
“Tell me about the penthouse.”
“He used a black access card to get the penthouse elevator working. It’s not a regular key card. And once we got there… God, Koen, it was huge, quiet, spotless like something out of a magazine. He called it a cage, though, and I believed him. It didn’t feel like a home.”
He pulls out his phone, his fingers moving quickly. I glance over to see he’s texting Ezra. “Anything else?”
I take a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. “There were cameras in the lobby, probably in the penthouse, too, but I didn’t see any. He’s got a keypad near the door, but it didn’t look like an alarm. Maybe a panic button? I made it to Veronica’s office, but I didn’t get a good look at anything. I didn’t have time. Sylus said I didn’t even make it the minute he needed before Nicholas found me. But like I said, he was just… hurt and told me to go. No security, no police.”
He nods, his expression serious, the glow from his phone reflecting off his handsome features as he types. When he’s done, he sets the phone aside and turns to me. “You got inside. That’s huge.”
“I got caught , Koen.” I huff a bitter laugh. “I fucked it all up.”
“You did what you could.” He shifts closer, his hand settling on my knee. “And you didn’t get hurt. That’s what I give a fuck about.” Something in his words settles the storm inside me. “Nicholas suspects us?”
“Yeah,” I admit, the knot of anxiety tightening again. “He asked if the twins sent me. I didn’t say anything, but he knew.”
“We’ll have to be careful.” Koen’s eyes narrow thoughtfully. “He’s not stupid, even if Levi believes otherwise.”
“What do we do now? I could reach out to him, could try to explai—”
“First, we keep you safe.” Koen cuts me off. “That’s the priority. We’ll regroup and figure out our next steps. But you’re not going anywhere near him until we’re sure it’s safe.”
“Koen, I can’t just—”
“You can,” he cuts me off once more. “You’re more important than this. We’ll figure it out.”
His phone buzzes loudly, the screen lighting up with Levi’s name. “This is going to be fun,” Koen mutters, squeezing my knee as he answers the call and puts it on speaker.
“Koen!” Immediately, Levi’s voice bursts through, loud and frantic. “What the fuck is going on? Nobody’s talking to Alaric and me. Sylus came home, but he locked himself in his room, and Ezra won’t answer his fucking phone. What happened?”
“Easy, Dove.” Koen glances at me. “Glitter got into the Penthouse and planted the ducky, but she got caught before Sylus could hack his way in.”
“What?” Levi barks. “Did she at least take the laptop?”
Why hadn’t I?
It wouldn’t have mattered now that they caught us anyway, right?
“No, but she got out and is okay.” Koen tries to reassure him. “Everything’s under control.”
“Under control?” Levi’s voice is incredulous. “We need to get in there and grab the evidence now if they know about us trying to gather it! Why didn’t she take the laptop? She’s a fucking thief! And she was right there! If anything was there in the first place, they’re gonna delete it now!”
“Levi, calm down,” Koen warns.
Ah, fuck.
“Bullshit!” Levi yells. “We’re sitting on our asses while she had the perfect opportunity, and now it’s gone!”
I swallow hard, the guilt gnawing at me as I listen. Because he’s right, isn’t he? He and Ezra are right, and Koen and Sylus are trying to be nice for my sake, but I fucked up badly.
Why do I have the urge to text Captain Bossy and see what his reaction to this shit show is?
“We’ll figure it out, okay?” Koen’s eyes flick to me. “But we can’t walk in there without a plan. We need the key card, and we’ll need to be smarter about our next move.”
“She was right there, Koen.” Levi lets out a frustrated growl. “She could’ve done it. Or at least grabbed the fucking key card.”
Again, he’s right.
“She did her best,” Koen asserts with an edge of finality.
The line goes dead, Levi having hung up on his twin, and Koen sets the phone aside, his gaze shifting back to me. The weight of Levi’s words still lingers in the air, making me feel nauseous. “Fuck,” I whisper. “I’m so damn sorry. Is he going to be okay?”
“Of course he is. He’s being a little drama queen, as always. Don’t take it too much to heart. He’ll cool off by tomorrow.”
“You sure?”
“I am.”
“Do you have to go to him?”
Koen watches me carefully as if reading the guilt tightening my shoulders. I can’t control the slight quiver of my lower lip. After Levi’s scolding, I’m back to feeling small sparks of anxiety sizzling beneath the surface of my skin.
He slides an arm around my waist, pulling me into a side hug, and dips his head to rest his chin lightly on the top of mine. The weight is barely there, but it holds me still, like an anchor, keeping me from drifting away. “I’m exactly where I’m needed.”
I exhale, my breath shaky, his closeness stupidly soothing. “Koen…” My voice cracks, a whisper that’s more apology than anything else.
He squeezes my side, a gentle press of reassurance. “It’s not over,” he says softly, reading the self-blame I can’t hide. “We’re still in this. We’re going to figure it out. Levi’s loud, but he’s not always right.”
I nod against his chest, the knot of guilt easing even more, though it doesn’t fully unravel. His fingers trace a slow pattern along my back, and I let my eyes drift shut, absorbing his calm.
A yawn slips out, and Koen catches it, of course. “Want to lie down?”
“I don’t think I can sleep like this.” I feel exhausted, but at the same time, I know my mind won’t let me rest.
“You can sleep, Little Thief. You’re safe here. We’ll know if someone comes after you.”
“That’s not what I’m worried about,” I admit. “I don’t think Nicholas will hunt me down. It’s more like… everything slowing down.”
“That’s the adrenaline tanking. It always leaves you in this weird place after. Exhausted but too wound up to actually rest. I have that after every show.”
I let out a deep sigh, sinking further into him. “I guess…”
Koen leans back to look at me, making me sit straight up again. “Why don’t you think he’ll come after you?”
“He was hurt,” I whisper, thinking about Nicholas’s forest-green eyes. “Hurt so badly. And he just told me to go. I don’t think he’ll come after us at all. I think I’ve made him shut himself off even more.”
He’ll close down, and maybe that’s worse.
He’ll never trust anyone again.
Fuck. I’m so sorry, Nico.
“Yeah, he has a tendency to do that,” Koen says quietly, a trace of sadness passing over his face.
I glance up at him, my eyes searching his. “You said you guys were best friends once.”
“Yeah. We were…” he pauses, nodding, his gaze shifting away from mine for a moment. “Before he hurt my twin.”
“I understand that must have been a hell of a fuck up…” I bite my lip, “… but are you sure Nicholas is the bad guy here?”
Koen’s eyes snap back to me, a flicker of suspicion flashing across his expression. He studies me, the silence stretching between us before he finally speaks. “You like him.”
It’s not a question. It’s a statement.
“Well, he was only nice to me.” I shrug slightly. “Of course, I kind of like him.”
“No. You like him.”
I open my mouth to argue, but Koen raises his hand. “You know what? I think we should find out for sure.”
I blink. “What do you mean?”
Koen’s fingers glide across my wrist. It’s a fleeting touch of warmth before he taps my forehead.
“ Sleep. ”
Motherfucker.
My eyes slide shut as my head tips forward, coming to rest against his shoulder. The world around me fades, shrinking until there’s nothing left but the steady rise and fall of his breath beneath my cheek.
Everything inside me stills.
Even my heart slows.
“You feel safe,” Koen murmurs, a smooth thread that winds around my mind. “Relaxed, like you’re dreaming.” His fingers slide through my hair, each stroke drawing me further under. “Everything that leaves your pretty mouth will be the truth.”
He doesn’t wake me, doesn’t pull me back. He keeps me there, suspended in this place where my thoughts are fluid and transparent.
“Do you like Nicholas Harrington?”
“Yes,” I whisper on a breath. “I like him.”
Unlike the last time he did this truth thing to me at Euphoria, in this state, there’s no moment to catch my breath, no chance to gather my thoughts or decide to keep my answers vague. The answer unfurls from my lips before I can shape it.
“How much?”
“I think I have a crush on him. But nothing can ever come from that.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I care about you guys. A lot.”
Koen’s chest rises against me as he takes a deep breath, brushing his thumb over my temple. “Good girl,” he murmurs. “And what about Sylus? What do you feel about Sylus?”
“He’s mine,” I answer without hesitation.
I feel him swallow. “Are you his too?”
“Yes.”
There’s hurt tightening in his voice as he asks, “What are you feeling toward Alaric?”
“Intrigue. Understanding,” I respond, feeling distant, almost detached.
“And toward Levi?”
“Friendship,” I answer simply.
“Ezra?”
“Begrudging respect.”
Koen hesitates. “And toward me?”
“So much more.” Even I can hear the smile in my voice.
“Explain,” he murmurs, his hands back to stroking my hair.
“You make me feel safe.” My eyes remain closed as I speak the words that come so easily. “You make me feel seen, protected. You make me feel like I’m not alone. Like you’re willing to shoulder my burden without even being asked. You make me feel calm, even when everything else is falling apart. I crave being near you.” His breath catches, and I feel his fingers brush against my cheek, although the warmth of his touch barely registers.
“If you could choose, if you could have me, would you pick me over Sylus?”
“No.” He flinches a little, but my mouth is already moving again. “I don’t choose. I never do. Even if I could…” I let out a sigh. “I shouldn’t. How could I? Both of you mean something different to me, something I need. God, I need both of you. And choosing one means losing the other, and I can’t bear that. I can’t lose anyone else.”
His silence stretches, and I breathe in slowly. “But I like you a lot,” I continue. “And I hate that you’ve got such a pretty face I want to sit on.” A soft, almost pained laugh escapes him, but I keep talking, my eyes still closed, my voice detached from my thoughts. “I was hurt… when you didn’t want to fuck me. I would’ve loved to, but I was so embarrassed. I know you’re too good for me, but still.”
Koen’s hand stills on my cheek. “What I’ve just done shows that you’re the one too good for me… Wake up. ”
My senses rush back in all at once. The warmth of his hand on my cheek, the tension in the air, the weight of everything I just said. I sit up straight, and my eyes snap open, locking onto his.
“ Oh my God .” The heat in my cheeks tells me my face is flushing crimson. “You fucking asshole. ”
I jump up, my body acting on pure instinct, and Koen raises his hands in surrender, his eyes wide as he stands too. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry,” he says quickly. “I went too far. You’re right, I’m sorry , Little Thief.”
I shake my head, my thoughts a mess, emotions swirling too fast for me to catch. “You… you had no right,” I stammer. “Why would you do that?”
“I know, I know ,” he admits. “I shouldn’t have. I just… I needed to know. I’m sorry.” He’s fumbling for words, and it’s so different from the self-assured Koen I know. He takes a hesitant step toward me, open, apologetic, and vulnerable in a way I’ve never seen.
What he’d told me during our training hits me about shock induction, pattern interruption , and openness.
“When we are baffled, we become hyper-suggestible.”
Before I can second-guess myself, I grab his wrist and pull him closer, my other hand tapping his forehead. “Sleep.”
Koen’s eyes widen in surprise for a split second, and then, he goes down.
It’s like I’ve flipped a switch, and his body collapses forward, falling toward me. I stumble back, the weight of him forcing me to sit down on the bed, and he ends up on his knees in front of me, his forehead resting against my collarbone while I try to steady him by wrapping my arms around him.
“Holy shit.” My eyes are wide as I reach up to hold the back of his head to me.
I’ve just hypnotized Koen-fucking-Lane —the mentalist himself.
I stare down at Koen as he rests against me, his eyes closed, completely entranced.
I know I shouldn’t. I know I should be the bigger person, wake him up, and let this go. But the temptation to know what’s inside his guarded heart is too much to resist. He did this to me, after all—asked questions I wasn’t ready to ask myself.
Maybe it’s time I even the playing field.
My hand slightly trembles as I let my fingers slide through his hair, my other hand resting on his shoulder. He looks so vulnerable like this, leaning against me. I need to know if the barriers between us are as real as they seem or if they’re just things we both put up to protect ourselves from the weight of what’s been growing between us.
“Koen,” I start softly as I try to mimic his calm, hypnotic tone. “You’re safe, you feel good, and everything you say now will be the truth. Tell me about last night. Why did you reject me?”
“I care about you.” He shifts slightly against me, his brows furrowing. “More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time. I didn’t want our first time to happen like that.”
His answer surprises me. “That’s the reason?”
“I’m still figuring this out. My feelings, the situation with Sylus. I don’t have all the answers… and I can’t make promises I’m not ready to keep yet.”
“You’re right. There’s Sylus,” I press. “And you know now I won’t choose. Does that bother you?”
“Yes…” he admits, then pauses, “… and no.”
“What does that mean?” I breathe, my heart clenching at the thought of how tangled everything is between us.
He lets out a slow sigh, his head slightly shifting as he leans deeper into me. “I can deal with it if it’s the only way to have you.”
My breath catches at the quiet vulnerability in his words. “So you want me?”
“Yes,” he admits. “I want you, and I want to be here with you. That’s something I can promise.”
“But you’re not ready?” I ask, needing to understand his hesitation, the wall that keeps us from fully crossing the line.
It’s probably not the same reason that keeps me back.
“I’ve been burned. But my next relationship will be my last,” he promises. “I’m not worried… I’m not rushing. I want this love to find me, want me, need me, and love me in slow motion. We have forever to go.”
His words settle over me, and the knot inside my chest loosens a little.
He’s scared, just like I am.
This tells me a lot, but it’s not enough to not feel embarrassed anymore. And I can’t have this imbalance between us if we need to trust each other.
“Tell me something no one else knows.”
Koen’s brow furrows, a flicker of pain crossing his face, and I wonder if I’ve pushed too far, but then he speaks. “Everyone around me dies.” There’s a rawness in his voice that makes my heart ache. “I’ve made keeping Levi safe my top priority since we were fifteen… then the others. And now… now you’re so high on that list it terrifies me.”
The fear, the burden, it feels so painfully familiar. I swallow hard. “I know what that’s like. Everyone around me dies, too,” I admit, the words slipping out. “It feels… like I’m cursed. Like everything I touch falls apart.”
“You’re not cursed, precious.”
I smile, looking down at him. Even in a trance, he’s the one who reassures me.
“Neither are you, Koen. But God, it feels that way sometimes, doesn’t it?”
He shifts against me, his eyes slightly fluttering as if he’s caught between the trance and waking. “Yeah.”
I press a kiss to the top of his head. “You deserve to feel safe too.” And I ruined that tonight. “ Wake up. ”
Koen’s eyes open, slowly blinking as he adjusts to the dim light. He looks disoriented for a moment, his gaze unfocused as his eyes find mine, and he blinks again.
“Fuck,” he mutters, still caught between the trance and waking. “I never have been the one going under.”
His lips part, a soft exhale escaping him, and I see his walls are still down. It’s like I’m truly seeing him for the first time.
I’ve gone too far.
“Are you mad at me?”
“No.” He shakes his head, his eyes still hazy. “This was deserved. And I’m pretty proud of you for managing that…” He pauses, looking up at me, his hands moving to hold my calves. “Are you still mad?”
“No.” I give him a smile. “Not if you promise to never hypnotize me again.”
“I promise.” His answer comes out so fast it almost surprises me.
“Good.” I stroke a stray strand of his hair out of his face. “Then we’re even.”
There’s a moment of silence, the air between us thick with unspoken words. This feels weird, knowing that we both want each other but, at the same time, don’t want to cross that line. It’s like we’re standing on the edge of a cliff, terrified to jump.
“Come on,” he gently commands as he stands, holding out his hand to me. “Get ready for bed. I’ll braid your hair, and then we’ll try to sleep some.”
I take his hand, letting him pull me to my feet.
As I get ready for bed, I glance at Koen, watching him as he waits for me. When I’m done, he sits behind me. As his fingers move through my hair, braiding it, I feel a calm settle over me.
Maybe we’re not ready to cross that line yet, but when I think about where we are now, we’ve crossed so many others.
And each one brought something good with it.