Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Novalee
Ace’s touch lingers like an aftershock, the effortless display of skill still buzzing under my skin. The weight of it trails after me as we move back to the couch to eat, my mind still trying to catch up, still reeling from the way he tilts my world on its axis without even trying.
Good Lookin’ jumps up into Ace’s lap, a soft brush of warmth against my thigh.
The little traitor.
But as I reach out and stroke her fur, a scent fills my nose, and my focus shifts. The citrusy notes of bergamot wrap around me, clinging to Nicholas’s shirt like a phantom hug. The fabric brushes against my skin with every tiny shift I make, but it’s his scent that gets me.
Every inhale is him.
And then there’s the man himself, sitting across the room, chest bare and looking like he walked out of a goddamn fever dream. Nicholas Harrington is fine. Too fine. The kind that makes your chest clench and your mind race with thoughts you shouldn’t be having. He’s talking with Koen, his voice low, sending a shiver down my spine, and I forget to breathe.
Then, the guilt crashes in.
Sure, he’s helping us now, but that doesn’t mean we’re okay. The weight of what I did lingers between us, and I have no idea how to fix it. I keep hoping he’ll say something, give me a chance to explain, but every look he sends my way reminds me how far we’ve drifted.
At least there’s a difference in the way he talks to Koen. It’s guarded, of course it is, but there’s also an ease there. A flicker of the Nicholas I got to know, the one who doesn’t measure every word before he says it. It’s subtle, but I catch it, and I hope so much that even if I fucked things up with him, at least all of this brought him his best friend back.
“Hey, Trouble, you good?” Ace murmurs beside me, his voice pulling me from my thoughts. I glance over, and he’s already leaning in, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. It’s so sudden, so light, that my chest flutters.
“Hey,” I whisper as I smile at him. “I’m good, you?”
“I am.” He smiles back as his hand finds the small of my back, the warmth of his palm seeping through the thin fabric of the shirt and my clothes underneath. Today was a huge day for him on so many levels, and the fact that we’re here like this is a miracle.
When Ace nods and directs his gaze down at the cat, I turn my attention back to Nicholas, only to find his eyes already on me. The sadness in them is a punch to the gut, and before I can say anything, he looks away, focusing on Koen again.
“Girl,” Annabelle’s arm brushes mine as she murmurs in my ear. “What did you do to that guy?”
A lot.
“Why?”
“Because…” she says conspiratorially. “Whenever you’re not looking, he stares at you like a kicked puppy. He literally gave you his last shirt and doesn’t even want it back, even though he’s sitting there in all his glorious nakedness.”
“Belle…” I warn.
“I’m just saying,” she continues, unbothered. “It looks like you’re not treating him right. That is puppy abuse.”
“He’s not a puppy,” I mutter, but the words sound weak, even to me.
After maybe another half hour of me watching and pining after him, Nicholas stands suddenly. “Thanks for the food. I’m heading home.” His gaze flicks to me briefly, sadness still lingering there when he turns and walks out of the living room.
Annabelle doesn’t miss a beat. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Nico, wait.” I push up from the couch and race after him, the hem of his shirt fluttering against my thighs as I move. I catch up just as he’s reaching the garage door and grab his arm, pulling him to a stop. “Please,” I beg breathlessly, unsure if it’s from the sprint or the rush of emotions swirling in me.
He turns, his expression carefully neutral, though I can see the tension in his jaw. It only makes the guilt twist harder in my chest. “What, Novalee ?”
“Your shirt.” I fumble with the buttons, already pulling it off my shoulders. “Here, you should—”
“You can keep it.”
“But you’re…” My words falter as my gaze drops, and my eyes trace the lines of his chest and defined ab muscles. He’s stunning. My mouth goes dry, and I lose the thread of what I was going to say.
His finger hooks under my chin, tilting my head back up until my eyes meet his. For a fleeting moment, there’s something soft in his gaze, but it hardens just as quickly—a shield slamming into place. “You’ve got enough guys in there waiting for you.”
Ouch.
“Nico,” I breathe out, the ache in my tone clear as day.
“That wasn’t fair,” he says quickly. “I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m hurt, okay? I’m hurt, and maybe I should be the bigger person, but it’s fucking difficult. All of it is.” My lips part, but he keeps going, cutting my interruption. “My mother is a monster who killed one of my favorite people. I have to hang out with people I’ve hated for over a decade, people who hated me, only to find out things weren’t what they seemed. That we were apart because of some misunderstanding, and I spent years alone for nothing .”
Again, I want to open my mouth to apologize, but he barrels on. “And the person I thought I was in love with isn’t who she said she is. And she’s in love with three other men. And—”
“Nico,” I almost whimper.
He reaches out and brushes a stray strand of hair from my face. “You’re not the person you made me believe you are,” he says softly. But there’s no warmth in the words. They’re a wall going up between us.
“I would like to talk. To apologize, to explain—”
“Remember when I told you about the girl Veronica sent after me?” he cuts me off.
Shit.
“I do.”
“She sent her to get me out of my head. Out of my misery. To make me feel like someone thought I was important. She wanted me to go to all those events, to play her perfect son with a smile on my face because I had someone to take with me. Someone who made it seem… fun.”
His hand clenches at his side, and I can see the faint tremor in his fingers. “And it worked. God, it worked. But it wasn’t real. It took me way longer to figure that out than I’d like to admit. When I did, I hated her for it. Hated her for sending someone to manipulate me.” I can feel a lump forming in my throat, thick and heavy, but I can’t look away.
“But at the same time… I think, in her own twisted way, it came from a place of concern. She saw how lonely I was, how much I was drowning, and she wanted to end it. Sure, it was in her interest, her benefit, but maybe it was a little bit for me too.” I can barely swallow past the lump now, and I press my hand against my stomach, trying to steady myself. “But you? What you guys did? That wasn’t for me. That was solely for your benefit. Yes, I see where you were coming from. I understand why you did it, why you thought it had to be done. But that doesn’t make it easier.”
He huffs a bitter laugh. “Even my mother had my well-being in mind. You didn’t. You made me fall for you—” His voice cracks, and he stops, shaking his head before continuing. “Fall for you so hard, like I’ve never fallen for anyone. I thought, for once, someone was interested in the real me. Not the son of a hotel mogul. Not some heir. Just me . You made me believe you, only to pull the rug out from under me. Fuck the consequences. Fuck what happens to me afterward. Fuck how I feel.”
“That’s not true.” Tears blur my vision. “I mean, yes , some of it is. But I cared. I care .” I take a shaky breath. “I felt awful about it. It was never the plan to have feelings for you. To like you. To crave hanging out with you. But I did, okay? I fucked everything up because I did . I really care, Nico. I know it’s too little, too late, and I know you don’t believe me, but everything was real. Besides my name. Besides the fact that I said I was their cousin. Besides the reason why I was with you. Every single thing I said, every single thing I told you, how I was with you, was real. I was real . I was so real with you like I haven’t been with anyone in years. You gave me the freedom to be myself.” I look up at him, the tears spilling over now. “And I’ll be forever grateful for that because you showed me that there still is a real me.”
He doesn’t move, his face a mask of restrained emotion, but his eyes… God, his eyes are killing me.
“I’m so damn sorry. If I could change it, I would. But I can’t. And all I can do is tell you how sorry I am. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know that. But I still hope…” My voice breaks entirely, my words trailing off.
For a moment, there’s silence. The kind that stretches so long it feels like it’s swallowing you whole. But then Nicholas’s hand lifts to cup my face.
I don’t move. I can’t. My heart is racing, every beat pounding in my ears as his face comes closer until I can feel the faint brush of his breath against my lips. His gaze is locked on mine as if he’s searching for something I don’t even know if I have.
My lips part to suck in a shaky breath. Hope flutters weakly in my chest as if it’s daring to believe he might…
“I still haven’t figured out how to sit across from you and not be madly in love with everything you do while still hating you for it at the same time.” His words knock the air out of my lungs. Fuck. “And until that changes, I can’t accept your apology.”
Before I can even beg him to stay, he turns on his heel, opens the door to the garage, and walks through without looking back.
He’s gone.
And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fix what I’ve broken.
The moment the garage door clicks shut, my legs give out, and I sink to the floor, my knees hitting the cold marble as the sob I’ve been holding back tears free from my chest.
“Nova?” Annabelle rushes over, pulling me against her. She sinks down with me, her knees brushing mine on the floor as she strokes my hair, cradling my head to her shoulder. “It’s okay. Let it out. Just let it out.”
The sound of an engine revs to life behind the closed garage door, and I squeeze my eyes shut, fresh tears spilling over. The sound fades, but the ache in my chest grows, expanding until it feels like it’ll consume me whole.
I don’t know how long she holds me, rocking me slightly, her hand running through my hair and trying to smooth away the pain.
“Sparkle,” a deep voice cuts through the fog, and I blink through blurry eyes to see Sylus crouching in front of me. His face is tight with concern as his thumbs brush against my damp cheeks. “Baby, what happened?”
“Nicholas.” Annabelle answers for me.
His expression darkens instantly. He starts to stand, his hand curling into a fist. “I’m going to kill the fucker—”
“No!” I grab at his shirt, tugging him back down. “Please, don’t. He didn’t do anything. I did. I’m the bad one.”
“Baby—” he starts, but I shake my head.
“I am.” I sob. “I hurt him. It’s my fault. All of it.”
It’s even worse than I thought.
Annabelle strokes my hair again as she glances at Sylus, muttering softly, “I don’t know what to do. This isn’t her.”
Sylus lets out a sharp breath, his anger visibly wrestling with his concern. His hands slide under my legs and around my back, lifting me effortlessly into a bridal carry. He adjusts his grip, cradling me closer against his chest as he starts toward the stairs, but I stop him. “Belle.”
I can’t leave her here in a house full of strangers.
At least strangers to her.
“Done.” Sylus kisses my cheek before he yells over my head. “Dove!”
Levi rushes into the hallway, Pebble fluttering slightly on his shoulder as he stops short, his wide eyes darting between Sylus and Annabelle. “What the hell happened?” he demands as he steps closer, his gaze dropping to me. “You okay, Little Bird?”
“She’s okay,” Sylus answers for me, though his tone is strained.
Levi’s focus sharpens on Sylus as if he doesn’t believe him but goes with the flow anyway. “What do you need?”
“Can you drive Belle home in your fancy Jeep, please? I don’t want her getting stuck with a rideshare.”
“Of course I will.” He steps closer to Annabelle, placing an arm around her. “Whenever you’re ready, girl, but you can stay as long as you want.”
Annabelle nods, but her attention stays on me. She reaches out, her fingers wrapping around my forearm in a gentle squeeze. “Text me later, okay?”
“I will. I’m sorry.”
Sylus doesn’t wait any longer. His grip tightens as he carries me toward the stairs, the sound of Levi and Annabelle’s quiet voices fading as we ascend. My head falls against his shoulder, and I press my face into the crook of his neck, sobbing against his skin as he carries me up the stairs.
“Shh,” he murmurs as his arms tighten around me. “Shh, Sparkle. I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Nicholas will never forgive me.
The thought loops relentlessly in my mind, growing louder with every passing second, as tears spill down my cheeks and soak into Sylus’s shirt while my fingers clutch at the fabric.
He pushes open the door to his room and steps inside, nudging it shut with his foot before he lowers me onto his bed, sitting beside me as he pulls me back into his chest. His hand strokes my hair in slow, soothing motions, his lips brushing against my temple. “I’ve got you.”
“I don’t deserve it. I’m not worth the hassle you guys are going through because of me.”
“Stop.” He pulls back to look at me, his thumbs wiping at the tears still streaming down my cheeks. “You’re everything. Do you hear me? Everything. You’re the bravest, smartest, most incredible person I’ve ever met.” My breath catches, and I blink up at him, his words quieting my sobs, allowing him to continue. “You’re a fucking force, Sparkle. You walk into a room, and it changes. People notice you. They can’t help it. And yeah, sometimes you mess up, we all do, but you’re real. You’re you. And I love you for that. All of it.”
“Sylus, don’t—”
“Don’t what?” he interrupts. “Tell you the truth? I love you. I love everything about you. And I’ll be damned if I let you carry this alone. We made you do it. We pushed you into this mess. I’ll make it right for you.”
“You can’t.”
“Yes, I can.” He holds out his hand, his pinky extended. “I’ll fix this for you.”
Despite the tears, a weak laugh escapes me. “You can’t pinky promise your way out of everything.”
“Watch me.” His pinky hooks around mine, and he kisses our joined fingers before his hand moves to my cheek again, tilting my face up toward his.
His kiss is gentle at first, tender as if he’s trying to put me back together piece by piece. But then my hands find their way to his chest, clutching at him as though he’s my lifeline, and the kiss deepens. His fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me closer, and then it’s just us. No guilt. No pain. Just us.
The weight in my chest lifts enough to let me breathe again as his hands move to cradle my waist, holding me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear. But exhaustion creeps in, heavier with every passing moment, pulling me under—a tide I can’t fight. My body feels like it’s sinking, weighed down by everything from today. The crushing guilt with Nicholas, the hope and confusion with Ace, and Sylus’s unwavering love. Hell, even the fact that I haven’t seen much of Koen today.
It’s all too much.
My default instinct claws at me, whispering the same thing it always does when I feel like this—to find release. Let someone soothe me, drown it all out with touch. But tonight, even that feels too much. My body is too exhausted to move, my limbs heavy with fatigue, and yet the ache for comfort remains, an itch I can’t scratch.
“Baby?” Sylus murmurs, pulling me from the spiral as his lips pause against mine.
“Mm-hmm,” I manage, my head tilting forward to rest against his shoulder.
He pulls my head back by my hair to look at me. “Tired?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“You can sleep.” His lips press to my temple, lingering there as a promise. “I’ll hold you.”
“I need you to do more than hold me.”
If I can’t escape this storm in my head, I need him to at least quiet the noise in my body.
“What are you saying, baby?”
“I need you .”
His body stills as his eyes search mine for something unsaid. But even as the need for his comfort simmers beneath my skin, exhaustion wins. My eyes flutter shut, the weight of the day dragging me into the quiet darkness.
The last thing I feel is the steady beat of his heart beneath my palm, a metronome keeping me tethered to him.
His lips press another kiss to my temple. “I’ve got you.”