Chapter 7
Charles stumbled off the elevator feeling a little embarrassed by how much he’d had to drink. He hadn’t been drunk enough to feel it in years and, apparently, his current tolerance for gin and tonics was no longer what it used to be.
“I’m sorry,” he said as Ryder caught his elbow. Had he been falling? He hadn’t felt like he was falling. “This is very embarrassing. I never do this. I’m so sorry.”
His skin didn’t feel as thick as it had once been either.
Perhaps that was more of the issue. Running into Lewis had surprised him when he really should have been prepared.
“Lewis is Tad’s ex, you know. Lewis thinks because I gave the lake house to Tad that I should sell it now that he’s gone.
He’s made four offers. I keep having to ask my lawyer to turn him down. ”
The words sounded perfectly clear in his head, but he wouldn’t have been surprised if they sounded like drunken ravings on Ryder’s end. “I don’t get drunk at these things all the time, I promise. This is so humiliating.”
“Why? You’re not puking or driving. You’re fine, just feeling good. We’re going to get in the car, have some water. Also, that Lewis guy is a little prick.”
He nodded. Lewis was a prick. That was the perfect thing to say. Ryder was very good at that. “You are right. A prick. And water.” He nodded again. “Really. This is not in your job description.”
“I know, but that’s okay. Not everything needs to be, right? We’ll just say I’m off the clock right now, huh?”
“You’re very kind, Ryder. I am growing quite fond of you.” He probably wouldn’t have said that if he were sober, but he wasn’t, and he thought it was okay. He let Ryder help him into the car and rolled his eyes when Ryder even put a hand on his head so he didn’t hit it getting in.
He’d needed it, too, which made him giggle like an idiot. God, he was a mess.
“Listen to you. You might oughta have a sip or two a little bit more often. It’s probably good for your stress levels.” Ryder didn’t sound like he was making fun, which was good because that was the last thing he needed right now.
Instead, Ryder’s voice read to him as fond—not amused, but warm.
The term he was searching for was warm.
He felt that way quite a bit about Ryder, that there was a genuine warmth to the man that he didn’t quite understand.
Not yet.
And he certainly wasn’t going to learn anything in his condition.
“Are you suggesting that I drink more often?” He raised an eyebrow, or tried to, and grinned at Ryder. “Or that I have anything to be stressed about?”
Nothing at all. He’d just lost his husband, whatever could he be stressed about?
He’d been to a party. He’d seen the evil ex. He’d seen his friends—not as part of a couple but as a single guy.
Except he hadn’t been, had he?
He’d been there with Ryder on his arm, confident and sure, friendly. The man was a total package.
“No, sir. I’m saying that, every now and again, having a glass of wine or a beer makes you a better person. You’ve had a ton of change in your life recently. That shit’s stressful, pardon my French.” Ryder sounded like he knew what he was speaking of.
“I speak fluent French, you know. That is not French. But it’s pardoned anyway. I’d like to be a better person so remind me of this talk when I’m sober.” He leaned back and closed his eyes. It was a lot and he was tired. So damn tired.
“You don’t worry about it, Mister Charlie. You’re all right. I got your back.” A soft chuckle wrapped around him. “You mind if I put on some music?”
He waved one hand. He didn’t care so long as it wasn’t awful, and he could always turn it off.
He knew how.
The soft, gentle country song started playing, low and easy, Ryder just singing along.
“Mm. That’s nice. You have a good voice. I bet you like karaoke. Don’t ask me to sing. I’m terrible.”
“I have sung before, yes, sir. Roper and I sang a lot in different bars. We were even in choir in high school.” That drawl was deepening, smoothing out.
Charles thought it was a bit like being wrapped in a warm, puffy comforter—not too heavy, not too hot. Just perfectly held.
“What’s it like, having a twin?” It was an odd question for his hour and probably too personal, but he wanted to hear Ryder talk some more.
“I don’t know. I mean, I’ve never not had a twin.
This is the longest that I’ve ever spent without seeing him.
I don’t know how to even explain how weird this is.
We’ve literally been together most every day for damn near thirty years.
It’s like having your best friend with you forever—since the beginning.
We literally share DNA.” It almost sounded like Ryder was tearing up.
“Until I moved here, I could count on two hands the number of times I’d slept in a room by myself. ”
“Oh my goodness, I had no idea you were working through all of that. I’m so sorry. You must miss him terribly. Please let me know when you plan to see him next. I will have my travel agent take care of you.” That was the least he could do for Ryder considering how good Ryder had been to him.
“He’s on the road, but if he comes close to us, I’ll ask for time off.” An icy cold bottle of water was pressed into his hand. “The top’s off. Be careful.”
“Thank you.” He took a long drink, letting the cold water ground him as it landed in his stomach. “Oh. That’s nice.” He turned to Ryder, admiring the way the crisp shirt stretched just a little across the cowboy’s chest. “You know, I told Brady I didn’t think I needed company. I was so wrong.”
“You seemed like you were damn lonely. Folks aren’t meant to be all alone.”
“Alone and lonely aren’t always the same thing.” He’d thought a lot about that while Tad was in a coma. “I’ve been lonely for a long time, just not alone. I could handle the one by itself, but both is tougher than I expected.”
He’d had way too much to drink, and he needed to stop talking. He took another sip of his water and looked out the window, but all he could see were streaks of light as they drove uptown.
“Well, sure. That makes a ton of sense, and you don’t have to. I’m here to help, and I think we’re getting on pretty good.”
He turned back to Ryder and smiled. “We are. You’re special. I hope you know that about yourself.”
“Oh, that’s awful kind of you to say. I wish… I’d sure like it to be true.”
Charles nodded. He’d felt a similar way about himself at one time. “I don’t have any reason to lie.”
“Me either. You’re not going to remember this talk tomorrow anyway.”
“I might.” He winked at Ryder as the car stopped outside his building. Ryder had a point though. Maybe that would be for the best since he shouldn’t be saying all of this anyway. “Or I might not. But you will.”
“Yes, sir. Let’s get you upstairs and comfy. That suit can’t be comfortable.” Ryder eased him up and out of the car, hands warm and gentle on him.
“I’m ready to get rid of the tie. I don’t really like ties, but one has to wear them with a suit, right? On the other hand, it’s a nice suit.” He just went along, feeling heavy and tired, letting Ryder steer him. He trusted Ryder to get him home.
Ryder hummed and helped, moving him through the building and up to his apartment. “Do you want to head straight for your bedroom, or do you want to visit a bit in the front room?”
If he sat down right now he would just fall asleep. “Oh, no. No. I should go to bed. I’m tired. I’ll just go to my room.” He shrugged out of his suit jacket feeling warm now that he was inside.
“Fair enough. Let me help you get settled. I’ll grab you water, vitamin B, and Tylenol. It’ll help for the morning.”
“Okay. I’m going to—I’ll see you.” He was drunk. Definitely drunk and he needed to get out of Ryder’s hair.
“I’ll be right there, sir. I got you, okay? No stress.”
What a kind, service-oriented man.
“No stress,” he echoed, making his way back to his bedroom. He pulled off his tie and tossed it over his butler stand. He got as far as opening his belt before he flopped onto his bed, feet hanging over the side.
Oh. Spinning. That wasn’t good.
“Oh, Mister Charlie…” Warm hands removed his shoes and socks, then helped him sit up. “I have some vitamins and water for you, now.”
“Water.” He nodded. He just wanted to go to sleep, and those hands were so warm and strong.
“Yep. Take these, and I’ll get you settled in the bed, okay?”
He was given the pills, a bottle of water, then Ryder started working his shirt off.
He popped the little pills in his mouth, then switched the bottle to his other hand to drink so Ryder could help him with his shirt.
A little voice was whispering to him that this was wildly inappropriate, but he decided Ryder was stronger than that whisper and ignored it.
Ryder’s hands were steady and gentle, and he was enjoying the touch.
The help. He was enjoying the help. Not the touch, that really was wildly inappropriate.
Even if it was true.
Soon he was tucked in his bed, that soft voice singing to him, easing him.
“I didn’t think to ask for a companion that could sing lullabies, so I got lucky.” He took Ryder’s hand and held it as his eyes closed. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, sir. Get some good rest. I’ll see you in the morning.” Ryder didn’t leave him, though.
That warm hand stayed in his until he fell asleep.