Ember #2
Rhema placed her backpack on the rack next to my purse and rushed toward the bathroom.
When she was out of my sight, I plopped onto the dining room chair and buried my face in the palms of my hands.
Tears that I’d been holding in came pouring out.
I wanted to scream, throw some shit, or do anything that would help me release years of pent-up trauma, stress, tension, and anger.
Suddenly, the front door opened. I quickly wiped my face with a balled-up piece of paper towel that had been left behind on the table. The heavy sounds of shoes beating against the wood floors got louder the closer he got. Seconds later, Shane hovered over me, huffing and puffing.
I sat there, taking my time to acknowledge his presence.
“Ember, why the fuck you ain’t answer none of my calls today?” he spat.
Typical.
Shane was a selfish nigga. He was the type who looked over the smallest details. If he looked at me closely, he would have noticed I was not okay and not in the mood for none of his shit.
“Please, Shane. Not right now.”
“Fuck that. You actin’ brand new ’cause you fuckin’ that old nigga at work, huh?” He stood firm, neck cocked to the side. “Ember, that’s who you givin’ my pussy to?”
“Shane, you’re fuckin’ sick. Get outta my face with your weird ass questions.”
This boy was losing more of his brain cells as the days rolled by.
“You ain’t denying it, so it must be true.”
“I’m not answering shit.” I proceeded to get up, and he aggressively pushed me back down on the chair.
If only looks could kill. “Shane, are you dumb? You gotta be. Don’t ever put your dusty ass hands on me again.”
“You ain’t getting up until you answer whatever the fuck I ask you.”
“Please stop.” I pursed my lips to stop myself from saying anything else. All I wanted was for him to get out of my face.
Exhaustion, frustration, and numbness were the only emotions I felt.
Then, out of nowhere, there was a switch. Shane’s posture loosened, his face softened, and his whole demeanor calmed. “Ember, forgive me, baby. I’m trippin’ because I miss you, girl. You ain’t gave a nigga no pussy in a minute.”
This lunatic muthafucka.
If nothing else did it, this moment proved that Shane had some type of mental issue only God and medication could fix.
I stood and gave him direct eye contact.
“Shane, just give me a minute, okay? I need to get dinner started, and we can talk later.”
“You mean we can fuck later?” His eyelids lowered as he licked his lips, leaving them wet.
Any other time, I would’ve been riding his face when he gave me one of those sexy, seductive looks, but it wasn’t doing shit for me at that moment.
“Just let me get done with this, and we’ll revisit this conversation.” I shot him a half smile, trying my best to hide my true feelings.
“Okay,” he said, surprising me.
SMACK!
He slapped my butt, then turned around and swaggered down the hall. I rolled my eyes and headed toward the sink to wash my hands, then I went to the refrigerator to grab the ingredients I needed for dinner.
Just as I was getting ready to prep my turkey neck bones and potatoes, I remembered something.
I had hidden forty dollars in a secret spot for a rainy day.
A smile plastered on my face. I now had the money to purchase my daughter’s school supplies.
I rushed toward the only walk-in closet in the apartment, the one I had turned into Rhema’s bedroom.
I hit the corner and halted.
The smile I had seconds ago was instantly wiped from my face. Shane had the closet door slightly cracked as he peeked inside, but the only thing I could focus on was his hard dick sticking straight out.
I began to breathe heavily. My chest heaved as I rushed him.
“Nigga, what the fuck are you doing? And why the fuck is your shit hard?”
I pushed him away from the closet door, and his body slammed against the wall, shocking him and myself with the strength I possessed.
I still had him pinned, but at any given second he could have body slammed me and got me out of the way. I looked behind me to see if Rhema was in her bedroom.
My heart broke when I saw my baby looking frightened. She stood frozen, her sweats pooled at her feet. Rhema was getting dressed while this fucker was watching her.
How could he do this?
Was this his first time watching her in that way?
Had he ever touched my baby?
Did Rhema ever catch him doing this before?
How could I not have seen that I was sleeping with a fucking pedophile?
Question after question etched into my mind.
Once again, guilt consumed me because I should have protected my daughter.
I had invited this nigga into my home, around my child.
I had no idea Shane would do something like this.
How could I have waited so long to date again and bring a man around my child, just to still pick the wrong muthafucka?
All my trust was dead. Shane had ruined it. He invaded Rhema’s privacy and disrespected us. Him staring at my minor daughter while she got dressed, and not to mention his erection, was just as detrimental as if I had caught him touching her. I prayed to God he had never laid a finger on her.
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
I slapped the shit out of Shane. This was the first time he had nothing to say. He knew he was caught red handed doing some fuck shit, something I would never forgive him for. Anger consumed me. Hurt washed over me. Tears filled my eyes.
I started swinging and kicking him, not caring what I struck. I brought my leg up and kicked the fuck out of his dick, causing him to hunch over in pain.
“Fuck! Ember! Stop! It ain’t what you think!” he yelled, cupping his groin.
WHAM!
My fist connected with his mouth. Blood instantly formed between his lips.
“Get the fuck out now! And don’t you ever step foot back over here again. It’s over!”
Shane wasted no time stumbling toward the front door. I ran after him, then stopped in the kitchen to grab a knife and my phone off the counter just as he made it out the door.
“Stay the fuck away from us, you bitch ass nigga!”
I slammed the door shut, closed my eyes, and tried to settle my heavy breathing and pounding heart. I slid down to the floor with my back against the wall, gathering the strength to face my child and get answers.
I did not care who heard us, who saw me, or that I had put my hands on him. Shane crossed a line, so all boundaries we once had in place no longer existed. If I could have killed him and not been taken away from my daughter, that would have been my first option.
Rhema appeared in front of me, and my heart broke even more.
“Love bug.” My tone was low as I tried to speak.
“Mommy, you okay? Please do not be mad. It scares me when you’re upset.”
“I don’t mean to scare you, baby, but Momma gotta protect you. You may not understand it yet, but you will someday, Rhema.”
She walked over to me and sat on my lap. I held my baby tight, wishing I never had to let her go. I had failed her.
“Rhema, sweetie. I need to ask you some questions, and I need you to tell me the truth, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You promise?” I asked, turning her face toward mine.
“Promise, Momma.”
“Do you understand what just happened?”
She shook her head ‘no’.
“Did you see Shane at your closet door when you were getting dressed? Or have you ever noticed him staring at you in a way that made you feel weird?”
Once again, her head moved side to side, letting me know she did not know he was there.
“Has Shane ever touched you?” I stopped breathing.
My body stiffened as I waited for her response.
I was already conjuring up a plan in my head if she said yes.
Rhema shifted in my lap. The innocence in her eyes melted my heart and filled me with a deep feeling of sadness I couldn’t ignore.
It was my job as her parent to protect her at all costs.
“No, Mommy.”
Thank God. I breathed a sigh of relief, but I still planned to call the police on his ass. “You sure? You can tell me anything.”
“He’s never put his hands on me. I still remember when you told me that if anyone ever touched my private parts, I’m supposed to tell you. I never forgot that.”
My baby.
I had told her this when she was old enough to understand, but I wasn’t sure if she truly knew what I was saying until now. Rhema had understood, listened, and kept that conversation in her mind.
“That’s right, lovebug, Mommy is so proud of you. You can always come to me, and I promise to keep you safe.”
Rhema nodded, wrapped her arms around me, and nestled her head in the crook of my neck. I bawled as my baby girl held me tightly. For the first time, I did not hide my tears from my daughter. I let the tears flow as we stayed close to each other for the rest of the night.