15. Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
SAMMI
S ammi had been discharged several hours ago. Daddy had insisted he stay with her at her house or she came and stay at his house. Tonight, she opted for her house. She needed to feel some type of normality since her life had just gotten so much harder.
One of the first thoughts that went through her mind was just giving up. If she just gave up, no one would have to worry about her. If she didn’t check her blood sugar, no one else would have to worry about her when she was gone.
But she quickly pushed that thought away because she would be leaving her brother to pay off his debt alone. She couldn’t do that, not when she had promised she would help out. And she pinky promised, something she couldn’t break. But in this instance, she really did want to break it. She was exhausted, and all her extra money was going toward paying off her brother’s debt.
“Do you like living here?” Daddy asked as they pulled up to her driveway.
They’d had to go to the pharmacy to collect her new medication. They had to wait on a couple of things, which took what felt like forever, but they finally got it. Now she was home.
The house that didn’t feel like home.
It never had, and she figured it never would. Maybe it was because she hasn’t decorated it. When she first moved in, she didn’t have a lot, and as she lived here, she just didn’t feel like decorating it after so many years.
She never had anybody over but her brother, so it didn’t matter. It was up to her what she did with the house. It was hers, after all.
Sammi shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s just a house that I happen to own and sleep in.”
Which was sad when she thought about it. She should be thankful that she had a roof over her head... for now. A lot of people didn’t, and she was taking it for granted.
“Do you want to go to my house?” he asked as he got out of the car.
He walked around to her side, opened the door, and helped her unbuckle before helping her out. She had gotten a little lecture from him as they got to the car and at the pharmacy. Opening her own doors and buckling herself in were something she apparently couldn’t do. Daddy wanted to do them and Daddy was going to.
She couldn’t help but love that he wanted to open and close doors for her. It made her feel special, really special.
“No. I need some normalcy. Being at your house would just make me conscious of everything. I’m sorry. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. You can go home, and I’ll stay here,” she rushed out the final few words.
Daddy cupped her face it made her look at him. “I’m not going anywhere. It’s fine. You want to feel comfortable, and you’re going to feel out of place at my house. It’s okay.”
She let out a breath and nodded. He was so understanding. Always knew the right things to say at the right time. It was like he was made for her or she for him. She hadn’t figured that one out yet. Was she ever going to figure it out? Probably not.
“Do you have a garage you keep your car in?” he asked as they walked up to the front door.
Sammi grabbed her keys and struggled to open the front door.
“Here, let me open the door while you answer my question.” Daddy took the keys from her.
“No, I don’t keep my car in a garage,” she replied as he opened the door.
She didn’t really understand why he was asking that. There was no car out there because she didn’t have one right now.
After kicking her shoes off, she left them at the front door and walked into her house. Her mind was still trying to come to terms with her new diagnosis. Maybe she needed to find a job she could do from home so she didn’t have to worry about her blood sugar, but she loved working on the farm. It was the highlight of her day.
To be outside, in the fresh air, the slight breeze, and doing manual labor was what she always wanted. Weird, but it was. The doctor said she would be able to continue to work there, though would Gene want her to continue to work there? Was he going to fire her when he realized she was way too much to handle?
She shook her head. He had already proven that he wanted to help and be there for her, and she needed to believe that no matter how hard it was. Maybe she should write that on her hands so every time she went to the bathroom, she saw it and would believe it just a little more. That is, until he didn’t want anything to do with her. Sammi wasn’t going to think about that right now because it wasn’t true.
“Is your car still at the mechanic’s?” Daddy asked as they got comfortable on the couch.
Sammi gave him a confused look. “What?”
“You said your car was at the mechanic’s, getting some repairs done. Do they still have it? Do you need me to go talk to them?”
“Ohh, that. Well, you see… I ended up having to sell it,” she mumbled.
This was not a conversation she wanted to have. She had hoped she could keep that a secret or he would forget.
“You had to sell it? Is that what they told you?” he asked, worry filtering on his face.
What did she do to deserve him? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. She didn’t deserve him at all, but he was here, and she wasn’t going to give him up. So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours. She called him Daddy, she found out she has a chronic illness, and he hadn’t run. He was in her house, worrying about her having to sell her car.
If he stuck around this long, who going to keep her secret. Did he know that? No, but if he tried to leave, she would show him he was hers now.
She had claimed him, and there was no going back.
“Little One, is that what the mechanic told you?” Daddy asked.
“No.” She looked down at her lap.
“No, Daddy.”
She sighed. “No, Daddy.”
“So, what made you sell the car?”
Sammi started to play with her hands, not wanting to answer the question. She didn’t want him to know about her brother’s debt. What if he hated the fact that she was now paying off the Springfield Sinners?
“I needed the money, and I can walk places. So I sold my car,” she explained, looking up. “And the places that I can’t walk, I can call an Uber.”
Was she going to? Absolutely not. It cost money, and she didn’t need to be spending it on that. There was no problem with walking because exercise was good.
He was searching her face, probably trying to figure out if she was lying. But she wasn’t. She did sell it for money.
“Little One,” he gently said. “You could have asked me for money. I would have helped. You didn’t need to sell your car.”
“I didn’t want to bother you. I am a big girl, an adult who has taken care of herself for a while,” she replied.
If she had asked him for money, he would have asked why she needed it. What excuse would she have come up with? And it didn’t cover all the money she needed either. There was a lot more.
“I know you are an adult who can take care of yourself, but it’s okay to let other people in. I know it can be scary to ask for help, but I’m here if you need me. I’m not going to run away at any small inconvenience.” He grabbed her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. “I don’t want to take away your independence, but that doesn’t mean you can’t let me take care of you. You can be independent and have a Daddy. It’s all customizable.”
She knew that, at least from the books she read. She figured it was the same in real life as well.
“Now, let’s get you to bed. It’s been a long day.” Daddy stood.
Sammi whined, not wanting to go to bed just yet. It was still early, and she wanted to stay up to watch the TV.
“No moaning. You’ve had a long and taxing day. You need some rest.” He stood and raised his eyebrows.
“I don’t see why when I’m not tired. I won’t be able to fall asleep,” she replied, taking his hand.
“Let’s go to your room.” He patted her bottom.
She glared at him briefly before leading him down the hallway.
“I have something that will help you sleep,” he said as they walked inside.
“What?” she turned around, curious as to what it was.
“Go get ready for bed, and then I’ll tell you.”
Sammi sighed and made her way toward her bathroom. There was no sense in arguing with him when she knew he would spank her bottom, and then she would still have to get ready for bed afterward. She made quick work of doing her business before heading back out to stand right in front of Daddy.
“Did you brush your teeth?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Did you go potty?”
Her face heated at his question. Did he really just ask her that?
“Did you go potty?” he repeated. “There is nothing wrong about going to the bathroom. It’s a normal human function. Just like periods. Which we will talk about at some point.”
“No. We are not going to talk about my periods.”
“Why not?”
She stared at him, not believing that he didn’t understand. “Because we don’t talk about that stuff. It’s not taboo, but it isn’t something to just talk about.”
Growing up, they never discussed women’s time of the month in their house. It was something that wasn’t spoken about, the men acted like they weren’t on when they were.
Daddy growled. “I don’t like that society has made talking about a natural function taboo. It shouldn’t be that way. We need to normalize it in the same way that men talk about masturbating. It’s important. You shouldn’t feel like you have to keep it a secret.”
Her mouth fell open as she stared at Daddy. She wasn’t expecting him to be so passionate about this.
“So, we’ll be talking about it more, making you comfortable with me knowing about it. We’ll take it slow, I promise.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you on now?”
That was him taking it slow ? Waiting all of two seconds.
“Ummm,” she whispered, not wanting to reply. “No, I’m not.”
“You let me know when you start and what you will like during it. I know some women like to have someone lay behind them and press on their stomachs to provide heat but also pressure. I know some women like chocolate and other candy. You just let me know what you like, and I’ll get it for you,” he said. “Also, if you have any special medicines you need to take or if it’s just ibuprofen. And if it’s ibuprofen, is it the liquid or the pill?”
Tears sprung to her eyes as he rattled everything off.
“Aww baby, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He gently cupped her face. “Come here.”
Daddy wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. Tears streamed down her face as he continued to hold her, letting her get all the upset out.
“Daddy is here. I’m not going anywhere,” he kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to be here through everything.”
Sammi gripped his shirt as the tears kept coming. She didn’t like to cry, but she couldn’t stop herself.
“I should have been more mindful and waited to have that conversation. You’ve been thrown so much information all at once. We’ll talk about things another day when you aren’t so overwhelmed.”
She didn’t know when that would be. Diabetes was a lifelong condition, not just a week like a common cold. When was she ever not going to be ready to talk about it?
“We’re going to talk about this right now while it’s fresh,” Daddy gently said.
“I don’t want to,” she looked away.
Daddy cupped Sammi’s face, making her look at him. “We need to.”
Tears continued to run down her face. If they started talking about it now, it was going to become more real for her. If she ignored it then it wouldn’t, right?
“I know it’s scary,” his voice was soft, comforting. “I don’t know what you’re going through but we’re going to get through this together. You got diagnosed with type one diabetes, but it’s not the end of the world. You’re going to figure out how to overcome this. It will be part of your life forever, but you aren’t going to let it define you.”
Sammi sniffles, tears pooling in her eyes and spilling over again. He knew everything right to say in the moment.
“I bet you’re feeling pretty overwhelmed, right?” Daddy asked.
She nodded.
“And things seem a little scary?”
Another nod.
“And all you want to do it curl up in a ball and have someone hold you.”
A sob broke free as he said those words. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight as she cried into his arms.
“Everything is going to be okay,” he whispered. “I’m here for you every step of the way. We’re going to get through this together. I’m going to be your rock and whenever you need to lean on me or need me to catch you, I will.”
Sammi pulled back and nodded.
“You are not going to let diabetes overrule your life,” Daddy stated with a firm voice. “We are going to learn how to manage it and you are going to continue your life. Will there be some things we need to change or accommodate? Yes, but it does not define who you are.”
Sammi took in a shuddering breath as his words hit her.
“Repeat after me. Diabetes isn’t going to ruin my life,” Daddy ran his thumb across my cheeks.
“I can’t,” She sob.
“Little one,” he gently says. “Repeat after me. Diabetes isn’t going to ruin my life.”
“Diabetes isn’t going to ruin my life,” she whispered.
“Louder. I want you to believe it.”
“What if I don’t believe it?” she asked.
“Then fake it. We’ll fake it till we make it. We’ll fake it until you start believing it. Now, again but louder.”
“Diabetes isn’t going to ruin my life,” she said louder.
“I’m not going to let diabetes win.”
“I’m not going to let diabetes win,” she spoke but it felt like a lie. How was diabetes not winning right now?
“We’ll be repeating those words every day,” Daddy kisses her forehead. “Because they are true. You may not feel like it right now, but it’s going to be okay.”
She leaned her head against his chest and took a deep breath in.
“Now, let’s get you in bed.” Daddy stepped away.
He led her to her bed, pulling back the covers and letting her climb in in. Daddy tucked her in, kneeling on the floor right beside her.
“How are you going to get me to sleep?” she asked as her eyes started to droop.
“Like this,” he gently said, his hand moving to her head.
She moaned as he slowly started to run his hands through her hair, gently massaging her scalp as he went.
“Oh,” she whispered. “That feels good.”
“I’m glad. Now, just focus on falling asleep. Daddy will be right here,” he murmured, kissing her forehead.