Chapter One
Present day…
Ajax winced every time he watched Lucas move.
He knew it had been three months, and Lucas was probably bored as hell, but he wasn’t fully recovered.
The type of internal injuries he had suffered, and actually died from shortly, wasn’t the type of thing people healed from in no time.
The doctors claimed it could take up to a year before he was completely on the mend. Still, his stubborn ass wouldn’t rest.
A loud huff left Ajax as Lucas climbed from the bed again.
“What now? I’ve checked on your mom. She’s fine.
The last I looked, she was beating Lazarus at Gin Rummy.
” Personally, Ajax found that hilarious.
The prince’s husband was a deadly contract killer.
Yet he played cards with Lucas’ mom, Wendy, while laughing uproariously as if there was nothing he would rather be doing.
Ajax couldn’t stop. “If you’re hungry, I’ll call the kitchen.
If you’re bored, just tell me what I can do. ”
Lucas’ red hair was a mess. He had one leg out of the bed and stared at Ajax with laughter flashing in his amber eyes. “I need to take a piss. Do you plan to hold it?”
Rather than backpedal, Ajax never broke eye contact. “If you need me to, then yes.”
A loud snort burst from Lucas, followed by a wicked-sounding chuckle. “While I prefer to hit the restroom alone, you can hold it any time you like.”
Ajax couldn’t stop smiling. “I probably should one of these days. It’s a little sad, knowing I’m the only person on the planet who hasn’t touched your dick.”
Laughter rumbled from Lucas on his way to the bathroom.
Even after the door closed, Ajax couldn’t stop smiling.
Things had been this way since he’d met Lucas several years ago.
They played off each other well. Ajax’s entire life had been dedicated to duty.
While there were other guards he liked, he was their general.
He couldn’t be true friends with any of them.
Lucas was the only person who didn’t look at him and see his boss, even though—technically—he was.
While Noir ran Atlantic City, Ajax was his right hand.
Everyone who worked for Noir answered to him.
Ajax didn’t think Lucas truly bowed to anyone.
He would never give up being his own person.
Ajax’s smile fell. Right now, that ideology was a bad thing.
Every day, he saw Lucas turn a little more calculating.
Lucas knew why he had been attacked. He knew where the fault lay, and he wasn’t wrong.
Ajax had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Lucas was about to grab his mom and run.
Then Ajax would be the person Noir sent to kill him.
The bathroom door opened. Lucas’ hair was combed. He looked ready to drop. Ajax shot to his feet and swept Lucas from his. It was ridiculous how light he was now. He had lost too much weight. Unfortunately, he still couldn’t eat much.
“I’ve got you. It looks like I should’ve held your dick after all. The weight obviously broke you.”
The tired-sounding laugh from Lucas that was barely audible had Ajax grinding his back teeth.
Lucas was young and vibrant. He deserved to be those things, goddamn it.
Lucas hadn’t been born into this life. He should be on the beach, getting plastered with people his age.
Life had been incredibly unfair to Lucas. Ajax wished like hell he could fix it.
“I’m sorry.”
Ajax’s gaze shot to Lucas’ face at the apology. “What?”
Lucas looked sad. “Your jaw is flexing. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you want to be doing. It’s okay if you want Mom to sit with me for a while.”
Ajax tried calling his emotions under control while tucking Lucas in. “I’m not angry with you. There’s no place I’d rather be. I’m outraged on your behalf.” He left it at that. Ajax knew Lucas would blame himself if he kept going.
A bright but obviously fake smile lit Lucas’ face. “Okay. You can give me a sponge bath later.”
Ajax wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t. Every second he saw Lucas weak, bitterness grew inside him. He couldn’t stay silent any longer. Ajax was too angry. He was sick of watching Lucas fade and know he might not survive next time.
“Why did you choose this life?” The question came out harsher than he meant, but Ajax couldn’t stop.
“I know you take care of your mom, but fuck, Lucas. You could’ve done anything else.
You could’ve had a real life. Now you’ve thrown it away.
” He knew he had fucked up by the way Lucas’ features hardened. No signs of the laughing boy existed.
Lucas’ eyes flashed with rage. Lucas snorted so hard, it had to hurt.
“You don’t know shit about the real world.
All you’ve ever known is a cozy life. Do me a favor?
Get out your phone and search for jobs in this area.
Then search for apartment prices. Not a damn soul can make it these days alone, and I have my mom to think about.
She worked her ass off her whole life to keep a roof over my head and clothes on my back.
The least I can do is the same for her now that her health is failing.
So don’t talk to me about real life because you don’t know shit about it.
Sitting up here in your fancy-ass house, you don’t know a goddamn thing. ”
The pure vitriol in Lucas’ tone had Ajax straightening away from the bed. He closed down his heart. Feeling any sort of pity always ruined everything. “I’ll send your mom.”
He heard Lucas’ put-upon sigh as Ajax headed for the door.
Ajax didn’t slow. Now that Lucas had shown exactly how much he resented their association, he wouldn’t press his company upon him.
It wasn’t as if he could change the past. Lucas’ choices were made a long time ago. Ajax was only a reminder of that.
The backs of Lucas’ eyes burned. He hated that he had lost his temper with Ajax.
Ajax was his only friend, really. He didn’t deserve Lucas spilling his animosity all over him.
It wasn’t Ajax’s fault Lucas had been born poor, and all his savings was likely gone after three months of being bedridden and auto payments draining his account.
They had likely lost their apartment by now and would be sued for the lease violation.
The only thing he imagined he hadn’t lost was his car, since it was paid for, but Lucas didn’t even know where it was.
He had driven it the night he was attacked.
Lucas was out of touch with everything. He hadn’t seen his phone.
Lucas assumed it had gotten lost in the shuffle as well.
Being trapped with zero insight into the outside world had him half out of his head.
The bedroom door opened. Lucas closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep.
As much as his mom was his whole world, Lucas couldn’t talk to anyone right now.
He was too furious over how life had turned out.
Having Ajax point it out made the whole situation even worse.
Ajax was the only person who made him feel his age.
He turned twenty-seven in a couple of months and all his youth felt like it was lost to him.
Lucas stood on a ledge right now. It wouldn’t take much to push him over.
Life had been too damn hard. Too bloody.
He felt three times his age. Lucas honestly didn’t want to do this anymore, but he couldn’t leave his mom behind.
He was all she had. Lucas swallowed past a lump in his throat.
There was no out. He was trapped. Lucas felt a stare boring into him.
He opened his eyes and found Ajax sitting at his side.
His steely gray eyes looked every bit as exhausted as Lucas felt.
He blurred as tears filled Lucas’ eyes. Lucas quickly looked away.
“I’m sorry.”
At Ajax’s quietly spoken apology, Lucas’ gaze snapped back to Ajax’s ridiculously handsome face.
A sad smile touched Ajax’s lips and fell away just as quickly.
“I got halfway down the hall and deflated.” Ajax’s hand ran across Lucas’ stomach as he leaned over and rested his chin on his other arm on the bed.
He held Lucas’ stare. “I hope you know I’m not blaming you for anything.
This entire situation just has me ready to tear apart the world. You didn’t deserve this.”
He was so incredibly flawless. His eyes were so light, Lucas swore they cut to Lucas’ soul.
Jet black hair with streaks of silver that looked like a lion’s mane made him look distinguished.
The two days’ worth of growth on his face made him look slightly more human.
He always made Lucas want to touch him, and he didn’t know why.
Still, secret attraction aside, he couldn’t let Ajax believe his own words.
“But I did deserve this. Bad things eventually happen to bad people.”
Instead of flying into another rage, Ajax lightly stroked Lucas’ stomach.
“Doing what you have to do to survive doesn’t make you bad.
It makes you human. In fact, in my opinion, it makes you better than most. You’d be surprised how many people out there would’ve left their mom to figure it out alone. You didn’t. I think you’re incredible.”
The words warmed Lucas’ chest like nothing ever had. It was nice to have someone look at him like he wasn’t a monster, despite knowing everything he had done.
“I’ve always thought of you as my best friend.”
A smile exploded across Ajax’s face at Lucas’ humiliating admission. “I’d say that’s sad, but you’re mine too.”
Lucas couldn’t help his bright smile. He would survive another day… no matter the cost.