Chapter 23
Liam
I fill up my glass with more than a few inches of bourbon, sinking into my desk chair while Britain sleeps upstairs. I still can’t believe the best moment of my entire life was followed by this shit day, and it’s all my fault. By the time I got to work this morning, Niko and Max were in my office, waiting. They weren’t as pissed as Matt, but they let their displeasure be known.
“Brother, you fucked up,” Niko croons out.
“I know, I know. I don’t know how to make it right with him, though.”
“I think it’s a little past making it right,” Max says. Aside from Matt, Max is the next closest thing I have to a brother, then Niko. Silas was always a bit too young to run in our circle, and never wanted anything to do with his father’s business, so I only see him at holidays. The Scala family has been such a big part of my life, and aside from Sandy they’re the only family I’ve ever known. And now there’s a good chance they’ll all write me off because of what I did to Matt. The irony is, their mom is the one who started all this.
“What do you want me to do about it, huh? I told him. Yeah, I probably should’ve done it sooner, but I can’t change what’s already happened.”
“You could end it with Britain,” Niko suggests, like this is some casual fling, not the love of my fucking life.
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Isn’t that what you made Matt do all those years ago?” Max asks.
“This isn’t an eye for an eye, okay? Matt’s like a brother to me, but Britain’s my entire fucking life. No one could make me walk away from her. If Matt felt this way for her back then, he would’ve never let her go, but he did. You can’t stake a claim on a person for 15 plus years when you break up with them.”
“Hmm, that’s a valid point,” Niko says to Max.
Max just ignores him, turning to me. “You remember two Christmases ago, when Silas brought home that stupid Karaoke machine and Matt got so sloshed I had to drive him home and put him to bed? I’ll never forget it. It was the one and only time he ever opened up to me about her. He told me she’s the reason he hasn’t built anything on his lot. He said he’s been waiting for her. That he’s been tracking her and her life for years, just waiting for another opportunity. It’s why he’s stayed single all these years. He never wanted to chance being involved with someone if she were to ever come back or get divorced. It wasn’t just some bullshit hookup for him either.” Fuck.
“He never told me. He never talked about her after those first couple of years. I thought he’d moved past it.”
“Did you? If you thought he’d moved past it, why didn’t you tell him sooner then?” Max is grilling me, and he’s right. Somehow I knew Matt wasn’t over it. He never moved on, never went on more than two dates with anyone, ever. Damnit. Just like I gave up having a life and my own family for work, Matt did, too. Shit.
“Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to take that chance that he still wanted her. There wouldn't have been much competition between me or him. He would’ve won, and that’s why I didn’t tell him.”
“Ahh, come on, man,” Niko says, “don’t get so down on yourself. You’re still in your early 60’s, you’ve got another good decade left in you.” Fucker.
“I’m not even 50 yet, Niko. Fuck off.”
“Is she worth it?” Max asks me.
“Worth what?” Doesn’t matter though, the answer is yes.
“Losing your family over.” Even though I thought he’d say that, it does make me pause.
“I don’t want it to be that way. I don’t want it to be her or you guys, but if you’re going to make me choose, I’m going to choose her. She’s fucking worth it.”
“I won’t make you choose, man, but I’m not going to make it easy for you either.” Niko gives me a wink before exiting my office.
“Max?” I ask. He’s just standing there, arms crossed over his chest.
“Yeah, just thinking. Matt’s my brother, my best friend aside from you. I don’t know if I can get over how you fucked him like that. I gotta think about it.”
“Yeah, I get it. I don’t want to lose you too, though, Max. So if you think there’s something I can do, I’m all ears.”
“Nah, man, that’s for you to figure out. I’ve got shit to do. I’ll see you around.” He closes the door behind him as he leaves.
It’s insanity feeling so fucking good and so bad all at the same time. I’m still high off Britain admitting she loves me, but I’m dying inside over losing my best friends. I fucking knew this, though. You knew all of this, Liam, and yet I still made the choice to be with her, to try to pursue her. Because I knew, from that first day at Broken Ridge that she was meant to be mine. That I’ve never belonged to anyone else because I only belonged to her.
I have an idea forming in my mind about how to make this right, but I don’t know that I’m strong enough to do it. Do I trust that Britain loves me enough to choose me? That’s what it all boils down to, and I don’t know that answer.
I still need to tell her about why Matt broke up with her and how I was involved, but when I came home and she was crying on the bathroom floor, a part of me caved in, just like I always do. I needed to console her, make her better. I couldn’t add to her pain and grief. Finding out something like she did today, that could destroy a person, she didn’t need me piling on to that, but I probably should have done it anyways. Just embraced the suck and gotten everything out in the open once and for all.
But I couldn’t because I was being a coward, just like I was a coward with Matt and I can see what that got me, a ruined relationship. I can’t lose her. No matter what I do, I can’t lose her, but every time I look over the situation, all I see are the chances of us being together in the end dwindling.
“Baby, whatever you’re doing, don’t stop.” Fuck me, I’ve been dreaming about Britain all night, and this is the one dream I can’t stop having. Her riding me, bare, no condom. The dream is always the same, she wakes me up in the middle of the night with my cock in her mouth, like she just did in this one. Once I’m hard and soaking wet, she’ll slide down on top of me.
This dream is the same as always. I woke up to her sucking on my cock, taking me all the way to the back of her throat. As soon as I started to get close, though, she released me from her mouth and straddled me, lining me up at her entrance as she slowly lowered herself down. No barrier between us, I feel like I could come instantly but I’m holding off, never wanting this feeling to end. I’m gripping her hips tightly, moving with her at her pace. She’s soaking wet and whimpering for me.
“Bambi, do you love my cock?” I’m so fucking greedy when it comes to her, I want all her praise. I fucking need it.
“Yes, baby, I love your cock.” She lets out a little pant. “I love the way you feel, thick and throbbing for me.” She cries out, as we pick up the pace. “You’re mine, Liam. I’m yours and you’re mine.” She lets out a deep moan as her orgasm racks her body, arching her back and clawing at my chest. She feels like fucking heaven. I explode right behind her, slamming her down on top of me. My vision fades to black, my release coating her walls, our cum combining and fueling the longest orgasm I’ve ever had. She’s still riding me, crying out for me.
“I love you, Britain.” I finally get it out as my spasms start to slow.
“I love you, too, Liam.” She leans down, kissing me, biting my lower lip like she always does. She slides off of me, heading towards the water closet. I lean over to my nightstand checking the time on my phone, 4:30. This isn’t a fucking dream. I immediately reach down, grabbing my cock, confirming that I was not, in fact, wearing a condom. I feel panic stricken. Fuck, that’s not what she wants.
“Baby?” I call to her, but she can’t hear me over the sound of the bathroom sink. She crawls back into bed, scooting in for a cuddle.
“Baby?” I try again.
“Yeah?”
“I wasn’t wearing a condom.”
“I know,” is all she says, reaching over, giving me a kiss. I’m shocked, for a moment I don’t know what to say.
“Baby, are you sure? I thought that’s not what you wanted?”
All she says is, “I’m sure.” And even though it’s dark, I can see her knowing smile, and I forget about everything, every other fucking thing leaves my brain. All I can think about is her, all I care about is her. I’m immediately on top of her, pushing her flat against the bed.
“Damnit, Britain, I love you so fucking much, baby.” I slide into her again, thrusting deep while she lets out a little moan. I could die over how good she feels. She’s my perfect fucking partner in every way. “You were made for me, weren’t you, my love?” She’s biting her lip while she nods, driving me in faster.
“Tell me you want this, Bambi. I need to hear it.”
“I want you to come in me, baby. I want you to fill me up, then let me lick you clean so I get every last drop of you.” Jesus.
“You and your filthy mouth, Bambi,” I say before I slam my mouth down on top of hers, claiming her, just like I’m claiming her pussy. The only thought in my mind is that she belongs to me, she’s fucking mine and I’m never letting her go.
I release her mouth, looking down on my beautiful wife. Fuck. I can’t help the way I think about her sometimes. I want her with me for the rest of my life. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I slide out of her, and she protests. It only takes me seconds to get to the bathroom, to open my bottom drawer and grab the little velvet box. My fist is concealing it as I get back in bed, settling back on top of her.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
“More than okay, Bambi.” I drop a gentle kiss on her lips. “Britain, baby, I knew the minute I saw you, you were going to be important to me. I didn’t know how, or when, or why but I knew it then. And I know it now. You are the most important part of my life and I want us to be partners, and best friends, and husband and wife.
I love you, baby and I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I want to wake up to you in our bed every morning, and I want to come home to you in our house every night. I want to love you, and have babies with you, and be a stepdad, and the only person I’ve ever wanted any of this with is you. Only you. It’s only ever been you, Britain.” She inhales sharply when I pause, “Bambi, will you marry me?” I open the ring box, holding it up for her.
“Liam,” it comes out as a whisper. My stomach is burning and my hands might be shaking. Her pause is going on a bit too long, but finally, in her quietest voice, she says, “yes.” I drop the ring, grabbing her face in my hands and kiss her with everything I have. I release her, just looking down on my whole world as she says, “I love you, Liam.”
“I love you too, baby. I can’t believe you’re mine.” I slip the ring out of its box, sliding it on her left hand ring finger. It’s still dark in our room, so she probably can’t see it, but that can wait. I kiss her again. “You’re mine, baby,” and I lean down, placing a kiss on her sex, “This is mine.” She lets out a soft giggle and then I place a kiss on her abdomen, “This is mine, too.” Even in the dark, I can tell she’s blushing.
I nudge her legs to open a bit wider, and I slide back into her. It’s like coming home. The feeling, beyond words. I know she likes it rough, so I slam into her, and she cries out for me. “Yes, please, more!” I can’t believe I get to fuck her like this for the rest of my life. I’m already close.
“Baby, touch yourself. I want to see my ring on your finger as you come all over me.” I sit up, leaning back on my knees, pulling her closer to me as I move. I don’t have to ask twice, and when I thrust, her hand is between us, massaging her clit. I can already feel her clenching down on me, and I can’t wait to come in her now that I know this isn’t a fucking dream.
I reach down, grabbing her full breast in my hand, running a thumb over her nipple while my other hand is clenched on her thigh. I’m looking down at her pretty pussy sucking me in when I feel it. She throws her head back, already screaming, and I slam as deep as I can into her, letting myself go. The feeling is so fucking incredible, my ears are ringing as I drown her pussy in my cum. How the fuck did I get so lucky? My future wife is coming down from her orgasm, looking like a fucking goddess and my heart bursts, as if I couldn’t love this woman any more.
“Bambi, promise me you’ll never leave me. Please?” I drop my head, placing kisses all along her neck and collar bone.
“I promise,” she says in her quiet voice, the one she uses when she’s telling me what she really thinks or feels or wants. I slide out of her for the second time this morning. My cum is trailing down her inner thigh and I feel like I could fuck her again, but I should probably let her get some rest.
As I’m getting out of bed, I hear her same quiet voice, “Promise me you’ll never lie to me, please?” There’s a pinch in my gut. I think about where the line between lie and omission is, but I make the promise anyway.
“I promise,” and we both head to the bathroom, our routine solidified, hopefully for the rest of my life.
I’m waiting for her when she comes out of the water closet. I want to know what she thinks of her ring. In hindsight, giving it to her in the dark, in the middle of sex, probably wasn’t ideal, but I just couldn’t wait any longer. It was the perfect moment. She smiles when she sees me, heading to her sink to wash her hands. I come up behind her, looking down at the ring sitting on her left hand.
“Do you like it?” I ask, not caring how desperate I probably sound.
“I love it.” I can see her smile in the reflection. She dries her hand, admiring it in the lighting. “How did you know my ring size? It’s a perfect fit.”
“I measured one of your rings in your travel case.”
She laughs. “So this was a premeditated thing? You didn’t just happen to have this ring lying around, waiting for the perfect woman?” Shit, is that what she thinks?
“It was definitely premeditated. I had the proposal all planned out. But if you want to know about the ring, I bought it two weeks ago, and picked it up when I was in Sonoma. I bought it for you, Britain, to match your eyes. It’s an estate piece, made in 1923, which I thought was fitting since I feel like I’ve had to wait a century to find you.” I pause. “Don’t forget, Bambi, this is only for you. Only you have ever seen me like this.” Her cheeks turn crimson and I press a kiss to her temple.
“It’s perfect, Liam. Thank you. I love it.”
“Great, because I love you.” I give her a wink.
“Love you, too.” She laughs back at me. “So, are we getting up, or going back to bed?”
I look down at my already hard-again cock, “Unless you’d like me to fuck you again, get up? I’ll make us coffee and watch the sunrise?”
“I’d like that.” Her reply is quiet.
“Which part?” I ask, and she laughs again, the best sound in the fucking world.
“The coffee and sunrise part.”
“Damn,” and she laughs…again.