Chapter 4 #3
Bernie smiled as she leaned back on the couch, glad Gerard was setting expectations of a calm night, watching a movie and eating popcorn. Nothing sexual about it. Just a bodyguard making sure his client was sufficiently entertained and distracted from the day's events.
She could handle that and keep calm, cool and collected, resisting the desire to touch the man and feel just how hard his muscles were.
Her fingers tightened on the popcorn bowl, reminding her to keep her hands to herself.
Bernie set the bowl aside and reached for the remote. As she scrolled through the movies offered, she finally selected an action-adventure with a broad brush of comedy, Jumanji , with Dwayne Johnson and Jack Black.
Gerard returned with two cans of beer and a package of cookies. He laid a can and the cookies on the coffee table. After he popped the top open on the other can, he handed it to Bernie.
“You can start without me. I want to shower before I sit on your sofa.”
“Good idea,” she said. “The hallway bathroom should have soap, shampoo and fresh towels. Yell, if you need anything else.”
“Thanks,” he said and disappeared down the hallway, carrying his backpack.
Bernie held the remote in her hand, fully intending to start the movie. Instead, she listened for sounds coming from the bathroom, her imagination going through the motions Gerard must be performing.
The sound of the shower running flooded Bernie’s mind with images of Gerard. He’d be standing tall and naked beneath spray, water running over his head and shoulders, dripping down over his torso. As rivulets ran lower, they would slide over the jutting evidence of his desire.
The bathroom door opened before Bernie realized the water had long since stopped running.
Gerard stepped out, wearing only a pair of gym shorts, no shirt.
Bernie grabbed her beer, tipped the can back and took a long swallow, hoping the alcohol would take the edge off her anxiety. It helped…to an extent.
Gerard pulled a T-shirt over his head and settled on the cushion beside her. “You didn’t start the movie.”
She gave him a crooked smile. “Thinking.”
“About?”
The way you make me feel.
Bernie stared at the television. “Everything that happened today.”
“Hard not to, huh?” He started the movie, setting the volume low, and passed her the package of cookies.
Bernie sipped on her beer, hyper-aware of Gerard’s thigh brushing against hers.
He leaned back and draped his arm over the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against her shoulder.
The television could burst into flames, and Bernie wouldn’t notice. Her focus was homed in on the hand brushing against her shoulder and his thigh bumping into hers.
“Besides the resort trying to but you out, do you have any other enemies who want to harm you?”
She shook her head. “Other than my father walking out on me and my mother when I was a baby, I’ve led a pretty normal, boring life.”
“What about your husband? Did he have any enemies?”
“No,” Bernie said. “His family has been a part of this community for decades.”
“What about your father?” Gerard asked. “Does he keep in touch?”
Bernie shook her head. “I haven’t heard from him, ever.
He disappeared out of our lives, and I’m okay with that.
The only good thing he did for me was provide the sperm to make me.
From what I’ve learned over the years, he was the town bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks.
My mother had the misfortune of falling in love with him.
She spent the rest of her life paying for it. ”
“How so?”
“Being a single mother in a small town doesn’t offer many options. She couldn’t afford to go to college and had to work two jobs to keep a roof over our heads. She couldn’t move out of town because she didn’t have backup for childcare.”
“That had to be hard for your mother,” Gerard said softly.
“It was,” Bernie said. “As an infant, I stayed with my grandparents. Once I started school, I’d get off the bus at their house.
Only they were older, having had my mother later in life.
My mother and I lived in a garage apartment for years until I was a teen and earning a little money of my own.
I was able to buy my own clothes from a secondhand store in New Orleans, and I saved my summer work money for a car.
It wasn’t much of a car, and it drank oil, but it got me around to other jobs.
We were able to move out of the garage apartment into a house we rented on the edge of town. ”
“You and your mother sound like fighters,” Gerard said.
“We were,” Bernie said. “Only there was one fight my mother didn’t win.” She swallowed hard on the lump in her throat. “A head-on collision with a drunk driver.”
Gerard reached for her hand and curled his fingers around hers. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged, holding back her tears. “I was a senior in high school. She died a month before graduation. I promised myself I’d go to graduation for her.”
“Did you?”
Bernie nodded. “I would not have graduated high school if not for my mother. I would not be alive today if not for my mother. I wouldn’t be the person I am if not for her.
” A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye.
“Like her, I’m not a quitter. She never quit.
A drunk driver beat her, but she didn’t go down without a fight. ”
“I think I would’ve liked your mother,” Gerard said. “And maybe your father did you a favor by leaving.”
Bernie had harbored so much anger toward her father for so many years.
She’d watched her mother work herself into exhaustion just to make ends meet.
Had he been there, he could have helped.
At the very least, he could have paid child support to ease her burden.
“It took me years to come to the same conclusion. He could’ve been an alcoholic, into drugs or a criminal.
Mom and I were better off without that added nightmare. ”
Gerard stared for a long moment at the television as if he didn’t see the people moving around on the screen.
Bernie wondered what he was thinking.
Then he turned to her with a tight smile. “And your grandparents?”
“When my mother died, I couldn’t afford the rent on my own.
I moved in with my grandparents, which worked out for them as they were at the point they needed help.
My grandmother died of a stroke when I was a junior in college.
My grandfather succumbed to dementia and had to enter a memory care facility the year I graduated college.
He lived for another seven years.” Her lips pressed together.
“Everything he owned had to be sold to help pay for his care, including the house.”
“I’m sorry. You must’ve loved them a lot to stay and help them through their final years.”
“I did,” she said. “They were good, loving people.” She still missed them and her mother. She’d never really been alone until they’d all passed away.
“How did you meet your husband?”
She should have felt awkward talking about her husband while still holding Gerard’s hand, but somehow, she didn’t. He hadn’t made a pass at her and wasn’t flirting. He was being nice like a friend, making it easier for her to talk about Ray.
“I worked a couple of jobs in Bayou Mambaloa. I guess I was considering moving to New Orleans to make a better paycheck but hadn’t committed.
One of my jobs was for a local company designing ads and copy for businesses.
Ray was one of our clients. He came by the office more often than necessary when I was designing the artwork and ad copy for Bellamy Acres.
I didn’t realize at first that he was flirting with me.
My boss had to point it out.” Heat rose up into her cheeks.
“I didn’t date in high school. I was too busy making enough money to help with the rent and groceries.
Sounds silly that I didn’t know he was actually flirting. ”
“Not silly at all,” Gerard said. “You’re a beautiful woman.”
Bernie snorted. “Hardly. But Ray thought I was pretty and smart. He said he’d seen me around town, helping other people, working hard, both physically and mentally.
He admired my willingness to do whatever it took to make it in the world, much like him.
On our first date, he took me out to his farm.
It was his life, his heritage and his passion.
I fell in love with his drive and determination to work the land his ancestors had cultivated. ”
“And you’re carrying on his dream,” Gerard said.
“Trying to,” Bernie said.
“And doing a helluva a job.” He gently squeezed her fingers. “Not only am I impressed, but the rest of my team is also.”
Bernie leaned back against the couch cushion. “I’m sorry for monopolizing this conversation. I promise, I never talk this much.” She turned toward him. “What about you? Where did you grow up? What was life like for young Gerard? Any siblings? I always wanted a brother or sister.”
Gerard let go of her hand and reached for the popcorn bucket, a shadow descending across his face. “I grew up in Lafayette, Louisiana. And you were right. You were better off without your father. I wasn’t as lucky. My father stayed.”
Her chest squeezed hard at the tightness in his tone. Bernie reached out and laid a hand on his knee. “How bad was it?”
He stared down at her hand on his knee. “You don’t want to hear this.”
“Yes, I do,” she said, her tone firm. “I want to know the man who’s protecting me.”
He looked at the television screen as he spoke quietly.
“When he wasn’t drinking, he was barely tolerable.
But there weren’t many days that he wasn’t drinking.
Mom took the brunt of his abuse, standing between him and me and my younger brother.
Whenever I tried to stop him, he’d knock me across the room and go back to punching my mother. ”