Thirty
By the time they got the kids back to Smile before dinner and unloaded their own things, Jilly was ready to fall into bed. But she couldn’t. Not tonight. Tonight, Beckett and Grayson had called an emergency staff meeting. Which was all kinds of odd since they had a staff meeting set up for the end of next week before the season’s official opening.
Andrew hadn’t stopped calling and Jillian knew, realistically, her options there were slim. She’d either have to meet up with him or he’d show up.
Tonight’s meeting was at her parents’ at least. Ollie was officially on summer vacation. She’d wanted to stay overnight at Christopher’s but Jillian thought a night of rest was a better idea.
Levi had been in a strange mood on the way back. With packing up, getting the kids ready, chatting with parents, she hadn’t had any time to talk to him, but he’d sent her numerous glances on the boat, a small smile playing on his lips. She’d wondered, several times, if he was replaying last night like she was. Like she couldn’t stop doing.
Ollie came into Jill’s bedroom as she finished changing into sweats and a hoodie. Staff meeting or not, she was tired and in her own home.
Ollie was fresh out of the shower, dressed in her jammies and eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich.
“Hey.” Jilly sat down at her vanity table to brush her hair. She watched through the mirror as Ollie sat on the edge of her bed.
“I should be at the meeting. I’m seasonal staff.”
She bit back her laugh while running the brush through her hair, wishing she’d had time for a long shower. Ollie was very serious about her “position” at the lodge. “Grown-up staff meeting. You’re getting a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, I want to look at a few of the summer camp options with you so that you’re not stuck at the lodge all the time.”
Ollie stopped eating. “I don’t want to go to summer camp. You guys need me at the lodge.”
Setting the brush down, Jill turned on her stool. “You were the biggest help last year, honey. Truly. And I love having you there, but we’re fully booked and there’s a lot of new stuff happening. I don’t want your whole summer to be there. I want you to have some fun and be with friends.”
Her nose scrunched up even as she finished her sandwich. “I had friends at the lodge last summer. We met Aunt Presley, and Bernie will be back and maybe some of the others. Plus, I told Levi I’d show him around and take him on some easier hikes.”
She smiled, loving that her daughter enjoyed the lodge so much and was taking to Levi so well.
She led with that. “I’m glad you like Levi so much. He’s special to me. And you’re the most special to me so that makes it easier for all of us to hang out.”
Ollie looked down at the floor.
“You okay, sweet pea?”
Ollie looked up, pinned her with a gaze just like her own. “How come I don’t spend time with my dad?”
Jilly sucked in a breath too quickly and choked. Pressing her hand to her chest, she took a moment, caught her breath, and then went to sit on the bed. “Come here.”
Ollie came to stand in front of her. “Ginny’s mom and dad are divorced and her mom has a boyfriend but she still goes to her dad’s house. And Christopher asked about my dad and Ginny said maybe Levi could be my dad. Then she asked about my dad and I said he doesn’t like me.”
A tear formed in Jilly’s heart. “Ollie. That’s not true.” He didn’t know her. There was a difference. “I want to say nice things and make you feel better, but the truth is, people make choices that we don’t agree with. That we wouldn’t make for ourselves, and sometimes that really hurts us. Your dad made the choice that he didn’t want a wife and kid or a family. I hate that it hurts you but I swear to you, it’s not because of you. It’s because of him. Who he is.” And she knew, absolutely, that she couldn’t let Andrew back in their daughter’s life. He’d walked away from the privilege, and Jilly knew whatever he was looking for now in terms of relationships was fleeting.
Ollie shrugged again. She almost never asked about Andrew. “Will he ever come visit?”
Panic flared in her chest. It was one thing to vow he’d never get near Ollie, but he was her dad. It was different if Ollie wanted that, too. Jillian took a deep breath, reaching out to tuck Ollie’s curly, slightly damp hair off of her forehead. “I’m not sure. Do you want him to?”
“I don’t know.” She stared at Jillian, her little-girl features too serious. Lines furrowed her forehead like she was thinking too hard.
Jilly gave her a shaky smile. “That’s okay. You don’t have to know right now.”
“I have Uncle Beck and Uncle Gray.”
Nodding, Jilly pulled her closer. “You do. And Grampa.” She almost said Levi but stopped herself. It was nice that they were connecting, but she didn’t want to fill her daughter with expectations she couldn’t see through. She and Levi were new. Wonderful. But new. “You have lots of awesome men who want to be part of your life. Who love you and are grateful for you.”
Ollie gave her a quick hug, nestling her face in Jillian’s neck for just a second. Just long enough to make her heart squeeze.
“I love you,” Jilly whispered.
“I love you.”
Jillian ended up pulling her hair back into a ponytail and leaving it at that. Ollie settled on the couch with her grampa, looking at the word game he was playing on his iPad. She pointed out a word almost immediately. Jillian’s dad tapped Ollie’s nose.
“Smarty-pants,” he said.
Ollie’s smile and her dad’s affection for his granddaughter mended some of the tear, but Jillian still worried. She knew change was part of life, but was it so bad to want everything to stay just like this for a little longer? Everyone she loved, or was falling in love with, to just stay like they were, where they were, until Jillian caught her breath and felt ready for whatever the universe threw at her next?
Jilly’s brothers were joking around about something when the doorbell rang. She was sitting at the table, showing Presley some of the photos from the kids’ camp, her brows pushed together. She heard Ollie exclaim Levi’s name before he walked into the kitchen a minute later.
She was equal parts happy to see him and relieved that Andrew hadn’t followed through on his threat of just showing up.
Getting up from the table, she went over to him, loving that his arms opened immediately. “Hi. I didn’t know you were coming over. We’re actually just about to have a meeting about the lodge.”
After he kissed her cheek he sent both of her brothers a strange look she couldn’t read.
“Why don’t we all sit down,” Grayson said.
Jilly took Levi’s hand and led him to the table, sitting between him and Presley, who had notebooks out, multiple colored pens, and her iPad.
“Hey, Presley.” He set his messenger bag on the floor beside him.
“Hi, Levi.”
Beckett sat at the head of the table, next to Presley. Gray sat across from her. If her mom were making cookies and there had been music playing, it almost would have felt like a scene from their teenage years, all gathered around the table, hanging out.
Something felt… off, though. Levi squeezed her hand and she looked at him, tried to read his gaze. “We didn’t get a chance to talk before now.”
She smiled. “It was so busy getting everyone packed up. But this is okay. You’re welcome to stay for this.”
He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up in a way that made her want to bury her face in his neck and get closer.
“I tried to chat with you this morning, Jillian. This definitely wasn’t meant to be a blindside,” Gray said seriously, pulling Jilly’s attention off of her very attractive boyfriend.
“What’s going on?” Presley asked, sitting up straighter. Like Jilly, her hair was in a ponytail and she wore cozy clothes.
“Levi?” Gray looked at him.
He turned his body so he was looking at Jilly. “Your brothers offered me a job at the lodge. It sounds amazing. I’d still get to make the food I want to make, I could be creative, I’d get to work with you and them, and I can cater on the side.”
Surprise had her opening and closing her mouth without making any sounds. It took her a second but she got her brain to function. “Oh. Okay.” She looked at her brothers. “We probably should have discussed this before.” It was Grayson’s lodge but they were all invested, emotionally and, in small portions, financially.
Looking back at Levi, she tried to smile as her brain worked out what this could mean. “This is something you’re interested in? We could talk about it after this, once we get things ironed out for opening next week?”
Levi’s expression blanked. She stared, waiting for him to say something, and then it clicked. Her heart hitched somewhat painfully. “You said yes.”
He took her other hand as well, squeezed them both. “It’s a chance to do what I love to do without the start-up risks.”
Jilly pulled her hands back, turned her head to look at Grayson. She felt Presley shift a little so their shoulders were touching; a silent show of support.
“All right.” Jillian clasped her hands together just as Ollie walked into the kitchen.
“Hey, peanut,” Beckett said, smiling despite the tension he could obviously see on Jilly’s face.
“Hi. Gramma said if I want milk before bed I better get my butt in here to get it.”
Jillian forced her smile as Grayson got up and grabbed a glass for Ollie, poured her milk. She thanked him, took a long gulp, and then looked up at him. “Mom wants me to go to summer camp but I told her you need me at the lodge.”
Grayson winced, looked at Jilly then back at Ollie. He crouched down. “You’re the best worker of all of us, kiddo. But you need to listen to Mom. Don’t worry, we’ll spend lots of time there together.”
Ollie’s expression shifted, her lips pulling down, her shoulders drooping.
Jilly didn’t mean to blurt it out, but it was in her DNA to try to ease her daughter’s sadness. “Levi’s going to work with us. When you’re there, you could probably help him.”
Ollie’s face lit up like a carnival at night. “Really?”
Levi looked at Jilly, his gaze uncertain, but he smiled genuinely when he looked at Ollie. “Really. I can’t wait. Maybe when there’s kids staying, you could help me come up with some food ideas.”
Jillian’s heart felt like it was being stretched out, pulled in opposite directions. Everyone started talking while she tried to process. This could be so wonderful. It could all work out so beautifully. All of them together. Even their parents, when they wanted to take part. But what if it didn’t all work out? What if she and Levi didn’t last and they had to see each other day in and day out? Part of what made it easier to get over Andrew was reclaiming her life and her space back in her own hometown.
If something happened with Levi, it was bad enough she’d see him all over Smile. She wouldn’t even have work as a refuge. On top of that, Ollie looked like she’d been handed the keys to a toy store with the news, which made Jillian nervous. What if they broke up and Ollie had to see him every day still?
She turned her head, saw Levi watching her, and realized what really concerned her, buried beneath all the rest of it, was the issue of why he hadn’t talked to her. They’d been busy, sure, but this was huge. This was a complete pivot in his life plan. The one he said he was committed to, excited about.
He was committed to and excited about them. If he could change his mind so easily about one thing, didn’t that mean he could rethink them, too?