Chapter Twenty-One #2
That was it. Just Daphne’s preferred name, all she could manage right now.
April spread her legs, hips rolling toward the ceiling in anticipation.
Daphne set one foot on the mattress, positioning the shorter bulb at her own entrance.
Her breath hitched as she slid it inside, then released on a moan.
“You look so good,” April said.
“You like watching me?” Daphne asked. Her voice was almost shy, which just about sent April over the edge.
“God, yeah,” April said, reaching out to touch her thigh. She needed contact, anything to get closer. “You’re so fucking sexy.”
Daphne’s cheeks were pink as she closed her eyes, a tiny smile on her mouth as she moved the toy in and out of her pussy, her breathing ragged and perfect.
April had never seen anything so gorgeous.
“Ms. Love,” she said quietly.
Daphne opened her eyes, all pupil, and looked at April. Then without a word, she moved between April’s legs, positioning the longer cock at April’s entrance.
“Yes,” April said, grabbing on to Daphne’s hips.
“Put your hands over your head,” Daphne said.
April obeyed, her fingers curling into the pillow, gripping it tightly.
“Good girl,” Daphne said, her voice nearly a whisper.
Her eyes roamed over April’s body, drifting her hand down April’s cheek, then to her throat.
Her fingers closed around her neck, just for a second, but fuck if April didn’t release a filthy moan.
Daphne smiled, but kept up her journey, trailing over April’s collarbones to her sternum, to each breast and nipple before traveling down her stomach until she reached her pussy.
She slid her thumb through April’s wetness, making April gasp and beg.
Then she did it again and again, lighter, then harder, dipping inside before circling her clit, never the same touch twice, and soon April was thrashing on the bed, writhing and begging to come.
“Ms. Love, please, please, Ms. Love” was all she could get out, sweat beading on her forehead and between her breasts.
Daphne slid the tip of the dildo inside April, and April nearly cried with relief, but then Daphne stopped.
“Ms. Love,” April said, her voice barely recognizable.
“You need to come?” Daphne asked, her own breath irregular, her lavender hair a tangled mess around her face.
“Please, please, yes,” April said.
Daphne leaned closer, one hand on her cock and the other braced next to April’s head. Their noses bumped, but still Daphne held back. She looked April right in the eye, then kissed her once, keeping her mouth against April’s.
“Then come,” she said, and pushed the cock all the way into April, slow and deep and hard.
April released a stream of words, fucks and Ms. Loves and oh my gods mixed in as she came immediately and came hard.
She didn’t stop coming either, orgasms crashing through her like the sea in a storm as Daphne continued to fuck her, pumping her hips and telling April she was a good girl.
Soon Daphne’s voice grew raspy too, and she buried her face in April’s neck as she shuddered, her cries warm against April’s skin.
Even though she hadn’t been instructed to, April slid her hands to Daphne’s waist. She needed to hold on right now.
She was in a free fall, couldn’t get her breath, her voice, nothing.
There was only Daphne and moans and sweat as they both came, trembling against each other.
It felt like it lasted forever, hard and fast, and then slowing, bit by bit, their bodies connected and moving in tandem.
Daphne was lying fully on top of April by the time they both stilled, her hair splayed over the pillow and half of April’s face, each other’s sweat slicking their skin, but April didn’t care. She loved it, in fact.
Daphne didn’t move either. She stayed cocooned against April’s neck, her warm breath slowing and tickling April’s skin. She was shaking, and April kept her arms around her, holding her tightly. In a few seconds, they were breathing together, inhaling and exhaling in an identical rhythm.
Daphne laughed into April’s neck, then finally lifted herself enough so April could see her face. And fuck, she was so beautiful—hair a mess, face flushed, eyes glassy. April couldn’t help but tuck Daphne’s hair behind her ears, then whisper, “There’s my good girl.”
She hadn’t meant to say it—or say it quite so tenderly, but she didn’t regret it either. It felt right, felt true.
Daphne’s eyes widened a bit, but she smiled so sweetly, April had to pull her down for a kiss. A perfect kiss. Slow and languid, still sexy as hell, Daphne’s tongue sliding against hers like a dance.
Jesus, April was completely addled by this girl in her arms, the soft sounds Daphne made as April held her face and kissed her. They kissed for what felt like forever until Daphne laughed into her mouth.
“My arms are about to give out,” she said, collapsing with her face near April’s ear again. “I think I just used muscles I didn’t even know I had.”
“Best workout in the world,” April said, trailing her fingers along Daphne’s back, and then they stayed like that for a while too, the rain still falling, ripples of thunder in the distance.
“Storm’s coming,” Daphne said, her voice muffled.
April said nothing, just held Daphne tighter.
Eventually, they shifted so they could remove the double dildo—April tossed it on a pile of her dirty clothes to deal with later—and then settled again side by side and facing each other, hands tucked under their chins, close but not touching.
They stared at each other, skin still flushed.
April had so much to say but wasn’t sure she knew the right words.
Wasn’t sure the feeling had even translated into a known language yet.
She felt full to overflowing—overwhelmed, even—and had the sudden urge to disappear into the bathroom for an hour just to get her breath back.
As though reading her mind, Daphne hooked one arm around April’s waist, pulling her tighter.
“I’m not going anywhere,” April said.
“Good,” Daphne whispered, and April’s throat tightened. Just this feeling of being known—and by the unlikeliest person—it was a drug she never wanted to stop taking.
“I’m sorry,” April said after a few minutes, scooting a little closer so she could feel the warmth of Daphne’s breath. “About what happened on the dock at Ramona’s.”
Daphne inhaled, let it out slowly. “I panicked too.”
“It felt like a lot of different things happening all at once,” April said.
“Were you embarrassed?” Daphne asked.
“God, no,” April said, her hand going to Daphne’s face. “Well, maybe a little, but not about you. About me.”
“What about you?”
April sighed. “That’s just it. I don’t know. It’s like what you said on the dock. I deflect. All the time. I think I’ve made a life out of deflecting.”
Daphne’s eyes went soft, and she pulled April even closer. They were breathing each other’s air now, and April could feel herself shaking a little.
“I’m weird, I know,” she went on. “I’m strange and moody and maybe a little silly sometimes, and I don’t know how much of that is me, or how much of it is me trying to find me, if that makes sense.”
“It does,” Daphne said, fingers ghosting through her hair.
“My tattoos, my hair, my rings, my wardrobe—don’t get me wrong, I do like it all. These are my choices, and I don’t regret them, but sometimes, I just don’t…I’m not sure who April Evans really is. I don’t think I’ve ever known.”
“I think everyone feels that from time to time,” Daphne said. “But when you suddenly become aware of that feeling…”
“Yeah,” April said. “I think I’m lost. Like…I know that’s a thing that people say in movies and books, but I think I actually am. I have no fucking idea what I’m doing or what I want.”
Daphne cupped her face and kissed her forehead. April gripped her wrist, holding Daphne in place as she said the next part.
“That moment on the dock,” she said. “I think you scared me.”
Daphne froze, shifting so she could look at April. “I scared you?”
April nodded. “Because right then, I knew exactly what I wanted.”
Daphne’s mouth parted, her eyes searching April’s. But then her expression fell. “And we don’t make sense.”
April’s smile was small. “I don’t know. Probably not, honestly. We’re…There’s…”
“Elena.”
April closed her eyes for a second, nodded. “And the Devon. And you’re a lot younger than me.”
“Eight years.”
“That’s a lot on this side of thirty.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re on that side of thirty,” Daphne said, propping herself up on her elbow. “From my perspective, those years are a blip. Elena was eleven years older than me.”
“Yes, she was,” April said, propping herself up as well so they were eye level. “And she treated you like shit and threw you away like an idiot.”
Daphne’s eyes went wide, and she closed her teeth over her bottom lip.
“Fuck,” April said, hooking her hand behind Daphne’s neck and pulling until their foreheads met. “I didn’t mean that to sound so harsh.”
Daphne shook her head. “You’re right.”
“I added the whole like an idiot part because she’s a fucking idiot.”
“I know,” Daphne said. “And I know she hurt you too. I know—”
“I’m going to deflect again here, but only because I want to make sure you hear me.
” April kept her hand in place, shifting so they could see each other clearly.
“My point is that I don’t want to be an idiot here.
I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want this to be some May-December romance that goes bad because I have no idea who I am. ”
“It’s eight years, not eighteen,” Daphne said. “Closer to seven, even. That’s more May…July.”
April cracked a smile. “Okay. I’ll give you that one. But, Daphne—”
“I don’t want to stop,” Daphne said. She sat up all the way, naked and gorgeous, tangled in the sheet and crossing her legs before taking a deep breath. “I don’t know what you’re about to say, or what excuse you’re about to make about how this was fun, but. I don’t want the but.”
“What do you want, then?” April asked. Her breath was shallow, heart beating quick and soft under her ribs, as though preparing for some unknown encounter.
“I want this,” Daphne said, waving her hand between them. “And no, I don’t know what this even is. Maybe it’s just a fling. Maybe it’s just mind-blowing sex and I don’t want to give it up.”
“Mind-blowing, huh?” April said, grinning.
“Maybe it’s a big fuck you to Elena Watson,” Daphne said, barreling onward.
“That would be satisfying, if a bit problematic,” April said.
“Or maybe it’s true love,” Daphne said, and April had no quippy comeback for that one. “But that’s the point. I don’t know, and I want to find out. I’ve spent the last three years in a relationship where I thought I was safe, and look where that got me.”
April swallowed hard. She’d felt safe with Elena too.
Felt safe with hookups. Felt safe with coming home to Clover Lake, with staying in Clover Lake.
And just as Daphne said, where had all of that gotten her?
She wasn’t sure if that safety was real.
Those choices were easy. Logical, even. The illusion of safety.
“I want to live what I’m feeling,” Daphne went on. “I want to be messy and stupid if that makes me happy right now, and I want that for you too. I choose me. And I want you to choose you. Whatever that means right now, in this very moment.”
“Jesus, Sasha and I have created a monster,” April said.
Daphne huffed a single laugh, but her eyebrows were lifted, her expression all seriousness as she waited for April to respond in kind.
And April knew she would wait. She wouldn’t let April utter some pithy declarative sentence and move on, her brain creating some narrative that let her keep deflecting ad nauseam.
No.
Daphne would wait and wait and wait until April responded with her fucking heart. And April’s heart already knew what it wanted. It wasn’t easy. Wasn’t logical at all. But it was the safest April had felt in a long time. A real, bone-deep kind of security she knew only came from choosing herself.
Choosing her own strange heart.
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay?” Daphne asked, but a smile started to curve her mouth.
“You and me, Love,” April said, her heart beating rapidly behind her ribs. “Whatever that means.”
Daphne grinned, then grabbed April’s arms and hauled her on top of her, April’s naked hips straddling her thighs. Daphne trailed her fingers over April’s shoulders, across her collarbones to her neck until she was cradling April’s face.
“That’s Ms. Love,” Daphne said, then pulled her down for a kiss that soon turned heated again.
And April let it.
She let herself fall, let herself want, let herself feel. And two hours later, when she and Daphne lay tangled together in the sheets, sated and sleepy, she never even considered sneaking away to her own bed.
She was safe and happy right where she was.
“By the way,” April said, her eyelids growing heavier by the second, “my favorite color isn’t actually black.”
“No?” Daphne replied, her voice muzzy. She pressed her nose to April’s neck. “What is it, then?”
“It’s this,” April said, tugging on the ends of Daphne’s lavender hair.
She felt Daphne smile against her skin, her breath warm and her arms tightening around April’s waist as they both drifted off to sleep.