22. Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-two
Nate
Roman: Shira and Mazzy are throwing us a birthday party next Sunday afternoon.
Adrian: You hate parties.
Ben: I don’t. I love ’em.
Roman: Doesn’t matter. Shira wants Ben and me to have a birthday party, so we’re having a birthday party.
Ben: Mazzy says you can’t tell a freshly postpartum woman no.
I’d paused working to read through the texts in our group chat, surprised to see Adrian participating. Given it was a Friday evening, and what I assumed was one of the busiest nights at MHC. But what did I know? Maybe Tuesdays were when the kinksters liked to play.
Their messages brought a slight grin to my face, and I tapped out a reply.
Me: I assume Rome has trouble saying no to Shira always.
Roman: You assume correctly.
Ben: It’s going to be really hard to impress me with a gift this year. I’ve got the hottest woman on the planet and a really cute daughter. Can’t top that.
Adrian: I won’t try. A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.
Roman: Wow, a Seinfeld reference. How timely. Are you turning 50 this year?
Adrian: You scoff but caught the reference. Maybe this is your 50th birthday.
Ben: Anyway…Natey, hope you’re not lonely now that you have your place back to yourself.
Me: It’s pretty damn quiet around here.
Samantha and Kelly had moved out a week ago—Samantha to her house, Kelly to a new apartment on the opposite side of the city from her ex. How fast it had happened had been disconcerting. One day, I had two roommates. The next, the walls of my condo echoed.
Problem was, I’d allowed myself to get used to them.
Surprisingly, Kelly wasn’t the worst company during the long evenings, and the nights with Samantha…
well, there was something to be said about sharing a bed with someone who didn’t know the meaning of personal space.
And once the dam broke, it nearly always led to the hottest sex of my life.
That I had really gotten used to and begun to crave.
Which meant being over sooner rather than later was best.
Adrian: It happened in the nick of time. Nate was making moves to replace me.
Me: We both know that would never happen.
Adrian: IDK. Sammie says things like, “I didn’t know Nate was kind of cool,” and, “Maybe we should invite Nate out to dinner with us.”
Roman: That’s nice.
Adrian: It’s bullshit, is what it is. Nate can find his own best friend.
Ben: Don’t be selfish, Adey. It’s unbecoming. And if you’d finally married her, everyone would know she was yours.
Adrian: Gross. Never say that again.
They continued to bicker, and I set my phone down, leaving them to it. I had other things on my mind, and they didn’t need me.
The following weekend, I arrived at Roman’s house, a bottle of wine for him in one hand and a six-pack of Ben’s favorite beer in the other, surprised to find Samantha pacing on his front porch, wringing her hands.
She spotted me and stopped moving, her eyes going wide. “Nate.”
“Hello, Samantha.”
I climbed the porch steps, giving her a slow scan. How I’d gone so long without acknowledging how breathtaking this woman was beyond me. Now that I’d allowed myself to see her, it was impossible not to notice.
After almost two weeks, she was a sight for sore eyes. Her shorts stopped mid-thigh. Modest by most standards, but her legs were so long there were still miles of flesh on display—silky smooth and welcoming when wrapped around my waist…or head.
Her white top frilled around her chest and floated along her middle, and she’d done something with her blond bob to make it wave around her face instead of the straight it usually was. The overall effect was pretty, sweet, feminine, and utterly sexy.
The last part was unintended, I was certain, and entirely my fault for seeing her that way.
I snapped myself out of it, pulling my gaze to meet her worried eyes. “Something wrong?”
She nodded. “I’m so sorry…she doesn’t want to be alone, and when she found out I was coming, she sort of followed me.”
“Who?”
She stepped closer. “Kelly. She’s inside and really excited to see you—my boyfriend.”
“Ah.” Understanding dawned, though I didn’t see what Samantha was so worked up about. Playing the part of her boyfriend wasn’t a hardship. “That’s fine. I’ll send a text to my brothers to play along. No doubt they’ll get a kick out of being part of the story.”
“Really?” Her eyes darted between mine in a frantic ping-pong. “You don’t mind? I’ve asked so much of you, but I don’t think I have the heart to tell her we broke up—or that it was fake all along.”
“You haven’t asked too much.” I shifted the wine bottle beneath my opposite arm so I could pull her against me. “We should kiss now.”
Her breath stuttered. “Nate, I—”
“Kelly’s peeking out the window.”
“Oh.” She let herself lean against my chest. “I should have guessed. Turns out my sister’s incredibly nosy.”
Her lips were level with mine. And it would seem weird if I didn’t take advantage of that. “I’d better kiss you now. If I don’t, Kelly might wonder.”
“Right.” A crinkle appeared between her brows. “We wouldn’t want that.”
I only had to move a couple inches before my mouth was on hers.
She was as soft as I remembered, her lips slotting with mine like perfectly aligned puzzle pieces.
A kiss for the sake of our witness, I took full advantage, letting myself enjoy it.
The way Samantha tasted and felt against me, it would have been a struggle not to.
“Was that believable?” she asked against my lips.
“Almost fooled me.”
She laughed as she slipped the wine from beneath my elbow. “Then my work here is done. Text your brothers so they don’t blow our cover. I’ll let Mazzy and Shira know to play along.”
I tugged the end of one of her waves. “It’ll be fine. I’ve got you.”
She sighed like she was letting go of something heavy. “Thanks, Nate. I kind of knew you would.” Taking a step back, she smiled. “You’re really the best, you know?”
“Don’t let Adrian hear you say that.”
Laughing, she shook her head. “Oh, I would never.”
The party was good, with my niece, Katty, and nephew, Jonah, taking up the center of attention, as it had been since they’d joined the family.
They ran and giggled. Katty chattered, and Jonah followed her like a little duckling.
Any time the conversation lulled between adults, we’d watch the two of them do their thing.
I was glad Ben and Roman had families. Roman had always taken care of us, and becoming a father had been so natural for him.
Ben had also taken to fatherhood like a fish to water. He was a big kid himself, and Katty thought he hung the moon.
Adrian and I weren’t like them. We enjoyed our nieces and nephew, and I thought I could speak for him as well in saying we’d choose to be around our family over anyone else—but fatherhood wasn’t something I saw in our cards.
Adrian would be good at it. He loved being an uncle, though he’d probably never admit it—but I wasn’t sure he’d allow himself to be vulnerable enough to settle down with someone, let alone have his own children.
And I…well, I was almost thirty-seven. If I had ever been going to settle down, it would have been with Rosalie, and we’d been over for years. The closest I’d come to anything serious since was my fake relationship with Samantha.
I also wasn’t sure passing my faulty genes to a child would be responsible.
Being an uncle…I could be content with that. I had a front-row seat to my brothers’ kids growing up, and that was more than enough for me.
More than I thought I’d ever have.
Samantha walked onto the patio, a beer in each hand. The corners of her eyes crinkled when she smiled at me. She settled my beer on my knee then sat beside me on the love seat, crossing her legs so our feet tangled.
“The energy these kids have,” she said, bringing her beer to her lips.
“It’s endless. It must be why the babies sleep so much.” I nodded toward my niece, Ruby, who was passed out on my chest. “They’re building up a reserve for toddlerhood.”
Samantha stroked Ruby’s ebony hair. “If that’s the case, this one is going to be a locomotive. No one will be able to stop her.”
“Exactly.” I kissed the top of her warm little head. “She’s getting all the sleep now so she can terrorize the neighborhood later.”
Samantha glanced toward Roman and Shira, who he had tucked under his arm. “Or she could be like her mother. Gentle as a little lamb.”
“I’m glad I’ll be around to find out.”
She let her chin fall onto my shoulder with a sigh. “Me too.”
Kelly’s laugh drew my attention. She was getting along famously with Ben and Mazzy. While Adrian wasn’t amused—when was he ever?—they’d both taken her appearance at a family event in stride.
“How is she doing?” I asked.
“I’m not sure. I don’t really know her well enough to gauge her mood, but in the last two weeks, I’ve heard from her more than I have in my entire life. I’ve become her main emotional support, it seems. I don’t know how that happened.”
“Maybe because you don’t have ties to her old life.”
“You’re probably right.” Her fingers wrapped around my bicep, and she snuggled closer. “She’s looking this way. Act like you like me.”
I chuckled. “I do like you.”
“Yeah, but you know”—her eyes flickered to mine—“be my boyfriend for a minute.”
I tipped my chin down and caught her bottom lip with my teeth, giving it a nibble. She made a low whimpering sound, so quiet it almost got lost in the breeze, making the backyard trees tremble.
“You look really pretty today.” I kissed her as lightly as I could. “I should have told you that.”
“Thank you, Nate.” Her lashes fluttered as she came in for another, touching her lips against mine. “You look handsome as always. Well…holding the baby brings you up a good ten notches…”
I brought my forehead to hers. “Are they watching?”
“I heard Kelly say, ‘Awww.’ She’s buying it.” She sucked in a shaky breath. “How have you been sleeping?”
“Not as well without my koala.”
She chuffed. “You slept like shit when I was there.”
“I know.”
Her eyes opened, but we were too close to really focus on one another. “I think I should come over later. We never optimized.”
There were a million reasons why that was a bad idea, but I couldn’t think of any of them. I wanted her back in my bed. Pinned beneath me, whining for more. Or in my bathroom, bent in half with me behind her.
“Mmm. You could—”
Before I could finish, there was no longer a baby in my arms and a shadow above me blocked out the sun.
I looked up, finding Roman holding his daughter, a frown tugging at his mouth. “No flirting while you’re holding Ruby.”
Shira appeared beside him, smiling. “Does that rule apply to you too?”
My brother curled his arm around his tiny wife, bringing her into his orbit. “Of course not. I wouldn’t be able to follow it anyway.”
Shira blushed prettily. On the outside, you wouldn’t think they were a match, between their extreme height difference and Roman’s sternness to Shira’s shy sweetness, but two years of marriage hadn’t made them any less mad about one another.
She gentled him, and he protected her from the harshness of the world.
Roman took his baby and wife, leaving Samantha and me alone. But not for long. Adrian sauntered over, his face blank.
“What was that?”
“Kissing.” Samantha rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you’ve done it once or twice.”
“Why are you kissing my brother?” He turned to me. “Why are you kissing Sammie?”
She hooked her arm around mine. “He’s my boyfriend, remember?” Her eyes rounded as if trying to silently tell him he was supposed to be playing along.
His eyes narrowed. “I never expected to have to witness…that. You’re extremely convincing actors.”
She waved him off. “Kissing Nate isn’t exactly a hardship. His breath is perpetually minty, and his lips are super soft.”
Adrian dragged his fingers through his hair, his face pinched. “This is funny to you, isn’t it?”
Sucking her lips in to hold back a grin, she nodded. “You’re funny to me, buddy. So dramatic over nothing. Get a grip.”
“Who needs a grip?” Ben called as he jogged by. “If it’s Ade, I agree.”
Adrian threw out his arms, exasperated. “What is this, Pick-on-Adrian Day?”
Ben stopped, reversed, and grabbed Adrian in a headlock, rubbing the top of his head. “My birthday party is what it is. I can do what I want.”
The kids saw the grown-ups wrestling, and soon they were on them. Adrian let Ben take him down to the ground so Katty and Jonah could trample them both.
It was so unlike Adrian—hearing his raucous laughter and joyful squeals when the kids pounced and Ben helped them pin him. For once, he let down his defenses, staying fully in the moment.
Before I knew what I was doing, I joined in, unable to help myself.
Probably ruining my shirt with grass stains, but who the hell cared?
It’d been a long time since I’d wrestled with my brothers on the ground.
When Ben landed on top of me, I almost remembered why, but I was laughing too hard to give a damn about my lungs being compressed and the dirt matting my hair.
Katty squeezed my cheeks. “I got you, Uncle Nate!”
I grabbed her body light as a feather as it landed on my chest. “No, I’ve got you!”
Her tiny pink glasses were crooked, cheeks flushed as she squirmed and giggled.
This was it. This was life.
The kids, my brothers, the blue sky and warm sun.
Samantha egging us on. Shira telling us to be careful. Mazzy and Kelly giggling like old friends even though they’d just met.
It struck me in my chest, but not as deeply as it should have—as deeply as I wanted it to.
This joy sat on the surface, unable to sink in.
It was okay. It was all right. Normally, it would have been fine.
But for the first time since my conversation with Louise, I had to ask myself if it was enough.
Maybe it was time for me to figure out how to survive in a setting beyond neutral.