13. Chapter 13
I truly didn't understand Rachel. One moment, she was kissing me, and in another, warm, snuggling against me; then, in the next, she was cold, leaving me standing by the fire.
She didn't have to say it; her eyes had told me that I wasn't welcome in my own tent tonight, just like I hadn't been last night.
The warriors were already packed into one tent. Three at a time was all the space it offered. With a sigh, I resigned myself to another night of sleep against a tree.
Was there some kind of human mating ritual I was missing? The only person I could have asked was tied to a tree, and I would rather disintegrate in a Pit of Dagghar than to ask him.
I had second watch that night, and when Gar-Mon woke me for my shift, my entire body hurt from the second night sleeping against a tree. You're getting soft , my mind whispered as I stretched to get the kinks out of my limbs and back.
"You can take my spot in the tent tonight after your watch," Gar-Mon offered.
A tempting invitation, but I would never sleep with the other warriors and deprive him of his rest. "You're a good male, Gar-Mon," I praised. "Go into your tent and get some rest."
"Sa, Khadahr." He looked as if he wanted to argue but thought better of it. By the tent, he turned one more time, and I shook my head for good measure.
Once he vanished, I resumed patrolling the quiet camp. Carl was asleep too. I had allowed his restraints to be looser so he could stretch out some, not out of the kindness of my heart, but for practical reasons. He still had quite a bit to walk, and I wanted him to reach the Temple alive.
His snoring indicated he was out, so I walked around the two tents, wondering how Rachel was doing. I risked a quick glimpse and found her asleep as well. She looked beautiful and peaceful in the faint light from the dying fire. The desire to fuck her was still there, but slowly something else grew inside me, a yearning to go to sleep and wake up next to her. For her to be the first and last thing I saw at night. I wasn't sure exactly where the notion came from, born from never having taken a mate or from the honest desire for her?
My father died three years after the cave-in. Leaving my brothers and me to rule Bramwell together for two years until the next khadahr trials took place. The first trials without a choosing ceremony. Without our gallies. It had been a depressing and somber affair.
The only reason I had ever experienced the pleasure of the flesh was because our father took us to a house of indoctrination a few months before his death. The gallis working there had passed the childbearing age, and she didn't have any male relatives who claimed her. She had been much older than us, but I hadn't minded. Learning the way of sex had been the only thing on my mind.
Once I became khadahr, a widow who had also passed the childbearing age sought me out, and for a few years, we had both found pleasure with one another. She had been an excellent teacher, and I still missed her, but she had finally accepted the proposal of a retired First Blade and moved to another demesne. Our mating had been out of the question, no matter how much I had liked her and enjoyed her company. I needed an heir. But I wasn't going to beget one until the threat of the humans had been taken care of. To which I was one step closer now.
In a few months, I could go to the Temple, pay my tithe there, and receive a young gallis as my mate. One who would give me the desired heirs. That had been the plan.
Until I grabbed Rachel on impulse.
I tried to tell myself it had only been done out of curiosity. Because she had been right there. I wanted to gain more leverage, but I knew all of that was a lie.
I took her because when she walked into my room at IC, I had desired her like I had never desired anybody before. She was more beautiful than any gallis I had ever laid eyes on. But it wasn't just that. She carried herself with a grace that was seldomly seen—the grace of a true khadahrshi. I had recognized it within the first moments of our encounter. When she had still been in the hall after I grabbed Carl, it had been as if Vorag himself had put her into my path.
Now, I just had to figure out how to win her over. I doubted it would be as simple as asking her to be my khadahrshi. Nek, a simple question that would have given me a sa from any gallis on Vandruk wouldn't do with Rachel. I just didn't know what else I could do. What could I say or offer her? I needed to know what the human rituals were. Hopefully, the human gallies Tzar-Than and Dzur-Ghan had taken would be at the Temple. Perhaps one of them could give me advice. I wasn't too proud to ask.
The sun rose on the horizon, and I realized I had pondered the entire night away. And not with thoughts on how to get revenge or stop the humans from crossing, but over a gallis. Rachel.
I collected an armful of wood and revived the fire I had also allowed to burn out, wondering if I would have even heard an intruder. That thought didn't sit well with me, and even though it wasn't her fault, I glared at Rachel when she came out of the tent. Stretching and brushing her fingers through her long, auburn hair, she was a temptation that made my cock stiff within a breath from seeing her.
Fuck.
"Ghan-Zahr"." She aimed straight for me. "I need to wash."
I groaned. It wasn't that I didn't want to take her to the nearest stream. It was the thought of catching a glimpse of more of her skin that did me in.
"Follow me," I instructed, gruffer than I meant to. "Rhon-Dhar, we're going to the stream. Get the camp ready to leave. We'll catch up."
"Sa, Khadahr."
I waved Rachel to follow me and started moving down the stream we had camped next to. Not many paces later, it widened into a natural pool. Flanked by boulders on either side, it was secluded and safe.
She thanked me as I turned my back to her, not wishing to catch one glimpse of her out of fear I would lose what little self-control I had left. Unbidden, the memory of our kiss returned to me; my fingers tingled as if I could still feel her subtle flesh underneath their tips. I groaned as my cock hardened. Not again.
Soft splashing behind me was a telltale sign that she had entered the water. Naked. I took a deep, calming breath. The gods help me. I tried to distract myself from my depraved thoughts by scanning the area for predators or any danger, but there was nothing. Vandruk was eerily quiet this morning.
"Soap?" she asked from the water.
"Use leaves, at bottom of lake," I informed her after having learned how the humans sanitized. I did admit that I would miss their showers. It was a luxurious way to clean oneself. The soap, too, had been a nice invention I liked. I wondered if any of the human gallies from Tzar-Than's group would be able to make more soap. It would be nice to use it on long journeys. Not every body of water on Vandruk grew the oily leaves we used to cleanse ourselves.
"Got it. Oh, that's nice."
I almost turned at the sound of her voice, but immense willpower held me in place.
"Shout when finished," I called over my shoulder, wiping sweat off the back of my neck. Gods, I needed strength.
"Uh"." She sighed.
"What?"
"I don't have a towel," she admitted. "Or clean clothes."
I cursed. I couldn't help her with either. I could have run back to camp to see if Rhon-Dhar had left a fur or two she could use, but I didn't want to leave her alone.
"It's okay." Splashing followed her announcement as she stepped out of the water.
"Rachel"." To dagghar with my self-control, I spun around, not even looking at her. I pulled her into my arms and crushed my lips to hers. Needing the contact like I needed air.
Her wet arms slung around my neck in a soft moan as she surrendered to my kiss.
"Tell me stop now. If we kiss more… I can't stop," I panted after a few moments.
Her eyes were dark pools of longing, reflecting my own desire. Her lips were wet and swollen, and when she pulled her lower lip between her teeth, I nearly lost.
"Rachel," I rasped.