Chapter 7 Ghana
Two Weeks After the Mayhem . . .
Ruger and I pulled into the parking lot of the clubhouse and pulled into our designated parking spaces. This would be my first official day of seeing the crew since I’d been back.
A week after all the bullshit died down, I put the house in Collierville on the market, shut down the bookstore, but kept the shelter up and running because I couldn’t leave the people hanging.
Ms. Gina, the administrator, and her son, Matthew, were now the owners of the shelter.
I signed over all the paperwork and left them to it.
Ms. Gina was happy as hell and thanked me a thousand times before I had to rush her off the phone.
It was fucked up that I had to do the shit, but Kenzi was right. If I stayed in Memphis, I would have set that whole city on fire.
I didn’t want to pop out so quickly, because I still had to wrap my head around all the shit that happened and didn’t feel like being welcomed home just yet.
Since I had time to think, I was now ready to see my club family. These men had become my brothers and mentors when I felt I had no one to lean on. They kept me level-headed, most of the time, but always showed me love and had my back through anything. I truly did miss them.
Ruger and I walked inside the building.
“Ayo! Look who’s back!” Ruger yelled out. Every head turned, then a bunch of roars resounded around the room. A grin that wasn’t forced hit my face and made my chest feel light as my brothers gathered around me.
Kylo, one of the enforcers, picked me up, and that encouraged the rest of them to join in, bouncing me in the air like I was crowd surfing and shit.
“Come on, bruh! Put me the fuck down!” I yelled with a bit of humor in my tone. They put me down and hugged me one by one.
“We missed you, G. Shit ain’t been the same since you’ve been gone.
Glad to see you, my baby,” Jax said, stepping through the crowd and hugging me.
He held on to me a little longer than expected, and I knew why.
Besides Ruger, Jax was the only other person who knew how deep my condition went.
Of course, with him being Ruger’s brother, he was bound to know anyway.
But he never treated me differently and showed me great respect.
“It’s good to be back, man. I miss y’all niggas too.”
“We ridin’ out tonight. Hellraizers block party. Even got Christian Miller, K Millz and Knowledge to perform. It’s gon’ be lit as fuck!” Slick said, patting my shoulder, geeked as hell.
I nodded. “That’s what’s up.”
“A’ight, let’s get some drinks going, and bring Grue up on the latest news. We gon’ turn up like old times,” Jax said.
I smiled. “’Preciate you. I can’t stay long, got an appointment in an hour, but I’ll be at the block party for sure.”
“That’s cool. We’ll be brief. What you drinking?”
“Give me a shot of 1942.”
“You got it.” We walked over to an empty table and took a seat. Mina, the bartender, walked over to us with a smile and a tray full of shots.
“Gruesome! It’s so good to see you, baby.” She leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“What’s up, Mina? It’s good to see you too.”
“I hope you’re back for good.”
“Yeah, I’m here. It feels good to be back home around my people. Feel like I did a bid.” I chuckled lightly.
“Shit, it seemed like it,” Devour said as we all laughed.
Looking around at the Motor City Rebels, I didn’t realize that I was still homesick, even after convincing myself that I was settled in Memphis.
It took Nichelle betraying me to see how much I should have made her ass stay here instead of following her ass.
If it weren’t for us having to lay low after killing the Blaze Burners, I probably wouldn’t have let her convince me to stay when my heart wasn’t settled there.
Then that bitch went and played in my face.
I did feel bad about what I did to the baby.
I would never hurt a kid, but being off my meds had me in a fit of rage.
I’d been putting off seeing the therapist Kenzi referred me to since I’d been home. I didn’t feel like talking to anybody. I needed to get my head together before I finally agreed to take the appointment. I doubted if the shit worked, but I would try for Kenzi.
Ruger grabbed a shot from the tray. “A’ight, let’s toast to our brother being back home and to new beginnings.”
“New beginnings,” we all said in unison, tossed the shots back, then got down to business.
Yeah, home was where I needed to be.
Pulling into the parking lot of the therapist's office, I turned off the engine and just sat there for a minute. My first thought was to leave. I didn’t want to be here or talk to this chick.
Being here took me back to Doctor Ventura and how he always wanted me to talk when I didn’t have the energy to do shit.
His prying oftentimes made me want to punch his ass in the mouth for, in so many words, calling me crazy. Saying shit like ‘You need medication to keep calm’ and ‘You know you’re scaring your family, right?’. That shit wasn’t normal for a therapist to say or ask me.
Now that I thought about it, I believed he and Ashanti were in cahoots. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had been giving him something other than money.
Kenzi’s words rang in my head like an alarm to wake my mind up.
Just try for me, Brother. Just try. I need you to get it right for my babies and me.
The look in her eyes made my chest tight because I wanted to be right and do right for her. Her soon-to-be kids needed an uncle who wouldn’t fly off the handle if they happened to be some bad-ass kids. I wanted them to love being with their uncle and not be scared of him.
“Fuck it,” I said, then got out of my car and headed inside. As soon as I stepped in, the scent of something floral hit my nostrils. The air smelled clean, like the smell of a brand-new car off the lot. The floors were so shiny that I could see my reflection in them.
Pictures of famous doctors, black leaders, and African art adorned the walls.
Plants and flowers were strategically placed around the lobby with white walls and cream and brown furniture.
There was an oval-shaped desk that sat high, and on it were the last names of the therapists, I assumed, since Kenzi’s last name was on it.
Abara, Blake, and Miller. M.D.
Sis’s office was dope as shit, and I smiled on the inside, knowing she did exactly what she had set out to do.
I walked further toward the desk and saw the receptionist wrapping up a call. She looked up at me and smiled.
“Hi, do you have an appointment?”
“Yeah, with Doctor Blake.”
“Name?”
“Ghana . . . Abara.”
“One moment.” She picked up the phone and pressed a button, spoke briefly, then hung up. “She’s waiting for you. Go down this hall, and it’s the last door on the left.”
I gave her a small nod and headed down the hall she instructed me to. My heart pounded a little because I hated therapists. But I knew I had to do this shit for Kenz.
When I made it to the door, it opened, and instantly, my racing heart came to a stop when I locked eyes with the woman known as Doctor Blake.
This woman looked like a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night, fresh breath after brushing and rinsing with mouthwash, or like an accomplishment after completing something you worked hard for.
My eyes traveled from her soft, honey-blonde curls to her honey-colored eyes. Her skin was the color of caramel and looked soft and well-moisturized. Her pink lips were pouty, with the bottom one slightly smaller than the top. Her round face held two dimples that appeared when she smiled at me.
I didn’t think I’d ever seen a woman this beautiful who grabbed my attention this quickly.
Shit! This therapy shit might not be too bad after all.
Ms. Blake was beautiful as fuck. She had me imagining what a baby would look like coming from her.
I bet she tastes like Starburst.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Abara. Please come in and sit wherever you’d like.”
I walked inside, looking around her office.
Everything inside looked like her—soft, beautiful, and quintessential.
Her beauty had me tongue-tied. I was scared to speak, thinking that if I opened my mouth, the negative thoughts that plagued my mind every day would taint this angelic being.
So, without speaking, I moved to the chair at a table that she had set up by the window.
“Would you like a bottle of water?”
I nodded, still unable to open my mouth.
I watched her walk over to her desk, round ass, slim waist, wide hips on full display.
My dick pressed against my jeans as I tried to remain respectful and not turn on my charm to take her ass down.
She grabbed two bottles of water, then walked over and sat on the other side of the table.
The sun kissed her skin, making her illuminate, further turning my lust into need.
I don’t think this shit gon’ work.
“So, let’s start with an icebreaker. My name is Doctor Autumn Blake.
I’ve been working in the medical field for seven years now.
I’ve helped some of the best people and some of the worst. Just to let you know, I’m not one of those therapists who’s going to make you do anything you’re not ready to do.
“If you want to sit in silence for the whole hour, then we can do that. Just know that, to find the median, I need a starting point to work with. So, you can start off by telling me something about you. It can be something good or what you struggle with, whichever you’d prefer.
” She leaned back in her chair and crossed those pretty-ass legs.
She took a sip of her water, then gave me a light smile.
I sat up and cleared my throat. “Where’s your notepad? Ain’t you supposed to write down shit I say to evaluate me?”
She tapped her finger on her temple. “Mental notes. I’m good at retaining information.” She winked, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Don’t do that shit.” My voice dropped a few octaves.
Her smile faded, and her face turned into confusion. “I’m sorry. Do what, Mr. Abara?” she asked.
I wasn’t sure if she even realized what the fuck she was doing to me. Why the fuck would my sister refer me to her? Did she not know that I would be attracted to this woman? Did she know how possessive I could be when I went after something I wanted?
Honestly, I wasn’t looking for another relationship. Nichelle fucked that shit up for the next chick, because now, I had trust issues. But Ms. Blake looked like a damn good distraction from feeling this heartbreak.
I stood abruptly. “Nah, this shit ain’t gon’ work.” I walked toward the door before her voice stopped my stride.
“It can work. You just have to allow yourself to believe it will. Don’t walk away from your blessing, Mr. Abara. If you stay, I can assure you that I can help you.” She didn’t stand, she didn’t crowd me, and her voice was tender and caring.
I looked back at her and shook my head. “Nah, if I stay, I’m going to fuck you.” I could hear her gasp lightly.
Yeah, inhale, Ms. Blake. That’s exactly what you’d be doing while I’m coaching you to breathe through that nut.
“Mr.”—she paused, looked away briefly, then her eyes came back to me—“I can guarantee that can’t and won’t happen.”
“It can, and it will. I need some time, man. I’ll hit you when I’m ready.”
The look on her face was stoic. She didn’t say shit else as I opened the door and walked out.