Chapter 14 Autumn
The Following Week . . .
I hadn’t spoken to Ghana in a week.
Since the night of our date, when he fucked me like it was our last day on Earth, I hadn’t equated it to it being our last time speaking.
My texts went ignored, my calls went unanswered, and I even went to his loft to see what was going on, but to no avail. To say I was disappointed and wanted to slice the tires on his bike was an understatement. I was confused and frustrated with the way he just ghosted me.
So many times, I wanted to ask Kenzi where he was, but I decided not to disrupt her with my worries. If it hadn’t been for the consistent flowers or Kenzi freaking out if she hadn’t heard from him, I would have thought something had happened to him.
Even though we’d just met, it didn’t feel that way to me. The things he said, the things he’d done, and the way he had sex with me had me reevaluating my damn self.
I had never had a man make me feel the way Ghana had in such a short time. I wasn’t the fairy tale type of woman, and I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but I did believe that it could grow over time if you really liked that person.
But not with Ghana.
I felt the butterflies, saw the admiration in his eyes, believed the words he said to me, and the way he made love to my body—Jesus. I needed to call my mom so she could pray for me because the way he made me feel had to be some kind of sorcery.
I had never felt so alive when he sucked my vagina or pounded my insides. I wasn’t trying to crowd him, but something had been off with him since the night of our date, and I wanted answers.
He couldn’t say the things he said to me and make me feel the way he’d been making me feel, then decide to cut off all contact with me.
How the hell did that shit work?
“I’d like to see you next week. Will Wednesday be good for you?” I asked my patient, Anna Slater, who suffered from schizophrenia.
“I’ll have to check my schedule, but that should be fine.”
“Okay. Call the office and keep me updated.”
I walked her to the door, then closed it once she walked out.
I needed a moment to get my thoughts and feelings in check.
I couldn’t keep stewing on this shit with Ghana.
Whatever had him MIA for the past week could continue to happen, because one thing I did know was that I wasn’t about to trip over it.
After taking my lunch, I breezed through the rest of the day before it was time for me to go pick Taylor up from my mom’s house. I knew seeing her little golden face would make me feel better, as it had been since Monday.
She was my ray of sunshine.
I pulled into my mom’s driveway thirty minutes later and got out.
As I approached the door, I heard a motorcycle engine coming down the street.
I didn’t think anything of it until I noticed the cerulean-blue bike and the skull-and-head decal on its side.
My first instinct was to run to him, but I decided to ignore him just as he had been ignoring me.
How the hell does he know where my mother lives?
“Ros!” he called out to me once he silenced his bike. “Baby, hol’ up!”
I continued walking until I reached her door and fumbled with the key.
“Shit!” I exclaimed, dropping them on the ground.
“Baby—”
I spun around and glared at him. I waited until he got close and let him know exactly how I felt.
“You really have some nerve, Mr. Abara. How dare you ghost me for almost a week and think I’m supposed to be excited to see you?
You couldn’t even freaking text me back to let me know if you were okay! ” I hissed through my teeth.
He ran a hand over his waves. “I was wrong, but it was for a good reason.”
“Oh, really? Please tell me the reason. I’d love to hear the excuse.”
“It’s not an excuse, Ros. I heard some shit that took me over the edge, and I couldn’t be around you while I was like that—”
“I’m your therapist. It’s why you come to me. Whatever you heard that had you feeling a way, you know you could have come to me. I told you from the beginning that I know how to separate the two.”
“I couldn’t. I didn’t want you to know about it, because I didn’t want you to try to change my mind. I needed time to calm myself down before I came back around you. I sent you flowers to let you know that I was still thinking about you.”
“That’s not enough. If you’re going to court me, I need your honesty and commitment. That’s all I want, aside from your loyalty. If that’s too much for you, then maybe we should just cut out all the romance and go back to me being professional.”
“Not happening, so I need you not to say that shit again. I’m not giving you up.
I fucked up. I’m going to make mistakes because this is the first time I ever felt something real, and I don’t know how to process the shit I'm going through without crashing out. I never want to be around you when the light gets dark. If I hurt you, I’ll never forgive myself. ”
I sighed. “I understand that. But you once told me that the sight of me made you calm,” I reminded him.
“I did. And it still does. But I won’t lie and say that, although I feel at peace when I’m with you, the shit still don’t scare me. I can’t control the shit sometimes, and I would never want you to see that side of me. That’s why I’m here. Been having ya moms pray over me and shit.”
“Wait, about that. You’ve been coming to see my mom? How do you even know where she lives, and how did you even get in contact with her?”
“In one of our many conversations, you told me where her church was, and I pulled up on her after I dropped you off Sunday morning. She invited me back here, fed a nigga, talked to me about you a little bit, then prayed over me. Been coming here all week. It’s why I’m here now.”
I frowned. “So you’ve met my daughter?”
He shook his head. “I usually come when she’s napping, or after you come get her. I wanted to give you the respect and honor of introducing me to her.”
I looked away, not knowing how to feel about him seeking out my mother for help and guidance. I mean, she did say she wanted to meet him, and I was going to make it happen this week, but it seemed he beat me to it. “I don’t know how I feel about this,” I admitted.
He stepped closer to me and gripped my hips.
We stared into each other’s eyes, and he planted a soft kiss on my lips.
“You don’t gotta feel no way, baby. I apologize for how I played this, but I needed somebody other than you to help me with this situation.
Plus, I wanted to get to know your moms for myself.
I didn’t mean to take that from you, but after hearing her pray for me when she didn’t even know me, something told me it was safe to trust her. ”
I smiled a little, allowing the tension to ease from my body.
“If you’re going to pursue me, I need you to let me in, Ghana.
I trust that you will never hurt me, so I need you to trust me with your feelings.
Whatever it is, even when you get angry, I need you to talk to me.
If you want my mom to pray for you, let me know, and we can get her on the line.
If you need space, I can give you that, but don’t shut me out.
“Sending flowers won’t work for me. You have to communicate with me, or it will only make me think you don’t want me, and I’ll step back. I’ll appoint you to Willow or someone not associated with our office.”
“Not happening, so you might as well quit talking that bullshit. But I hear you, baby, loud and clear, and I won’t shut you out.”
“Pinky swear,” I said, holding out my finger.
“Nah, I promise,” he said, kissing my finger just as the door opened, and my mom stood in the doorway.
She smiled at us, then looked at Ghana. “I heard your bike and was wondering why I didn’t hear the bell. Y’all come on here. Dinner is ready.”
I picked my keys up from the ground, then took Ghana’s hand, and we entered the house.
The first thing I did was head straight to the playpen in the living room to my baby.
She sat inside with her toys and favorite read-along book, trying to sound out the words.
When she saw me, she stood, holding on to the edge of the playpen.
“Ma-Ma!”
“Hi, Mommy’s baby. I missed you.” I cooed and picked her up. I covered her in kisses as she smiled brightly. I turned and headed back over to Ghana, who stood in the entryway, looking nervous.
“I want you to meet Mommy’s new friend. Can you say hi to Ghana?” I asked.
She stared at him as if trying to figure out if he was real. “Say hi, baby. Don’t be shy,” I encouraged her. She lifted her little hand and did the open and close wave.
“Hi, Taylor. It’s nice to meet you.” Ghana smiled and held out his palm, and surprisingly, Taylor placed hers in his.
He smiled wider. “She’s beautiful. Just like her moms.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“Come. Let’s get some food in us. Autumn, take Ghana to get cleaned up,” my mom said, taking Taylor from me. “We’ll be in the kitchen.”
I took Ghana’s hand and led him down the hall to the bathroom. I pulled him inside, closed the door, and then attacked his lips. His arms came around my waist, pulling me close as we engaged in a heated kiss. I pulled away and looked into his eyes.
“I missed you,” he said.
“You wouldn’t have to miss me if you didn’t ghost me.”
He smirked. “I see I have a lot of making up to do.”
“You damn sure do. A whole week’s worth because I need that.” I slipped my hand inside his jeans and pulled his face to mine to kiss him. I palmed his dick and closed my eyes. The thump that hit my clit had me wanting to bend over so he could ruin me, but he stopped me and smiled.
“Chill, mama. I’m not fuckin’ you in your mom’s crib.”
I licked my lips and smirked. “I know that, sir. I just wanted to touch my friend.”
“You know what touching him comes with, so why you want to play with him like that?”