Chapter Thirty-One
Melissa
Thank heaven for small favors. Travis had just barely pressed his lips to mine when King called out to the room. And thank God he did. Because hearing Travis talk about the night we met, calling me his queen.
Not only were my panties soaked, but I would have let him lay me out on this bar in front of God and everybody just to feel him inside me again.
Travis leaned back with a groan. My fingertips brushed over my lips as I watched him. The sexy, imperceptible wink told me he knew exactly what I was feeling at that moment.
Why did he have to be a biker?
Not just any biker. A biker in my brother’s club.
Tearing my eyes away, I quickly scanned the room for Dani. She was still on the couch with Tank, though the TV had been turned off. Standing from my stool, I intended to go get her, but Travis stopped me.
“Stay. She’s ok.”
He pulled me back against his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I should stop this. I should walk out of his arms and sit back on my stool. What I should do is reiterate that this thing between us could never happen.
But what did I do?
I settled back against him. I let his heat, and his strength, envelop me like a warm coat. Closing my eyes, I let myself have him for just a few minutes. Another memory I could cling to at night when I was alone.
King’s voice pulled me from the cocoon I was lost in.
“I just got a call from Danny. He and Dante are ok. They’ll be here tomorrow. Amber, I need to see you in church.”
I froze where I stood.
I didn’t know what to feel. So many emotions tumbled through me at once.
Joy—I was happy they were alive.
Thankful—Dani was getting her fathers back.
Jealous—They were her parents. Not me.
Furious—They abandoned her.
Anxious—Would they let me stay in her life?
Vulnerable—How would I let her go?
Powerless—It wasn’t my choice. It wasn’t my decision.
I was left at the mercy of yet another man, another biker, who had the power to tear my world apart.
I knew Dante would want me to stay in Dani’s life. But Danny was the one in charge. It was clear in my interactions with him that he ruled the home. Someone always did.
Couples liked to believe they had an equal placement in their homes. A partnership, 50/50. It wasn’t reality, though. Someone always had the upper hand. Even if they did it in a kind and compassionate, loving way.
Someone was always the leader.
Without leadership, the world broke down.
The same was true in relationships.
One of the reasons the divorce rate was so high in this country was because couples fought over who would be the leader. Whether they realized it or not.
Couples that stayed together had a clear and defined leader, even if they didn’t admit it publicly. Whether it was the husband or the wife didn’t matter. Many people believed gender roles were archaic. But sex didn’t define the role of one’s gender. To be honest, gender didn’t define the role either.
Personality did.
Some people were more nurturing. Softer, more loving in their care of others, like Dante. Providing for their family’s emotional needs or taking on the role of what was classically considered the mother in a relationship.
Whereas others were more protectors. They typically provided in a more tactical way. Working to support the family, providing for their needs in a physical way, like Danny. These individuals took on what was classically considered the father in a relationship.
While it was common for the ‘father’ to be the leader while the ‘mother’ submited to his direction, it could be the opposite. In some cases, it was the nurturer who led as the protector. The point was the same, regardless.
One person had to take control.
One individual, whether it be the father or the mother or the male or a female, the alpha male or alpha female in a same sex relationship, had to be willing to take on the consequences of their bad decisions. Not just the praise of their good decisions.
Danny was the leader.
It was clear in the way Dante deferred to him time and again. Danny was the one who would decide if I was allowed to stay in Dani’s life.
But Danny also had a big heart. He loved hard. When someone like Danny opened their heart to you, you cherished it. People who loved big, didn’t always love easy. And we often took for granted that love, not coveting it and protecting it like it should be.
I’d had less than two weeks to get to know Danny. Less than two weeks for him to get to know me. I was certain he dug into my background. Certain he knew everything about me.
Well, almost everything.
Would he have found evidence of what had happened to me? Had he found evidence of what Gunner had done? Our father got rid of the body. We never knew how. But our father was a selfish bastard. He knew he would have been in just as much trouble with the drugs he brought into our home.
But could you really learn what a person was like by the evidence of their past? Maybe he could. Something in my background convinced him he could trust me. Otherwise, why would he leave Dani in my care?
That had to mean something, right? A glimmer of hope sparked until I remembered how they had chosen me for Dani’s therapy.
Zach.
Zach had recommended me. Danny clearly trusted Zach enough to trust me.
The clapping, cheering, and foot stomping pulled me out of my head. It loosened my feet from their spot on the floor and I rushed over to lift Dani into my arms.
Holding her tight against me, I cried.
I was sure everyone thought they were happy tears. They weren’t. I was losing Dani. I had less than twenty-four hours before they came back for her and there was nothing I could do.
Travis stepped up behind me and pulled me into his arms.
“It’s ok, Princess. We’ll figure it out.”
“There’s nothing to figure out. They’re her parents. They make the decisions. I was simply the babysitter.”
“You weren’t a fucking babysitter. You’re her mom. They’ll see that. They won’t rip her away from you. I won’t let them.”
Later that evening, I sat on the floor in the bathroom of my room while Dani played in the bath. I was eager for Danny and Dante to see the progress Dani had made, despite the dread that loomed over me.
There was a knock on the door, and I called out to whoever it was, giving permission to enter the room. I wouldn’t leave Dani unattended for even a moment. It only took seconds for a child to drown.
I looked through the open doorway as Travis entered.
He sat on the bed instead of entering the bathroom, and I had to respect his awareness of Dani’s privacy. She may only be two years old, a baby still in so many ways, but she was still a person. And he wasn’t related to her.
“How are you?”
Inhaling deep gave me a moment to put my feelings into words.
“Scared. Happy. Distraught. I honestly don’t know how to feel.”
Dani splashed in the water, oblivious to my heartbreak. She had no idea how much her world would change again tomorrow. I had to remind myself this was a good thing.
They were alive.
They came back for her.
They loved her.
But I loved her too. I could only hope and pray that they would see that. As a psychologist, I would recommend they didn’t make any rash decisions with Dani’s care and therapy. She still had a long way to go, and consistency was key. Moving her away from the only person she’d had in her life with regularity could be detrimental to her healing.
But would they believe me? Would they believe I could still be impartial with Dani’s care? Or would they think I was making shit up and letting my emotions rule over my logical thinking?
I couldn’t deny that my heart was breaking. My inclination was to pack Dani up and run. Take her away where no one would ever find us.
Only, Danny would find us. He was the one person who would always find us. There wasn’t anywhere on Earth I could hide from Danny ‘Sypher’ Franks.
“Ok, Dani, time to get out.”
I grabbed a towel and her little pout both thrilled me and tore at my heart. I loved she was displaying her displeasure. But I wanted more. She wanted to stay in the bath, but she wouldn’t complain. She was still too compliant. Too easy to give in to what she was told.
I had to remind myself it had only been three months. Three measly months since she had been found. Three months since she had learned how to accept love. The progress she had made was impeccable.
Still, I wanted more for her. I wanted her to push her boundaries like a two-year-old should. I wanted her to throw a tantrum. I wanted her to cry in anger instead of always crying in sadness.
She’d had enough sadness in her life.
Wrapping the towel around her, I walked to the bed and laid her down next to Travis. He leaned over beside her, tickling her chin, causing her to giggle, while I located her diaper and pajamas.
When I turned around, my hand went to my mouth to hide the gasp that wanted to escape. Travis lay on the bed next to Dani. Her little hands reached up, and she held his face. He leaned over, rubbing his nose against hers, and she giggled again.
The tears couldn’t be stopped.
I stood there watching this large, rough biker playing with this tiny little thing. He bopped her nose and nuzzled her neck. He blew raspberries on her cheek.
And she laughed.
Completely unaffected by the storm clouds that hovered over me. Waiting to pour down misery, drenching me in sadness.
“Hey,” Travis whispered.
Blinking rapidly, trying to dry out my eyes, I smiled the best I could. Joining them on the bed, Travis sat up and away from Dani when I unwrapped the towel to dress her.
Once she was dressed, I pulled the plate of cookies from the bag on the dresser. Hash, the clubhouse cook, had made some today after I explained what I wanted them for.
Travis picked up Dani, and he sat against the headboard while I grabbed her books.
“Cookies before bed? Wish I had a mom like you.” He winked in a teasing manner, but it suddenly occurred to me I knew nothing about this man.
“What was your mom like?” I asked, climbing onto the bed next to him. He settled Dani between us and gave her a cookie.
“My mom was great. She worked hard to keep a roof over our heads and food in our belly.”
“Was it just you and her?”
His eyes dropped to Dani. “I have a little brother. No idea who my dad was. He left when I was Dani’s age. My mom found out she was pregnant again and he hightailed it out as far as he could.”
“I’m sorry. My parents weren’t great.”
“You had Gunner though.”
“Yea, until I didn’t.”
“Melissa—”
“Pick out a book, Dani.” I didn’t want to talk about Gunner. Or my childhood. Dani’s nighttime routine gave me an excuse to ignore the look Travis gave me.
For years, I used school as an excuse not to form a romantic relationship. The truth was, I didn’t want to get to know people. I didn’t want to share childhood stories with others. My childhood wasn’t the stuff of fairy tales. It was the stuff of nightmares.
Nightmares were meant to stay in the dark.
I read Dani her books while she ate her cookies. Then I laid her in the crib. I wanted nothing more than to hold her in my arms all night. But it was time to put space between us.
“I’ll let you get some sleep,” Travis said, moving toward the door.
“Travis?”
He turned back, his eyes answering the question I was too afraid to ask. I didn’t want to sleep alone. I didn’t want to lay in this bed, dwelling on tomorrow.
He removed his cut, laying it on the dresser. Next, he sat on the bed and removed his boots. I stood there, waiting. Not sure what to do. Travis reached up and took my hand, and pulled me to stand between his knees.
“Whatever you need.”
We crawled into bed, and Travis pulled me against his chest. I clung to his T-shirt and cried myself to sleep.