Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ghost
I can tell Tizzy is nervous as we make our way down to our room. I had a lot of time to think on the drive back home, and I think I may know what happened that night. It wasn't just her getting kicked out, walking out of that trailer park, and leaving town. Yeah, that may be the main point, but I have a very big suspicion Tizzy left out the meat and potatoes of the story, and I'm determined to understand it. She wrings her hands again as we make it through the door. As it closes behind us, I don't even get the chance to open my mouth.
“Okay, just tell me. What did you find?” Before I can answer, she's off again. “Never mind, you couldn't have found anything, right? It was years ago. There's probably no one in that town that even remembers me or my family. I..”
“Actually,” I stop her before she has a chance to work herself up. I’ve been driving for days, freezing my balls off, and missing her like fucking crazy. The faster we get this conversation out of the way, the faster I can hold her in my arms and never let go. There's still the problem of who is actually after her, seeing as this last trip was a dead end. But that’s a problem for later.
“Actually, what? What happened?” she asks, even more anxious.
“I met one of your neighbors. Older man. A drunk, if I understand it correctly.”
“Well, that doesn't narrow it down much. Everyone that lived in that place was some kind of addict.”
“Well, this one in particular said he liked to keep an eye out for you. Threatened your stepdad once when he caught him hurting…” She gasps, causing me to stop.
“Mr. Withers? He’s still alive? Oh, my gosh. He was looking a little rough when I was a kid. Please tell me he got better. Is he doing okay? I’ve worried about him…”
“Bunny, Bunny, calm down. He’s completely fine. Old as fuck, but fine. Thought you and your family were all dead. He actually had a really wild theory about what happened. Seeing as he was the one who discovered the blood-covered floor.” I raise a brow at her and curse when her face goes pale.
“Are they after me? Did they figure it out? Do they know where I am now?”
“Baby girl, please, you're killing me here. Do you think I would let anyone get to you? Even the blue?” She exhales and then comes to me, placing her forehead on my chest and taking a deep breath.
“I’m so sorry, big guy. I should have told you before you went all the way out there. I just didn't know how,” she whispers, and I reach up to run my fingers through her hair.
“It's your story to tell, and you get to be the one who decides when and who gets to hear it.” She takes a deep breath before looking up at me.
“When I was nine, my mom married Paul Pinkins. Let's just say he never fit the fantasies of being this big happy family, of suddenly having a dad to teach me to ride a bike or threaten boys away. From the first day, he was cruel in the worst of ways, but it wasn't until I turned eleven that he started paying extra close attention to me.”
I clench my fists and jaw, trying not to completely lose my mind at the thought of that man hurting her. Of him putting his hands anywhere near her, but I need to hear whatever she has to tell me.
“It went on and on, and no matter how many times I tried to tell my mom, it was always the same. I would get slapped for lying and locked in my room for days on end, with no water or food. I thought I would starve to death on more than one occasion. I wish I would have run sooner, but then again, I wouldn't have the life I have now if I had. I couldn't change that for the world.” She takes a deep breath before continuing.
“When I was fourteen, I found out about Lyra. The circumstances might have been the worst possible scenario when it came to that man. Still, the minute I knew I had a baby inside of me, an innocent little life, one that I knew I had to protect, everything changed. B-but then…” Her voice cracks, and I hold her tighter as her shoulders shake.
“My mom found out about the baby. She walked in while I was changing one day, and let’s just say the proof was in my baby bump. She screamed, and that was when Paul came rushing in. I remember the yelling and screaming. The hit I didn't see coming straight at my stomach. They were going to kill the baby and probably me too, if I didn't do something. I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I was only trying to get out of the house. I wanted to threaten them to get back, but they just kept coming at me. I didn't know what to do. I..”
“Shhh, shhhh, shhhhhh. It's okay, baby. I’ve got you. Forever and always, I’ve got you. You protected your baby. You gave that girl a fighting chance. You raised a sweet daughter that saved the life of an innocent little boy one day. You did good, mama, and none of that would have ever happened if those fuckers were allowed to live. You gave life, and all they ever did was take it. There is nothing for you to feel guilty or sorry about. They would have taken you and Lyra out of this world and away from me.”
She sobs into my chest for minutes on end, and I just hold her together as best as I can. I’ll be her glue from now until the end of my days. I’ll put her back together and keep her that way for the rest of her life. After a time, she finally pulls back and looks into my eyes. Hers are swollen and red, with mascara running down her face and red lipstick smeared all over her mouth. She's the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“Are you mad at me for keeping it from you?”
“I understand you had your reasons. I’m not angry, just heartbroken." Her expression falters. "But not with you, baby girl. I’m heartbroken that I didn’t make you feel like you could trust me completely—with every piece of your soul. That you couldn’t trust me enough to share one of the heaviest burdens you’ve been carrying alone. If I’d done a better job showing you how deeply I love and treasure you, maybe you would have felt safe enough to let me carry some of that pain and guilt with you."
“This isn't about you, though, Devon. It is my burden to carry. I was the one…”
“No. That's not what a partnership is. We are supposed to lean on each other. Carry those burdens together.”
“Are you going to tell me about every mission you’ve been on? Every time you had to do something despicable for your team, your men?” she asks, and I can see the pain in her eyes. She’s held this guilt with her all these years, and it's eating her up inside.
“Bunny, look at me.” When she does, I let her see the truth in my face at my next words. “There is not one ounce of guilt I feel for ridding the world of those who would harm the innocent. I never took the life of someone who didn't have it coming. I will tell you as much information as you want about my past, every detail you're willing to take, but it's not pretty, and I don't want you carrying that on your soul. However, your past is nothing you should be ashamed of. I’m damn fucking proud you fought for your life and the life of your daughter.”
“I love you so much, Devon. More than I ever thought was possible.”
“And I love you to pieces, baby girl. I’ll tell you anything and everything you ever want to know about my life, past, present, and future. All you need to do is ask.”
Never one to back down from a challenge, my Tizzy-girl's eyes light up with mirth.
“Oh yeah, lot of talk, big guy. What if I wanted to ask you about your future? Our future and if it might include a ring.”
“Well, of course it does, Bunny. I’m damned determined to make an honest woman out of you. Just don't want no trouble hanging over our heads. I want our future to be set with nothing but bright days. Plus, you deserve a proper proposal,” I say, giving her a wink. She swoons, and I can't help but puff my chest out a bit.
Someday, I will figure out exactly how to give my girl the world. Someday.