Chapter 14
M ila fought the emotions churning inside her. She’d had zero intention of telling Ghost her story. When he’d confronted her about her kidnapping, he might as well have thrown a bucket of cold water on her face.
No one knew about her circumstances.
The small crinkles at the corners of his eyes and the flash of anger in his tumultuous grays had spoken volumes. But what had struck her was his compassion. Not only was it surprising coming from him—she hadn’t experienced it from anyone in twelve years.
At times she wondered if Alexei regretted kidnapping her.
She didn’t doubt Irinia was the one who’d made the decision.
Still, he could’ve let her go. He could have done anything to show her he didn’t want to be a part of her captivity.
But every time she’d tried to talk to him about the kidnapping, he’d shut her down.
He’d carried guilt. But not enough to go against his wife.
Ghost’s searing gaze made her wet her lips. She’d let her mind wander, and if she wasn’t careful, the conversation would point back at her like a rigged game of spin the bottle. “What do you do for work now?” she blurted.
The corner of his eye twitched, suggesting he didn’t want the topic aimed at him any more than she wanted it at her. “Security work.”
She pulled her knee in close to her chest and sipped her tea. “What kind of security? Airport? Supermarket?”
A laugh burst from his lips. The sound was so abrupt and foreign, she smiled.
“Hardly,” he said, his shoulders still shaking. “Personal protection. My boss is one of my good friends, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have a job.”
She tilted her head. “Why’s that?”
“Because I don’t like people,” he shot back, his tone void of emotion.
She smiled. “That’s not surprising. Was your work for Trident in the same field?”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “Not quite. I did freelance work for Trident.” He dipped his chin. “Same line of work as you.”
She made an O with her lips. “Well, I suppose we have a lot in common.”
His face hardened. “Something like that.”
“What made you change careers?”
He exhaled through his nose. “Didn’t know I’d agreed to twenty-one questions.” Though his words weren’t sharp, his face was molded with tension.
“You don’t have to answer them.”
“If I answer your questions, will you answer mine?”
She lowered her gaze to her buttery-soft leggings. Her heart palpitated with indecision. She rolled her lips together and met his eyes once again.
No sign of impatience crossed his face. Just calm curiosity. His attention was gentle but penetrating at the same time. He was the most intense man she’d ever met.
“Your questions might be too painful to answer,” she said evenly.
He uncrossed his arms, and his thumb dragged down the outside of her shin.
His touch was barely there, but a trail of fire spread to her loins.
“Maybe I’m the perfect person to tell.” He lifted a shoulder.
“Let’s be honest. You’re probably never going to get therapy.
And if anyone shouldn’t carry the wounds of their past, it’s you. ”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why do you say that?”
His hand fell to the sofa inches from her hip. “Because you deserve to move on, Mila. To let your past go and find something better.”
“Don’t you deserve the same?”
“Nope.” He didn’t hesitate. “Go ahead. What’s your first question?”
She tapped her fingernail against her mug.
It was early afternoon. They had a lot of hours to kill.
She didn’t need to spend time with this man, but there was nothing else to do.
No one else to talk to. And as weird and dysfunctional as their situation was, she liked his presence.
His voice. Hell, she even liked his questions.
The amount of liking she had toward Ghost might be a problem.
She cleared her throat. “Why didn’t you kill me when you found me in your room?”
His head jerked back with surprise. “Because I wanted to find out who was after me.”
She pursed her lips. That was true of course, but on the floor in his bedroom she’d sensed something else. A shift. From enraged animal to... stunned protector. Or something. “I thought you were going to kill me. You seemed ready to until you realized I was a woman.”
His eyes darkened. He shifted his attention away, then slowly nodded. “All right. Yeah, if you were a man I might’ve killed you on the spot. I also might’ve done the same thing and brought you here and kept you alive until you told me what I needed to know.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “And if I were a man, you’d have showered with me and chained my wrist to yours?”
This time his laugh was loose. Relaxed. “Fuck no.”
She gasped with mock outrage, but a chuckle fell from her lips. “Okay, one point in the creepy column.”
His grin didn’t fall. “At least I let you stay in your shorts and bra. I could’ve done worse.”
Heat climbed to her cheeks. The idea of being naked in front of him teased the edges of her mind.
“I forgot to ask,” he continued. “Does your head hurt?”
She brushed her fingertips over the bandage. “Only when I touch it.”
“Good.” He grasped her foot, pulling it onto his lap. He squeezed the ball of it in his large palm. “How about here? Still have feeling left?” His thumb pressed beneath her toes and she melted.
“No, I can’t feel that,” she lied. “Must have gotten frostbite after all.”
He kneaded some more, and she let her head lean against the couch. “Oh my god,” she wheezed. “I think I’ve gone to heaven.”
He chuckled. “I take it you can feel that just fine?”
She flashed him a sly smile. “You might have to keep going just to be sure.”
“I’ll keep going if you answer one of my questions.” He moved his other hand to her foot as well. His thumbs met at the sole and she caved.
“Okay, shoot,” she said begrudgingly.
“When did you move to the US?”
That was an easy one. “Irinia sent me here when I was seventeen. I lived with her relatives for three years before I moved out.”
“Why’d she send you here?”
Mila sighed, remembering that time in her life. Alexei had died shortly after she’d arrived. She met Ghost’s gaze.
“She weaponized me,” Mila answered flatly. “By the time I was seventeen, I’d killed ten mobsters in Russia. Alexei was worried my face would be recognized.”
“So she sent you to the US?”
She nodded. “I traveled across the country, taking whatever jobs Irinia’s brother, Boris, and sister-in-law sent me on. I think that had been the plan from the beginning. Part of my schooling involved learning English.”
Ghost’s fingers massaged the top of her foot. His expression was both hard and pensive. “Do you think one of the reasons Irinia sent you away was that she worried you’d seek out your family?”
Sadness welled up in her chest, and the pressure rose to her sinuses. She curled her foot away from his touch and shook her head. Tears swam in her eyes. “No, that wasn’t it.” Her voice was haggard.
She kept her eyes down, not daring to see the sympathy that would make her cry.
“Mila.” His hand gently circled her wrist. “What else is there?”
The pressure in her sinuses became unbearable. Slowly, she brought her gaze to him, but she saw no pity. Only understanding. Which didn’t make sense. How could he possibly?
“They’re dead,” she whispered, through the emotion strangling her. “My mother, my father, and my brother all died in a car accident when I was sixteen.” Tears fell down her cheeks.
She didn’t dash them away.
Ghost tugged her wrist, pulling her across the short distance between them. She brought her head to the nook between his neck and shoulder, and his arms wrapped around her.
“I’m sorry.” His hand moved down her spine then back up. “I wish none of this had happened to you.”
She curled her fingers into his shirt. “I was so scared of Irinia. I should’ve run away again. I might’ve made it.” The memory of the older couple who’d tried to help her replayed in her mind.
“Irinia said she’d kill my family if I tried to escape again.” A sob racked her shoulders, but she needed to explain—needed to make sure he didn’t judge her for not trying harder. “If I’d known they’d have died anyway, I’d have taken the risk.”
His thumb smoothed over the back of her neck and slid beneath her hair. His hands were so strong. So large and lethal. They were hands that could kill her—but they moved with a gentleness she’d have thought he was incapable of.
“You can’t look back, Mila. I know it’s fucking hard but if you don’t keep your eyes forward, you’ll drown.”
She pressed her face to his chest, hating that he was right. The truth was, she’d thought she’d moved on a long time ago.
“It’s harder now.” She sniffed. “I don’t know why, but since you brought me here, I think about them nonstop.”
“Mmm.” The low vibration rattled against her ear. “I guess that makes sense. Part of you was ready to die.”
She lifted her head. “You think I wanted that?”
The fact that she could’ve been ready to meet her maker, to fully separate from the torture of her past, hadn’t occurred to her.
“I think it makes sense. You buried that grief for a long time so you could do what was necessary. Then your subconscious saw a way out.”
She twisted her lips. “Except for the fact that I escaped twice.”
He let out an exasperated breath. “Don’t remind me. But that’s easy to explain. Humans are wired for survival.”
“Well, I’m not so sure I want you to kill me.”
“Good. ’Cause I don’t plan on it.”
“That’s reassuring.”
He snorted. “Lucky for you I’ve apparently lost my touch.”
She shrugged. “That’s not a bad thing. I think you have a new calling. You’re pretty good at foot massages.”
He threw his head back. “Great. Assassin turned masseuse. The guys will fucking love that.” His eyes met hers and sparked with mischief. His fingers slid to the base of her spine and chills followed.
She still sat so close to him. Her side snuggled against his. “Who’re the guys?”
“My colleagues. Friends. Toth, Rami, August, Zain, Taschen, and Brick.”
She gaped. She didn’t even have one close friend—unless her handler counted, but Neo didn’t know much about her personal life. “That’s a lot.”
“Too many,” he said with a grunt. “Add in their wives and fiancées and all that noise makes me avoid the workplace.” But fondness clung to his words.
She knew so little about him. The time they had left between now and when it was safe to get on the road wouldn’t be enough to satiate her curiosity about this enigmatic man.
She knew he didn’t have a family, and certainly not a live-in girlfriend.
Details such as that would’ve been disclosed when she’d been hired.
But that didn’t mean he didn’t have someone in his life.
“What about you? Do you have a girlfriend?”
Ghost’s lip curled. “Nah. I don’t do girlfriends.”
She nodded, her stomach sinking at his admission. Who was she to judge? She’d never had a serious boyfriend. There’d been dates, a few one-night stands, but nothing that’d ever made her yearn for more. Probably because there was too much about herself that she couldn’t share.
But Ghost. He knew it all.
“I can’t exactly see you with someone,” she said.
He hooked an eyebrow. “Not anyone?”
Her mouth went dry and her pulse beat against the side of her neck. “You seem like a lone wolf.”
He nodded. “Yup. Me ’n’ Pearl are the loners in the office.”
She frowned. “Pearl?”
His fingers twitched at the small of her back. “Yeah, Pearl’s our secretary. She keeps everyone in line. Pretty sure she’s the only sane one there besides me.”
Mila smiled. “She sounds lovely.” Regret stabbed her in the heart. She and Ghost had solitude in common, but he also had a life. Friends. People around him to joke with and keep him company.
The only person she’d had like that was Alexei. They hadn’t joked much, but he’d been the closest thing to family she’d had—as screwed up as that was. He’d shown her kindness when all Irinia knew was cruelty.
“What?” he asked, his thumb moving in slow circles on her spine.
She forced a smile. “I still have so many questions.”
“Not sure what else there is to know about me. Single, don’t mingle, a decent cook.” He dipped his chin. “Ask whatever you want to know before this offer expires.”
“I didn’t realize there was a time limit.”
“Everything has a limit.”
“Okay,” she drawled. “One thing...” She reached for his thick wrist and brought his hand closer. “This tattoo.” She pointed at the paw print. “I want to know more about your dog.”
He balled his hand into a fist, just as he’d done at breakfast, and looked away. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked. She half expected him to end the conversation or walk away. He did neither. “The print is for Lady. I got it after I rehomed her.”
Mila’s heart lurched. She’d assumed the dog had passed. “Oh no, that must have been hard.”
He didn’t flinch, but there was a sharp glint in his eyes. “I had no choice. When shit went south with Trident, I needed to fly under the radar. I knew there was a chance someone would come after me—maybe a pissed-off friend or employee of Hunter’s. I didn’t want anything to happen to her.”
She smoothed her thumb over the ink. Pain ballooned in her belly. “You protected her.”
He lowered his face. “I was a fucking coward.”
“No,” she squeaked. “You did what you could to keep her safe. And yourself.”
Blowing out a breath, he shook his head. “The lies we tell ourselves,” he said sardonically. “She was a good dog. German shepherd. Smart as hell.”
His voice held longing. Sadness. Something she wouldn’t have expected of him yesterday. But today... god, seeing this side of him made her want to mend the broken pieces.
“Would you ever get another dog?”
He shrugged. “I don’t think it’d be the same. Lady was special.” He gave her a tense smile. “I feel good knowing she’s living in a house full of kids. An old friend of mine. We don’t talk anymore, but I know Lady’s loved and is protecting three little girls.”
Emotion throbbed against Mila’s ears. She rose onto her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You did the right thing.”
He hugged her back, his arms warm and strong. “There’re two things I did right in my life,” he said, next to her ear.
Inch by inch she pulled away. His eyes were dark and smoky, his stubble rough and neatly trimmed. She swept her thumb over his jawline, reveling in its grittiness.
The breadth of his chest was so firm against hers.
She wanted him.
“What’s the second?” Her question came out quiet, breathless.
He laid his palm against her cheek. “Bringing you here.”
Mila’s pulse slowed to a dull roar. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.