Lia
He’s lucky I’m in love with him, I think to myself for about the thousandth time in a row.
I’ve been kneeling naked on the forest ground for what feels like hours.
It’s definitely been at least an hour. I’ve had time to walk leisurely around, try out a number of different hiding spots, and finally, remove my dress and kneel on the ground, my fingers laced above my head in the position he prefers.
I’ve tried to think of some sob stories, but even the saddest thing to have happened to me isn’t enough to get me to cry right now. I’ve never been happier. If this continues, I won’t be able to cry at all anymore, and that’s too bad, because Logan wasn’t lying when he said my tears turned him on.
By the time I hear his footsteps approaching, my arms are numb from the way I’ve kept them above my head for such a long time. My knees are sore, and my tits ache with the memory of the slaps he gave them earlier, and the knowledge that more hard smacks are probably in my near future.
But one look at Logan, and I know something is wrong.
“What the fuck are you doing, Lia? Get up. Get dressed.”
“Uh…” Any anxiety I had at the sight of his unnaturally pale face melts under humiliated anger. “What is wrong with you? I did this for you! Asshole! You’re the one who wanted me to run out into the woods and—”
“Enough.” He claps a hand over my mouth, before reaching down, grabbing my dress and pushing it over my head, then tugging up my panties.
“Logan—”
“Where the fuck are your shoes? Put on your fucking shoes.”
I can only gape at him as he grabs my sandals before tying the buckles, as though I’m a helpless toddler.
“Logan, you’d better fucking tell me what’s going on, because I swear to god—”
My words are interrupted yet again, this time by him grabbing me and toppling me over his shoulder.
“What’s going on, Lia, is that Carmelo knows where you are. So quiet down and let me figure it out.”
“Fuck!”
I don’t say another word while he walks hurriedly out of the forest, making a beeline straight for the car. It’s only when he tosses me into the front seat, buckling me in, that I clutch his wrist. “Aurora. Where’s Aurora? We need to get Aurora.”
He pulls his arm away from me roughly and slams the car door. I beat on the window, suddenly terrified.
What is he doing? Are we leaving? Isn’t he taking Aurora?
“My daughter,” I cry out when he gets behind the steering wheel. “Logan, you can’t leave without my daughter…”
I hunch over, clutching my stomach, feeling like I’m going to pass out. I feel his hand on the back of my shoulder.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. It’s going to be okay.”
“My Aurora… we need to… where is she…?”
I’m in a fog of helplessness, my hands slick with sweat. He’s going to drive off without her… he’s going to leave her here! He doesn’t care about her at all. What an idiot I am! Of course he doesn’t!
He’s turned onto the small road that leads to the highway. Where is she? Where did Dolores take her? He’s going to leave—what can I do?
I’m in such distress I barely notice the car lurch to a stop.
Logan rushes out into the road, and I gape to see him run toward Dolores.
She stares at him in shock as he lifts up Aurora and puts her in the car seat.
Then he says a few words to Dolores that I can’t make out, and she clambers into the back seat.
“What about my clothes? My belongings?” she grumbles.
“I’ll get you whatever you need,” he answers tersely.
I stare at him mutely, then hastily dry my tears and turn toward my daughter. She’s babbling just as cheerfully as ever, launching into a monologue to tell me all about her afternoon.
All I can whisper is, “Baby,” and reach out behind me to latch onto her tiny hand.
“I promised you I’d never hurt her,” mutters Logan, pressing down on the gas pedal. “Didn’t I?”
I nod, my throat constricting when I see the pain in his eyes.
“I’m… sorry.”
He doesn’t answer, turning his full attention to the road.
It’s only when we’ve merged onto the nearest highway that I think to ask, “What now? Where are we going?”
He marks a long pause, before saying at last, “I have no fucking clue.”
_
We drive in silence for a long time, and although Logan stares straight in front of him, I can tell by the way he makes sudden hairpin turns, switching lanes, leaving the highway repeatedly to merge onto other roads, that he’s running.
I’m reminded of the way I escaped him, driving as fast as I could, taking as many different roads as possible to make my trace harder to pick up.
But I only made it one month before they found me. How much time do I have left with Logan?
The thought makes panic crawl up my chest and into my throat.
“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay.” He tears his eyes away from the road for a moment to look at me. “I won’t let him take you. You’re my captive, remember?”
I nod, trying hard not to cry.
“If he gets you, it’ll be over my dead body,” he adds through gritted teeth.
“I don’t want you to die,” I breathe.
“That’s not going to happen. That’s not going to fucking happen!”
He sounds like he’s convincing himself, though. I squeeze my hands between my legs. “What happened? How did he find us? Did the don change his mind?”
Logan doesn’t answer right away, and I sink back in my seat, succumbing to my thoughts.
It was crazy to think we could hide for very long.
I know the boss wants Carmelo to focus on Idaho and on the Tito and Stefano thing.
His son is nothing if not under his thumb—but he’s also very proud.
It was only a matter of time before that pride got the better of him.
I’ve escaped him, and he won’t rest until I pay for that.
“The don is dead,” says Logan, breaking his silence.
Oh. Fuck.
“The don is dead, and Carmelo wants you back.”
I squeeze my hands into nervous fists. “And he found out where I’m am? How?”
Logan hesitates, and my mind jumps to the only person who knew our location.
Damien.
Could he have betrayed us?
“Did… Damien tell Carmelo…?”
“No.” Logan clears his throat. “I did.”
“You… what?”
I stare at him in confusion. “How could you have done that? What the hell, Logan? Are you insane?”
“Simmer down.”
“Logan! Have you lost your mind?” I’m so angry that I feel tears bubble up in my eyes, and dash them away before Logan can see.
Too late—he does.
He glances in the rearview window. Aurora is asleep, Dolores is staring out the window in moody silence. I can tell she’s upset about having left all she owns behind.
“Unbutton your dress,” he mouths, and even though his voice can’t be heard above the engine, I have no doubt about what he’s said.
“No. You’re an asshole. You told Carmelo where we were! You’re fucking nuts!”
“Unbutton it,” he repeats, turning his eyes toward me, and I quake under his furious glare.
Swallowing nervously, I work the four buttons on the front of my dress, revealing my still reddened breasts. I know I should wear a bra, because my tits have gotten a lot fuller since I gave birth to Aurora, but I used to be flat as fuck, so I never did. And now, I can’t get used to it.
Clearly, it doesn’t bother Logan. He takes my left nipple between two fingers and… pinches.
“Ow,” I mouth just as quietly as he did, and another tear forms at the corner of my eye.
“That’s right, little crybaby,” he breathes, glancing back and forth between me and the road. “Are you gonna behave now?”
I nod hurriedly, and he lets go of my nipple. I’m about to button my dress up again, but he growls, “Leave it open.”
I roll my eyes, but do as he says. It’s a good thing the road is deserted, because my tits are really hanging out. I sink back into my seat, crossing my arms, feeling just as grumpy as Dolores does.
“Can I ask—very politely—why you gave our location to the man who wants me dead?”
He shakes his head, half in amusement, half in annoyance. “You can ask, I guess. Sure.”
“Well?”
“Didn’t say I’d answer.”
“Logan…”
“Fine.” He sighs. “I didn’t have a choice. Carmelo was holding a gun to Damien’s head.”
I bite down on my first retort—so what? I know how much Logan cares about Damien.
I care about Logan, and that means I just have to accept it.
The sadist from high school who once made me eat shit, or nearly, is also Logan’s only family.
The guy who has been taking care of him since first grade.
They’re the same age, but Logan always looked to Damien for his basic needs—for food, even.
I understand Logan’s loyalty, but I can’t help the bitterness that swells in my throat. I don’t say anything though.
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t have a plan,” he adds quickly. “I told him our location, and now, I’m getting you the hell out of there.”
“Right.” I managed to hold my tongue before, but now, I can’t help but lash out. “Not much of a plan, though, since you don’t have anywhere to go.”
Logan opens his mouth to answer, but just then, his cell phone rings. He grabs it and rests it on his knee on speaker phone.
“Yeah?”
“Alright, it’s a little place in Washington…”
I hear Everest’s smooth voice on the other end.
“Washington? As in the state? Fuck, man, you couldn’t have found something further away?”
“Take a chill pill, man.” Everest repeats his apparently favorite cringy expression. “It’s a very cute house, kind of modern, in the middle of a big forest, and there’s a waterfall—”
“I don’t care about that. Is it safe? They won’t find it?”
“Yeah. Safe house. Safe protocol. Just like we talked about. Don’t worry, man. Okay?”
“Okay.” Logan’s voice comes out throaty. “Thanks, bro. I owe you one. I owe you a big one.”
“No problem. I’ll get you the address. And Logan…”
“Yeah?”
“I really hope I don’t see you again. Not for a really long fucking time. Not until… well, you know.”
“I hope it works.” He rubs his temple, and for the first time, I notice how exhausted he is. “It better fucking work. Tell Damien I said that. I’m counting on him.
“Yeah. Alright, see ya, man.”
He hangs up, and I stare at Logan in confusion. “Everest… got you a place?”
“Mhm.”
“And you trust him?”
The look he spares me makes me regret that question. “I mean…” I swallow again, feeling more nervous than ever under his cold gaze. “I mean, do you trust him not to tell Damien?”
His gaze grows even colder. “No.”
“No?”
“I trust Damien not to ask.”
I’m not feeling all that reassured as I lean back again, turning my eyes toward the window. But I can tell continuing on that track is the wrong idea. Especially given how anxious Logan seems.
After what feels like another eternity of silence, I turn back to Logan. “What was that you were talking about… that thing you’re hoping works?”
His steely expression softens into a smirk. “You’re real curious, aren’t you? Don’t worry your little head about that, ghost girl. Now, be quiet. I don’t want to hear your voice for the rest of the car ride.”
Asshole! I sit up, crossing my arms again, huffing out an angry breath. “Logan! You can’t just—”
Then I notice the tent in his pants.
“I can’t just what?”
“You can’t just… treat me like a child…”
“Watch me. What are you going to do? Cry about it?”
“Fuck you,” I mutter.
His smirk deepens. He glances in the rearview mirror again—Aurora is still sleeping, and Dolores is turned toward the window, her eyes closed. I don’t know if she’s sleeping or just pissed off, but she’s clearly not paying attention.
“Dress up,” he breathes, so low there’s no way Dolores could hear. “Pull those panties to the side.”
“Logan!” I hiss.
“Go on.” He’s driving on a relatively straight, deserted road, and allows his eyes to rove regularly toward me. “Do it. I just want to look.”
He sounds so needy that I at last give in. I pull my panties to the side like he asks, and he stares at my folds for a moment, before forcing his attention back to the road.
I rearrange myself, feeling more frustrated than I want to admit.
It would have been pretty fucked up to do anything more than we’ve just done, and even this feels wrong.
But I’m growing just as needy as him. I want to turn off my brain and remember he owns me.
I have so much to lose now. It’s terrifying.
I’m happy, and I can’t let Carmelo take that away. I just can’t.
Why don’t I deserve happiness?
“Logan,” I ask after a few minutes, noticing that the sun is slowly sinking in the sky, “are we going to stop for the night?”
Visions of what I’m hoping he’ll do to me the moment we’re alone again dance before me.
He’s drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, looking antsy, as if he’s thinking those same thoughts. “We’re gonna keep driving all night long. You should sleep.”
I squeeze my legs together to try to alleviate some of my frustration. “How about you?”
He smiles wryly. “I’ll manage. Go to sleep, little ghost.”
“I don’t think I can. I’m too nervous.”
“Just close your eyes, baby.”
Sighing, I lean back, trying to get into a comfortable position. I know I would be far more comfortable leaning against the window, but I hate putting that distance between us, even though I know it’s ridiculous. Instead, I tilt my head toward Logan.
I nearly moan when I suddenly feel his hand on my breasts again. Only this time, he doesn’t seem to have any intention of pinching my nipples. Instead, he starts to stroke them, tweaking them gently, massaging my sore breasts.
It feels really good.
I’m lulled into a state of relaxation, and before I know it, I’m sinking into a deep sleep.