27. Bea
27
Bea
After such a heavy day, I can’t even think about getting up. Charlie and I lay on the bed, just holding each other.
Charlie’s the most driven person I know, and hearing his biggest fears—some of which have come to pass today—makes my heart ache for him.
I knew his summer with his grandmother had been rough. I’d heard it in his voice every time we talked on the phone. First, there was anger at his parents for sending him away for the summer, and then there was anger at his grandmother and a general anger at the world. He had come back different. I’d taken it to be that he was ready for his independence, to graduate and go to college and make his own life decisions.
Charlie sweeps a hand over my hair and presses his lips to my forehead. I’m glad he’s back, but I still have questions.
“What’s the plan now?” I ask, my heart fluttering in my chest. I can understand Charlie’s actions, but where does that leave us? What does his future look like?
Charlie takes his lips off my skin and the point of his chin rests on my head. “Arlo and I have a few ideas that we haven’t explored yet. He reminded me on my drive back—repeatedly—that selling to ImmUniverse was a strategic sale. They wanted my business and my product. There are potential buyers or investors who would look at the sale from a financial perspective. The right buyer would do a better job of growing the company than I would. There are people who do that for a living—take a small-to-midsized business and buy it from the founder and scale it up to another sale or an IPO. And we haven’t even discussed a sale with my staff and doing something like a management buyout, though I think that’s less likely.”
Nash had asked me a lot of questions about Charlie and Rivrse, many of which I couldn’t answer. He wants to talk about it again after the holidays, but I don’t really know to what end. It’s probably not worth bringing up to Charlie right now.
“But,” Charlie continues, “ultimately, what it comes down to is that I still have a huge commitment to my company. I work a lot. And it’s stressful and hard and there are times when it’s debilitating. But I want to get out of it. Maybe someday I’ll start a new project, but I’ve learned a lot from this one, and I can make a better exit strategy from the beginning. I also have savings, and I want to start a family someday. It’s not the security I wanted, but”—Charlie rolls us slightly so he’s leaning over me, my shoulder brushing the wall—“I’m realizing that doesn’t matter as much as I thought it did.”
“No, it doesn’t,” I agree.
And then Charlie kisses me. It’s slow and careful; loving. Just when I put my fists in his shirt to pull him over me and deepen it, my phone buzzes. It’s extra loud because my phone has gotten wedged between the wall and the bunk bed, and Charlie lifts off me so I can rescue it.
There’s a text from Naomi.
Naomi
Um, are you guys done up there? We still need to do the family pictures.
“Well, as much as daydreaming about the future is fun, this Christmas is not over yet.” I show him the text. “It’s time to put on your pajamas again.”
We do the family pictures, including one of me and Charlie together. Charlie and I serve as judges for the snowman-building contest, which kept our families occupied while Charlie and I sorted ourselves out. Jasper’s snowman is peeing into the woods, while Naomi’s snowman wears her stethoscope (which she inexplicably packed for vacation). Susan’s snowman is wearing a cape of some kind, and she tells us it’s an effigy to Skadi, the Norse goddess of winter. Mom and Dad made a pair of snowmen holding hands, which Charlie and I, motivated by our reunion, chose as the winner.
Jasper roasts a turkey for dinner. Afterward we hang out in the living room, my pregnant sister on her back, head in Jasper’s lap, while he has a protective hand on her belly. I think she’s fallen asleep. Charlie and his parents disappear at some point and must have a long, wearing conversation, because he comes back tired and needing cuddles.
When we go back upstairs, I grab my things from the room I shared with Naomi and “move” into Charlie’s room. Charlie is brushing his teeth while I check my phone.
There’s a picture from Brin—she and Marco are, again, posing in front of a giant pile of presents. The background is unfamiliar, but there’s a message from her too.
Brin
You won’t believe the week we’ve been having. We’ll tell you all about it when you get home.
Merry Christmas and we miss you!
XOXO
Brin and Marco
PS: I may have gotten too much into the holiday spirit and kissed Marco. Argh! What was I thinking?
Bea
Merry Christmas to y’all too. Enjoy your days off and I’ll see you soon.
PS. Wait. Am I supposed to be surprised that you kissed him, or surprised that you haven’t been secretly banging this whole time?
The door opens and Charlie comes in, hair damp from the shower and breath minty-fresh, and strips before crawling into bed with me.
“Who are you texting?”
“My roommate Brin.”
“The woman I met?”
I grimace. “I don’t think I actually introduced you.”
He chuckles and pulls me closer to him. “I’ll make a better second impression. I can’t wait to meet your friends.”
“They’re—”
I cut myself off. Why was I about to deny being friends with them? Unexpectedly, tears form in my eyes. Brin’s so sweet, and maybe I’ve been doing them a disservice. Instead of being worried about being a messy roommate, maybe I should worry about being a better friend to them.
Nash’s words echo in my head too.
Friends .
I turn my face to Charlie. “Who are your friends?”
He props his head up on his hand. “I have a few friends from college who are in New York now. I’ve seen them a couple of times since I’ve opened the office. And there’s Arlo, who’s probably one of my best friends. And mentor, and investor, and sometime—more frequently than I’d like—therapist. And one of my sales managers moved from the Bay Area to head the team in New York. You’d like her.” He laughs. “There’s also a programmer who used to work for me who recently reached out and we grabbed a coffee.”
“They used to work for you? And you’re still friends?”
He sighs. “I’ve made a lot of employment mistakes in the past. Most of them don’t end well, and it’s hard for either side not to take it personally. Arlo says I have to make the best decisions for Rivrse and see how things fall. Most of them don’t resurface, but this one did. She’s wildly talented and clever, but she wasn’t a great fit. So, yeah, I’d call her a friend.”
“Hmm. How would you feel about moving out of the city?” I’m not even sure I want to anymore. I definitely think Here is too small for me, but I want to leave my options open.
He doesn’t hesitate. “Amazing. After I leave Rivrse,” he amends.
I look up and pretend to give it a good, hard think. “After you leave Rivrse. And kids?” I think I know how he feels about this from conversations back when we were teenagers. But I’m finding that there’s a lot about Charlie that’s changed.
He kisses my lips again before agreeing. “Lots of kids. How would you feel about me buying my parents a house?”
I snort. “How do they feel about it?”
Charlie breaks into a smile. “I’m working on it.”
I laugh and he cuts it off with a kiss. This one’s deeper, surer. And full of hope. So full it swells inside me and breaks through. “I love you too,” I whisper against his lips when he lets me breathe.
This small town might have brought me exactly what I needed—and shown me what I already have.