Chapter 4 - Marco
It had been a long, anxious day of classes. My mind refused to settle, replaying the cafeteria incident on an endless loop. Rei had stood up to Dimitri, and worry gnawed at me constantly.
Dimitri wasn’t Alexei, but he was still terrifying and viciously proud.
I didn’t know if I could even help if things escalated.
Useless as I was, that didn’t matter. I wanted to stay glued to Rei’s side all day, like a pathetic shadow that needed protecting instead of the other way around.
The thought made my stomach twist with familiar self-loathing.
Rei deserved better than a friend who dragged danger into his life just by existing. He was the only thing that made Bloodburn bearable, and I repaid him by being the weak little magnet for monsters.
Unfortunately, today our schedules didn’t line up.
Different classes meant I had to endure the last lecture alone, fidgeting in my seat as I chewed on the end of my pen until the plastic cracked.
The professor’s voice droned on about some ancient treaty I couldn’t care less about.
Every few seconds my eyes flicked to the clock.
A new notebook sat open in front of me, but the pages were mostly filled with frantic sketches instead of notes. I kept doodling Alexei’s face without meaning to.
The memory of his thumb pressing over my pulse made my stomach twist in a way I didn’t understand.
Fear, but something else too. Something shameful that made my cheeks burn and my thighs press together under the desk.
I hated it. I hated myself for it. What kind of broken person felt anything but pure terror when the devil touched them?
When the bell finally rang, I was a bit late packing up because my fingers wouldn’t stop trembling.
I shoved my things into my bag and hurried out into the hallway, my heart already picking up speed.
I just wanted to find Rei. He was probably waiting at the outside entrance like usual, probably with a strawberry candy already in his pocket for me.
The thought alone helped me breathe a little easier, even though I knew I didn’t deserve his kindness.
I was a burden. One day he would see it and leave.
I was speed-walking past the rows of lockers, head down, when a familiar bubbly voice called out behind me.
“Marco! Hey, wait up!”
I turned and there she was. Sasha. Jogging the last few steps to catch me.
Her light brown hair was pulled into a messy half-ponytail with little daisy clips, and she was wearing that oversized pastel sweater she always stole from her older sister.
She looked genuinely happy to see me, cheeks pink from the quick jog.
She stopped in front of me, a little out of breath, and giggled.
“You walk so fast when you are in a hurry! I almost missed you. How was the last lecture? Professor Hale was on another planet today, right? I swear he spent twenty minutes talking about one single date in 1427. I started counting the ceiling tiles.”
I couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at my lips. “It was… long. I didn’t really pay attention. My notes are probably useless.”
Sasha waved a hand and giggled again. “Useless? Please. You are the one who carried our whole project last month. Remember?”
My cheeks warmed. I clutched my notebook tighter against my chest. “You helped a lot too.”
She leaned in a little, her voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper even though the hallway was mostly empty now.
“Working with you was the best part of that whole assignment.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a little pack of gummies, offering them with another giggle.
They were lemon-flavored and I didn’t like lemons at all, but I’d be rude not to take them.
“I saved these for you. Figured you might need a sugar boost after that snooze-fest of a class.”
I took them carefully, my fingers brushing hers for a second. “Thanks, Sasha. That is really sweet of you.”
She beamed, rocking on her heels. “Of course! You are my favorite project partner. And friend. Even if your other favorite friend gives me the evil eye every time he sees us talking.” She said it lightly, but I could hear the tiny bit of nervousness underneath. We both knew exactly who she meant.
Internally, I felt a small pang. Rei would probably be glaring right now if he saw us.
I had told him once that if Sasha ever pissed him off too much, I could just stop being friends with her, because he was my priority.
He had just shrugged and said it was okay, that I could hang out with whoever I wanted.
He just didn’t like her vibe. I understood.
So we only really hung out when he wasn’t around.
It was easier that way. I didn’t want to cause problems between us.
“Yeah… he is protective.”
“Well, he is lucky to have someone as sweet as you to protect.”
We kept walking slowly together down the hallway while she chattered.
I laughed and shook my head. “Can we talk later? I just need to find Rei. He is probably waiting at the entrance already. I don’t want to make him worry.”
Sasha nodded, understanding completely. “Sure, no worries! Go!”
I watched her bounce off down the hallway, humming something cheerful under her breath, before I turned and kept walking toward the outside entrance.
I pushed through the big double doors and spotted Rei standing near the stone steps. My stomach dropped all over again.
He was there.
And he wasn’t alone.
Rei was getting into Dimitri’s car.
No. No, no, no. I wanted to run and drag my best friend back to safety. He couldn’t go with Dimitri.
I took one step forward. A hand suddenly grabbed the back of my black ribbon, yanking me backward.
“Ah!” I gasped and twisted in panic.
And there he was.
The devil.
“Where are you running?” Alexei asked.
“I… I… I—” I was stuttering, the words fracturing before they could form.
Alexei seemed amused. He finally released my ribbon, but it sat lopsided now, crooked and wrong. I reached up instinctively to fix it, fingers trembling, but froze when he reached into his jacket instead. I really expected him to pull a gun on me or something.
But he pulled out a notebook. My notebook. The same one I had dropped when I bumped into him that day in the hallway. The one filled with sketches, half-finished poems… and yes, drawings of him. Too many drawings of him. I hadn’t even realized it was missing until now.
“You lost something,” Alexei said, holding it toward me. “I thought I would return it.”
I snatched it back immediately, hugging the notebook tight to my chest. “Th-thanks,” I mumbled. Please, please don’t let him have looked inside. Please -
Alexei leaned down. I shrank back on instinct, pressing harder against the wall behind me.
“Your drawings of me are fascinating, my little star,” he whispered. The nickname landed like a brand. “I am honored to be your muse.”
I couldn’t speak. My throat had closed completely.
Alexei straightened up. He reached out and fixed my ribbon, brushing a stray curl behind my ear in the process. Then he turned and walked away without another word, disappearing back into the building like he had never been there.
I stood frozen for several long seconds, notebook clutched to my chest, ribbon slightly straighter now but still feeling wrong. Then my legs finally moved and I ran.
When I got home, I burst through the front door of our small house.
My mom called out a cheerful greeting from the kitchen.
“Marco, tesoro! Come eat!” But I mumbled something incoherent about homework and fled straight to my room before she could see my face.
I couldn’t let her see how close I was to breaking.
I slammed the door behind me and collapsed onto the edge of my bed, pulling out my phone with shaking hands. Rei. I had to reach Rei. He still hadn’t answered any of my texts from the bus ride home.
Marco: Rei where are you??
Marco: please answer me
Marco: Rei??
Marco: I’m freaking out please call me back
I hit call immediately after, pressing the phone to my ear as it rang…
and rang… and rang. Straight to voicemail.
Again. I tried three more times, each unanswered ring tightening the knot in my stomach until I felt like I might throw up.
What if Dimitri had done something to him?
What if Alexei had told his cousin to hurt Rei because of me?
It would be my fault. Everything was always my fault.
I curled up smaller on my bed, knees drawn to my chest. Trying to distract myself from the spiraling worry about Rei, my mind betrayed me and drifted to the other nightmare of the day.
Alexei. God, I hoped he hadn’t read the poems. He was probably too focused on the sketches to care about words.
Maybe he was dumb when it came to literature.
Maybe he didn’t bother. Please, please let that be true.
My eyes fell on the notebook lying innocently on my desk. The one he had returned. I reached for it.
I opened it slowly.
Blood.
Red smears across the pencil strokes, my monstrous depictions of Alexei from that rooftop night. I had drawn him like a monster, artistic in the most sickening way. But now those pages were tainted with real blood. As if he had taken my nightmare and made it wet and real.
A soundless scream tore from my throat. I threw the notebook across the room with all the strength my body could muster. My hands flew up to cover my mouth as I scrambled backward on the bed until my back hit the wall.
“Oh god… oh god…” I whimpered, rocking slightly, burying my head between my knees. He had touched it. He had bled on it. On purpose.