1. The Mateless #2
Shit. I haven’t gotten dressed yet. Vaulting from my bed, I scramble into the closet to rip my little black dress from its hanger. It’s simple, with thin straps and a hem that ends just above my knees.
I throw it over my shoulder and push my pants off my hips.
Fuck. I forgot to shave.
It doesn’t matter; I will just wear my thigh-high black boots, and no one will know.
Except Alexander.
I shrug off the thought, deciding I don’t care what he thinks either. Not really. I quickly shed the rest of my clothes and pull the dress over my head and down my body. I grab my boots next and head to my en-suite to work whatever magic I have time for.
It isn’t much. I’ve barely done a thing when I hear a knock at the front door and put the hairbrush down on the counter before leaning in to inspect my reflection.
There isn’t time to do anything other than pull my hair back into a ponytail.
The ends sit just above my shoulders, making for a short tail.
A sleek updo could look refined if I had long hair like Cathy.
But I don’t, and this is all I have time for.
The heels of my boots click across the floor on my path to the front door and I open it a few inches.
Alexander is wearing a black button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled partway up his arms, and a pair of jeans. He took the time to shave, leaving short, dark stubble on his chiseled jaw. His dark eyes take me in, roaming my body before landing on my face. He frowns.
“Are you sure you want to go out tonight? You look exhausted.”
Relief floods me, and I lean away from the door, metaphorically hearing my bed call my name. “Sorry,” I breathe, doing my best to sound apologetic. “Work has been draining.”
“I know what you mean. This is the first night I’ve been back in Arkadia without a red-eye flight scheduled,” Alexander says, forcing guilt to tear through my fantasy of curling back into bed alone.
Alexander is a pilot, which makes for exciting dates as he tells me about the far-off places he’s visited. The downside is his demanding schedule. When he calls, it’s because he’s in town. Something that only happens when the flight schedule allows.
“We could stay in and watch a movie?” Alexander’s eyes move in a way that suggests he means my house.
“Nope,” I say simply. “We don’t get much time together. I can handle being a little tired.”
Alexander will have to fly out soon, anyway. This is my only chance for sex for a while.
I step fully onto the small porch, shutting the door and locking it behind me. My cruiser sits in the driveway, and Alexander’s silver city rental is behind it. It’s the latest model, self-driving, and electric. All the cars are electric, except for police cruisers.
That way, a grid failure won’t keep us from protecting and serving the rest of society.
I just like the way the Hellcat purrs beneath my feet. And I can make it roar with the press of the pedal. It was one reason I became a police officer.
We get all the cool toys.
Alexander leads me to his sleek, modern car and presses a button to open my door. As soon as I climb in, he presses the button again to shut me inside. The interior looks like an airplane, and I figure that is what Alexander loves most about it.
He drives into the city, staying in the parts unofficially dedicated to the mateless.
We stick with our own, and the mated do the same.
He brings us to a familiar club, executing the night according to the script.
If he had picked me up earlier, we would have gone to dinner and the movies. Followed by a romp in his hotel room.
Perfectly predictable.
Tonight is a club adventure, and I allow Alexander to lead me inside the dark room, pulsing with neon. The thick air settles onto my skin like a blanket, holding me like my parents should have. It makes me feel safe, and the pounding of the bass instructs my heart on how to do its job.
I take a seat at one of the high-top tables and Alexander gives me a knowing look. “The usual?”
I nod and smile, and he returns with a vodka cranberry like I want.
Cathy can call it settling, and maybe I am. But I love that I don’t need to tell Alexander what I want to drink or how I want to be fucked. It had taken him a few tries before he had gotten either right, and I’m not in a hurry to train someone else.
When I said rough, I meant rough. It was the only way I could feel anymore.
Alexander tells me about the latest drama with his work and the destinations he has flown to in the past two weeks. There isn’t much for me to tell him, considering there aren’t any new leads on the last homicide.
I sip on my drink while we talk, relaxing with each minute.
Alexander knows when to ask me to dance, and I eagerly pull him into the middle of the floor.
The crowd consists of only the mateless, and we pack in tightly.
Alexander’s chest presses against mine, and his arms wrap around my waist as we move in time to the music.
Another body pushes against my back, making me ass-to-ass with the stranger.
I melt into Alexander’s embrace, allowing the music and surrounding bodies to guide my movements. It feels incredible to be touched.
Alexander’s hands wander, sliding over my body purposefully, intimately. I press against him and notice the hardening bulge of his cock. I’ve awakened the beast, another critical point in favor of keeping Alexander around.
He just needs to learn how to mix things up a little more.
I reach up, grab his ink-black hair, and crush our lips together. His tongue is hot as it caresses mine, but he knows how to make my toes curl with a few nimble twists. I melt into him, clinging on with desperation.
It would be enough if this is all I had for the rest of my life.
I rip away, breathless and buzzing. Looking up at Alexander, I see hunger in his eyes. He doesn’t resist when I cup his dick through his pants or grab his hand to pull him through the throng of writhing patrons.
I lead us to the bathroom, pushing the door open and checking to ensure it’s empty.
Alexander comes to stand inside the room, confused.
Realization dawns on him a moment later as his cock catches up to my line of thinking.
I turn the lock on the door with a decisive twist and then lead him, by the shoulders, to the sink.
As soon as he is in place, I drop to my knees and start for his zipper.
His massive cock is rock hard, the veins pulsing as I pull it free. The skin is velvet soft, and I lean in with my tongue, running it up the underside of his shaft to the tip. I circle the head a few times before sucking it into my mouth.
“Fuck, Kira. I’ve missed you,” Alexander hisses, his hand grabbing the back of my head.
Prickles run through me, a warm current racing between my thighs. Pressure builds, and I squeeze my thighs together, my knees grinding into the sticky tile.
Alexander pulls me closer, shoving more of his length into my mouth until he hits the back of my throat with a groan.
“Such a good fucking girl.”
My body shutters, and I relax to fit more of him inside.
A light catches my attention out of the corner of my eye, and I pull back.
My hand wraps around his cock, pumping idly as I take a better look.
Alexander’s watch sits on the inside of his wrist, the face illuminated.
A text message is visible on the screen.
I grab his arm, pulling it closer. That better not say what I think it says.
“What the fuck, Kira?” Alexander tries to struggle, but I squeeze his cock in warning.
Miss you and that giant dick
“Fuck no.” I drop Alexander’s cock and arm before getting to my feet. My heart hammers in my chest while the world feels like a runaway merry-go-round.
The reflected faces in the mirror blur, and Alexander checks his watch. He looks back at me with round, wide eyes. The look of someone caught. I’ve seen it plenty enough at work.
“Fuck you.” I bark as the world comes back into precise, sharp detail. I storm to the door, then fumble with the lock. A sense of urgency fills me to get away before he can tell me exactly why I wasn’t enough.
“She’s in a different country, Kira,” Alexander tries, but I don’t stick around to hear anymore once I swing the door wide.
Storming up to the bar, I put several shots of vodka on Alexander’s tab before asking the bartender to call me a ride. I down the drinks, one after the next, needing the reminder that I am cursed.
The mateless are cursed.
The world is spinning again when I go outside the club and stand at the curb to wait for the self-driving car to pick me up. I half expect Alexander to follow me outside, but he doesn’t.
Guess he remembered I could wipe the floor with him if I lost my temper. He’s lucky I am still in a state of semi-shock, and the anger hasn’t fully sunk in yet. I can feel it simmering inside me, ready to boil over.
That’s where the vodka comes in.
I get into the cab and punch in my address before slumping into the seat.
The world sits on a shifted axis, and all my mind wants to focus on is reliving every second of what happened.
By the time the cab pulls over in front of my house, my hands are shaking so badly that I struggle to get the key into the lock.
I’m always going to be alone.
The tears threatening to spill from my lower lashes burn worse than the vodka as I take a swig from the bottle once I enter my room.
My head swims, and I stumble to my bed. The green duvet greets me with a kiss, and something hard hits me on the head.
Sitting up, I look around and notice the cuff of my kit that I had forgotten to put away earlier.
I wrap it around my wrist and hiss when the needle plunges into my skin. My head swims again, this time caused by the sensation of my blood being pulled from my arm and down the thin tube. The blanket hides the pen, but I pull it to me by the tether.
I look down at my thigh and the vast area of skin. I need the room for what I’m about to write.
Don’t fucking worry about the competition. Fucker was an asshole. I got to find out about his other girlfriend while kneeling on the bathroom floor with his dick halfway down my throat. Guess that says plenty about me as well.
I watch the words sink into my skin, erasing my diary pages clean. But I’m not finished. Not yet. I touch the pen’s tip to my forearm, having one last statement to add.
After that, I’m done.
Forever.
You’re better off dead than stuck with me.
The tears fall as the last letters sink into my skin. My body shakes with every desperate grab for air, but the saline of sadness chokes me. My mind decides now is the time to remind me of every instance I wasn’t enough.
By the time sleep comes, I welcome the numbing abyss.