Chapter 41
Chapter Forty-One
RONAN
The kitchen faucet comes off with a groan of protest. The chrome is worn dull, the washers deteriorated, but it was functional enough to get by. Just not good enough to keep.
The parallels to my life are not lost on me.
The new one sits in its box on the counter, waiting to replace it.
I brace a knee against the cabinet, wrench in hand, working the corroded supply lines free. The metal fights me, decades of mineral deposits locking everything in place. My still-sore fingers protest with each twist.
The house is too quiet, it makes my thoughts louder, amplifying every doubt and bad decision until they drown out everything else. I’ve been working since dawn, moving from room to room, finding tasks that keep me focused, so I don’t have to think about the past forty-eight hours.
I have my head under the sink, shoulders wedged into the narrow space, when someone pounds on the front door.
I don’t move. If it was Tom, he’d already be inside, probably carrying coffee and asking what needs fixing today. But the knock is wrong for him. It’s aggressive and insistent. With any luck, if I continue to ignore them, they’ll take the hint and leave.
But the pounding doesn’t stop.
“I know you’re in there, Oliver!”
I freeze, wrench halfway through loosening a joint.
It’s Cassidy.
“Don’t make me stand out here yelling. Your neighbors already think you’re trouble. Do you want to give them more to gossip about?”
I ease out from beneath the sink, and glance up at the ceiling, wondering if I pray, some random god will strike her down.
But no gods are listening, and Cassidy is still trying to beat my door down.
Lily’s best friend has always been good at figuring out what buttons to push to get a response from people, and if I don’t acknowledge she’s here, she’ll just get louder.
I set the wrench down, wipe my hands on my jeans, and head for the door.
She’s waiting on the porch, arms crossed, eyes blazing. The same look she used to get right before destroying someone with that sharp tongue of hers. “Took you long enough.”
“Kinda busy.”
She shoulders past me, and into the hall. “Yeah? Well, I’m about to make your day busier.”
I close the door and turn to face her. “What do you want, Cassidy?”
“I want to talk about the fact that Lily just got put on administrative leave from work because of you.”
I keep my expression blank. “That’s not my problem.”
“Really?” She steps closer, tone turning sharp as cut glass. “Because from where I’m standing, everything that’s happened to her in the past week is your problem. The gossip about Friday night. The assault on Saturday morning. And now this?”
I walk past her, needing distance, and head back to the kitchen. “If you’re done—”
“They’re threatening her job, Ronan. Beverly Walsh is pushing for a formal review. Parents are questioning whether she should be teaching their kids. All because she got caught up in your mess. Again!”
I crouch in front of the sink, reaching for the wrench. My fingers close around it. “I didn’t ask her to get involved.”
“No.” Cassidy’s laugh is bitter. “You just kissed her against a wall where half the town could see, then pushed her away. You let her take a punch meant for you. And now you’re standing there acting like she doesn’t fucking matter.”
My jaw locks. “She doesn’t.”
“Bullshit!” She moves around until she’s in my line of sight again. “Seven years ago, I watched her fall apart because of you. I held her while she cried herself sick. I listened to her blame herself for not being here for you. For not being able to help you.”
Guilt crawls through my veins. I squash it down. “I never asked her to do any of it.”
“No. You just took it. Like you took everything else she offered, then threw her away when you were done with her.” She folds her arms and glares at me. “Sound familiar?”
“Get out.”
“Or what?” Her chin lifts. “You’ll find a way to ruin my life too? That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? Someone tries to help and shows you they care, and you run.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know everything, Ronan! She’s my fucking best friend. Who the hell do you think she turns to every time you break her fucking heart?”
I slam the wrench down. “She’ll get over it.”
“Like she did seven years ago?” She laughs again, the sound scraping against my nerves. “Hate to be the one to break it to you, Ronan. She never fucking did get over you.”
I surge to my feet and into her space. The move surprises her, and she stumbles back a step, eyes widening slightly.
“What the fuck do you want from me?”
“I want you to stop being a coward.” She recovers quickly, meeting my glare head-on. “Either tell her you don’t care about her, and mean it. Or stop pretending that you don’t. Because this push-pull thing you’re doing is destroying her.”
“She’s better off without me. What she's done with her life without me in it has proved that.”
“But that’s not your choice to make. She’s a grown woman who can decide for herself what she wants. Stop trying to protect her by hurting her.”
The truth of her words twist like a knife, but I refuse to let her see that. “Are we done?”
She studies me for a long moment, then her lips curl. “Do you know what’s different this time around?”
I don’t answer. It doesn’t stop her.
“She’s not a kid anymore. This isn’t first love all over again.
She has a career she loves. Kids who adore her.
A life that doesn’t include having her best friend lie about where she is so she can sneak out to abandoned buildings to spend time with someone who used her feelings for what he could get. ”
“Get the fuck out of my house.”
“Make me. Or better yet, prove me wrong. Tell me you don’t care that she’s hurting, or that she might lose her job. Tell me you don’t—”
“Of course I fucking care!” The shout rips out of me. “Do you think I wanted any of this? Do you really think I wanted to come back here, dealing with the same assholes, and watch her slowly fall apart because of me?”
“Then stop fucking hurting her.” Cassidy doesn’t miss a beat. “The whole town is talking about what happened between the two of you. And now she’s facing the school board who are looking for any excuse to fire her.”
“I didn’t ask for any of this.”
“Then why did you come back? Why are you here?” Her voice drops, becoming quieter, but no less cutting.
“You could have just stayed away from her, but you didn’t.
And now you’re not doing anything to stop what’s happening.
You’re just letting her deal with the fallout, while you hide in here, pretending none of it matters. ”
I turn away, staring at the broken faucet on the counter.
“You can keep pretending you don’t care. You can keep pushing her away. But ask yourself this, while you’re in here avoiding the world … How many times are you going to make her pay the price for loving you?”
The question hangs in the air between us. I don’t turn around. After a moment, her footsteps move away.
“Fix this, Ronan,” she says as the door swings open. “Or stay away from her for good. But stop fucking breaking her heart.”
The door closes behind her with a click that sounds like a prison cell locking shut.
I let out a breath, trying to ease the pressure in my chest. It doesn’t help. The damage has already been done, and it’s digging its way through my body. A truth I can’t outrun, no matter how much I pretend otherwise.
I rest both hands against the counter, head bowed, staring at the sink that still needs fixing.
And it reminds me that some things, once broken, never work the same again.
I know that better than anyone.
How many times are you going to make her pay the price for loving you?
I press the heels of my hands against my eyes.
Lily could be losing her job. Because of me.
The town is turning against her. Because of me.
Her life is falling apart. Because of me.
Because I came back.
That’s the part I can’t escape. I could have stayed away, refused to come to town and find out what Edwards’ lawyer wanted. I could have moved on to another town. But I didn’t. I came back here, knowing she was here.
And now she’s paying the price of my presence.
Again.