Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Kennedy
Alden and I sat on the cushioned bench on his porch sipping coffee and talking about life until well past noon. Well, he mostly talked and I made non-committal noises in response.
“You’re cleverly avoiding my questions,” Alden stated.
“I am not.”
“I know your tricks, sweetheart. Instead of having overly complicated lists or dozens of rules, we’ll simplify.”
He looked at me, waiting for me to acknowledge the topic at hand, but I was overwhelmed.
“How about no rules? Then we don’t need to delve into the topic at all!” I giggled but it was short-lived when he tipped me across his thighs.
“Perspective change,” he said sternly.
“Hey! You said I need rest.”
“Damn it.” Alden kneaded his fingers into either side of my ass. He righted me and pulled me against him.
“I get it! Okay? I’m poking you.” Watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat as he stroked my hair gave me something to fixate on.
“Yes, you are.” He blew out a long breath.
We sat in silence, but it wasn’t awkward. I let myself relax as I inhaled the woodsy aroma of cedar burning somewhere in the distance mixed with Alden’s cologne.
“One rule, Kennedy. Do what I tell you to do. Can you manage that, sweetheart?”
“But you’ll tell me to go to bed at certain hours or not to drink too much or not–”
“I don’t want to interrupt, but you’re overthinking before we’ve even embarked into a dynamic.”
Staring into the deep-blue pools of his irises, I nodded. One rule. I could handle one rule.
“Yeah, of course I’m overthinking. I’m used to the way some of our friends like Jesse, Logan and Luke handle their partners. I’m envious of the dynamic, but not sure if I want that.”
“Jesse and Luke are more strict while Logan has different tactics. But they are all Daddies.”
I knew that. I also knew Alden was a Daddy. His rough exterior softened around the edges for those closest to him without losing the overall sternness of his personality. It had been a while since he was in a relationship per our endless conversations.
“Do you really think I need a Daddy?”
“I think there are many people who could benefit from a dominant partner, whether or not they want to admit it.”
“That’s a silly statement.”
“Think about it, sweetheart. Having someone who cares for your well-being and takes it seriously is a beautiful thing. Someone who will be your biggest supporter while also ensuring you don’t burn yourself out.”
“You’re not wrong.”
“Back to your concerns.”
I kissed him. It was nothing but a distraction tactic. My action landed me across his thighs again. “Oof!”
“I’m not going to spank you, but maybe having you in this position will help get you in the right headspace. Are you ready to have this conversation or not?”
I lay there over his lap while my mind spun through endless possibilities. Alden rubbed my head, along my spine and cupped either side of my ass. Gathering resolve and begging my brain to quit its spiraling, I finally nodded.
“I’m ready to talk. The truth is that I kissed you because I miss the way you taste.”
One hard slap landed on the lower curve of my butt.
I hissed. “And I may have been stalling.”
“Good girl,” he almost cooed.
I laid there not speaking, just enjoying being held close to him. Besides, if I opened my mouth, sass was likely to spout. It’s not like my mouth had a mind of its own, but I would claim it did.
“Got your ears on, Trixy?”
“Copy, Trailblazer.” He was cute using my call handle, and I retorted with his. Mine was created from my love of trick-riding while Alden used his ring name. Almost all of our friends communicated via CB radio instead of cell phones in our cars or while riding horses. Asking if someone had ‘their ears on’ was a way to see if they were dialed in and listening. The warm familiarity broke through any remaining tension.
“Your concerns are valid,” he said once he captured my attention.
“I’m overthinking.”
“A dynamic can be daunting but I’m not going to push against your boundaries all the time.”
“So, you’ll push sometimes?”
“Sometimes, but you’ll push against mine too. It’s the battle of wits that keeps us both interested, darlin’.”
“Maybe I should get a tattoo that says, ‘You’re right’.”
Alden laughed, a deep, rich sound that showed he was genuinely amused. “Right here.” He tapped my right ass cheek. “Then I can see it all the time.”
“Please continue the explanation. I’m listening.”
“If you tell me that you’ve been falling asleep outside of your bedroom several days in a row, then one response might be a specific bedtime. If I’m collecting you from The Kicking Donkey wasted at midnight? The next day we’d have a long talk that included a curfew or maybe a limitation on the number of drinks.”
Realization dawned on me. I don’t know why the hell my friends complained so often about their rules and guidelines and such. Having someone else craft structure seemed like a dream to me. “You’re tempering the rules and the experience to guide me with things that I’m actively struggling with.”
“That’s correct. I expect you to listen, but if I tell you to do something that hits a limit of yours? Then you can respectfully explain that to me. I’m not a brute.”
Alden slowly returned me to sit on his lap, cupping my face in between his hands. He rubbed his thumbs along my jawline.
“I’m still nervous and a bit apprehensive about giving you that type of control. However, I’ve wanted a relationship with you for a long time.”
“I’m not always the greatest boyfriend. I work long hours on my ranch. According to Wyatt, I don’t know how to have fun.”
“He’s been poking you hard, huh?”
Alden kissed my lips once. “Yeah, but I’m responding now. To both of you.”
Thunder cracked over our heads. Rain followed and it looked like it would be storming for a while. When the lightning grew brighter we stood up. It felt surreal to be with Alden after all this time. He pressed his lips to mine again, kissing me passionately. I moaned into his mouth, my hands threading through his hair, pulling him closer. Alden pulled me into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist.
“Please carry me to your bed? You could inspect my bruises again if you need an excuse to take my clothes off.”
“I think you want more than an inspection, darlin’.”
Alden kept an arm under my ass as he walked us inside. He honored my request, not setting me down until we reached his bed.
“Fuck me. I don’t want to beg, but I will if you tell me to.”
“I won’t make you beg today.”
He took my boots and socks off slowly, deliberately, like he was unwrapping and savoring each tiny moment. My leggings and sweatshirt followed while I fought the urge to hurry the party along. I hadn’t bothered with a bra this morning. Alden stopped when I was wearing nothing but my cheeky purple panties. Running his calloused fingers along my body, he took the time to kiss each and every bruise he found. His lips moved from my ankle, along each leg up to my thigh and waist. We were not new to each other in the bedroom, but our connection felt more intense tonight.
Abandoning the lower part of my body for the moment, he teased my nipples. He tugged each one hard enough to elicit a moan from my lips. Alden tormented each sensitive peak with his teeth. Each time he did it drew me deeper into bliss.
“There aren’t any bruises on my nipples. Let’s keep it that way.”
“No, your perfect buds weren’t harmed in your runaway escapade.”
“Enough teasing!”
“Relax, babygirl,” he said in a deeper, husky tone.
His voice alone drove me utterly wild. I threaded my fingers into his thick brown hair, massaging his scalp as he pleasured each side. I loved the gray at his temples. It made him look even more distinguished and handsome. But we needed to hurry because Alden was moving far too slowly for my patience. In fact, I had none. My clit ached to have the same treatment as my nipples. Groaning, I tugged the strands of his hair caught between my fingers.
“You’re not giving me what I want!”
“Naughty little brat.” Alden tsked.
His palm struck my mound hard. The pads of his fingers caught my pussy lips. I was wholly unprepared for the delicious sting of pain mingled with pleasure. But I didn’t want him to smack me again.
“I’m sorry, Sir.”
“Sir? I must be doing something right.”
Alden rolled off the mattress, stripping each item of clothing off with painstaking slowness. His signature smirk seemed sinister as I writhed against the mattress. Toying with me, he left his black boxer-briefs on. I wanted them off more than anything and wiped a line of drool from my lips.
“I’ll behave, Sir. Please?” I caught my breath. “Please fuck me?”
“Aw. Is my girl rethinking her demand?”
That wouldn’t do. I’d seemingly forgotten how much he liked to tease me before we had sex. I couldn’t put into words what it was doing to me tonight. Instead, I drummed up sass and tossed it in his direction. Acting as if I could care less when in fact, I was overthinking again seemed easier than anything else.
“Fine! Don’t fuck me. See if I care.”
Alden snickered. “Mmmhmm. Let’s see how much you don’t care.”
I hated how well he knew me, and loved it at the same time. Alden grabbed my hips and firmly but gently dragged me to the edge of the mattress so that my legs dangled at my knees. Alden set each one on his shoulders, giving him unencumbered access to my pussy. He took his time licking my clit, sucking on it, teasing all along the seam of my body.
“Alden…”
“No, baby. You were right the first time. In here? You can call me Sir or Daddy.”
“Please?” My voice came out breathy and whiny.
He thrust two fingers inside my hot, wet core. “What do you want, babygirl?”
“I need you.”
“You have me. You and Wyatt. I’m all yours.”
Panting, it took me thirty seconds to voice what I’d been keeping to myself. “For now.”
Alden licked his lips as if gathering his thoughts.
“Have your feelings changed, darlin’?”
I lay there on my back with my knees on his shoulders and his digits manually caressing my inner walls while thinking of how to politely answer. Damn it. I used to beg Luke and Tatum to let me tag along with them when they were riding the circuit just to watch Alden. Not that I wanted to think about either of them during a sexy moment. More than once in between Falcon Creek and Denver, we had stopped at a rest stop and my bottom had been spanked hard. Neither of my friends tolerated my bratty mouth. Which was the point. I’d be sore and not trapped in my head afterward. I spent many many nights in Denver hotel rooms alone wishing I wasn’t invisible to Alden romantically. Wyatt had been his shadow all those years, despite his flirtations with Luke. Why was I thinking about the past when the man I’d wanted to be with was playing with me intimately? Because it was easier to let my brain pretend that this was another hookup. That it was not the beginning of so much more. The three of us. Alden nipped my thigh and I hissed from the smarting pain.
“Quit it!”
“You’ve disappeared in your head, babygirl. Have your feelings for me changed?”
“No, they’ve gotten stronger, Alden.”
“Then quit worryin’.”
But I couldn’t do that. If the three of us became involved and Wyatt fell back into old patterns it would crumble our tripod. “Hang on. You don’t understand.”
“Sweetheart,” he drawled. “Ask me nicely to give you exactly what you’ve been craving.”
“What more do you want?” I snapped.
His eyes darkened and a flicker of concern passed over them.
“Kennedy–”
“No. What do I need to do? Write a freaking handwritten invitation in silver ink with a calligraphy pen?”
Alden withdrew his fingers from my pussy. That wasn’t what I wanted at all. He slapped my inner thighs several times in a row until the tears I didn’t know I was holding inside poured down my cheeks. I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my legs from his shoulders.
“I knew there was something bothering you, Kennedy. You’re lashing out instead of talking to me.”
Reluctantly opening my eyes and seeing his gorgeous blue ones studying mine made my dilemma worse.
“This was dumb, Alden. We can’t be in a relationship. The three of us? It’ll never work.”
“Why not?”
“You’re older than me.”
“Oh, no. You are not tossing a half-assed excuse at me and hightailing it. Tell me what’s on your mind, sweetheart.”
It was true but it was not a legitimate reason. Five years between us was not a huge gap. I couldn’t let him find out the real problem. I couldn’t explain out loud all of the mounting issues building inside my head. As badly as I wanted to give in and let Alden pleasure me, I had serious doubts. The truth glaring at me was that I didn’t trust Wyatt. He wasn’t Daddy material. It would leave Alden shouldering my crap as well as Wyatt’s, plus his own. That wasn’t fair to any of us.
“I can’t be in a relationship with both of you. I just can’t.”
“Give me the truth.”
“I wanted a quick fuck. You obviously want more.”
“Whoa. Hey, now.” He spoke to me like he was trying to approach a spooked horse.
“Thanks for taking care of me. I’m going home.” Every word sputtering out of my mouth held more snark than the last. I knew he wouldn’t accept it, but I forced distance between us.
“You’re lying through your pretty little teeth.”
Alden knew me better than most. He’d been my biggest supporter through my divorce. Alden always supported me. What was my problem now? Why couldn’t I accept the thing I’d been wanting for so long? Determined to get out of his bed, and his house, I gathered my stuff. Avoiding the conversation would be better than trying to explain myself. I knew somehow, he wouldn’t let me walk away. But I wasn’t going to keep begging for a release he wouldn’t indulge.
Alden
Staring at Kennedy as she grabbed her strewn clothing gave me pause. Something had shifted her stance on a relationship, though I hadn’t a clue what changed her mind.
“Do you know what happens after a Little girl lies to her Daddy?”
“He probably tells her to go home.”
I wrapped an arm around her waist. “Is that what you believe? Don’t lie to me twice.”
“Yup. He might tell her that she’s too much. Since she can’t listen and isn’t truthful, then her Daddy would have no other choice. Besides, I’m not your Little girl.”
I had to handle this another way. Helping her get dressed allowed me time to think of a way to fix this. We were not done, not by a long shot. And regardless of what she believed, Little or not, she was mine.
“So, let’s say Emma lied to Luke. Do you think he’d simply send her away?”
Kennedy gave an exasperated huff. “Emma would never lie! At least not on purpose.”
“But you still believe Luke would tell her to go away? That he didn’t want to be her Daddy anymore because she was having a hard time being honest?”
“I’m not Emma and you’re not Luke.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, and allowed a pregnant pause. She never acted quite like this. Worse than her actions, I couldn’t determine what made her spiral. Glancing along her body, I dropped my hand.
“You’re not pushing me away anymore. I should have dived deeper into your issues this past summer rather than allowing–”
“I wouldn’t have let you! Just like I’m ending this, whatever this is, before my heart gets broken. Again.”
“Who broke your heart, babygirl?”
Her eyes widened and she bit on her lip.
“Did I break your heart, Kennedy? Tell me because though I’m not usually wrong, I freely admit when I am.”
She pulled her hair up into a ponytail, her eyes blazing with heat, but something else tempered her anger. Sadness? Fear? Kennedy didn’t clarify. Instead she turned away from me, likely intending to continue her retreat, when I wrapped the end of her hair around my palm. I could tug to get her attention, but she froze.
“Let go.”
“Not until you tell me what you mean.”
“In general. I don’t want another heartbreak.”
“I can’t promise to be perfect, but I’ll never intentionally hurt you. I thought I made that clear.”
“Maybe not you. ”
“Is this about Wyatt?” I tugged on her ponytail once.
She let out a string of curses. “He’s not here.”
“Answer me.”
Instead she stomped her foot twice and refused to admit what the deep-seated issue was.
“I’ll handle Wyatt,” I stated, in case his involvement was the heart of the matter. “I’ll get him on board, but you don’t have to worry about it. I’ve got this, baby.”
Kennedy tried to untangle my fingers from the end of her ponytail. I gave her the satisfaction and then slid my hand so it was flush against her scalp. It gave me more leverage.
“Did you and Wyatt get into a fight over me? Hm? Wrasslin’ over who gets to be mine?” I interjected what I hoped was humor into an otherwise serious conversation.
“Please! I’d kick Wyatt’s ass.”
“Only because he would never lay a hand on you. He’s been in his fair share of fights.” Kennedy attempted to break free again, so I yanked her to me by her hair. I knew it stung, but she was wired differently.
“You’re pissing me off,” she said, almost growling.
“I’m turning you on. Keep talking.”
“Red.”
“This is not how colors work,” I said, sighing. Releasing her hair, I stepped around her and placed a hand on each cheek. Her face was a mask of indifference. I’d expected anger or tears but her perfectly calm features made me more concerned. A safeword or the stoplight system were typically used for scenes, punishments, times when you needed a quick check-in system. I’d never had someone safeword out of a conversation before, but there was a first time for everything, I supposed.
“I’m done with this conversation,” Kennedy confirmed. “Please Alden.” There was sadness in her voice, but she was calm.
“Babygirl,” I pleaded. “Tell me what’s wrong.” My mind was racing, trying to figure out where and why the conversation had taken a turn. Every time I landed on Wyatt. That was a problem I wasn’t quite prepared for, and one I hadn’t seen coming.
“It’s Wyatt, isn’t it?”
Her silence told me everything I needed to know. Well, maybe not everything. She loved him, I knew she did. And having a babygirl of our own, someone he was equally responsible for, someone he loved the way I knew he loved Kennedy… that was exactly what Wyatt needed to settle the storm inside him.
I knew I was right. But with the mood Kennedy was in, that was the last thing she needed to hear. What she needed was to be heard. So even though it went against everything in me, I nodded, and let her go.
“If you need to go, I’m not going to stop you. But it’s a reprieve, not an abandonment.
I’m not giving up on us. But no more big conversations today. We’ll circle back when you’re ready.”
“I don’t know when I’ll ever be,” Kennedy said sadly, grabbing her purse and coat.
It was breaking my heart to let her go, but something told me it was for the best. Kennedy needed space to work out whatever was going on in her brain, and I needed to figure out how I was going to be the best Daddy I could be for both of my favorite brats.
So I let her go, but not without making my intentions clear.
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I can wait. Now that I know both you and Wyatt want to be with me? Even if there are things to work out first, I’m determined to make us balance. So you can go, babygirl, but know this: I’m not giving up.”
And then, while she stood there with her mouth working like a fish, I walked her to the door, kissed her forehead, and let her go, knowing I’d said everything I could. Now I needed actions. And even though the road ahead was not going to be easy as we all figured this out, I knew that compared to everything else I’d faced in my life, wrangling my two brats would be a walk in the park.