6. Chapter 6
Chapter six
Abigail
When I came down to earth, Daddy tucked me into his side and just let me breathe for a moment. And because I wanted him to have as much pleasure as he’d given me, I snaked my hand lower. He caught it and chuckled. “Later,” he promised, kissing my forehead. “Tell me what growing up was like?”
I stared at him, shocked at the abrupt question. “Not like this.” I wasn’t sure what to say. Had I blurted out something before?
But he smiled and smoothed my hair back. “My dad was career army. I was a typical army brat. Moved a lot. Then we had practically two back-to-back moves and Dad went on special assignment, and it was like Mom reached her limit.”
“You didn’t blame her,” I said, because I knew he hadn’t .
He shook his head. “Everyone always says how brave the guys are, well, women now as well, but they don’t ever acknowledge how amazing the families are. The spouses. The kids. They don’t get the public glory. They just get the hard work and are left for months on end. The last one broke my mom, and she just about checked out of their marriage.”
I turned and snuggled into him, giving him my warmth. I wanted to give him everything.
“I could have coped with the men. Dad was never there, and as a kid I didn’t understand anyway, but when she left my dad, she left me as well. That I never understood.” My heart ached. I could hear the hurt and the bewilderment in his voice and in that moment, I knew we weren’t that much different. “I want to see the room again.”
He carefully cleaned me then dressed me in one of his shirts that fit me like a short dress. “How about you explore the playroom and see if there’s anything you might like to look at, to play with?”
The room I’d seen was what I’d always imagined heaven would look like when I was a child. I’d never owned anything. Each foster home had their own set of toys that all the children could share, but they were never just mine. The only thing I’d ever had that was mine was admittedly a very worn blue teddy bear called Panda. He wasn’t a panda. I doubted if I even knew what a panda was at that age, but I fiercely adored him. I had no idea where he had come from but I was never without him, until the first day of elementary school when my foster mom had put her foot down and said I wasn’t a baby and couldn’t take Panda to school with me .
So, reluctantly, I’d tucked him under my quilt in the small room I shared with another foster child called Emma who was four years older. Emma had nothing just like me, but she could be very prickly and tried to play favorites. When I got home, I rushed upstairs to tell Panda about my day, but he was gone. Heartbroken, I searched for him for hours. Even my foster mom helped until it was time for dinner, and it was only when it was bedtime, and I plucked up the courage to ask Emma if she’d seen him that I found out where he’d gone.
She’d thrown him away.
She refused to say why or where. My foster dad searched the trash but couldn’t find him. Emma left about a week after that, and I never saw her or Panda again.
“Is it what you hoped?" Daddy asked.
It was perfect. Perfectly dangerous. “But—” This was too risky. “But I’m not…” I cleared my throat. “I have a job,” I finished weakly, knowing that had nothing to do with his question, and all the time wanting to scream and jump up and down or burst into tears. It wasn’t real. This sort of thing never happened to me. I was never this lucky. I was silly, and spoke before I thought about what I should say, and I was scatterbrained, and my mind could never… But Gideon— Daddy —just gazed at me with those big brown eyes I could fall into. I wanted this so much I could taste it. In fact, I’d never wanted anything like it so much in my entire life.
Even all those nights I’d lain in strange bed after strange bed, and desperately wished for a family of my very own. Someone that would want to keep me.
He smiled again. “I know this is all new and while it’s exciting, it’s very scary as well. You don’t know me well enough to trust me, and I understand that. So, we’ll take it a step at a time. I want to understand what growing up was like for you. Tell me.”
So, I did. Random memories. I told him about Panda. I told him about Davey, a little boy that seemed to love the same things I did, but his mom turned up and even though I could tell he didn’t want to go with her, he was forced to go back with her.
I told him my biggest fear growing up. That I was jealous. That somehow the kids that had been picked would be brought back and the parents would choose me instead. How could I be so cruel?
But Daddy hushed me and held me and told me that I had been a little girl trying to soothe a great hurt that I shouldn’t have had to manage on my own, because adults should have been there to help me and it was their fault, not mine.
And somehow, as he took my hand and led me farther into the playroom, I felt better than I had in a long time.
My mind whirled as I took everything in. I had no idea where to start. He grunted almost as if I’d asked a question. “Let’s start with the bookcase.” He took my hand and walked over. He pulled out some coloring books and crayons. Then his hand fell on a box of jigsaw puzzles and my eyes widened. There was one with a whole heap of puppies on it, and my fingers itched to grab it.
Barely a few moments later, I was ensconced at a perfect little table, and I was industriously putting together the puppy jigsaw. I lost myself for what seemed like hours. Magically, I got a special cup, like I had at home, for orange juice along with all sorts of yummy snacks. More strawberries and some cut-up veggies with a special dip. In the background, I knew Daddy kept making phone calls and when I’d finished the finger sandwiches that were perfect, he came back into the room with his arms full of clothing bags.
“Abby? You have no clothes here, so I got you some things based on the size of your work clothes because I’d really like it if you would come to the club with me later this afternoon. We won’t stay long, but the Littles generally meet up early on weekends and I wondered if you’d like to make some new friends?”
I blinked and gazed at the bags. “You bought me clothes?” I whispered. It seemed the only thing I could process.
“Well, much as I love a flash of that sexy little bottom in my shirt, Daddy doesn’t want anyone else seeing it.” I blushed. He’d been touching me and kissing the whole time I’d been here, and I was really looking forward to more later. In fact, if I hadn’t been so far into my Little space, I might have tried persuading him to do more.
But Gideon… Daddy had bought me clothes . It was all a little much, but he beckoned me over and asked if I needed to use the bathroom. I did, so we went into a small bathroom just off this room. I quickly peed, then Daddy came back in while I was washing my hands. He grabbed a towel and, astonished, I watched as he carefully dried them. Then he kissed the end of my clean fingers and led me to where he’d put out an outfit. I beamed at his choice, not even questioning the fact that he had picked out my clothes. Some cute yellow shorts with sparkly flowers on the pockets, and a white tee-shirt with yellow daisies all over it. It had a matching yellow cardigan, and eagerly I let Daddy dress me. I wasn’t shy because he’d seen me already, and the way his eyes heated when he helped me put on the lacy white briefs and matching bra made goosebumps erupt on my skin, and I wished again I was brave enough to suggest we go to bed for the kisses he’d mentioned.
He even had some white Tinkerbell sneakers with glitter on them and a little bell that tinkled when I walked. I adored them.
When we got to the club, Daddy held my hand, and I smiled shyly at the big man sitting at the desk as we walked in. His name was George, and he told me daisies were his favorite flower. Then we walked into the big club room I’d been in the day before yesterday with Ricky, and I remembered feeling like an idiot. Suddenly overwhelmed, I tugged on Daddy’s hand and asked if I could go to the bathroom, just as another man named Maddox came over to say hello.
“Of course, Abby.” Daddy pointed to a door to the left. “The female locker rooms are right there and have a full bathroom, or there’s a single half-bath next to it and another two on the other side. I can’t go in but—” He looked around. “Rachel?” I followed his gaze and saw a woman—Rachel—walk toward us. I took in her gorgeous brown eyes, big breasts, long legs, and seductive smile, and tried to pull my fingers out of Daddy’s grasp and say I could go on my own. Rachel had on a tiny red skirt that showed more of her ass than mine had in Daddy’s shirt, and a matching corset and four-inch heels. I didn’t give Daddy a chance to insist and like a frightened little rabbit I practically ran for the locker room, just as another two women crowded around Daddy.
I rushed in and came face to face with a huge, full-length mirror. I’d been so thrilled with the clothes he’d bought me, but gazing at myself, I felt ugly and ridiculous, childish . How could Daddy possibly be interested in me if he had that sort of beauty around him to pick from? I heard the door open and ducked into a stall. Two women were talking. Unfortunately, they were both very loud and I heard every word.
“Did you see who Master Gideon brought in?” The shocked question made me feel quite sick, and I shut my eyes tight, as if that could block out the sound.
The other woman giggled. “I’d like to see the state of her baby clothes after he uses the bullwhip on her.”
A bullwhip? Wasn’t that the scary thing Ricky had wanted to see?
The first woman scoffed. “As if. He needs a proper sub. I know he plays at that baby stuff sometimes and well, if he wants me to sit on his lap I’m there for it, but no Dom with nearly twenty years’ experience can suddenly stop being a Dom. This latest craze is just that. He’ll grow tired of her like he’s grown tired of all the others. We’ve seen it time after time. I’m just going to be patient.”
The other woman laughed. “I give it a week.”
I heard the door open again and someone else ask the women if they’d seen Master Gideon’s Little?
They muttered that they thought I’d gone into the other bathroom, then the door banged shut as they left, and it fell silent. Tears streaming down my face, I knew I had to go. I should have known everything he said wasn’t true. Nothing this good ever happened to me. But I’d fallen for it. For one magical moment I’d had perfect, but now reality had caught up with me like it always did.
I blew my nose and realized I had to find a way to get home. I didn’t have any money on me. I didn’t even have a purse and fudge nuggets , the new key for my apartment was back at Da— Gideon’s . I had to stop calling him my Daddy when it was clear he wouldn’t ever be.
I opened the door, every thought in my head swirling around so fast I couldn’t grab on to one. Then I looked up at the sound of a footfall, only to see Rachel standing there. It was too much for my over-stimulated body to take in, and I got a brief feeling of weightlessness as if I’d jumped off a cliff.
I didn’t hit the bottom, though, because everything just went black.