8. Chapter 8
Chapter eight
Abigail
This wasn’t real. Why was I even here? My perfect weekend was coming to a close. Despite the skanks, it had been amazing. But I had to be back at work tomorrow. I couldn’t get caught up in the Gideon rollercoaster, because while I’d called him Daddy, I had to make sure I didn’t allow myself to believe it. It had been easy while floating on endorphins to give in, but two days—even perfect ones—didn’t make a lifetime.
It was Sunday. And I had laundry to do.
And there went my brain. Here I was contemplating a life-altering decision and instead of working through that, I was fixated on the fact that Sunday meant laundry. There was a small laundry in the basement for the complex and I hated it, but Sunday was quiet, and I could hide away from my landlord. I had to stay with my clothes while I washed them because the first time I’d left them, I’d come back to find them in a messy heap on the dirty floor where someone had thrown them, plus two pairs of my pink leggings had disappeared.
Two days later, I’d seen a teenager wearing them. At least, I thought they were mine, but I couldn’t prove it. And even if I could have proved it, what would I have done?
“That looks like a serious thought.” I glanced over at the bedroom door as Gideon came in with a tray, and I could feel the flush creeping up my neck.
“It’s Sunday.”
Gideon’s smile was amazing. It was full of humor. I never got the impression he was laughing at me, but he definitely found me funny. Was that it? Was I entertainment value?
“I think I’m going to like Sundays with you here, but unfortunately I have a site visit with Maddox, whom you met last night, at a new club.” he said, and put the tray on the nightstand. I looked at the bacon and scrambled eggs and my tummy growled. He took my lips in a kiss, which I tried to avoid because I hadn’t brushed my teeth, but he caught my chin—firmly but gently—and gave me no choice.
“You can get heart disease, you know,” I scolded a little breathlessly as he let go of me.
“From kissing or scrambled eggs?” he asked mildly.
I sighed. “No. Not brushing your teeth can cause bacteria to enter your bloodstream.”
He nodded solemnly. “Except you just woke up.” Which was true. “You can brush them after breakfast.” Which seemed a good idea, and I sat up eagerly.
“Let’s fill your tummy first, baby girl. ”
But he was leaving. He’d just said so. And laundry. “But it’s Sunday?”
He didn’t so much as skip a beat. He knew I didn’t mean I objected to eating because it was Sunday, but he knew my mind had skipped back to his meeting and what I needed to do.
“Going forward, I’ll make sure my weekends are free, but this was the only day I could get together with Maddox, Walker, and the contractor.” He forked some eggs, and I opened my mouth obediently. They were good eggs. And they definitely had cheese in them. He even handed me a triangle of buttered toast.
“So. I was hoping you could stay here and relax, draw me a picture for the fridge while I’m gone?”
He wanted a picture for the fridge? My heart bounced. I really really wanted to, but it was Sunday. And I couldn’t go into the basement when it was dark. There were needles on the floor sometimes. And the people who had dropped them might be there. And it was all messed up.
And I wanted to stay here forever. But he wouldn’t keep me. No one ever did.
“Do you think you will have time to drop me at home before your meeting?” I knew if I attempted the bus, he would probably chain me up. I had to appear reasonable, not needy.
“We can call for your things,” he said cautiously and took my hand in his.
And as much as it killed me, I had to be firm. “I need to go home. I have work tomorrow.”
Daddy— Gideon —looked like he was swallowing glass, but he nodded. “You promise to answer when I call you before bedtime?” He smiled, but it wasn’t the full-on one from a few minutes ago. This seemed forced.
“I promise,” I whispered. And I would until the first time he didn’t call. I was sure he believed he was serious, but eventually he would get sick of me. They always did.
Two hours later I gazed around at the space that had been my sanctuary for the longest time, trying not to feel like it was empty. Daddy had dropped me off a few minutes ago. He’d come inside and checked to make sure I had no monsters under my bed. He’d questioned me repeatedly about if I intended to go out and what I intended to do, and I’d just said I wasn’t going anywhere because I had laundry to do, which seemed to satisfy him. Then he’d gathered me in his arms and said he hated leaving me and I’d bitten my tongue so hard not to admit I agreed. But Monday was one of the hardest days and my longest, so I had to go to bed early. I started at seven and didn’t finish until four. I hadn’t complained when I’d been asked to start an hour earlier, because I was convinced if I couldn’t appear to be flexible enough, I would lose my job, but it was hard. We were supposed to get thirty minutes for lunch, but sometimes we were lucky if we could grab a bite while the kids were eating theirs.
I’d had to lock the door while he stood at the other side and checked, and I had. However, as soon as he left, I had to get my laundry together and go down to the basement. I couldn’t see the parking lot from my window, so I just waited for what I thought was a reasonable time, then gathered everything I needed and crept out of the apartment, hoping no one was gonna notice me. I had my quarters, laundry detergent, and a basket of clothes. I also had a book. Not one of my new library books in case it got dirty down there, but Black Beauty was a favorite and I almost never cried when I read it now.
I started my first load and settled back in one of the plastic yard chairs to wait it out.
It wasn’t too bad. Mrs. Gallagher from 412 came down, but she was just looking for an errant sock. I wanted to ask about the bruise on her face badly disguised by makeup, but I knew that when I’d asked her before about a different bruise, she hadn’t spoken to me for four months.
“You look happy,” she said after a moment.
I gazed at her. “Did you ever want something so bad you’re afraid you’ll hold it too tight and it will run to get away?”
She met my gaze, which was unusual. “A person or a dream?” Which kind of threw me.
“Both, I think.” Because Daddy was a person, but safety was a dream. She reached out carefully and patted my hand.
“Never stop wanting.”
She reminded me of Poppy, which was silly as she wasn’t a dog, but she still needed rescuing. “You’re in a cage,” I said, still thinking of the dog.
She nodded but a small smile tilted her lips, and she leaned forward. “It’s taken me eleven months to save up enough money, but tomorrow when he’s drunk, I’m on a bus to Carmel.”
I blinked, knowing that was a long-ass way. California wasn’t cheap.
“My sister,” she said in wonder. “Technically half, and I only found her two months ago.” She smiled again. “She would have sent me the bus money, but it was important to me that I did it.”
I clasped her hand. “I’m so happy for you.” She nodded and I dropped her hand, then she turned for the door before hesitating. “You won’t stay, right? It wasn’t a lack of money that kept me chained. For a long time, I thought it was all I was worth.”
And carefully, because I knew she was bruised, I walked over and hugged her and promised. Maybe she needed a Gideon, a Daddy. But didn’t we all? Actually, I thought as I folded my clothes, that wasn’t true. I didn’t think Mistress Rachel wanted her juice in a sippy cup and the thought had me giggling.
“What’s so funny?”
I looked up at the cold voice, knowing who I was going to see. Dave Kirkman was my worst nightmare, even more than skank one or two. Because they might hurt me inside, but this man could and would do a lot of damage inside and out. “Nothing,” I said, trying for casual, but even I could hear the tremble in my voice. “I’m just doing my laundry.”
“Yeah,” he said, “like every Sunday.” My heart started thumping again. This was bad. He was never here. How did he know? Had he been watching me?
I turned just as the washer finished and barely waited a second before yanking it open. The drying could wait, and I started stuffing it into grocery bags so it wouldn’t wet my dry clothes in the basket.
“In a hurry?”
I tried not to shiver. I really did. The last thing I wanted was to give this creep any idea he scared me, but I thought it was too late .
He stepped closer, trapping me between the machine and the door. “You haven’t been here this weekend.”
I nodded, trying to calm my frantic heart. The last thing I wanted was to pass out in front of him with no one else here. The very idea made me want to vomit, and I tried to breathe even though my guts were churning. “I stayed with a friend. From school,” I added, lying my ass off, which I hated.
“Yeah?” Dave said, coming even closer. “That’s odd, because you’ve been here nearly two years and I’ve never known you stay at a friend’s before.”
I was going to throw up. It was a real possibility. The idea he had been watching me so closely freaked me out.
“So, it was your friend’s husband that brought you back earlier in that fancy car, hmm?” He twisted a lock of my hair around his finger. “Because if your friends have money, maybe you can stay at their place. I have so many people wanting your apartment, as you know.”
My heart crashed against my ribs. It was an old argument. Unfortunately, it was also a fact. Dave took tenants without references and didn’t really care about piddly little things like credit scores. His own intimidation worked better than the government’s.
“I don’t want to give up my apartment,” I said, as reasonably as I could. “I was just visiting a friend.”
Dave pressed his chest to mine, pinning me against the machine. “I might need persuading.” I brought my arms up, hands pressed against his chest, and he laughed. “Best you can do?” He looped an arm around my waist. And of course, instead of struggling, of fighting, I just froze .
For about three seconds, as his head bent, and his slimy smelly mouth descended on mine. Then I brought my knee up or tried to. He was too close, so I pushed back.
“Let go of me,” I demanded, but he just laughed.
“Think you’re all that?” he grunted. “I’ve seen you. Swanning about in those sexy clothes, all prim and proper. Just begging for someone to take them off you.”
“No,” I gasped, but he laughed and lowered his head. I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. Why had I insisted on leaving Daddy? I felt my top rip and closed my eyes.
Because when Dave had finished with me, no one would want me. Not even Daddy.
Not even the dream of one.