10. Chapter 10
Chapter ten
Abigail
Daddy thought I was asleep, and I had been, sort of. Most of what happened had been a blur. Well, it was because I made sure it was. What was I going to do? I could never go back to my apartment, which meant I would have to find a new place, and what about work? It was still dark out, so I knew I’d slept the day away, and I really didn’t want to leave.
I had vague recollections of the doc, and Daddy trying to get me to eat, stumbling to the bathroom when he went to get me some more water. Him trying to look after me.
Except I was way too much trouble. Everyone eventually got sick of me. And Daddy would too. And then what would happen?
I’d be stuck alone with nowhere to live.
“Baby girl? ”
I heard the rumble behind me, felt it, because I knew Daddy had pulled me back against his chest. It wasn’t fair. He checked off everything on my Dream Daddy List.
“I need my clock.” Because the list was in there. There was a small enough gap with the batteries I could tuck the paper inside. And it would make me feel better to know I had it. My heart thumped. What if that nasty man went into my apartment? He was the landlord. The fact that Daddy had changed the locks wouldn’t matter. He’d just break the door and keep my $495 security deposit. It had taken me weeks to save that. And he’d steal everything. “I need it.” I needed everything. All my things. “I don’t have Panda anymore, but I need everything else,” and I started struggling. I had to go get them.
“Baby, it’s okay. I can send for all your things. Don’t worry.”
“No, I have to go now. No one can see.”
“Then I’ll go. I’ve already seen, remember?” Which made me stop. It was true. “When?”
“It’s only five am, Abby.”
“But he might get them.” I knew he would. He’d trash everything.
Daddy kissed the back of my neck. “No, he won’t. I told you yesterday I had security making sure all your things were safe. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”
He had? “You did?” And why didn’t I have to worry? I knew Daddy had punched him, but that would just make Mr. Kirkman even more cruel. In the back of my mind, I wondered if it would have been simpler if I hadn’t…no, oh ughh , that made me want to vomit, and I swallowed heavily.
“Look.” Daddy reached over for his phone and searched. He tilted it to me and showed me a view of my apartment door. “I had a camera installed.”
“But what if it doesn’t work or that horrid man breaks it?” Because he would. I knew that. He would come for me.
“Watch.” And Daddy scrolled through a list of alerts, and there were many. Every time another tenant walked past my door, it sent an alert.
I swallowed. Daddy had thought of everything. I so wanted to stay. Stay here forever.
“How about you try to go back to sleep?”
But I shook my head. “No. I start work at seven.”
I felt him stiffen. “Work?”
I managed to smile. “You work.”
Daddy opened his mouth, but then closed it. “I’m taking you and I will bring you home.”
But I didn’t have a home. Not anymore. “I finish at four.”
Daddy rolled me over and kissed me very gently. I wanted more, but I didn’t have time. And in the back of my mind, I didn’t much care for gentle either. I wanted Daddy to pin me to the bed and tell me I was staying there all day. Give me no choice. Convince me he wanted me to stay.
Daddy sighed and kissed my nose. “Okay. Go to work, but then we will talk tonight when you get home.”
I stiffened, but Daddy didn’t notice as he’d already rolled away to get up. Talk? Talking was never good. Talking happened when someone was going to tell you that you had to leave. That they were very sorry, but something had come up and for whatever reason they couldn’t keep you any longer. It always happened. And if it didn’t happen tonight, then it would soon.
Work was hard, not just because it was Monday, but because my mind was on so many other things. To be honest, I’d been so grateful to take an early lunch at eleven even though I wasn’t especially hungry. And I’d dressed in a long-sleeve blouse to hide my bruises. I was just glad I didn’t have any on my face. I could have fallen asleep, but I didn’t dare, and I was just putting my purse in the locker when my boss, Julie, put her head around the door. I checked the clock on the wall. I wasn’t late.
“Abigail, can you spare me a couple of minutes, please, in my office? I want to talk to you.”
My heart seemed to drop to my feet. This wasn’t good, and I frantically tried to think if I’d done something wrong this morning.
I took slow breaths as I’d been taught and gratefully took the offered chair in front of her desk. Julie walked around to her chair and then sat. She smiled at me, but this was bad. I suddenly had a memory of a teacher at school escorting me to the principal’s office where my family services worker was waiting. Apparently, my foster mom had been in a car accident. She’d recover, but all three of the kids needed rehoming. I’d really liked Dierdre. She was funny and so long as you stuck to her rules, she was never mean. But Mrs. Brenner had already been to the house to get my things. Two hours later I was back in a group home, and no matter how many times I asked, Dierdre never came back for me.
“Of course, I was shocked.”
I focused on Julie, realizing I’d been off in my head and hadn’t heard what she said. “You were?” I hedged, hoping she would repeat it .
“Well yes, as you know, I started this business five years ago, and we were due to open a second location in four months, but they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
“You’re leaving?” I asked hesitantly, and Julie sighed.
“Not right away. The new owners will have a transition period of four months.”
“You’ve sold the business,” I said.
Julie frowned. “That’s what I just said.”
I nodded. “Congratulations.”
She seemed mollified by that. “Will they want us to keep the same hours, do you think?” Maybe if I stayed with Daddy for a while, I could manage full time. Save some money.
“That’s the problem,” Julie said. “I’m sorry, but we reviewed all the staff, and you don’t have any further qualifications. You haven’t expressed any interest in further training courses, and the new company wants go-getters.” She pulled out a drawer and handed me an envelope. “You’ll be paid as usual on Friday.” I stared at the envelope as if it was going to bite me. “That contains a standard termination letter, your W-2, and a generic reference confirming when and where you worked.”
“You’re firing me,” I whispered. I couldn’t afford to go to school or do further training. It hadn’t been that I didn’t want to.
She winced. “I’ve phrased it as restructuring so you can claim some unemployment benefits.”
But that wasn’t enough. It had been so hard to get this job, and the only other thing I’d been offered was cleaning offices, which meant minimum wage and wouldn’t pay for an apartment on my own, even a crappy one .
Julie stood, indicating I should leave. “I have enough cover today, so I’m letting you go early. Please don’t go back inside the daycare, as I don’t want any of the children upset.”
I nodded, still unable to take everything in. But I managed to rise on shaky legs and go get my purse from my locker and hand Julie the key because she was hovering to make sure I left. And then I was outside and staring at the empty street.
Well, not totally empty. A few cars drove past and then one stopped. I knew that car. It was a black Ford Edge. Ricky loved his car.
“Abigail?” The window was wound down and he leaned out. “I was hoping to see you. I have your coat from Friday,” he added. “I knew you worked here, and I thought it might be easier if I just left it.”
“They fired me.” I bit my lip hard.
Ricky frowned. “Fired you? Why?”
“Because I’m not a go-getter,” I repeated miserably.
He got out and came over. “Look, I have time. Let me give you a ride home.”
I nodded because I needed my things, and I didn’t want to go on my own. I’d collected my cell phone, but it was dead after being in my locker all weekend, and I wanted my clock. The idea that that horrid man would get my Daddy list made me feel ill.
So, I got in the car and gave Ricky the address. I’d been fired. Someone else that didn’t want me. Why wasn’t I ever good enough?
“Are you okay?” Ricky asked after a nearly silent journey. “Sorry, that was a ridiculous question. Of course you’re not okay.” He pulled up outside my apartment block and I hadn’t moved. I just stared at the entrance. What if that horrid pig was in there? What if he saw me? But I needed my clock. I needed my list.
“Want me to walk up with you?” Ricky said. “You look a little shaky.”
I grabbed onto that thought. “Yes, please.”
We both went inside and even though I was practically hyperventilating, I kept on my feet all the way up to my apartment. But my hands were shaking so much I nearly dropped the key. Ricky sighed again, like I was really annoying, and took it from me to open the door. Managing a small smile, I walked in.
And stared at the completely empty space. Everything was gone. All my life. My clock, my list.
Maybe I should just disappear too?