Chapter 19
LOUIS
Bundled in my peacoat and scarf, I hustled down the sidewalk, wishing I hadn’t left my beanie in the city. The amount of heat I was losing from my bald head couldn’t be healthy in this weather. Thankfully, I wasn’t going very far.
I pulled open the door to the bakery, smiling as the warm scent of sugar and vanilla welcomed me into the shop.
“Louis!” Mrs. Sampson exclaimed like I was her long-lost best friend. “You’re back!”
It was mid-morning, late enough that it was past the morning rush but too early for lunch, making me the only customer in the shop. I crossed over to the counter, smiling in greeting. “Good morning, Mrs. Sampson. Did you have a good Christmas?”
“Please, call me Laurie. And yes, we had a lovely day. The kids made a mess of their gifts and we all ate ourselves silly. What about you?”
“I had a lovely phone call with my family, made myself dinner, then watched the Chiefs win. It was a good day.” I opted to leave Matthew out of it, trying to maintain his privacy.
“That’s good. I’m so glad to hear it. Now, what can I get you?
I’m out of apple streusel muffins, but I’ve got banana and blueberry.
I’ve also got pie by the slice—apple, pumpkin, and cherry.
But if you really want to hit Matthew right in the sweet tooth, he’s got a thing for chocolate chip cookies. ”
So much for leaving Matthew out of it. I started to ask her how she knew I was shopping for him, then decided it might be best not to open up that can of worms. I ordered a half dozen cookies, which she warmed up for me, then she made me a latte with brown-sugar syrup and extra whip, and a coffee for Matthew that she insisted was made to his preference.
Thanking her, I stepped back out into the cold and headed down the block toward the bookstore with quick steps and my head down to combat the wind.
Matthew and I hadn’t spoken since yesterday afternoon, so I wasn’t sure what I’d find when I walked into the shop.
After our nap and subsequent activities, Matty had made us sandwiches for a late lunch, then I’d excused myself to head back next door.
He hadn’t put up much of an argument, saying he needed to spend time working on his audiobook prep anyway, and though it had stung, I’d tried not to take it personally.
For all he said that he was making progress in accepting this new side of himself, I had to imagine some space might be welcome. And if I was being honest, I had some thinking to do myself.
The way things had progressed, not just in terms of speed but also intensity, was . . . well, it was a lot. More than anything, I wanted to help him come to terms with all of this in a way that left him feeling good about it. I wanted him to see his bisexuality as a gift rather than a burden.
But even as I did my best to make all of this about him—moving at his pace, meeting his needs, making him feel good—I was becoming entangled. He had this way of making me feel like he actually saw past my bullshit. And even still, he hadn’t pushed me away. In fact, he’d pulled me closer.
It was terrifying, because it felt good.
More than good—it felt right. Natalie would probably roll her eyes at this line of thinking.
How often had I fallen for someone so soon after meeting them, sure that this time would be different?
This time the guy would stick around. This time he’d find me interesting, rather than just a good fuck.
This time he wouldn’t tell me I was too much. Too needy. Too clingy. Too intense.
Except this time it really did feel different.
And I was only here for a few more days.
A smart man would walk away now. Would make up an excuse to head back to the city early.
Would take a few days to wallow about it, maybe even do a little bit of pining, then let it go.
And I wasn’t a stupid man, but I’d certainly never been smart when it came to love.
Shoving those thoughts down and pasting a smile on my face, I pushed open the door to the bookstore.
Ernie jumped off his chair with a short mew and stalked toward me, the tip of his tail swishing as he went.
He wound his body between my legs, bumping my shin with his head, letting out another mew when I didn’t immediately bend down and pet him.
I set the coffees and cookies down on the counter and stooped to pick him up. He chirped then hoisted himself up over my shoulder and began purring as he kneaded my shoulders with his paws.
“Traitor,” Matthew grumbled as he approached from the back corner of the store.
“I don’t know what to tell you. Cats love me.”
Matthew gave the cat a scratch, then stood back, shifting his feet awkwardly.
“I brought you a treat.” I nodded to the items I’d set down on the counter.
He turned and picked up the cookies, opening the bag so he could see what was inside. His eyes flicked to mine. “Mrs. Sampson told you I have a weakness for these, didn’t she?”
“She did. And she insisted the coffee is prepared just the way you like it. It’s the one on the left.”
He picked up his coffee and took a sip. “Did you tell her it was for me?”
“I didn’t have to. She seemed to have already figured it out.”
“She’s in the same book club as Janelle, along with half a dozen other folks from around town. Like I said, I’m sure the whole town knows I had you pressed up against a bookshelf.”
“Does that bother you?”
“Only because I prefer to keep my life private. Not because it was you.” As if to reassure me, he bent forward and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. Butterflies took flight as he pulled away, a smile spreading across my face.
“You’re a sweet man, Matty.”
“Don’t let it get out. I have a reputation to uphold.”
A laugh burst out of me, startling Ernie right out of my arms. Which was just fine because it freed them up to wrap around Matthew.
He drew me in close, smelling of his bar soap, laundry detergent, and his own uniquely comforting scent.
If those butterflies in my chest suddenly turned into a flock of pelicans .
. . well, we were practicing the fine art of denial, weren’t we?
“How’d you sleep?” he asked as we pulled apart.
I pasted on a bright smile. “Great! Got a full eight hours.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I call bullshit.”
I tilted my head up, affecting my a haughtiest look. “Are you saying I look tired?”
“No. I’m saying you’re a shitty liar.”
“Rude.” I snatched one of the cookies from the bag and moved a couple of steps away, putting space between us.
I didn’t want him to know how much this thing between us was affecting me.
It was supposed to be about him and his sexual awakening, not my own awakening of feelings.
He didn’t need to know that I’d tossed and turned all night, unable to stop analyzing the situation from every possible angle, or that I’d finally fallen asleep just before dawn only to dream about celebrating Christmas with him a year from now. Those things were none of his business.
I turned to face him, nibbling on a chunk of the cookie. It really was quite good. “Okay, maybe I had a hard time falling asleep. But it was probably because we took that nap. I was wide awake at bedtime. What about you? How did you sleep?”
He flashed me a grin then took a cookie for himself. “I was out like a light. I think it might have had something to do with the multiple orgas—”
“Brr. It’s cold as fuck out there.” A woman looking to be somewhere in her early twenties burst through the front door.
She pulled off her beanie and began unwrapping her scarf, revealing hair dyed black on her right and magenta on her left, with a center part acting as the dividing line.
She had a septum piercing and a row of small hoops running down the outside of her left ear, and her eyes were a startling shade of deep blue.
“Sorry I’m late, but my car wouldn’t start—again—and my brother wouldn’t get off his lazy ass to give me a ride.
” Her eyes landed on the bakery bag still sitting on the counter.
“Cool. Cookies.” She pulled one out and took a huge bite, eyes darting back and forth between me and Matty as if she’d just realized she’d interrupted something.
“Louis, this is Stevie, my assistant manager.” Manager? She looked like she was barely old enough to drink. My skepticism must have registered on my face because she answered the question I hadn’t given voice to.
“I’m twenty-three. Yes, I’m young, but I’m also smart as hell, and I work my ass off.”
“That’s . . . um, great. Seriously,” I said awkwardly.
She laughed, big and hearty. “Don’t worry about it.
I like taking people by surprise. It’s literally my favorite thing to do.
” She took another bite of cookie, her eyes flicking back and forth between us.
They narrowed, then blew wide as she focused her attention solely on Matthew.
“Shit, Olivia was right. You are banging the city boy.”
“That’s not—we’re not—we’re not banging exactly.
” I watched in fascination as color flooded Matthew’s cheeks, and he struggled to respond.
Was he flustered because of his sexuality or was it the talk of banging?
I suspected it was the latter. Matthew struck me as a gentleman in the streets and a freak in the sheets.
“But you guys are doing something, right? Sex is definitely happening between you two. You both have it written all over your faces.”
“Okay, Stevie. That’s . . . something we’re absolutely not discussing.” Matthew picked up his coffee and the remaining cookies. “The store’s been slow again today. I’m taking the rest of the day off.”
“Oh, now I know there’s definitely something going on here.” She gestured between the two of us. “I heard you closed up early yesterday and now you’re taking another afternoon off? That’s two days in a row.”
“Yes, thank you for pointing that out, Stevie. Come on, Louis. Let’s go upstairs.”
“Upstairs, huh? Gonna have a little afternoon delight?” She wiggled her eyebrows at us in a gesture that was so outrageous a laugh burst out of me.
“Ignore her,” Matthew grumbled, taking my hand and dragging me toward the stairs.
We were about halfway up when she called out, “Welcome to the Queer Club! We meet every fourth Tuesday!”
Matthew released my hand, taking several steps back down. “Seriously?” he asked, his tone incredulous.
“No,” she said, her voice full of laughter. “But maybe we should start one. I’ll bring my girlfriend. It’ll be rad.”
Matthew clomped back up the stairs to where I was standing, my body shaking with laughter. “I don’t want to hear it,” he said, nudging me forward up the rest of the stairs.
“Why not? It’ll be rad!”